A dream, from last night.

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I ended up in some... ivy league college.  Didn't want to be there.  There... were reasons... to be there.  If you know me, you know how... uncomfortable I would be in such an evil place.  But, sometimes, like driving through Vegas, or visiting for exterior reasons, things must be tolerated.

One of the classes I had some hope for, was a course on classical music.  The woman teaching the course, was an opera singer... one who had even made it to my ears.  Her class was one of the few I was able to choose.

As it turned out, it wasn't a course on the history of opera.  Or on critique, or listening for understanding, or... any of those things.  What I didn't know was it was... the creation of a choir, for a year, maybe two... returns were possible, the following year.

Some students quit immediately, upon learning this in the first day.  I... held from dropping, before discussing this with her.  I am not a good singer.  Though, as I mentioned, when I had died, in purgatory, and I suspected above and below, singing was how communication was transmitted.  Though, there, one could be, was often in, several choirs at a time, many really.  Local, with someone close... in one or many surrounding local, as if eavesdropping but politely welcomed to do so, and then on up to the high choir that always sang praises to God.  Well, that... is how I remember things.

Anyway... I had to speak to her.  I didn't discus this matter, well... not initially.  I merely wished her to know that I was not a singer.  Doubted I could gain skill.  And let her know I was terribly stage shy.  But, if she thought her talents, and the way the course proceeded, could manage my limitations, I would entertain the challenge.  She thought so, as she said, always with hope.

And so it went.  I learned to sing.  And... better than I had imagined, down here on earth.  Great?  I... found a place in the choir.  As did most others.

In time, I told her of my story, of purgatory.  I don't think she was a believer, which sort of made the telling... awkward.  And, yet, I think it meant something to her.  The tale, for her, touched something.  I don't think she was ready to believe, but... in time.  And this added to it.  For she found me... honest... in some deep way.  But, for the moment, it remained and awkward thing.

As we became closer, she feared.  She had many students... men... in her classes... take a hankering to her.  Her voice, as they became skilled themselves, was alluring to the point of seeming love.  I assured her, I did love her.  But... as a sister.  In the full meaning therein.  I would love to have loved her more romantically, but I could see her flaws too, and our differences.  Even, in another world, with fewer options, we... just wouldn't be compatible?  Or... too compatible?  One of those.  I could wish for the sentiments, but they just weren't there.

Oddly, her disappointment in these last conversations were... more severe than her disappointments in the last conversations... about purgatory.  I think she hoped I had fallen.  Though whether for a feather in her cap, or because she had some small trifling of affection for me, I could not tell.  I hoped for a particular one, but she... would never give it away.  A man can dream... of a feather in his own cap?

Ah, but the music, singing... and she was a beautiful woman, in most ways.  Quite the dream.  A very odd dream, including parts of my past I rarely share.  I have dreamed this before, long long ago.  Decades?  Close to two, give or take five.  I loved the dream, but it wasn't as full as this one.  Or I just don't remember it as well.  I realized, while dreaming it, that I had... been here before.  Dream deja vu?  No, not deja vu.  A direct memory, just within the dream?  Odd.  But fairly regular for me.  I must recycle dreams a lot.

Oh, but... for some reason, this song resembled some of how I sensed she felt about me.  She wasn't... romantic, with me.  Just... women always try to puzzle men as they see us as the woman they are, could be, would be?  Women are nuts.  Men are just crazy.  :p  Well... or so it seems.  Amen?

A lord?  With very little interest in... ruling?  Among... other things.