.
.
Two very large loads of laundry have been washed, the last is in the dryer. Everything was hung or folded from the load that is done. As well, I did a lot of the dishes. They have been washed and sit in a rinse until I get the last bit of energy to finish them, after finishing the laundry. While I was at it, I cleaned and set up my rice cooker, and rice and fish should be done in twenty minutes. After I finish what I have started, however, that will be it for the day. The only other thing to do is to stay awake until at least 18:00, though 19:00 to 21:00 would be preferable. I don't want to push though, as pushing, at times, on top of a relatively heavy load for the day, can cause problems.
Further, I am finally able to hit the game again, at least rightly. I had thought I had hit the maximum of my capacity in the game. Not so much. It is just that I was as bound in real life as I was in the game. When I started planning, and doing, the bottleneck in gaming opened. Three bosses that had been ripping me up I took down in three single shots. I didn't do anything new, or different, I simply hadn't been in a state of mind to do what I meant to do as well as I had meant to do it. Everything was off. Basically, save for the final boss, I am done with the game. Replay is reasonable. You keep almost everything, but the game becomes... much more difficult. The trade-off with increased difficulty is increased payout, by a 1:2 scale, give or take. Initially, that isn't much of a trade. It is only over time where the pay-off begins to overcome the advanced difficulty.
An advantage to playing the increasingly hard game levels is that, should you choose to play another character type, you will gain skills that carry over. And, yes, this game... most likely, will be my winter hold-over recreation. I hope it isn't the only one, snowshoeing is still on the menu, as is scouting camping opportunities and locations for the future. I need to find where it is safe enough to camp, and whether I can get there. Or, more, how long it would take me given the load needed for a couple of days out. In the summer it isn't as much of a problem. But in the winter... You have to have enough to survive, then some, and some back up for when everything goes wrong. But you still have to be able to carry it all. So... Scouting and learning to walk that way, are on the list. Perhaps next year I will begin looking for a true four season tent (really only three season, but it means winter worthy). And, perhaps, learning more about what is needed, what is required, what "luxuries" really work, and begin exploring my tastes just through day hikes. Gearing and learning in a smaller way along the way.
I only have one major purchase still to go. A heavy duty wheat grinder. After that, I can pretty much play with my money a bit more easily. Setting some back for play, but beginning to save, and maybe put more on the house and car. A four season bomb shelter tent is on the longer view, but before that, a Nikon D7100 with at least two lenses... as standard and a telephoto. And classes... One place, locally, that sells them, offers the classes for free, with purchase and a photo print bundle. I've checked their deal, it's legit. After that? I need to figure a few things out. Perhaps have cleaners come in once in a while. House cleaners. I can't afford an impeccable cave, but I wouldn't mind a little help once in a while. Clean a room and it inspires me... to do a little more, for a while anyway...
Well... On to lunch. Later.
Saturday, September 20, 2014
Much? No.
.
.
I did open the curtains. That... wasn't a metaphor by the way. Actually, I handled that most of the day, if I didn't open them all of the way. Planning... and I saw an opportunity to push my day through into a real day. I was able to stay awake until 18:00 and some goodly change. A major success. I saw the potential for it, and though I had other intentions... priorities. Getting a day shift back into the game is bigger than doing a few tasks, no matter, almost, what they might be... unless vital for survival. But... when eating and drinking aren't vital for survival... I just don't encounter such things often, and when I do, oddly, my body quickens so as to manage or hardens so as to survive it. It's not something I even need to contemplate. Going down a floodstage whitewater run taught me just how hard I am. I don't think I broke a single rock, but I sure gave it all I had, many times. I didn't even bruise. Then again, I was in the cold cycle! :)
I woke around 4:00. Sassy was being a little monster. Normally I don't mind. But... yesterday, in celebration to my newfound intent, and some will to spend on it, I had fed them twice (soft, remember... I always keep their hard food available). So, when she was harassing me all through the night, waking me at least twice, when I got my stones ready to throw, I grabbed the little beast (not painfully, but surely) and relocated her outside. Brat! And, I told her when I let her in an hour later, that if she went native again I would toss her again. Yeah, she knows what I said. And she knows I mean it.
Never mind. To start the day, I didn't want to just... wake. Dishes were set to soak. Not all of them. Some that where in there, some that were out. Not all, but a start. Then I collected laundry, perhaps not all of it... again, but enough to begin. I need daylight, I need clean clothes, and I would like to be set to begin having a meal a day, extra some days but just standard on all days. Beside collecting clothing, I put the first load in, then checked to make sure the dryer was clear. All good.
Now I get to sit for a goodly bit. The laundry can sit for a bit, when it is done. I will game for a while, a couple of hours, then cycle the laundry. Then sit again, do the dishes, sit again, and hit the laundry. I might get six or eight cycles of effort through, I might get four. I just want to make sure that at least the washer is emptied and dried out, whatever else happens. As well, I plan to get the trash and recycling queued.
Ugh, but I am running low on some primary items. Coffee, tobacco, cream, and milk. I might have to make a super sekret run and jump into town. It'll have to be fast, hard, and nothing else. If I can do it. Crap sandwiches, that means a shower. I just took one yesterday, but... I just won't go into town unclean. I am sure I smell a bit off, because of living in... a temporarily fetid world, bachelor land of the worst order at the moment, but why add to it. Then again, I obsess. Hard to know and no one will say. The fears of a single man. I suppose even women worry about such things?
Oh, by the way, I did finally order a heater for the garage. Nothing fancy. It's just a minor propane heater, Big Buddy, or somesuch. The hope is, in the winter, I can use the shop. Perhaps, if it all works eventually, even lift weights as well. The thing is, it opens the window of opportunity for garage use, for many various things. I have a couple of canisters of propane, at the moment. That should last me most of the winter, I suspect. A few hours here and there, when I can. Uhrm, and a good way to heat the auto if I should need to take a road trip, if that usually isn't too much of a problem, it would be a nice touch.
Well... on to my day, and you to yours. Make it a good one, give that a shot, or just hang on for dear life, limb, and the pursuit of a quieter time and place. Later.
.
I did open the curtains. That... wasn't a metaphor by the way. Actually, I handled that most of the day, if I didn't open them all of the way. Planning... and I saw an opportunity to push my day through into a real day. I was able to stay awake until 18:00 and some goodly change. A major success. I saw the potential for it, and though I had other intentions... priorities. Getting a day shift back into the game is bigger than doing a few tasks, no matter, almost, what they might be... unless vital for survival. But... when eating and drinking aren't vital for survival... I just don't encounter such things often, and when I do, oddly, my body quickens so as to manage or hardens so as to survive it. It's not something I even need to contemplate. Going down a floodstage whitewater run taught me just how hard I am. I don't think I broke a single rock, but I sure gave it all I had, many times. I didn't even bruise. Then again, I was in the cold cycle! :)
I woke around 4:00. Sassy was being a little monster. Normally I don't mind. But... yesterday, in celebration to my newfound intent, and some will to spend on it, I had fed them twice (soft, remember... I always keep their hard food available). So, when she was harassing me all through the night, waking me at least twice, when I got my stones ready to throw, I grabbed the little beast (not painfully, but surely) and relocated her outside. Brat! And, I told her when I let her in an hour later, that if she went native again I would toss her again. Yeah, she knows what I said. And she knows I mean it.
Never mind. To start the day, I didn't want to just... wake. Dishes were set to soak. Not all of them. Some that where in there, some that were out. Not all, but a start. Then I collected laundry, perhaps not all of it... again, but enough to begin. I need daylight, I need clean clothes, and I would like to be set to begin having a meal a day, extra some days but just standard on all days. Beside collecting clothing, I put the first load in, then checked to make sure the dryer was clear. All good.
Now I get to sit for a goodly bit. The laundry can sit for a bit, when it is done. I will game for a while, a couple of hours, then cycle the laundry. Then sit again, do the dishes, sit again, and hit the laundry. I might get six or eight cycles of effort through, I might get four. I just want to make sure that at least the washer is emptied and dried out, whatever else happens. As well, I plan to get the trash and recycling queued.
Ugh, but I am running low on some primary items. Coffee, tobacco, cream, and milk. I might have to make a super sekret run and jump into town. It'll have to be fast, hard, and nothing else. If I can do it. Crap sandwiches, that means a shower. I just took one yesterday, but... I just won't go into town unclean. I am sure I smell a bit off, because of living in... a temporarily fetid world, bachelor land of the worst order at the moment, but why add to it. Then again, I obsess. Hard to know and no one will say. The fears of a single man. I suppose even women worry about such things?
Oh, by the way, I did finally order a heater for the garage. Nothing fancy. It's just a minor propane heater, Big Buddy, or somesuch. The hope is, in the winter, I can use the shop. Perhaps, if it all works eventually, even lift weights as well. The thing is, it opens the window of opportunity for garage use, for many various things. I have a couple of canisters of propane, at the moment. That should last me most of the winter, I suspect. A few hours here and there, when I can. Uhrm, and a good way to heat the auto if I should need to take a road trip, if that usually isn't too much of a problem, it would be a nice touch.
Well... on to my day, and you to yours. Make it a good one, give that a shot, or just hang on for dear life, limb, and the pursuit of a quieter time and place. Later.
Friday, September 19, 2014
First steps.
.
.
When coming out of shadows, a trick is to not come out too quickly. The light is blinding, the heat is overwhelming, it is all too much. A short time in the light, in this case literally, will begin with pulling the shades as long as I can handle it. The goal is to open them up most of the time. As well, I need to begin keeping my mind in the world. I need to look for small tasks, and do them. Cat littler and the trash, as examples, but other things too. Phone calls, business, cleaning, and... other things. Yes, these went away from thought for some time. But just a few things each day. As with eating or drinking, or more both, when those haven't been done in too long of a time. Too much is very little, so consuming slowly is vital. More damage can be done by going to fast than waiting a bit longer. The odd thing is, both physically through food and water or mental deprivation, and I have known both, is that after the natural hunger is gone, when consumption begins again, the hunger is the absolute worst. Great control must be administered.
Today? I would love to get to town, but that simply isn't possible. It would mean showering, dressing, driving, plus planning an itinerary, then fulfilling that. I have much to do in town, business here, business there, a card to send, shopping, visitations. But... it's too much. I'm not even ready, physically, to be outside. So... perhaps soaking dishes, maybe gathering trash and cleaning the cat litter, perhaps policing the place a bit. A task here, stretching but just a bit. It's like walking on legs that have fallen asleep. You don't take the stairs, you don't run, and you don't hike a dangerous ridgeline. Small, careful, well-chosen steps. And so it goes.
I have been inactive, so far, today. But in that, I have been gathering my resources of wit and will. I have begun planning, thinking about how to do what I need to do, and what it is I actually need to do. As well, prioritizing is taking place. There is too much to do quickly, even if I had my legs under me. So... priorities. But those don't just create themselves, and there will be interference at every step. I'm on it though. I sort of have a rough plan. Monday to Wednesday I will be in town. But I will need to tend some things here first, while expanding my capacities, and then focus even so. A short, easy, shopping trip. Then, maybe Friday, business. Nothing big, I can't do it. Too weak. First the house, and my flesh, some food, and some small works. It's the way it has to be.
Later.
.
When coming out of shadows, a trick is to not come out too quickly. The light is blinding, the heat is overwhelming, it is all too much. A short time in the light, in this case literally, will begin with pulling the shades as long as I can handle it. The goal is to open them up most of the time. As well, I need to begin keeping my mind in the world. I need to look for small tasks, and do them. Cat littler and the trash, as examples, but other things too. Phone calls, business, cleaning, and... other things. Yes, these went away from thought for some time. But just a few things each day. As with eating or drinking, or more both, when those haven't been done in too long of a time. Too much is very little, so consuming slowly is vital. More damage can be done by going to fast than waiting a bit longer. The odd thing is, both physically through food and water or mental deprivation, and I have known both, is that after the natural hunger is gone, when consumption begins again, the hunger is the absolute worst. Great control must be administered.
Today? I would love to get to town, but that simply isn't possible. It would mean showering, dressing, driving, plus planning an itinerary, then fulfilling that. I have much to do in town, business here, business there, a card to send, shopping, visitations. But... it's too much. I'm not even ready, physically, to be outside. So... perhaps soaking dishes, maybe gathering trash and cleaning the cat litter, perhaps policing the place a bit. A task here, stretching but just a bit. It's like walking on legs that have fallen asleep. You don't take the stairs, you don't run, and you don't hike a dangerous ridgeline. Small, careful, well-chosen steps. And so it goes.
I have been inactive, so far, today. But in that, I have been gathering my resources of wit and will. I have begun planning, thinking about how to do what I need to do, and what it is I actually need to do. As well, prioritizing is taking place. There is too much to do quickly, even if I had my legs under me. So... priorities. But those don't just create themselves, and there will be interference at every step. I'm on it though. I sort of have a rough plan. Monday to Wednesday I will be in town. But I will need to tend some things here first, while expanding my capacities, and then focus even so. A short, easy, shopping trip. Then, maybe Friday, business. Nothing big, I can't do it. Too weak. First the house, and my flesh, some food, and some small works. It's the way it has to be.
Later.
When the time comes.
.
.
I gave my body and mind time to work out whatever is wrong. As wild beasts, they must be given some room to be what they are. But they are not choosing to simply get it out of their system, they are seemingly choosing to try to make what is a systemic norm. I won't allow it. So, over this weekend, I will be using sticks and carrots, whips and graces, push and pull, to bring my aspects back together and put them into alignment with my will and goals. Sometimes I really have to let these things go. Much as parents with children. There simply comes a point where that is not working and a... change is in order. That time has come.
I doubt if some can see the difference, from the outside. On the inside, however, I know the difference the way a concert pianist knows his mistakes even if those listening do not. It isn't just about how I interact with the world, though there is that. It is how I am working inside. I am sure health is part of the problem. It isn't the problem, though. Health issues are more like the pebbles one can't seem to keep out of the shoes, and just a little too small of a water supply, on a long footbound journey. It is a distraction. Sometimes it is good to be distracted, sometimes it prevents... solutions, options, or opportunities, from being seen when they might otherwise be seen and utilized. No, Johny really isn't a normal little boy.
Waiting. I have... things to do, perhaps, even yet. Late might be the hour. God has quickened me, here, in this flesh, before. He may do it again, if the time comes. Doc's doubt, and I suppose they should. As do others. Even I have some doubts. But I have felt the wounds, I have seen the deaths, and I look at myself in the mirror often enough to know. I am here. I couldn't be. I suppose, though to, I will only be called if the time comes. Until then, I must live in a mothballed status, and keep the trim, some parts functioning, and balance. So... I will do what I must to right my ship. The current status is unacceptable.
A few hours to wake. A bit of coffee. Then I begin laying out the plans to revitalize my existence and put much back into specs. It's a man's man job. It means waking the dead, controlling the beast, outwitting a brilliant but recalcitrant psyche, and doing what must be done over what is. Urhm, it is going to hurt. Though... you know me and pain. Love me some good old fire and chaos of the senses. So, hi ho, hi ho, into battle I will go. Later.
.
I gave my body and mind time to work out whatever is wrong. As wild beasts, they must be given some room to be what they are. But they are not choosing to simply get it out of their system, they are seemingly choosing to try to make what is a systemic norm. I won't allow it. So, over this weekend, I will be using sticks and carrots, whips and graces, push and pull, to bring my aspects back together and put them into alignment with my will and goals. Sometimes I really have to let these things go. Much as parents with children. There simply comes a point where that is not working and a... change is in order. That time has come.
I doubt if some can see the difference, from the outside. On the inside, however, I know the difference the way a concert pianist knows his mistakes even if those listening do not. It isn't just about how I interact with the world, though there is that. It is how I am working inside. I am sure health is part of the problem. It isn't the problem, though. Health issues are more like the pebbles one can't seem to keep out of the shoes, and just a little too small of a water supply, on a long footbound journey. It is a distraction. Sometimes it is good to be distracted, sometimes it prevents... solutions, options, or opportunities, from being seen when they might otherwise be seen and utilized. No, Johny really isn't a normal little boy.
Waiting. I have... things to do, perhaps, even yet. Late might be the hour. God has quickened me, here, in this flesh, before. He may do it again, if the time comes. Doc's doubt, and I suppose they should. As do others. Even I have some doubts. But I have felt the wounds, I have seen the deaths, and I look at myself in the mirror often enough to know. I am here. I couldn't be. I suppose, though to, I will only be called if the time comes. Until then, I must live in a mothballed status, and keep the trim, some parts functioning, and balance. So... I will do what I must to right my ship. The current status is unacceptable.
A few hours to wake. A bit of coffee. Then I begin laying out the plans to revitalize my existence and put much back into specs. It's a man's man job. It means waking the dead, controlling the beast, outwitting a brilliant but recalcitrant psyche, and doing what must be done over what is. Urhm, it is going to hurt. Though... you know me and pain. Love me some good old fire and chaos of the senses. So, hi ho, hi ho, into battle I will go. Later.
Thursday, September 18, 2014
Wandering the byways of the nether.
.
.
The nether, science finally concluded, doesn't exist. Or, more precisely, the nether is more precisely defined. Pick which answer you will, they will go with whichever suits their fancy. None of them, from experience, actually know. Not the point, or even a point, to my topic, just a side note. When dealing with enemies, as I like to say, real enemies anyway... kick em' when they're up, kick em' when they're down. Repeat as necessary. Any "profession", advocacy, belief system, or such that is contrary to God in it's aim is an enemy. No, science doesn't have to be that way. Debate God? I do that. I wrestle with Him sometimes daily. If I don't like something He says, we go to town. He has no problem with that. Heck, that is how He won me over. He's... well... He's good at this. Better than I, by far. And, He doesn't mind a bit. Pummeled, psychically bruised, sore of body, whimpering in a corner, He just suggests when I am ready we can go at it again. Sometimes I don't even give Him a chance to finish before we are back at it. I'm not a damned quitter! *grin* Science couldn't ever win, so they quit. Big babies if you ask me. Some, at some points, have weighed such things. But it is lost on the new breed.
.
The nether, science finally concluded, doesn't exist. Or, more precisely, the nether is more precisely defined. Pick which answer you will, they will go with whichever suits their fancy. None of them, from experience, actually know. Not the point, or even a point, to my topic, just a side note. When dealing with enemies, as I like to say, real enemies anyway... kick em' when they're up, kick em' when they're down. Repeat as necessary. Any "profession", advocacy, belief system, or such that is contrary to God in it's aim is an enemy. No, science doesn't have to be that way. Debate God? I do that. I wrestle with Him sometimes daily. If I don't like something He says, we go to town. He has no problem with that. Heck, that is how He won me over. He's... well... He's good at this. Better than I, by far. And, He doesn't mind a bit. Pummeled, psychically bruised, sore of body, whimpering in a corner, He just suggests when I am ready we can go at it again. Sometimes I don't even give Him a chance to finish before we are back at it. I'm not a damned quitter! *grin* Science couldn't ever win, so they quit. Big babies if you ask me. Some, at some points, have weighed such things. But it is lost on the new breed.
Monday, September 15, 2014
I'm still here.
.
.
Sleep has been really off. Four hours every fifteen to eighteen up I'll go do. So... my days have been... odd. Gaming, at least, fits in well enough. It means I am doing something while doing nothing. While at it I am developing an epic character. A lot of hours in. But then, I can't do anything else, so...
As for the game, I found early that if your console is connected to the internet, it is an multiplayer game. People can invade, and I suppose you could invade other player's games. Not my gig. So I keep it unconnected. Now, when connected, other people can leave messages, warnings, and such. Playing offline I don't get those. Fine by me. While often helpful, they are also annoying.
It is a crazy game. Some of it still doesn't make sense. It is really too big to memorize, though you might get an idea of what is going on. I am about a third of the way to understanding. Some of the understanding only really comes from play various "classes", types of character. I'm playing a mage-sword, mostly, with a bit of the thief style thrown in. Light armor, fast, but also fragile. A scout, if you wanted it in modern terms. Only, there is no army.
I missed supper last night. I tried to stay awake for it but fell off a cliff at about 18:00. With my sleep patterns, I can only do just so much. I can push my bedtime, as variable as that is, only an hour, maybe two. Which I did. But that was that. It's like a hammer comes down. I'm lucky to shut off the machines and make it to bed. I am surprised I remember the time. Usually, when I go to bed, or wake up, I am clueless. I look at the clocks, my phone, everything I can, but the time usually doesn't stick.
Another week of this and I'll figure something else out. I put up with problems for a while, then I solve them if they don't go away on their own. We'll see. Perhaps, as I am nearing the end of the game, that will help. When I fall, if I can, then am, gaming, I can... sort of become obsessive. Get it DONE! Now, there are replays, but those are simpler, in a way. The game will get harder, but the... modes of attach, weaknesses, and exploits, remain the same. You just have to use them more often. Your opponents merely take more damage before going down. Not sure I'm up to some of that. Making a hard game longer is tough in my condition. Short, easy enough, and sweet, or I have to skip it.
Just thought I'd put something out. Now back to the dungeons! Later.
.
Sleep has been really off. Four hours every fifteen to eighteen up I'll go do. So... my days have been... odd. Gaming, at least, fits in well enough. It means I am doing something while doing nothing. While at it I am developing an epic character. A lot of hours in. But then, I can't do anything else, so...
As for the game, I found early that if your console is connected to the internet, it is an multiplayer game. People can invade, and I suppose you could invade other player's games. Not my gig. So I keep it unconnected. Now, when connected, other people can leave messages, warnings, and such. Playing offline I don't get those. Fine by me. While often helpful, they are also annoying.
It is a crazy game. Some of it still doesn't make sense. It is really too big to memorize, though you might get an idea of what is going on. I am about a third of the way to understanding. Some of the understanding only really comes from play various "classes", types of character. I'm playing a mage-sword, mostly, with a bit of the thief style thrown in. Light armor, fast, but also fragile. A scout, if you wanted it in modern terms. Only, there is no army.
I missed supper last night. I tried to stay awake for it but fell off a cliff at about 18:00. With my sleep patterns, I can only do just so much. I can push my bedtime, as variable as that is, only an hour, maybe two. Which I did. But that was that. It's like a hammer comes down. I'm lucky to shut off the machines and make it to bed. I am surprised I remember the time. Usually, when I go to bed, or wake up, I am clueless. I look at the clocks, my phone, everything I can, but the time usually doesn't stick.
Another week of this and I'll figure something else out. I put up with problems for a while, then I solve them if they don't go away on their own. We'll see. Perhaps, as I am nearing the end of the game, that will help. When I fall, if I can, then am, gaming, I can... sort of become obsessive. Get it DONE! Now, there are replays, but those are simpler, in a way. The game will get harder, but the... modes of attach, weaknesses, and exploits, remain the same. You just have to use them more often. Your opponents merely take more damage before going down. Not sure I'm up to some of that. Making a hard game longer is tough in my condition. Short, easy enough, and sweet, or I have to skip it.
Just thought I'd put something out. Now back to the dungeons! Later.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)