Strange.

.

.

Well, neck and shoulders are every so slightly... literally... cranky.  Not much bad there, just a... crinkle, wrinkle, and slight out of trim sensation.  Some very slight pain, ache, but almost nothing I can't hide under the psychic rug so to speak.  But my feet are absolutely... or... mostly... what pains me.  A bit even when seated, when walking on them, like walking in too tight of shoes... wearing only flipflops.

I checked waterers, and filled feed bins.  Nothing was out, just liked to top it off for the night.  Most likely the rabbits won't even eat tonight.  All the waterers were good, though some will probably need to be changed out tomorrow when I do rounds.  Not all, not most, not even many.  I would guess three or four will need exchanged.  All good.

The girls were forgotten.  I always feel bad.  I fed them once, but they were still begging, so I fed them again.  Happy cats means happy poppa.  They are sleeping off their big meal, if Sassy does so on the back of my office chair.  If I sit back, she will snuggle.  Sam has been by, but I didn't let her up.  I'm... just... I'm wearing shorts and she can be... indelicate with her claws on my legs.  And she means it.  I'm too tired tonight to mess with a fussy puss.

The house is partly open, cooling rather quickly.  Very strange.  Oh, I turned off the fan, and this front room is up to 70.  But the rest of the house is around 66, while outside was down to 55.  Blood pressure is 153/97 pulse 77 and blood sugar is 95 as a final read today.  I keep hoping bp would drop some, but it seems stuck there, after going on two months of medicine.  Blood sugar is... doing better.  Still sketchy, in drops, rises, and general bumps and hiccups.  But... generally going in the right direction.  I ate very wrong today, so... yeah.  Shouldn't, but made it through without but 20 cc's of insulin for the day... slow acting soon, but I take that every night... 25 cc's is what we generally agreed upon, I do believe.  It's... what I am taking anyway.  Ugh.

I should sleep like a baby, when I can sleep.  Still cooling off.  Maybe a shower?  Yes, that would be nice... if I can bench press my butt off the chair and into the powder room... the... other powder room.  The one you can't reload in.  I might be able to.  A shower might help with the feet, ribs, neck and shoulders too.  Tylenol might help me get in there as well.  Ugh.  Yes, tylenol, and hopefully a shower in an half hour.

Good night, sleep well, sweet dreams, and all... that... jazz.

Probably a bit much.

.

.

In one way.  Not enough in another.  Branches were piled, but in piles of piles.  That will work.  But they are still here.  And a place was found, then rejected, at which to install a post for the hammock.  It looked good earlier, but there is too much sun on it in the early afternoon on.  The place, even with a shielding cover, would be blazing hot until well after sundown.  So I will bit looking over other possible sites for the post.

I have two sites as possibles.  It will come down to which one gets the least sun during the earlier part of the day.  As, by afternoon, they are both in solid shadow.  The less sun, the more I can keep my hammock up and out.  And, on days when it is hot in the house, I can just go sleep on the hammock?  Maybe.  It's in the back yard, and will be mostly shielded from the road, so...

As well, I picked up quikcrete, or such, a few cinder blocks, and a few waterers.  All they had was the large ones.  That will just have to do.  A few more.  I didn't grab all they had, just four more.  The big ones will really stretch even the two duo cages I currently have.  Bits and pieces, here and there.  They don't know when they will get more, or what they will be getting.  Bleh.  I'll have to check for waterers every time I go in, and try to get in a couple times a month, if possible.

A bit more, but... yeah.  Absolutely exhausted.  I did remember to take morning pills  this morning, and just took night pills.  I'll need something to eat, and fast acting insulin soon.  Then slow acting before bedtime.  Hopefully another shower.  I'm soaked in sweat and dust from that little bit.

I have enough quikcrete to redo the clothes line poles too, and some gravel for down below for all the posts, and extra to just have around.  I thought about checking for tar, to fix a dip in the drive... a couple buckets would be my guess... at least for a start, but enough was enough.  And I'm running out of money.  Next month.

My feet are killing me, ribs, and some other things.  Oddly, not my back.  Sleeping on the floor really is a good thing.  I know it seems crazy, and I had to fight it for four months.  But now that I do it and comfortably, my back almost never aches, even when I push it.  I have to twist it, or sprain it, or such, for it to hurt.  Ribs?  A whole other thing, if that is just from being out of shape, I think.  Another strange thing is my muscles don't hurt.  I am tired, but just... as it should be.  Then again, we will see tomorrow.

No one can say I don't give it 100%, and then go even beyond somehow... when I can.  Too bad (s)he won't live.  But then again who does.  Well past my retirement age.  Can't say we didn't try.  Hell of a world.  Live and learn, then die.  If you can... any of those.  Amen.  

Up late.

.

.

Had to take a shower.  Just... couldn't get to it earlier.  My hair is almost dry though, so... it's nearing bedtime.  A blood sugar check, 93, I think that is good enough.  I am not used to having it below 100, really 130.  So... I am in uncharted territory.  The 60, of yesterday, was way too low to go to sleep with.  Or, that is what I believe.

Ten or fifteen more minutes, and I should be able to go on to bed.  The house is partly open, and yet it is 70 in here.  Last I looked, it was 58 outside.  Rather... warm.  But it's the time of year, past the time of year, when weather shouldn't be as variable as the earth warms and mostly becomes stable at warmer temperatures... saving a weather front or other anomaly.

Showers truly are lovely things.  They go back to the Romans, if only the absolute wealthiest could afford some form of lessor plumbed homes.  And heating that water was whole other trick and expense.  We live as nobles, royals even, through most of history could never understand.  A shower, or bath, with heated water, at our whim, is just a small part of it even then.  Imagine if you told the first Marathon'er that you could do that in a few minutes.  While seated.  With air conditioning.  You'd have to explain ac.  Well, before he died of exhaustion.

Almost bedtime.  I won't, probably, be up by 05:00, but I will set the alarm for just a bit later.  Try to get a shower before help arrives.  Then have some time to wake on the machine.  The small limbs, a constructed brace for the hammock, and a short trip to pick up more waterers.  I have almost enough for two per cage.  I'd like to get closer to three, but half this month, half next?  Maybe.  Unless I have enough cash for on me.  If I could get a third batch, I will.  Perhaps look at dorm refrigerators while in town.  To keep the waterers cool, for a late morning or early afternoon refreshment.  I might even keep my kefir in there, perhaps?  Though I am as likely to find a diminished stock as I am anything else.  Finding many in stock is a rare thing, usually just a few.  Of course, I could ask about restocks, and try to be in when they do so.

Good night.  Prayers, for probably all of you, if some of you more personally.  You know who you are.  Good night and sweet dreams.

A few things, if by surprise.

.

.

Plans for tomorrow are set.  Chores were done, and again again.  A shower is rather needed, will be had.  The house has been being aired out, and lights!

The upstairs, I had problems with lights.  I had checked power, and tinkered.  I hadn't, however, followed all the way to the switch.  Yep, it was the switch.  The lights work fine.  Now I have three lights up there.  Very nice.  I still have two lamps up there, good for project lights.  It is much better to have working overhead lights.  These don't get hot, either.  They are low wattage gas tube lights, but short ones.

As well, tomorrow, branches will be removed.  I can do the logs, as I can do those over time.  But the smaller branches, I'd like to get gathered and gone.  They have a wood collection place in town for those.  As well, I am hoping to get a section of reinforcement in the nearest outbuilding, by which I can string up a hammock to the nearest evergreen trunk.  For day or even night naps, outside, when it is cooler to do so.  Hopefully I can keep the birds and sich out.  I'll... figure that out over time.  I'd really like to begin experimenting with cold camping out there, in the winter, too.

Plus, maybe a trip to town.  Mostly just in search of a few more waterers.  Not a lot.  I don't have a lot of coin.  Just... hmmm?  I best count how many I have now.  Though, the big ones will last three days even for the last duo caged together.  The middle ones (for the singles) seem to last between two and three days.  Even the little ones last, pretty much, two days.

I noticed the rabbits don't eat or drink (mostly) a quarter of what they did when in groups.  I think they competed for space, food, and water.  As well, the stress was a bit much.  They are still stressed, this time from separation.  But I am hoping, over time, this will ease.  Especially with personal attention.  Though, maybe, it is too late.  I will work on it anyway.  And, as I turn the group over, with replacements, this method will make life better for all.  Live and learn.

The birds got another shot of food and water.  They are letting me approach a bit closer each day.  As I speak with them, sit with them, and they see who it is whom feeds them, they... relax a bit.  As well, when I am sitting out there, they approach, to inspect, mock, or just view, a bit closer over time.  Learning to live with animals takes time.

I called the woman I bought them from tonight.  I am hoping to get her to visit.  As well as buying turkey chicks, I am hoping to also buy a few more muscovy hens.  Plus, I am hoping her and hubby might visit, to check the sexes of the rabbits, and show me more exactly how to check.  I really can't tell the difference.  I'm not being fussy about it, it... I... they... all... their sex parts... all look the same to me!  Gah!  Why more hens?  With two down with the broodiness, that doesn't leave many for the guys to... have around.  Yeah, they do need companionship.  Anyway...

So the world turns.  Nothing fancy.  Not much done.  A shower and supper soon.  Blood sugar was really high this morning, at 188 fasting.  At the 60 of last night, I ate brats and two cans of beans.  Okay, overdid.  But... I wasn't willing to go to bed with a 60 blood sugar.  But I didn't want to take sugar tabs.  So...  Next time?  One can of beans.  It's carby, but not sugary.  I... want to try a food version of blood sugar drop control.  But it is difficult, because when in the drop, even cooking can be tricky.  Last night was easier, but it isn't always the case.

But, the last blood draw was 92 a few hours after my last meal.  I did use a tiny dot dose after the first kefir meal, but not with the next.  Testing a few hours ago at that.  Something for supper, but what?  I'll... scrounge around.  Gotta be something.  I am not really hungry, but I am sure blood sugar is dropping.  Not plunging, perhaps, but... getting on the border.  I'll do a blood test before I eat?  Or a few hours after?  I don't know.  

BP is staying a middling high, in the 150's over ~100.  Pulse is better, and slowing.  I will just have to call doc Monday, and have him start the extra pill.  Yes, it worries me.  These pills can absolutely wreck me.  Still, I've gotten to the point of some trust.  So, yeah, I'll do it.  Give it my best shot.

Later.  Or good night.

I love making women cry.

.

.

Scored a big one this afternoon.  My mom!

She called, to let me know the rasp and file for the feet had arrived.  She hasn't used them yet, but will be trying them tonight, perhaps.  She... seemed to be testing other things.  Something on her mind.  I could tell, if not quite exactly, immediately, what.  Closer and closer.  Afraid to ask?  Afraid of the answer.  I know that.

Finally.

If this or that, can I come live with you?  I could hear her voice.  She was strong, at first.  I told her my home is a mess.  She said we could work with that.  Then I said, my brother and myself had discussed this.  And, I had said no.  But that I have changed my mind.  That as long as I have a home, she has a home.

I would turn the upstairs into my world, and help as was possible with what she has.  I love to cook, and she does when she can.  There will be problems, if she does move out, but... such is life.  She was having trouble talking coherently, or at least through the tears.  TAKE THAT, MOM!  :p

Poor girl, she... was afraid.  Like I said, she did this for her father.  It might not be permanent, depending on her ability to function.  But I'll do my best.  It's all I've ever been able to do.  She can even set some house rules, regarding picking up and such.  But I am definitely going to figure out a dishwasher if she ends up here, and hopefully a new refrigerator.

Not that it will, necessarily, happen.  But it might.  Just... it had already been decided.  The my mind was changed.  As she was thanking me and hanging up, I thanked her for my life.  It wasn't perfect, it is what she had to offer.  She gave what she had, could.  And... didn't do terribly.  I've lived through death some number of times.  She played some part in that.  For good or ill?  Life is... a good.  Later.

Well, there was a plan.

.

.

The plan was to allow a long waking time.  First online, waking to news, views, and comments... mostly read.  Then on to gaming.  I wanted another run at a slightly different ending.  They keep doing the multiple ending scenario.  Like it, hate it, it's what is.  I have tried two endings.  Not sure how many there were.  So far, no real surprises.  Not... necessarily a bad thing.  Even in the real world, there are no surprises.  Only when and if we are aware it is happening, to be honest... at least of flesh.  If only fools seek to believe there is nothing after, after so many have told differently.  Then again, until I saw, I was more among them than not.

Storm?  A thunderstorm even.  Not much lightning, but the sound rumbled through.  More a mist, so far.  Perhaps no rain will actually fall, or for those who like to equivocate, only a negligible amount.  Who can ever tell though.  I don't think the weather is doing more than cooling due to a resting sun.  But what weather there is, is shifting due to the changes in where and how much manufacturing.  Still, it is what it is.  No summer again this year?  If it's happening on all of our sister planets, which it is, you can... expect it here.  The question is, how severely and for how long?

The plan was to wake, leisurely, then begin working on branches.  And do a bit with cages.  Maybe later?  Maybe.  Depends on rain.  The thing is, I was going to do it just as the weather became abundantly apparent.  There is always later, and tomorrow.

Okay... rain.  Definitely rain.  How much and long is another thing.  Still, it's quite nice.  Dark, cooling, but a fine spring thing.  I ought to go stand in it for just a bit.  After I finish, if it continues.  Yeah, I really just might take my coat off, and stand in the rain.  Amen.  (done!  Just a bit, it was very cold rain.)

Hmm... I did get the chores finished.  No rush, these days.  I don't actually need to fill anything.  Waterers last for days, as does food.  If that isn't the point.  I am talking and petting the rabbits, trying to become a sort of friend.  As well, I chatter with the ducks.  They have no idea what I am saying, but they feel like they are real to me.

Oh, best get something to eat.  Another cup of kefir, and... something else?  I may have something out there, easy to eat?  Maybe.  Good afternoon, day, and life.

A late start.

.

.

I went to bed very late.  I got stuck in the game.  After months of prep, on various save streams in the game, I was close enough to finally get one 'toon through.  So... I did.  But once started, I couldn't just stop.  And, then, the game kept going on, and on, and on.  Didn't... wasn't... as satisfied as I should have been.  Though I didn't get the ending I preferred.  Still, I got AN ending.

I have saves from back when, so I can make a few... different choices.  All good.  I may do those today, or through the week.  One a day.  It takes hours more than I thought it would.  Fine.  I know now.  I'll plan accordingly.  I DID remember to get all medicine in, had to nearly crawl downstairs, after I was pretty much in bed, to get the last of the pill medicines.  And I think the slow acting insulin.

Ugh.  But sleep was very good.  I woke thinking I was in France, for some reason... or somewhere in Europe, England, Scotland.  Not sure why.  I wasn't overly impressed by those places.  Just... cesspools of toxic industry, mean streets, or the very wealthy who care only for their gold and sex drives, while trying to prove that isn't the case.  Same everywhere.  Nothing more to see their than here, only slightly more dangerous... at the time... because their belief in rule of law is only equivalent to these times right now in the US.  Now it doesn't matter where you live.  But they still have more muslims and no real law action against them.  If the US has handed Minneapolis, and who knows where else, to muslims... Jersey?  Not sure.

It is overcast and about 55 outside, 65 inside, having had the windows open all night, downstairs and up.  It could rain.  It wouldn't be a bad thing.  Or it might all just blow over, never can quite tell.  Ducks were fed.  Not quite ready to begin checks on the rabbits.  Each time I visit the rabbits, though, from now on... I will pet them just a bit, talk to them, and in a week, probably begin hold them.  Which... I'll wear a jacket and welding gloves... the long ones... to do.  I still have scratch scars from the first time I tried to just move a rabbit without protecting.  I actually had a long sleeved thick shirt and gloves on, but that space that could be between?  Right, ripped and torn.  And that was... right after I first got them... which is why I didn't interact with them much for... well... until recently.

It is a good day, even so.  I hope to get out, do some work, enjoying it while I can.  I can't absolutely say.  But I... don't think, once we leave, save a few non-human types (which... who can ever know)... when we go?  I don't think we will see an earth like this one every again.  An earth, yes, but a new one.  I want to... know  this one.  Like knowing one's parents, even as one moves on hopefully, say, to be one, or be one's own person.  Imperfect, old, odd, funky smells...  :p  But... family.  Perhaps to be lost.  Even if to a more perfect world?  That is the suggestion.

As to pain?  All slight, or under some sort of control.  I woke with a few things, a really solid headache, ribs, that shoulder, and some internal fuss.  All have dissipated like morning fog on a sunny day.  The only thing remaining are the tops of my feet.  Not sure why, but that has been and remains a problem.  At least it isn't, usually, the tops and bottoms of my feet currently.  Wobbling around sucks.

On to waking, then more waking.  A shower, soon, and shave?  I hope.  Then a bit of work out there.  At least finishing chores.  Later.

Almost spooky.

.

.

Had a very keto day, and a very light food day.  Two larger kefir meals, then a slightly carby supper.  Feeling fine.  Waited two hours after supper to test.  At 60 blood sugar should have sounded alarms?  But, no.  Feeling very good.  Still, a cup of fruit, but... probably a bit more.  I'm not sure what, yet.  I have to get carbs in.  If the beats are still good, I may cook those.  Got fresh some time back.

About to open the cave, let some air in.  It's reading 74 in this front room, but in the summer, this room is a heat collector.  Almost, one might say, a sun room.  A bit more, of something, to eat.  Then a shower maybe.  Then on to bed as soon as possible.  Opening up the cave, in whole at least until bedtime, should help.

Later?  Probably good night.

Oh, a few things anyway.

.

.

Did I mention that it started at 32 this morning?  It got up to 74 this afternoon.  That's a forty two degree rise.  And, it was very nice out there.  I have been out half a dozen times.  Sitting with Sam, walking around the yard, doing a bit more with the rabbits, and sitting and watching the ducks.

As well, I have started trying to become personal to the rabbits, so I can check and manage them... without fear.  Putting your hand in with three or four rabbits is... actually daunting.  But putting your hand in with just one rabbit is much more manageable.

And, so, it has been.  Twice, or three times, while out checking on food and water, I have spent some time petting each animal.  Speaking with it.  Petting it until it stops trying to escape.  Just a start.  In time, I will begin holding each animal, as a start.  Then to begin checking them over for health problems.

They just won't breed, currently.  I am hoping, with their own cages, in time, with some familiarization, they will get things sorted.  I'm... just learning by learning here.  Watching all the vids on yt won't help.  I thought I had asked enough questions, but haven't.  Ugh.  I am trying to fix my mess and start over.  I have one more idea... will... let you know sooner or later.

I wasn't able to do as much as hoped, but it wasn't all bad.  Not at all.  The nap helped.  But until it warmed, I was pretty shot.  Funny thing is?  I remember when, even here, I couldn't handle 74 degrees.  It took me weeks to acclimate.  Here, we are going from the 40's to 60's to the mid 70's and I'm doing fine... so far.  The 80's and 90's will be arriving soon.  But I was able to handle those, if doing less.  If day and night will swing.  I'm doing rather good with keeping a day schedule.  Not sure if today was an outlier or if I might be able to refresh the day cycle, for a while.

A very good day.  And almost no conscious pain.  Mostly.  But a lot of pain 'back there', in the back of my mind, sandbagging me a goodly bit.  But that warmth, that really helped.  A shower and shave today, yet?  I... maybe.  And maybe sweeping and clearing the bathroom?  Maybe.  Do that first, if I do it.  I will probably open the house up tonight.  I don't think it will get that cold again tonight, and it wasn't bad in here anyway.  Later.

A rather short nap.

.

.

I woke a goodly bit ago.  Just reviewing online sites since.  I doubt if I was down two hours.  A very good nap.  I haven't checked outdoors since.  Perhaps the birds are hungry now?  Maybe.  I'll open their food back up.  Why open and close it?  Birds.  Lbb's and bbb's (little and big brown/black birds) not of the duck varietal will eat that food gone in hours.  Ducks have as much defense of food notion as they have a 'look both ways before crossing' notion.  Though, after seeing two die, they... tend to not play in the road anymore?  I think.

I will also take rabbit food out, and check all of them, even in the outbuilding.  But... a jacket.  It just doesn't feel as if it has warmed much out there.  Fair enough.  Though I am sure they don't need food, or water, it... isn't about that.  It's a matter of checking on all the critters, every day.  

Hmm... I wonder if I could take one more rabbit out, which would allow me to have all but one pair of rabbits in a singles cage.  That's going to happen soon.  Maybe yet today.  All I need is a higher bracket/shelf for the other cage group.  It has food trays already, and feet mats.  Actually, I do need waterers.  Ugh...  Though, perhaps, if I count, I might have enough?  

Well, enough for each?  Or enough for two days?  Then again, the bigger ones, one a singles cage, would last... days.  Even the medium ones last at least two days.  Heck, even the little ones last more than a day.  Though, with hot weather possible at any moment (if I have doubts about it to a degree), they may well go through water like at a barn fire.  I... should consider how many I have and such though.  I need more medium and small.  As for a mister?  Outside, I can use the sprinkler from time to time.  Just for a short bit?  But the shock?  Dunno.  Ice bottles, of course.  Bleh.  Live, learn, and expect casualties.  Such, really, is life.

Later.

The cold really gets to me.

.

.

I went out, a bit after dawn, to open feed to the birds.  First, they weren't interested.  Second?  Brrr!  So I headed to check the temp.  It was 32 again this morning.  This side of freezing, there wasn't even a thin sheet of ice on a smaller dishpan of water I have out for Sam... if the ducks clean their dirty beaks in it.  Bleh.

I had turned the furnace up, and closed the one window I had left open.  It was 64~66 in here.  Just too cool, but not bad given there had been a window open and the furnace was off, plus now knowing it was 32 out there.  Ugh.  It's difficult to believe it is 32 nearly halfway  through May.

I checked the waterers and food for the rabbits while out there, shivering.  Yes, I've been out, barefooted, doing chores at 0 F, but that's not every day.  Anyway...  A few waterers had to be changed.  But they have been there a day.  And all the food was good.  The thing about having a single rabbit per cage is, it looks like they eat a lot less?  Odd, but it seems so.

I am not sure the rabbits are which sex, though.  She had sexed them, but when they were young.  I'm not very good at that.  I'm not sure, actually, which is which.  I am really not sure she did them right.  You would think kits would have happened, but, if it's too stressful... a female in with several males, or a mix, maybe not?  I've got to figure that out.  I may have to ask her to show me, I'll do my best, but...

I'll tell you, raising animals you learn some dark truths.  I know some, from a more human perspective.  But it is darker still in the animal kingdom.  One thing I am mostly sure about is, that while males are brutal in their pecking order thing, females are absolutely murderously vicious.  I am amazed at how harsh the females are, to each other, and to some males.  The strongest female becomes a bull dyke cannibal.  Yea.  Though ducks kill their own with abandon as well.  The animal kingdom, domestic or wild, is absolutely brutal.  I'm... fixing some of that.  Live and learn.

So cold!  Just get out there, and doing a little, sapped every ounce of momentum I had going.  I may go on back and nap just a bit.  Brutal, hard, cold, for this time of year.  More so after reaching 60 yesterday.  Such large drops.  Well, good morning, and day.  Have a good one.  Later.

Unbelievable.

.

.

No shower, or other efforts, after that last post.  I started, at first I thought, getting very tired.  It was suspicious, though.  Something... different.  Ah.  Blood sugar was crashing, on top of becoming tired.  A very good thing I caught it... which is part of why I was awake until 23:00... trying to sort that out.

I ended up eating three rolls of carb tabs!  Which, of course, I knew would blow both keto and the blood draw this morning.  But I had no choice.  I didn't just glom them down.  I at three or four at a time, every ten minutes to quarter hour or so.  It... was terrifying.  That is  looking into the mouth of death.  Like being swallowed whole, into a vortex.  Just staying awake to take more tabs, to keep out of the maw of that was a true test.

Oh, and I just tested.  Must have needed it.  Blood sugar is the lowest fasting I have had since last time I was stably on insulin (if cutting by then).  Blood sugar is 122 fasting!  Yes, I can... imagine what would have happened if I hadn't eaten thirty glucose tabs.  Wow.  Still, carb tabs aren't a good control mechanism.  But I DID eat, even some heavy carbs... though not much.  But I CAN'T eat...  I just... wasn't hungry.  Bleh.

I went down, as written, actually exactly at 23:22... after spending fifteen minutes upstairs eating the last roll of tabs, give or take.  I set the alarms, now later because... I am slowly losing my day, to 07:00 and 09:00.  But, for whatever reason, I woke at just at 05:00, small change before, actually.

I... checked everything.  Tired?  No, rested.  In pain?  Other than a slight ache in the left shoulder again, no.  Well, and ribs, and a few other places, if those are mostly just under the radar, I have to sense, then focus.  So, really, no.  So... what could be wrong?  Or right?  I didn't know, but... felt like it was time to get up.

A few minor tasks, and bathroom duties, and I was on here in twenty minutes.  Even cleaned cat litter before else.  The nice thing about being up early is, by the time I wake, the sun is just coming up.  I have the whole day to... do stuff.  I might not get much done, but the potential is very good.  I... hope to do some more work today, out there.  Maybe in here.  As much as possible.  Later.

A bit more rabbit work.

.

.

Three rabbits out to the outbuilding.  One of the two remaining larger females separated.  And I moved the large quad cage I will be putting the gents into, and did some checking.  It looks like it has mats in each, for their feet.  And feeders.  The remaining bits are got get more small waterers, and attach hay mangers. then set the thing up, but higher than originally set up.  There is a shelf outline, but I want this group up much higher, so I don't have to stoop to feed, and shoveling their poo will be easier.

The ducks have been having a good day.  I am learning to listen.  When they gaggle, or quack, depending on how one would denote the sound they make, it isn't because they are fighting, it is because they are hungry.  Especially the brooding hens.  The others can eat more generally.  The others can only leave their nests from time to time.  When they do, they are loud and angry, and hungry.

I don't think it is always the girls.  Sometimes it is Henry, chasing one around trying to get some action.  He needs a few more hens.  And I need a few more hens of the other sort.  Too many males.  Two or three more hens of each type would be good.  I think so.

Not a lot of work, but some.  And getting outdoors.  It really was a nice day.  I have yet to take a shower.  Bleh, I'll have to air dry after.  Could try the hair blow dryer though.  I wonder if that is hard on hair?  Paranoid?  I suppose.  As well, I don't always like new things.

All medicines are in, including slow acting insulin.  A dose of fast acting with supper... fried burger, cheese, and the remainder of the instant mashed potatoes.  Less than half a cup, if I had to call it.  Not bad, a form of beef shepherd pie.  I should have added a can of peas to the lot.  Still, not bad.  And I only ate two thirds of my portion.  Just... not all that hungry.  Oh, I best put the cooked burger up.  That will go good, warmed, with salad.  And I would like to, finally, try some "keto" tortillas.  As well, I may make an egg casserole.  If I could get dishes and the kitchen in order, and keep it so.  Ugh...

A lot of visitors, or a few looking over many specific posts.  I can't tell.  It looks like many, by the sources, formats used, and such.  Though I can never be sure.

It was a nice day.  Still a bit cool, but... good.  It is a pleasant night.  I think I may make it to bed early.  Earlier by far.  Maybe.  I best get a shower taken, then dry off, or time will skip and it'll be after midnight again.  Good night.

Okay, well, a few things.

.

.

Two of the does are out in cages in the outbuilding.  One of the big does had to be put down, her feet were messed up.  There are cards in there, but... I just don't know.  And one of the little does was being picked on by her most aggressive cagemate.  I am separating late.  Should have done so some time back.  I do what I can.

So, for the moment, all but two of the minis are in their own cages.  And, tomorrow, I am hoping to move two more out, then move two of the bigger rabbits into their own cages.  Maybe three.  It is nearly 70 out there, but a cool 70.  So I have the house open.  It is 67 in the front room, with the door open and windows.  Cooler in the rest of the house.  I will probably leave everything open tonight, unless clouds jump out of nowhere.

Feeling slightly betterer.  Yes, there is no such word.  Sue me.  Still some conscious pain, but much more mild and in only two places.  Tired still, very tired.  I am hoping that will get me to bed earlier tonight.  I would like to get another shower in.  Maybe a shave, just... to clean it up.  Sometimes shaving back to back beats it backs for weeks, sometimes it drives growth... never can tell.  Though I suspect, finally, that shaving has nothing to do with growth.  I am guessing that is a health, vitamin, and mineral thing... or some... other biomechanical algorithm.  It's inconsistent with me, same with finger and toe nail and hair growth.

Blood sugar is 111 currently, after one meal and a dose of insulin.  And today is one month and two weeks on medicine.  I have taken late doses about four times, and missed a whole day in there.  Not bad.  It is beating the heck out of me, but the cool weather hasn't been helping.  Still, it's... been a nice spring.  If sleep is your thing.  I try to escape sleep the way a baby tries to escape it's mother's grasp... not always for the better, but... there it is.  Until, of course, both fall asleep where they are.  *grins*  Such is life.

Supper?  Dunno.  Just not hungry.  Anything else today?  Sweeping the bathroom, clearing things out again, more.  A shower and maybe a shave.  And something to eat... Oh!  Eggs and bacon.  Yes, that would do.  Not too much, perfectly keto, and easy enough if I can stand for a bit.  I think I can, finally.  Later.

A bit better.

.

.

Tylenol seemed to have worked.  I turned the heat up, for a while.  But it was nearing 65 last time I was out, so I turned the heat back down to 66.  Which means it won't run.  Chores are done.  Have been done for a bit.  I would like to do more, and might, but not quite yet.  I still have a headache, and some neck pain.  But the rest is back behind conscious sensation.  It's still there, just not doing more than weighing me down.  Tired.  Sleepy even.  Might nap.  But I would rather trying to push through and go to bed earlier tonight.

Now that I am tending my teeth much better and more frequently, as I ran out of mouth wash, I went looking for more.  I keep it in a place I know, and there should have been three or four more bottles.  I keep... well stocked, especially in regular items.  Nope.  Only one remained.  I checked my toothpaste while I was at it.  Oddly, they didn't steal any of that.  I have... five to seven tubes.  As I said, I keep stocked.  Strange, not sure why they would steal the mouthwash, but not the toothpaste.  Tards, maybe they drink it?  I got more in today.  I think they are using what I have out, though.  I have everything pretty locked up, not sure how they get in.

I may order food, for pickup.  It would be a few days out, usually, before there is room in the queue.  Just a few things.  Romaine lettuce, veggie packs, bratwursts, maybe look at the meats, see if anything is priced well.  Not much, keep it below fifty... a hundred these days?  Something.  Later.

Morning agony.

.

.

Brutal.  No reason for it.  Hips, to the vertebrae roughly at their height, and down... kidneys and various internals, some of it as bloat... the heart is sore... then the neck, about midway on up plus a headache from it.  All about a five to six.  So, nowhere near the worst.  But nothing like the painfree days I have been mostly knowing.  There are odd things, too, like my right elbow as if twisted, and my left shoulder.  But... why?  I slept fairly reasonably.

Tylenol, first thing.  I am so used to painlessness from the last few weeks... partly numbed by acclimating to medicine?  This pain is almost unbearable.  So much better when I just... am used to it.  Remember when I wrote, if God hadn't called, and I found my way to Him, I would have kept trying to commit suicide?  This is why.  And, it can get much worse.  Much much worse.  But this is tight, this is hard, solid, as beautiful as pain gets.  Not quite exquisite, but... beautiful.  It takes great familiarity with pain to label it as those things.

Still, I... have things to do, if possible.  In time.  On the good side, at around 10:30, it is nearly 60 outside.  There is a reasonable chance it will be warm enough to sort a few things out, if I can stand for long.  I'll give it a shot.  Rabbits, I'm telling you.  Cages set up, rabbits bread and moved... I think so.  And, if more is possible, branches moved and stacked, sorted and gotten ready for this or that.  It is a pretty day.  A good day, if possible, to be out there.

Blood sugar is 155 fasting.  Not perfect, but certainly in the declining right direction.  Sure beats the other day... yesterday or the day before... of 192... an outlier I hope.  I was a bit worried about whether the potatoes would mess with blood sugar.  I kept that dosage small, and had it with plenty of butter, as well as chicken and cabbage stew, mostly drained.  Plus, I think that was it for carbs yesterday, so... yea.

I'll get to chores in an hour or two, or so, when I can walk, or anyway.  I'll test my bp in an half hour... I like to wait a bit after medicine.  Hopefully, then, I'll game a bit after chores, as a break, then get on back out to the cages and else.  I am hoping.  If you can't beat the pain, might as well join it.  *rictus grin*  Later.

Not much today.

.

.

A good day of rest, in spite of needing to get out and not doing so.  The girls are good, the birds are good, the bunnies are good.  Not a bad day.  Pain began setting in toward early to mid afternoon, and remains.  Or, more, overflowed from that which could be kept from surfacing, to an overflow.  Ribs, a should blade, innards generally, stiff neck and shoulders, and the beginning of a headache.  Nothing serious, just enough to remember.

I had a bit more for supper.  Including fake mashed potatoes.  Not the best, carbwise, but I had to eat, and a bit more than I have been or could otherwise.  So it went.  Those are so easy to make.  Two cups, for the smaller packets, of boiling water, turn that off, add the packet, and stir.  Chicken soup on top, plus butter.  Not perfect, but it was satisfying and warming.

On to bed, I guess.  Sleep well, dream well, and go with God.

Nothing much, but a few things.

.

.

Even with the thermostat set at 74, I am cool in here.  The weather has passed, at least for the day.  The temp is 53~55 out there.  Sam has been out, enjoying what is passing for warm weather.  I have been joining her, feeding her, getting her water and treats too.  As much to check on her, and the weather, as to... try to do something!  And... it was something.

The V.A. called back.  A new date has been set.  Very good.  I... was off to the races.  Normally I would have been done and out in half an hour.  I don't quite understand what took so long.  Next time I will be ready to run and jump if otherwise running late.  Showering the night before, in case I am moving to slow for on the day of, shaved and otherwise ready.  Loaded it into my phone.  And mind, more, this time.

The cats, ducks, and rabbits have been being checked, fed, watered, and tended through the day.  As well, I realize something.  For all my fretting about how to get the ducks set up, with a bit of risk taking, as to brooding, they have sorted it themselves.  Actually, I have three hens... two of the muscovy and one of the indian runners... setting clutches.  Not sure how many will hatch, or how many will survive the gauntlet that will ensue.  Can only hope.  Such is life.  But that is going.  I'll also need to get chick feed, and some way to water them.  I'll see what duck chicks need... ducklings?  Whatever.

As well, I checked up on my mother.  It's really rough.  Not only in recovery, but also without her friend.  She got him later in life, his life.  I wasn't sure she should.  But she had a puppy too, so, I thought it would work out.  The pup bit a tire, on a moving vehicle.  But this one has been with her ten years or more?  Older?  He was probably five to seven when she got him.  So... yeah...  He did well for her.  Considering all, both of them were lucky... which happens to be his name.

She is doing better, for all.  But still sore.  She didn't know why areas under her skin, between muscle and bone burned.  That I know.  Pulled, ripped really.  Healing.  She thought, maybe, taking hot showers was hurting it.  I told her no.  It would only burn the skin, it wouldn't get in like that.  Ice and heat... she... you can't tell her otherwise.  It's what she knows and does, so... okay.  

I'll check up on her ever few days.  Not for my sake.  I'm pretty sure she will be fine.  Company, even if on the phone, will help.  I may try to talk her into another dog.  Though, might be too soon.  And, maybe, she is done with animal friends.  It's intensely personal, and difficult as we age, for many reasons.

More snacks than meals, today.  Which is fine.  I just had a few pieces of cheese and some meat sticks.  Oh, the other day, I offered the mouse, Charles or Charlene if he isn't, a small corner of cheese.  It was huge to him.  Wow are those little critters strong.  He yanked the cheese out of my grip!  I had to laugh.  I may end up figuring out a cage for him.  I am trying to get him used to being touched, petted lightly.  It may not be possible.  And one of the girls may end up eating him.  Though, I think with Sam, she no longer has the heart to kill.  She misses her kits something awful... it's changed her, their haunting and her age.  Sassy?  Maybe.  She likes watching it, but hasn't gotten it yet.  I am hoping to find a little cage and get it set up.  That or death is the price for intrusion.

Later.

Rather cool out there still.

.

.

It was 52, last I checked.  It doesn't seem to be budging, but it might.  That makes moving, let alone quickly, difficult.  To be honest, I want to go on back to bed.  If I do that, daytime will be lost to me.  It will probably happen shortly anyway.  I will push to hold on as long as I can.  Grown ups table and such.

Lunch wasn't fancy, but I enjoyed it.  Four slices of munster cheese, two brats... previously grilled... warmed, and a couple of cups of kefir.  Like I said, nothing fancy.  But, to me, a rather good meal.  Oh, and a dose of insulin.  Perrier for several hours, and I'll check blood sugar again.

I had hoped to get out, in spite of being late.  Doesn't look like that will happen.  Just too tired.  Oh, no, I did turn the furnace up, to 74 even.  It just... I... so tired.  Pain, but under the feeling threshold.  It just weighs on me.  Along with the cold, it all just thrashes me.  A good day for prayers though!  There are so many to pray for, never too many.  Then again, to pray for the ill as well as the healthy... that they act within their health... to pray for the old, as well as the young, and that both may find a way to work together... to pray for each in their way, even the enemy I may end up killing.  Especially that one?  I think so.  I did back when that was a possibility.  Amen.

Well, on to gaming then.  Perhaps I will be able to sort some things out, in it or through it.  The girls are happy with clean litter and spot on food today.  If I can sort my life a bit, and it warms or I can warm in spite of the cool, I would like to do more cage work.  I think the rabbits are quite happy with the weather.  Far from cold, but not hot either.

Blessings.  Have a good day.  Later.

Ugh!

.

.

An appointment today.  No, I knew it.  Moving slow, but that is usual.  I started getting clothes ready, a trim, then into the shower... starting things at around 10:20?  Or so.  Those things done, a shave, brushing teeth, and?  It was already noon!  I need to be out at least an half hour before, better an hour... never know how traffic will be in SLC.

So, I called.  I was hoping to make it a bit later, or at least reset.  No one answered.  It's a small unit, they do their own scheduling, probably out to lunch.  Fair enough.  Still, if I don't hear anything by 14:00, I'll call again.  It would be good to see how things are going.  I might be rather well, or not.

On  the good side, I am clean, shaven, and dressed like a human, and adult.  I have been keeping my teeth brushed, save for rare misses, and three times a day.  I can probably ease that back to twice a day.  Though, morning and night?  It would have to be.  Morning breath, even as much as I have begun tending, is... well...  And, if I don't brush at night, morning breath is even worse.  An ogre thing, or does everybody have that?

Still, I gave it a go.  Not sure what went wrong.  Moving slower than even I thought.  On the good side, cats, birds, and rabbits are all fed.  Litter was even changed out, whole, then taken right on out to the trash.  And, I will be calling to see about turkeys soon.  Two, for this fall...  Yum!  Now that I have making stock down, not a bit of it will go to waste.  Turkey stock... my last woman made some of that.  I didn't... appreciate such back then.  She was trouble, they all are, but she did try, work, do things I didn't fully understand then.  But... it was she who decided not to marry, if possibly rightly... certainly at that time?  Or she was just being a neurotic, melodramatic, twit?  In any case, I... have learned, some things, since then.  Last I heard, she has too.  Odd, how that goes.

Hmm?  Well?  I don't know.  Still... slogging.  Slow.  Almost a painful day.  Well, it is, but the pain is well shielded.  It is under my sensory threshold, but... there nonetheless.  I don't know what I will, or can, do.  But I will try to do somethings.  At least, if nothing else, get out and sit out there... if it warms enough.  It was quite chill this morning.  Later.

Down late, again.

.

.

Up late, as well.  Still, I got the critters fed right away.  Watered.  I have to reset all the waterers, as I haven't been doing extremely well lately.  Still, every day is another opportunity.  I also got litter, and got that out, this morning.  Refreshed, the girls should be happy.  It... was forgotten, for a while.

A shower in a bit.  Having everything, chore-wise, done early leaves the slate clear.  But that beckons rather than represses the urge to more.  Having to work, just to get to work, and that dragging on, is more of a hinderance than anything else.  Procrastination, when the actions are wrong, can be good.  Most often, procrastination is negative and self multiplying.  Not today.

I am hoping, after this, to trim whiskers, shower, maybe shave.  Then get waterers all set up.  Though letting them dry overnight, or over several nights, isn't a terrible thing.  Once in a while, it probably does them good.  Though, to do that properly, I would have to shake the last of the water out, for sure, before claiming that as a goal.  Which... I may consider going forward.

Medicine is in, a cup of kefir will be going in shortly.  And a small dose of insulin.  Blood sugar is a little high this morning.  Below two hundred, but... higher that it's been for a few days.  I... know why.  I had a bit of a dip, toward the end.  Couldn't really eat, so carb tabs were used.  Sometimes that goes right under the rug, sometimes... from last night... it doesn't.

Pain has been minimal lately.  I don't know what is up with that.  I'll take it, gladly.  But brain fog remains.  Those tabs have to kill ketosis!  Ah, right, that.  I really have to find something else, something keto friendly, to use.  Bit by bit, things are figured out, rearranged, moderated, altered.  And, hopefully, is a reasonably sustainable method.

Life, for some of us, is like living on an old creaky boat.  Every leak leads to a patch.  Every patch is sketchy, might even be worst for the overall integrity of the craft, but some things are choices between immediate death and the cost of long term health.  Faustian trades are made.  If the docs hadn't initially decided I wasn't worth helping, I wouldn't near be in this boat.  I may well have gotten back to a point where I could have been fit enough to get through school, college, become an engineer.  It's a bit late now.  The boat has far too many dings, dents, and bad equipment, and no company would hire a mostly dead man.  They aren't even hiring better engineers, they hire foreign intellectual slave labor of the lowest quality.

Anyway.  Medicine in, food to be added, insulin with that, waterers filled, a trim and shower, then... whatever else is required.  Not all that sleepy, this morning.  I got about nine to nine and an half hours of sleep.  Not optimal, but it must have been needed.  Then again, for three or four days before it, I was down to six to seven hours of sleep.  Repayment.  Later.

Dark and cold, but good.

.

.

I am keeping the house warmer.  It did rain, heavily for a while, and for a goodly bit of time.  While the sun was still up, even if heavily overcast, it had dropped to between 40 and 42, didn't look close enough to read well.  I am sure it is much cooler... colder... now.

Supper was a bowl of the chicken veggie soup.  I added enough diced cabbage to really thicken it.  I'm not sure why, but it isn't terribly satisfying.  I had but a single bowl.  Good enough, mind you.  And warming.  There is almost nothing like soup or stew to warm a body, starting at the belly.

Blood sugar is 130 just now.  Quite good.  The other two reads today were 153 and 113.  All of them are quite good, at the very least moving in the correct direction.  Medicine was taken, for sure.  I keep having to check.  Memory isn't the best.  I really have to push to, when I see it is needed, to act on it immediately before it leaves my mind.

Someone seems to be digging through old music vids.  Oh, such things I have written and played.  I have been replacing missing music, or other, as possible.  Not sure I am getting it right, but... I do my best.  I am sure someone who checks in, complains about the music, or attacks for one reason or another.  It's, actually, all they do here.  A yt employee, google employee... with nothing real to do... quota hires? union workers?  Though it could be a US .gov employee of similar merit.  But, yes, they attack.  As they may.

A shower in a bit.  A bit more gaming.  Then to bed.  Good night.

A few small things...

.

.

Breakfast.  Simple, just kefir.  And a small dose of insulin.  A bit past what should be lunch, and I decided to have another kefir meal.  I wanted to check blood sugar first, then decide if kefir is enough or if insulin was still needed.  At 113, kefir will be fine.  I could have more, not less, if no insulin this time.  Kefir definitely makes my stomach give off sound, as if... something bad were about to happen.  Nothing bad does happen, but it sure gurgles as if it will.

Before that, I attempted to change my phone service to auto pay.  It saves me a fivespot a month too.  It is a matter of messing with either calling, going in, or using their software on the phone.  I went with the latter.  Lots of problems, but I finally got through.

New card, so had to set that up.  Lots of problems with passwords to security codes, but made it through.  Figuring out which area in which to change that was the biggest second problem.  Eventually the area was found, and used.  It worked.  More, while I had been told something couldn't be changed, regarding the security, it actually can be.  I found that, and changed that.

With that set up, I may begin exploring the possibility of a newer phone.  Not sure I will buy, just... want to check.  Never go for the highest.  Those are... scams.  A notch or two down from the top tier will do, if all you want is the better systems.  As for memory?  Honestly, I've never used the higher memory.  Plus, memory on phones seems to be junk.  Glitter for fools, parting their money.  I've... been a fool.  Still, a better phone really is a better phone.  Just, understand, they only last a few years.  Don't get a ten year loan for the damned things!  Still... I wish to shop a bit.

It looks like it has clouded back up.  A quick check, and, yep!  Heavy, pregnant with rain, low, I can imagine rain... or not.  Moody, like a woman, about to spit like a child, or be somber, like a man of a mood.  Though I do expect rain.  It is staying right at 52, which is pretty much where I think, about reflection, it was earlier.  Odd how it does that.  Not sure if it warmed, then cooled, or has been steady though.

Well... heating some chicken for supper, soup...  I just wish I had more veggies to add.  To be honest, I won't cook veggies like that, again, unless I am working with everything cold.  It over cooked the veggies, with everything still hot.  They'll do, but... much better when just cooked, and that requires a start from cold.  I suspect I could have put the veggies in, after the chicken was cooked, and let it sit in there, covered, for fifteen minutes, and that would have been enough.  Ugh.  Live and learn.

A shower, shortly.  Then a shave.  Then, if possible, a bit of work on cages, or sorting wood, maybe raking.  Possibly work in the bathroom.  I keep trying, hoping, planning.  I... will get there.  Or die trying.  I love gallows humor, even when it isn't all that funny... at least on my score.  Be well and good day.

Late but good.

.

.

I couldn't wake earlier this morning.  One too many late nights, nights which are out of my control.  It was 00:30 when I went to bed last night.  Just... couldn't sleep before then.  Even then I had to push.  I did sleep well.  I set both alarms.  I killed the 05:00 alarm immediately.  I think.  I snoozed the 07:00 alarm a few times before I realized there was no used torturing myself.  Further, I used the pee jug.  No choice.  The bladder, it seems, is partly on time, partly on timing, and both were stretched.

I woke a bit ago, at 09:30, pretty close to exactly.  Getting up and going was easier.  I wondered why.  It is already up to 50 outside... that is why.  The ducks have been fed, and rabbits where checked.  Those out of water have had their containers refilled.  Food was checked and is in order.

Caught Sam in the trash.  She got... in trouble.  I took the trash out.  Should have done it last night, but ran out of energy, memory, thought.  Oh well.  She made a bit of a mess, I cleaned that up.  Yea.  I know.  But I get so angry about that.  She gets fed plenty, and won't hunt mice, but will tear into the trash?  Yea.  Angry.

Medicine is down.  Blood sugar is 154 fasting.  I am... carefully taking the various insulin.  Blood sugar is slowly falling.  Fasting is usually higher, of the readings, until I get below ~150.  I think I figured that out some time back.  Then it will begin flipping, until it flips fully.

Today?  If it stays warm, or I can otherwise warm my body enough to kick it out, I am hoping to begin back on the cages.  If I get through, or bored, with that, then begin piling twigs in one, easier to access, area.  Then begin piling the larger logs in another area.  Nearer where I want to finally cut them and stack them.  I have other twig/logs I wish to restack... old ones.  And there are logs I need to begin chopping.  As to those?  I was working on a very tough log, not standard.  When I pulled a different out, it chopped quite easily.  So, sometime this week?  I'd like begin chopping those, a few a day, nothing fancy.  It'll kill me, but... I... need to either die or get stronger.  Both!

On to waking, then work.  A shower in just a bit.  Oh, and setting up a pot of chicken stew on the fridge, and putting the rest up.  It was too hot to put away last night.  Later.

The chicken is done.

.

.

I am letting it cool, before removing bones.  I won't make a stock, with this one.  But will add stock if I have it thawed.  Once boned, it will go back in, with veggies, for a zero minute pressure cooking.  Being mostly meat and veggies, it'll be a stew.  Should be quite good.  And will be perfect for tomorrow.  I'll warm up with some right first thing... ish.

Oh, trash.  Not much out, not much to go out.  Meh.  I'll wait.  Too tired tonight.  Might get a shower in though.  So very tired.  Medicine has been taken.  Will take a slow acting before bed, and some fast acting with dinner.  Not much, gotta be so careful.

Good night.  I won't be going to bed immediately, probably not for an hour.  But this is it for posting.  Sleep well.  I will.

Finally warming a bit.

.

.

The nap, I think, did help.  Not immediately upon waking, but... after a bit.  With the downstairs warmed, a bit of gaming allowed me to find some level of warmth.  The girls have been fed and watered, if their litter really needs cleaned.  Ugh.  I... know.  It's just, I haven't been on top of things, too cool, too tired.

I did fall on my knees, earlier, if I didn't say.  I was half asleep, went to put on shorts, both legs went into the same leg hole as I lifted in a hurry, and down I went.  There was nothing close to grab.  Down, absolutely, crashing to my knees, on my knees.  And... nothing.  It didn't hurt, it doesn't hurt.  I am... well overweight, mind you.  I thought there might be... something.  Nothing.  Yes, it happens to... the worst of us.

I called my mother again.  It is, officially now, mother's day.  Plus, I wanted to check up on her.  She is in good shape... better condition... than yesterday.  As tough as she could be, she raised us strong.  Pain isn't something to be absolutely ignored, but it was never allowed to be the whole story.  She lived it, not just taught it.  Still not perfect, it will be a while.  Prayers are what I can offer.

I need to get some food together.  I had popcorn, but... that... isn't great, or really food.  It was a stopgap, and maybe something in to help warm and get some energy.  I am thinking veggies, in the instapot.  Maybe meat.  I'm not sure what I have, frozen or thawed.  I'll look.  I just hope I haven't let it go bad.  Ackh!  I just haven't been able, recently, to cook.  Or do dishes.  But, those things are set up again, it's just a matter of getting to cooking.  Today?  Yes, I NEED real, good, solid, food, to include meat.

Weather moved in.  It had been nearing 60.  I would wager, if I were a betting man, that it got above 60.  Then weather moved in.  I don't think it has rained, but there has been moisture in the air... something between a mist and a very slight sprinkle.  The temp dropped to about 55, quickly.  Oh well.  I have the furnace on.  Need it.  Ugh.  I will check on the critters before too long.  But the rabbits should be fine.  They might have emptied a few of their waterers, but not many.  I am no longer changing them every morning.  I change them when they are empty.

One last thing.  The rhubarb is coming in well, and is quite nice.  I may try, this year, to do something with that before it goes too far to seed.  Asparagus has come up too.  some of it is still too thin.  Perhaps I need to water?  There are many shoots, if still, only the northern half... two thirds... seem to have made it.  And the horseradish is doing well.  I may try to harvest some of that this year.  

The jerusalem artichokes?  Actually, I haven't noticed.  Probably there.  I really, some year, need to work those... stripping double and triple risers down to the strongest, cutting lower leaves for the first month, then lopping the top off after that, in an attempt to get the bulbs larger, plumper.  Perhaps watering the area, as well, even lightly... one or twice a week for ten minutes?  Something.

Anyway... time to... game a bit?  No, let me get instapot dinner going.  Then game while that runs.  I may check on the rabbits too.  Take night meds.  Gah!  So much to do.  And deal with litter.  Bleh.  Later.

Had to nap.

.

.

It ended less than two hours after starting.  Not sure how much it really helped, if there wasn't a choice.  I did set the alarm, if for three hours.  Actually, had to pee and didn't want to use the pee bottles.  I could go back to sleep, but... no.  Beside a pride thing, with the pee bottles, I hate having to clean them.

Odd how biology and pride in odd things can turn to be a friend.  I don't, of course, take it as a thing of actual pride.  Merely a personal achievement that, like many things, may well be swallowed in time.  For now, a tool.  One I can and will use to further simple goals.  How long have I been waking in the actual morning now?  It's been a week, maybe two?  I'll lose it in the heavy or deep summer, if just to having my cycles stretched due to extended light, though probably heat too.  Ac only does just so much.

Chores were done.  I think it had gotten to 60 out there, last I looked.  Sam went out.  I filled her water out there, with clean.  The ducks will dirty any water supply they find, as they find it.  Not much I  can do about that.  I had forgotten to turn the heat up, as it turns, and the whole house was just at 68, with the furnace set at 66.  Bleh.  Part of why I crashed.  If, I think, the corners of the house, even when the furnace is up, is chilly.  I would have crashed no matter.  Well, and the late sleep and still relative early rise.

I have gotten my extra medicine in.  I am now, pretty much at will, able to just take the evening pills today.  Hmm, I wonder if that played a part as well.  Medicine can be rather crushing, just escaping some of that aspect.  So doubling down, yea... might add to it.

On the good side, it looks like my experiment with food and insulin this morning worked out.  Between eating and insulin, blood sugar is at 104, a seventy five point drop over the fasting reading.  And, no crash.  If crashing, asleep or wake makes no difference.  And it is severe enough that it wakes me.  Still, that means it is about time for another meal.  A group of various nuts, three or four slices of cheese, and?  Something extra?  Meat sticks?  I am not up to cooking.  A can of sardines?  Maybe cooking veggies in the instapot, then topping generously with butter?  Not exactly a fat, but...  Ugh.  I'll figure something out.  Later.

Freezing, warming.

.

.

I'm not sure when I checked the temp outdoors first.  Around 08:30, I think.  It was 32 F!  May 9th?  Really?  I warmed the house, a bit.  Not enough, may jack the furnace a bit more.  Ugh.  None of the water I saw seemed frozen.  Though maybe the ducks move it enough that it didn't freeze.  

At about 10:30, so about ten ago, the temperature out there had risen to 50!  That was a large spike, in a short time.  Though, to be honest, it doesn't feel all that much warmer.  I fed the birds, let their water flow for a bit, and changed the one waterer that was out.  I checked the food and waterers, only one waterer needed changed.  I will bring food around in three or four hours.

I'm not sure the rabbits are all happy.  Well, the mini men.  I put the two I don't plan to use as breeders together, and separated the two who I plan to have breed.  It looks like the two which are alone seem unhappy to be alone, and the two I put together look to have been fighting.  Not too serious, just... developing a pecking order.  It had to be done.  I suppose, with it being cold, the two lone rabbits don't have their partner to huddle with, and stay warm.  While the two new ones won't huddle, until they decide which is boss.  Such is rabbit life.

------------

Oh, have been having strange dreams.  I won't discuss them all.  But I will discuss one.  I went outside, and was managing hay.  I had a one handed type of pitch fork, sort of like a handheld version of the Wolverine's claws.  As I was walking up the driveway, from the garage to the street, I saw the ducks, all of them, heading right toward me at speed.

That isn't a usual thing.  Ducks usually go the long way around me.  Fine.  So their behavior caught my attention.  I looked at them, then noticed blurs behind them.  Focusing, I saw what the problem was.  Wolves, two.  Loping toward the ducks, and the ducks right at me.

I steadied the one handed pitchfork and got ready.  With it I killed the lead wolf.  The wing wolf came out and up on my left, and leapt.  I grabbed it with my left hand, unable to get the right clear with the pitchfork... which was stuck in the now dead lead wolf.  I was able to strangle it with my left hand, then release the pitchfork and bring that hand over to purchase greater control over the last wolf.

Knowing of federal issues, I simply buried the wolves, and left it at that.  My ducks, after that, were far less skittish around me.  Always opening the way, but not feeling the need for such a wide berth, certainly not as before.

------------

Blood sugar was 174 today.  Not bad.  I wasn't sure, after yesterday.  I had some ups and downs with it.  Still, it was better than other days.  I was able to use food to deal with downward spikes, and didn't have to use glucose tabs.  Well, three, actually, but not a whole roll.  I am having a kefir breakfast, for now, and took a minor dose of insulin.  I am hoping to warm enough to eat bacon and eggs before long.  So COLD!  Oh, my fingers hurt.  I need to raise the furnace temp output, then bask in the warmth, for a while.

Later.

Good morning?

.

.

We... ll, I think so.  Down very late.  The furnace was up.  I turned it up, early, in an attempt to get going.  But not enough.  I turned it up later, more.  Not enough to get going, but it made the day more pleasant.  I simply forgot to turn it down.  That is why, in deep winter and deep summer, sleep is very difficult.  Beside the light, in the summer, there is the heat.  Further, I have a natural inclination to hide from the heat.  So sleep usually flips, and becomes a night thing?  Mostly?  More often than not.  Though last year I was actually, oddly, able to acclimate... better than since I first became ill.  So, there is hope for this year.

Anyway, down at 00:30 or so.  I set the second alarm, not bothering with the 05:00 alarm.  I was hoping, even so, that I could beat the 07:00 alarm.  And I did.  I woke at 06:30.  That wasn't the whole of what got me to wake.  The need to pee like a race horse, and not having used a pee jar, combined to decide me to push out.  Not really ready to be awake, but I am trying to hold to days.  I take every opportunity possible.  I may take a nap later, just no later than noon and keeping it at two hours or less, if possible.

I... remember what I forgot!  Blood pressure, checking, and calling the doctor if it is over a certain amount!  Well, but I wanted to test for a week straight, to give my body time to cheat it's way lower.  It does so, some of that is psychosomatic?  Something like that.  And, given the fear of a new med?  That might help or harm.  So, I have decided, next Monday is when I will call, which will give me a weak to test bp.  Whether I do it or not, I will call with what results I have.

Today?  Trash out, and recycling at least to the barrel outside.  A shower and shave.  Chores, of course.  The bathroom is still hoped, as well as bringing the last of the boxes up into the front room.  Nothing else.  And I am not sure I will get to that.  Especially being this tired.  Two hours awake, extra, can through off the whole gig.  And I missed evening medicine yesterday.  I'll fit it in today, but there is a price for that.  Later.