.
.
All the first and second batch dishes are done. I still have more. Not much, technically a batch if really twenty pieces, mostly large and awkward items that just did'nt fit with else. I'll put those to soak after the shower, but they aren't high priority. Just the kitchen and bathroom plans are going to be major strains even if I can keep up the pace. Doable, probably, just brutal. It looks like I've broken out of lockdown and unlocked access to the work panel.
I thought about a nap. Decided to call my mother. She wasn't home, so in I went. But, in case she called back, I began reading the bible again. Just as I was shutting down the phone rang. How about that, she had Santa for snacks or a meal today, in gratitude for his work. Had to smile. His day is today, there.
After that I decided Iwas awake, so finished the dishes, quite a few. This, another break, then I'll hit the kitchen. Clearing higher then lower horizontal surfaces, counters and the floor if you like it plain. Then cleaning. Everything has to go. And I pretty much mean it. If I can chew that up today I will hit the nook tomorrow. I... have doubts. A try I will give.
Hmm, heated roast and a potato, then a break. I am sweating, and have had three work periods so far. I still have to be a bit cautious with exertion. And yet there is so much to do with little time. I had a flash of my mother showing up to nothing to do (then REALLY getting angry ;p ).
Saturday, December 16, 2017
Never sure.
.
.
I might add the goal of subduing the earth, walking on the sun, or even something wild like doing the dishes. That doesn't mean plans will be completed. I thought it would be piecemeal, the dishes. A part of them between breaks. The pain, mostly, has lifted... some bits back there better ignored. My mind puts up little signs on the pain-flowers... "Do not touch!", "You break it you buy it!", "Don't follow the tendrils!" and so on.
.
I might add the goal of subduing the earth, walking on the sun, or even something wild like doing the dishes. That doesn't mean plans will be completed. I thought it would be piecemeal, the dishes. A part of them between breaks. The pain, mostly, has lifted... some bits back there better ignored. My mind puts up little signs on the pain-flowers... "Do not touch!", "You break it you buy it!", "Don't follow the tendrils!" and so on.
A good longer sleep.
.
.
Sometimes I resist sleep, especially when it begins to go long. Most sleep for some time has been brokenby, even infused with, pain. When that broke, I could only sleep five hours or so at a time, painfree and solid, but so short. I, for a very rare time, was happy with ten hours down. No pain, breaks but standard ones. I wake with a host of morning pains including a minor headache, all of which will most likely be gone by the time I wake, or more fully. Not every day sees me fully awake... if I... think the difference would be lost on most. Hmm? Oh, nothing to fret. I really am, sometimes, jealous. Bliss.
Back to work. Business is concluded for the week, so I can stick to the house. With a phone man arriving Monday, I want the kitchen kicked out. Doable? I'll find out. He will be working back in the nook. I hadn't planned on that, if I have wanted it clear. Dishes and laundry need finished. It's a lot of work, and I had hoped to get to the computer/sitting room too. Not possible, all of it. Kitchen and dishes, probably laundry since that is just folding. Beside airing the house a bit Sunday and Monday, I'll change the bedding and have it washing about the time of the visit... it does well as a... odor blocker, deodorizer, something. Cooking and baking does wonders to, though a small pot of simmering water with sweet spices is good. Most deodorizers are questionable.
The worst things for odor is dirty dishes and cat litter, well and too inactive ogres. I'll push on dishes to get a shower. Might change out cat litter whole, if by parts so they still have access, washing each pan and lettering it dry before doing the next. I may be moving away from standard litter pans. Too shallow without the hood and Sam won't enter a hooded box. Just clear taller bins, perhaps in time with the lids on. Some recommend really big ones. Nive, but the volume of litter would be huge. If the litter held up, by volume versus time breakdown, maybe. I just don't know. Get the bin, cut a hatch two to three inches higher than two to three inch deep litter, and there you go. Clear because voiding is a risky time for a cat, they like to see around them.
The first thing once finances have been sorted if the work right. A kitchen faucet and plumb purchase and service, then massages. Those lowered my bp a lot. Meds, what I can take, help. They just can't fully, or always, work as well as hoped. I just hope this gets sorted soon. Proving they can do as they please which tells me more needs to be done. I think the right man for the job is on the job. He can only go just so fast though. We need ten like him in a row. Won't happen, people choose destruction tomorrow for more gold today in too vast of numbers.
Ugh. A few hours of gaming to light up the tubes. Best turn the furnace up, drain and reset the dishes, then to it. Good morning.
.
Sometimes I resist sleep, especially when it begins to go long. Most sleep for some time has been brokenby, even infused with, pain. When that broke, I could only sleep five hours or so at a time, painfree and solid, but so short. I, for a very rare time, was happy with ten hours down. No pain, breaks but standard ones. I wake with a host of morning pains including a minor headache, all of which will most likely be gone by the time I wake, or more fully. Not every day sees me fully awake... if I... think the difference would be lost on most. Hmm? Oh, nothing to fret. I really am, sometimes, jealous. Bliss.
Back to work. Business is concluded for the week, so I can stick to the house. With a phone man arriving Monday, I want the kitchen kicked out. Doable? I'll find out. He will be working back in the nook. I hadn't planned on that, if I have wanted it clear. Dishes and laundry need finished. It's a lot of work, and I had hoped to get to the computer/sitting room too. Not possible, all of it. Kitchen and dishes, probably laundry since that is just folding. Beside airing the house a bit Sunday and Monday, I'll change the bedding and have it washing about the time of the visit... it does well as a... odor blocker, deodorizer, something. Cooking and baking does wonders to, though a small pot of simmering water with sweet spices is good. Most deodorizers are questionable.
The worst things for odor is dirty dishes and cat litter, well and too inactive ogres. I'll push on dishes to get a shower. Might change out cat litter whole, if by parts so they still have access, washing each pan and lettering it dry before doing the next. I may be moving away from standard litter pans. Too shallow without the hood and Sam won't enter a hooded box. Just clear taller bins, perhaps in time with the lids on. Some recommend really big ones. Nive, but the volume of litter would be huge. If the litter held up, by volume versus time breakdown, maybe. I just don't know. Get the bin, cut a hatch two to three inches higher than two to three inch deep litter, and there you go. Clear because voiding is a risky time for a cat, they like to see around them.
The first thing once finances have been sorted if the work right. A kitchen faucet and plumb purchase and service, then massages. Those lowered my bp a lot. Meds, what I can take, help. They just can't fully, or always, work as well as hoped. I just hope this gets sorted soon. Proving they can do as they please which tells me more needs to be done. I think the right man for the job is on the job. He can only go just so fast though. We need ten like him in a row. Won't happen, people choose destruction tomorrow for more gold today in too vast of numbers.
Ugh. A few hours of gaming to light up the tubes. Best turn the furnace up, drain and reset the dishes, then to it. Good morning.
Friday, December 15, 2017
Seemed brutal.
.
.
I kept it light, doing less work than hoped but taking care of more business. That business takes more out than it seems that it should. All bills, of which I am aware, are current, if one is pending. Doesn't look good on that one. We'll see. Chatter, gab, talk, and hold-hell, hated it. Still, everyone I spoke with spoke (American) English as a first language or otherwise very well. Ugh.
I also did roast beef, using American organic garlic. Wow. I had thought it was me. Nope, Chinese garlic is as tasteless as it is bad for you. Cheap and tasteless? There you go. Thing is it's way too expensive. I may try to grow it. But that is work, requires at least some care, not all can do it. Not sure I can. Plus, how much? Still it was wonderful to smell and taste garlic again!
Some dishes. The rest tomorrow. Laundry too? I'm dragging, slogging through as I may, keeping pain in check, and just living. It's okay. Not perfect, still hurt solidly, way too tired, but... okay. Good night.
.
I kept it light, doing less work than hoped but taking care of more business. That business takes more out than it seems that it should. All bills, of which I am aware, are current, if one is pending. Doesn't look good on that one. We'll see. Chatter, gab, talk, and hold-hell, hated it. Still, everyone I spoke with spoke (American) English as a first language or otherwise very well. Ugh.
I also did roast beef, using American organic garlic. Wow. I had thought it was me. Nope, Chinese garlic is as tasteless as it is bad for you. Cheap and tasteless? There you go. Thing is it's way too expensive. I may try to grow it. But that is work, requires at least some care, not all can do it. Not sure I can. Plus, how much? Still it was wonderful to smell and taste garlic again!
Some dishes. The rest tomorrow. Laundry too? I'm dragging, slogging through as I may, keeping pain in check, and just living. It's okay. Not perfect, still hurt solidly, way too tired, but... okay. Good night.
Old realities, new truths.
.
.
I remember being introduced to one of these songs, more officially, at about the time I found the other. I am sure the introduced song had been heard, just not when it made sense. I heard the darker one first. Hearing the other after was so harsh. Something inside broke? I spent months going back, listening to one, the other, or both. Agony.
In time I either wore down to nubs or let it go. There was no... consoling? reconciling? I probably just hid it, from it. I know almost nothing I write makes sense to most of you. Some sort of entertainment? Perhaps mostly looking for new or different music? Most won't understand any of this. Less the change.
Nothing, of any real significance, has changed... in my life. All the same. Save perspective. I am no longer looking to end one to begin the other. I now live both. Gripe, sure. But I am in both songs at once, gratefully. I can do that. I am no longer were the only way is up. I have risen.
Such a different place without but seeing in a new way. I am home, whatever else.
.
I remember being introduced to one of these songs, more officially, at about the time I found the other. I am sure the introduced song had been heard, just not when it made sense. I heard the darker one first. Hearing the other after was so harsh. Something inside broke? I spent months going back, listening to one, the other, or both. Agony.
In time I either wore down to nubs or let it go. There was no... consoling? reconciling? I probably just hid it, from it. I know almost nothing I write makes sense to most of you. Some sort of entertainment? Perhaps mostly looking for new or different music? Most won't understand any of this. Less the change.
Nothing, of any real significance, has changed... in my life. All the same. Save perspective. I am no longer looking to end one to begin the other. I now live both. Gripe, sure. But I am in both songs at once, gratefully. I can do that. I am no longer were the only way is up. I have risen.
Such a different place without but seeing in a new way. I am home, whatever else.
Moving right along.
.
.
It might not be all that snowy but is cold. While we don't usually get much in the way of wind, it seems as if we get some, from the wrong direction, it really is worse, even in here, inside I mean. Today is cooler, if that is just normal seep. Hmm, or the thermostat wasn't turned up? Bleh, always something.
I called the phone company. It's time to pay but I won't. Phone hasn't worked since August. Service is being sent. They won't say if reimbursement will be made. I am sure they just never turned it back on. So it looks like they are going to try to jack me on this. Yeah. At least I enjoyed shooting down their cable tv spiel. They are desperate. Wonderful!
Dishes are being done a bit at a time. I'm not up to major efforts. Another bill, in a bit. A call for help with a package retrieval was roughed in. Bit by bit. Hopefully I'll get to laundry and the kitchen yet today. Might not finish the kitchen. If I can do even a third, mostly clutter, I'd be happy.
.
It might not be all that snowy but is cold. While we don't usually get much in the way of wind, it seems as if we get some, from the wrong direction, it really is worse, even in here, inside I mean. Today is cooler, if that is just normal seep. Hmm, or the thermostat wasn't turned up? Bleh, always something.
I called the phone company. It's time to pay but I won't. Phone hasn't worked since August. Service is being sent. They won't say if reimbursement will be made. I am sure they just never turned it back on. So it looks like they are going to try to jack me on this. Yeah. At least I enjoyed shooting down their cable tv spiel. They are desperate. Wonderful!
Dishes are being done a bit at a time. I'm not up to major efforts. Another bill, in a bit. A call for help with a package retrieval was roughed in. Bit by bit. Hopefully I'll get to laundry and the kitchen yet today. Might not finish the kitchen. If I can do even a third, mostly clutter, I'd be happy.
Saved some of the bacon.
.
.
So little vital physical being. I used every bit of it, then stretched. I was taking it slow or I would have ended up in trouble, more trouble, yesterday. As is I just broke a bit and seem mostly better for it as I wake. However, today until Monday, if work is planned, it will be light duty. Smaller chores and projects, mostly indoors, as islands of time surrounded by oceans of rest. I have to regain footing a bit cautiously. I have been down for a very long time.
One group of new dishes has been started. The dishes needing just a final rinse will get that when I feed the cats. I'll give the dishes needing washed a shot, see if they will go in with the rinse, then square that circle as if I knew what I was doing. A few hours later, laundry will get fluffed as the kitchen gets hit. Nothing too heavy, just clearing, sorting, tossing until I am sick of it or done, per session. I will hit that until done, then move back to the computer room, sitting room. It is so close.
I can also handle phone work today. Two bills, a check on several things, and whatever else might occur. No milk, I think? Wait, I always forget about that, there might be a way. I don't know else. Don't want to shower or shave too often, raw hide. Tomorrow. Oh, could see if the shoes returned have deposited, some companies trust when the packages hit ups, some wait.
There is pain, but it isn't the more odius levels. Mild, to be noticed, gauged, but pushed. Can't let this stuff win without resistance but no need to blindly antagonize. It, often, is your friend, letting you know something is wrong, or even right. Actually, I don't think too little food is the problem. I think I need to either eat more or eat less. This daily fasting, every day, is the worst. I never quite get unhooked and then undo my escape, staying perpetually in minor or heavier pain. I may try three, even five day full fasts.
Check into Russian research. WITH MEDICAL SUPERVISION they have people fast for up to three weeks. Speculation is that can be stretched much further. Germany also has at least a clinic. Extended fasting is only for clinical settings or if you have willing and able medical attendance at home. For me five days is as much as I will do, and probably only twice a month... Hmm, might keep it to three days, can do that weekly. Still, the problem with three days? You are just getting over hunger by the time you begin eating again, never a free time. It's got the same drawbacks as daily fasting. I may have to... explore.
So much for my hunger yesterday. I prepped a nice meal but couldn't finish, or even German, half a sandwhich, even while I still felt hungry. Bloated full on half a six ounce sadwhich and still with hunger. Something is just off in there.
So many of them. No chance. Ruinations. I used to believe it was me. Not so much.
.
So little vital physical being. I used every bit of it, then stretched. I was taking it slow or I would have ended up in trouble, more trouble, yesterday. As is I just broke a bit and seem mostly better for it as I wake. However, today until Monday, if work is planned, it will be light duty. Smaller chores and projects, mostly indoors, as islands of time surrounded by oceans of rest. I have to regain footing a bit cautiously. I have been down for a very long time.
One group of new dishes has been started. The dishes needing just a final rinse will get that when I feed the cats. I'll give the dishes needing washed a shot, see if they will go in with the rinse, then square that circle as if I knew what I was doing. A few hours later, laundry will get fluffed as the kitchen gets hit. Nothing too heavy, just clearing, sorting, tossing until I am sick of it or done, per session. I will hit that until done, then move back to the computer room, sitting room. It is so close.
I can also handle phone work today. Two bills, a check on several things, and whatever else might occur. No milk, I think? Wait, I always forget about that, there might be a way. I don't know else. Don't want to shower or shave too often, raw hide. Tomorrow. Oh, could see if the shoes returned have deposited, some companies trust when the packages hit ups, some wait.
There is pain, but it isn't the more odius levels. Mild, to be noticed, gauged, but pushed. Can't let this stuff win without resistance but no need to blindly antagonize. It, often, is your friend, letting you know something is wrong, or even right. Actually, I don't think too little food is the problem. I think I need to either eat more or eat less. This daily fasting, every day, is the worst. I never quite get unhooked and then undo my escape, staying perpetually in minor or heavier pain. I may try three, even five day full fasts.
Check into Russian research. WITH MEDICAL SUPERVISION they have people fast for up to three weeks. Speculation is that can be stretched much further. Germany also has at least a clinic. Extended fasting is only for clinical settings or if you have willing and able medical attendance at home. For me five days is as much as I will do, and probably only twice a month... Hmm, might keep it to three days, can do that weekly. Still, the problem with three days? You are just getting over hunger by the time you begin eating again, never a free time. It's got the same drawbacks as daily fasting. I may have to... explore.
So much for my hunger yesterday. I prepped a nice meal but couldn't finish, or even German, half a sandwhich, even while I still felt hungry. Bloated full on half a six ounce sadwhich and still with hunger. Something is just off in there.
So many of them. No chance. Ruinations. I used to believe it was me. Not so much.
Thursday, December 14, 2017
Stuck behind the phone.
.
.
Call after call, nothing. Called the main company. Tyrone, third return Georgia state prison, could he get some personal inf... click. No. Probably got too much as is. Really, Cub Cadet? At least get English speakers. Ebonics doesn't count. Add a three? I finally called the local store. I'll have to return it if they can't instruct. I don't need more paperweights. I did go out, tinkered. Perhaps mine is missing cutouts? The hole in the handle, near where it is supposed to fit, does fit over two keyed/cotterpinned posts, but I didn't find a way to turn that into mechanical lift. Waiting for a call. Not hopeful.
.
Call after call, nothing. Called the main company. Tyrone, third return Georgia state prison, could he get some personal inf... click. No. Probably got too much as is. Really, Cub Cadet? At least get English speakers. Ebonics doesn't count. Add a three? I finally called the local store. I'll have to return it if they can't instruct. I don't need more paperweights. I did go out, tinkered. Perhaps mine is missing cutouts? The hole in the handle, near where it is supposed to fit, does fit over two keyed/cotterpinned posts, but I didn't find a way to turn that into mechanical lift. Waiting for a call. Not hopeful.
Wednesday, December 13, 2017
Done!
.
.
At least the list as written. It hurt about half the trip, until stopping for lunch and breaking into anacin. Fast, love that stuff. Still, once a week, rarely twice if pain is excessive, persistent, preventing meeting needs, or some mix. If otc works, all good. While I think suffering is the majority of what is left to me, as joyfully as possible, sometimes enough is enough.
Kefir grains, organic American garlic, on top of beef and potato mashers. I know, but... it's been a while since I was out. Oh, and what is with gay guys? Are they that... urhm... hard up? I make it quite clear. Which is why I avoid. I wish women found me handsome. Okay, non-tattooed, single, morally and viably eligible dames. Yeah. Never mind. A pox upon both their houses. Maybe they should try each other. New comedy meme, "Whose on top?". ;p
Life is better. I can't believe a few otc helped as it did. I'll have to wind down. If the pain returns I will hit it again. I haven't had sleep not continuously broken by pain in... a long time, and I think that was just a nap. I NEED sleep, would almost kill for it. Maybe, if I can catch a break Ican work through the pain. Can't dose it too often, loses affect. Haven't suffered this level of pain and fog perhaps ever. One cancels the other. It might be a, if harsh, sign of improvement. My fog doesn't go as deep as it did? I think so.
Anyway, later. Or good night, in case the floor falls out from under me.
.
At least the list as written. It hurt about half the trip, until stopping for lunch and breaking into anacin. Fast, love that stuff. Still, once a week, rarely twice if pain is excessive, persistent, preventing meeting needs, or some mix. If otc works, all good. While I think suffering is the majority of what is left to me, as joyfully as possible, sometimes enough is enough.
Kefir grains, organic American garlic, on top of beef and potato mashers. I know, but... it's been a while since I was out. Oh, and what is with gay guys? Are they that... urhm... hard up? I make it quite clear. Which is why I avoid. I wish women found me handsome. Okay, non-tattooed, single, morally and viably eligible dames. Yeah. Never mind. A pox upon both their houses. Maybe they should try each other. New comedy meme, "Whose on top?". ;p
Life is better. I can't believe a few otc helped as it did. I'll have to wind down. If the pain returns I will hit it again. I haven't had sleep not continuously broken by pain in... a long time, and I think that was just a nap. I NEED sleep, would almost kill for it. Maybe, if I can catch a break Ican work through the pain. Can't dose it too often, loses affect. Haven't suffered this level of pain and fog perhaps ever. One cancels the other. It might be a, if harsh, sign of improvement. My fog doesn't go as deep as it did? I think so.
Anyway, later. Or good night, in case the floor falls out from under me.
It just isn't letting up.
.
.
A bit more eaten, to no good ends. It feels, now, as if something is trying to bust out of my chest. I have a package in, need to return shoes, and do shopping. It's time for a shower too. I have dishes blocking that. Can just drain and set aside but this pain is really weighing me down.
Some jackwagon adds links for addiction treatment. If I could afford drugs I would be spending it on medicine then my home. Seriously, piss off. You aren't funny even in a clown way. Some people are stupid, some are evil, there is a lot of crossover. If you want to actually help, pray. Somehow I don't sense that is your way, even if you play the part. May you find Wisdom before He finds you.
I'll really try to get out. Aspirin would really be good to replace. Oh, no. First, aspirin? Docs want me to take that. I take a lot less as I don't trust them, or seriously thinned blood, too easy to bleed out. If that is trying to suggest I used two and an half bottles in three months, you are an idiot. Hmm, that... leads me to who you might be. Yeah.
May try to nap first. Anything to break the pain up a bit. Later.
.
A bit more eaten, to no good ends. It feels, now, as if something is trying to bust out of my chest. I have a package in, need to return shoes, and do shopping. It's time for a shower too. I have dishes blocking that. Can just drain and set aside but this pain is really weighing me down.
Some jackwagon adds links for addiction treatment. If I could afford drugs I would be spending it on medicine then my home. Seriously, piss off. You aren't funny even in a clown way. Some people are stupid, some are evil, there is a lot of crossover. If you want to actually help, pray. Somehow I don't sense that is your way, even if you play the part. May you find Wisdom before He finds you.
I'll really try to get out. Aspirin would really be good to replace. Oh, no. First, aspirin? Docs want me to take that. I take a lot less as I don't trust them, or seriously thinned blood, too easy to bleed out. If that is trying to suggest I used two and an half bottles in three months, you are an idiot. Hmm, that... leads me to who you might be. Yeah.
May try to nap first. Anything to break the pain up a bit. Later.
Tuesday, December 12, 2017
Too little food?
.
.
I am eating daily. Enough to stay regular. The volume might be the problem, about an half pound of food a day, usualy eating only once a day. Worse, it hasn't been as fatty as it needs to be. Ketosis is measuring at 40 plus, weight is going up, bodily volume is going down. I ordered several shirts, not realizing one was slim fitted. It was just a wee tight. I was rather surprised how well it did fit, actually. Two or three of the middle buttons were slightly puffed. I was preparing to return it when I realized, in six months or less it would fit easily, perhaps loosely. I really want to get a suit or two but don't dare. Not yet. Anyway I just keep coming back to food being the issue. Not being able to cook as I would like, I might have to seek out fattier foods. Barbecue packs, even fried chicken, food I can just pick up. Carbs? Other than avoiding sugar I won't greatly worry about the rest. If a week of heavier eating doesn't solve it, and I'm not dead, I'll make an appointment and just hope meds will last or I can afford them too. The first of next month is the soonest I can do it, the rest is up to the doc.
I haven't felt this bad in a long time. I don't remember feeling this bad for this long, and not while also so fogged up on top of it. Fog used to block the pain. Bleh. Yeah, if this last trick doesn't do it I have to go in. If it's something bad? I'm going to die. I'm not letting them mine bits or parts, experiment, or otherwise get rich off my pain and death. If it's a minor thing, fine, we'll do it. All I'm saying.
Also working to get regular water in, or mostly. I can't drink straight water. It creates thirst somehow. I've tried just drinking a sip every five to fifteen, I've tried ice. I really wanted to make it work. I end up unable to drink then becoming dehydrated. I have to have something, if most additives are really questionable. As is I drink brewed loose-leaf tea Darjeeling with six drops of sucra drops per quart. I used to drink several gallons a day, but have cut that to half or less. Now I am just adding iced water to ever other jug. There is still enough rmaining for mild flavor but I am getting mostly water.
Anything to fix this. If, too, some of this is just better in the long run. Fever is definitely gone. A trace flickers from time to time, but is over unless something else attacks. The pains can be different daily. When I woke, and often, it is chest, lungs burning(?), heartburn. That has morphed to an ache under the middle of the left ribcage plus burning lungs, sore arms as if in a confined space, bumping the metal and getting sort of weary from that, and a hitch in my left side as if from jogging or sprints.
Later.
.
I am eating daily. Enough to stay regular. The volume might be the problem, about an half pound of food a day, usualy eating only once a day. Worse, it hasn't been as fatty as it needs to be. Ketosis is measuring at 40 plus, weight is going up, bodily volume is going down. I ordered several shirts, not realizing one was slim fitted. It was just a wee tight. I was rather surprised how well it did fit, actually. Two or three of the middle buttons were slightly puffed. I was preparing to return it when I realized, in six months or less it would fit easily, perhaps loosely. I really want to get a suit or two but don't dare. Not yet. Anyway I just keep coming back to food being the issue. Not being able to cook as I would like, I might have to seek out fattier foods. Barbecue packs, even fried chicken, food I can just pick up. Carbs? Other than avoiding sugar I won't greatly worry about the rest. If a week of heavier eating doesn't solve it, and I'm not dead, I'll make an appointment and just hope meds will last or I can afford them too. The first of next month is the soonest I can do it, the rest is up to the doc.
I haven't felt this bad in a long time. I don't remember feeling this bad for this long, and not while also so fogged up on top of it. Fog used to block the pain. Bleh. Yeah, if this last trick doesn't do it I have to go in. If it's something bad? I'm going to die. I'm not letting them mine bits or parts, experiment, or otherwise get rich off my pain and death. If it's a minor thing, fine, we'll do it. All I'm saying.
Also working to get regular water in, or mostly. I can't drink straight water. It creates thirst somehow. I've tried just drinking a sip every five to fifteen, I've tried ice. I really wanted to make it work. I end up unable to drink then becoming dehydrated. I have to have something, if most additives are really questionable. As is I drink brewed loose-leaf tea Darjeeling with six drops of sucra drops per quart. I used to drink several gallons a day, but have cut that to half or less. Now I am just adding iced water to ever other jug. There is still enough rmaining for mild flavor but I am getting mostly water.
Anything to fix this. If, too, some of this is just better in the long run. Fever is definitely gone. A trace flickers from time to time, but is over unless something else attacks. The pains can be different daily. When I woke, and often, it is chest, lungs burning(?), heartburn. That has morphed to an ache under the middle of the left ribcage plus burning lungs, sore arms as if in a confined space, bumping the metal and getting sort of weary from that, and a hitch in my left side as if from jogging or sprints.
Later.
Beef roast.
.
.
Solid food seemed a possible curative. All pains are gone save indigestion/sore area where ribs connect. Could be diet or sleep angle problems. Beef fixes much for me, it's my chicken soup. Not this time. Still, the rast won't go to waste. Ah, the fever is fading too. I didn't get to much, not even gaming... as far as I can tell.
It's time to crash. What a miserable while. It's been hurting to much for two long. Oh well. Good night.
.
Solid food seemed a possible curative. All pains are gone save indigestion/sore area where ribs connect. Could be diet or sleep angle problems. Beef fixes much for me, it's my chicken soup. Not this time. Still, the rast won't go to waste. Ah, the fever is fading too. I didn't get to much, not even gaming... as far as I can tell.
It's time to crash. What a miserable while. It's been hurting to much for two long. Oh well. Good night.
Held it to a nap.
.
.
It was a good rest. It didn't change the pain, that went from bad to worse. There is also a pretty heavy fever. While I slept I didn't feel the pain. I would still be sleeping if possible. I woke bolt upright, there was no choice. My face feels like a ripe tomato looks, probably looks like one too. It doesn't help with muscle aches but it has begun numbing other pains. Can't say which offhand, when numbing occurs it hits more than pain. Never can remember what to do with fevers. I do turn up the heat and try to bundle, if I can tolerate. Sometimes that just doesn't work.
I have, had, plans. If memory kicks in, maybe. It was light easy stuff. I simply can't see beyond the red fog. Gaming. Can't say I will play well, but it'll... take care of itself. I sure wish I could sleep. Later.
.
It was a good rest. It didn't change the pain, that went from bad to worse. There is also a pretty heavy fever. While I slept I didn't feel the pain. I would still be sleeping if possible. I woke bolt upright, there was no choice. My face feels like a ripe tomato looks, probably looks like one too. It doesn't help with muscle aches but it has begun numbing other pains. Can't say which offhand, when numbing occurs it hits more than pain. Never can remember what to do with fevers. I do turn up the heat and try to bundle, if I can tolerate. Sometimes that just doesn't work.
I have, had, plans. If memory kicks in, maybe. It was light easy stuff. I simply can't see beyond the red fog. Gaming. Can't say I will play well, but it'll... take care of itself. I sure wish I could sleep. Later.
Ouch.
.
.
I did push everything... I was awake nine hours past normal bedtime going in at 17:00, was more active than my bones advised, and then woke up without choice at 22:00. Everything hurts again. The hope is it will pass shortly, then I can do some work, then maybe I can can nap before business efforts tomorrow, maybe more done? Or... whatever. When you are broken you... get what you get.
Started a new game. Dishonored 2 was dull the first playthrough. The powers were boring, the "morality" of pacifism, the "ethics" of poor people loving elites with absolutely no sense of law, the creepy dimwitted sjw "logic", all of it fed excruciatingly by forcibly slowing gameplay so as to feed drivel I knew was a lie as a preteen. Glad to be done with that moronic waste of time. The fog can prohibit exit from even repetitive gaming hell. Oh, yeah, I don't recommend. Perhaps if you want your children being effeminate Che supporters? There... ya go, and here is your card. Don't you love it when rich and leftist hicks turn their children into Manson and Che bots while laughing at good parents with accents and faith?
This game, like some lately, is made artificially difficult. I play it to kill time. The games I like are limited. First, no false preaching. Actually no preaching. That is for church and personal exacting pursuit. I refuse preaching by those who are incorrect, those who aren't even faithful (modernist pilgrims, you call secular humanists), or... really any save who I travel to provide that allowance. I like a good story. Those start with the truth, the feather the facts around the truth. Break the possibles by denying truth and the story dies. I expect exploration beyond the line, extras hidden about. Don't add secrets no one would actually find.
I'm not really into the mythos, as a general rule. That is usually toilet paper, often used. Do they outsource writing to third-worlders or is that quota work, women blacks what's the diff? As long as they don't shovel it me, whatever. Sometimes I am curious about some element, usually to be taught not to seek in this area with yet another imbicilic bit of trash.
As for gameplay, I do prefer action. And while I can slog through Dark Souls type games, I prefer difficulty settings, which my current game doesn't have. I like shooting through, getting a lay of things, checking out the story, perhaps mythos if that is done well, and general lay of things (British is horrible, there logic is either of peasant or nobility, stupid and they deserve each other). Still, it most likely will do. No more elite royalty on and on about their love love love of those poor they keep in the streets, only noticing when shoved onto the same streets. Idiot sjws... I wonder if they are merely British... on the peasant side, of course darling! *snort, giggle, snort*
/rant? For now. :p Later.
.
I did push everything... I was awake nine hours past normal bedtime going in at 17:00, was more active than my bones advised, and then woke up without choice at 22:00. Everything hurts again. The hope is it will pass shortly, then I can do some work, then maybe I can can nap before business efforts tomorrow, maybe more done? Or... whatever. When you are broken you... get what you get.
Started a new game. Dishonored 2 was dull the first playthrough. The powers were boring, the "morality" of pacifism, the "ethics" of poor people loving elites with absolutely no sense of law, the creepy dimwitted sjw "logic", all of it fed excruciatingly by forcibly slowing gameplay so as to feed drivel I knew was a lie as a preteen. Glad to be done with that moronic waste of time. The fog can prohibit exit from even repetitive gaming hell. Oh, yeah, I don't recommend. Perhaps if you want your children being effeminate Che supporters? There... ya go, and here is your card. Don't you love it when rich and leftist hicks turn their children into Manson and Che bots while laughing at good parents with accents and faith?
This game, like some lately, is made artificially difficult. I play it to kill time. The games I like are limited. First, no false preaching. Actually no preaching. That is for church and personal exacting pursuit. I refuse preaching by those who are incorrect, those who aren't even faithful (modernist pilgrims, you call secular humanists), or... really any save who I travel to provide that allowance. I like a good story. Those start with the truth, the feather the facts around the truth. Break the possibles by denying truth and the story dies. I expect exploration beyond the line, extras hidden about. Don't add secrets no one would actually find.
I'm not really into the mythos, as a general rule. That is usually toilet paper, often used. Do they outsource writing to third-worlders or is that quota work, women blacks what's the diff? As long as they don't shovel it me, whatever. Sometimes I am curious about some element, usually to be taught not to seek in this area with yet another imbicilic bit of trash.
As for gameplay, I do prefer action. And while I can slog through Dark Souls type games, I prefer difficulty settings, which my current game doesn't have. I like shooting through, getting a lay of things, checking out the story, perhaps mythos if that is done well, and general lay of things (British is horrible, there logic is either of peasant or nobility, stupid and they deserve each other). Still, it most likely will do. No more elite royalty on and on about their love love love of those poor they keep in the streets, only noticing when shoved onto the same streets. Idiot sjws... I wonder if they are merely British... on the peasant side, of course darling! *snort, giggle, snort*
/rant? For now. :p Later.
Monday, December 11, 2017
Maybe.
.
.
I made it out. Just to the post office. Two packages and a bundle of mail. I thought about a trip to town, for a splurge of fast food. I headed out, a bit excited. Then I remembered my most recent ketone readings, my last blood sugar test, and... well... nothing else. Everything else stinks. I'm working on it, that is just the truth. Still, I want diabetes fixed and that mess off my neck. One year of clean blood sugars, or actually insulan two different things, at a certain level, and they have to declassify my situation for driver license purposes.
I thought about a trip to the store, for kefir grains to see if those work. If not I'll have to get on the horn with the dairy to find the problem. Hmm, if this call would go through soon enough I might call them yet today. I am curious if raw milk kefir helps with diabetes. It didn't work for me with store-bought milk, if it definitely soured and reproduced grains. I am hopeful with raw.
I realized I might no be... presentable. Oh, I showered last evening? I think so. But I got the trash out, finally, today. Beside that being uncomfortably overdue there were two pots which... be thankful there is no smell-o-blog. I think it clung though I used rubber gloves beyond elbows. Had to go to the post, if... Could just be stuck in the nose. Ugh. Anyway, didn't go.
On the way out, a lady offered me a ride home. It... was such a nice offer. Fearless. If I think God must often be with them. It was a wonderful early Christmas gift. And a reminder, for me.
As I was looking through mail, once home, another... spot of possibly good news. SSA is restarting payments while they do the review. First they said they were deducting some serious money. I just... took a breat and kept reading. Yes, there will be a reimbursement as well. That is supposed to be deposited in days. Problem? The account they used to deposit into is shuttered. So? A call. I was on, waiting, for 20 of a forty minute wait when they hung up. I've been on for 10 ot 15 of what is supposed to be a 35 minute wait.
What to do with it? Save it and else until spring. A furnace and whole house ac. Though I may spend the little dollars against any debts that might cover... which might be all or most of it. Then no more debt for a year or more? Probably until a new fridge and else next fall, but only a third to half, depending on my situation. Ugh. The next mess is the kitchen floor and maybe wall treatment.
If they don't keep hanging up. Later, or good night and day.
---------
Nope. They sent it where I told them not to send it and were baffled as to why it was returned. So they cancelled it out, again. Messages were sent, but she didn't know if anyone could do anything. May have to reapply for what good it will do. Dunno. Though this late, I may lose backpay and have to reapply fresh.
.
I made it out. Just to the post office. Two packages and a bundle of mail. I thought about a trip to town, for a splurge of fast food. I headed out, a bit excited. Then I remembered my most recent ketone readings, my last blood sugar test, and... well... nothing else. Everything else stinks. I'm working on it, that is just the truth. Still, I want diabetes fixed and that mess off my neck. One year of clean blood sugars, or actually insulan two different things, at a certain level, and they have to declassify my situation for driver license purposes.
I thought about a trip to the store, for kefir grains to see if those work. If not I'll have to get on the horn with the dairy to find the problem. Hmm, if this call would go through soon enough I might call them yet today. I am curious if raw milk kefir helps with diabetes. It didn't work for me with store-bought milk, if it definitely soured and reproduced grains. I am hopeful with raw.
I realized I might no be... presentable. Oh, I showered last evening? I think so. But I got the trash out, finally, today. Beside that being uncomfortably overdue there were two pots which... be thankful there is no smell-o-blog. I think it clung though I used rubber gloves beyond elbows. Had to go to the post, if... Could just be stuck in the nose. Ugh. Anyway, didn't go.
On the way out, a lady offered me a ride home. It... was such a nice offer. Fearless. If I think God must often be with them. It was a wonderful early Christmas gift. And a reminder, for me.
As I was looking through mail, once home, another... spot of possibly good news. SSA is restarting payments while they do the review. First they said they were deducting some serious money. I just... took a breat and kept reading. Yes, there will be a reimbursement as well. That is supposed to be deposited in days. Problem? The account they used to deposit into is shuttered. So? A call. I was on, waiting, for 20 of a forty minute wait when they hung up. I've been on for 10 ot 15 of what is supposed to be a 35 minute wait.
What to do with it? Save it and else until spring. A furnace and whole house ac. Though I may spend the little dollars against any debts that might cover... which might be all or most of it. Then no more debt for a year or more? Probably until a new fridge and else next fall, but only a third to half, depending on my situation. Ugh. The next mess is the kitchen floor and maybe wall treatment.
If they don't keep hanging up. Later, or good night and day.
---------
Nope. They sent it where I told them not to send it and were baffled as to why it was returned. So they cancelled it out, again. Messages were sent, but she didn't know if anyone could do anything. May have to reapply for what good it will do. Dunno. Though this late, I may lose backpay and have to reapply fresh.
Roughly better?
.
.
Some things are difficult to define. I am better. It is rough. Sleep was difficult, I woke often in pain. It felt like muscle and joint aches from poor sleeping angles so adjustments were always being made. I did sleep, but not well or deeply. It was 58 when I went to bed, so I needed the fan. It got down to 50 by the time I woke. Could have done without extra cool but airflow was nice.
Strange dreams, most gone. In one I dreamed of nine conceptions... the nights of. I am certain, as certain as my mind gets, of three, suspect another three, but... could be just a dream... Anyway, each of those were contrasted by hunting episodes. I am sure, as possible, of the hunting and fishing. A small buck, pheasant, a duck if that wasn't my shot was it Adam, a prize brook, sqirrles, and others. I have no good idea on the meaning of this one, if perhaps a few ideas. I almost or sort of hope my mother gets to meet some of them. I suppose if she decides to aim for heaven, and they do as well? It's, most likely, the only way, for even if all go to hell that places defines loneliness.
I have gained another pound, consuming several cups of twothirds broth chili. Wetter than I like, just added a bit too much right at the end. I am *cough* very regular, and ketones are measuring 40 plus, so... Oh, not water build up either. Very strange if weight isn't even a goal. Further, some third of the pain is from getting smaller... dimples in my sides as volume shrinks. Fasting does work if other factors are covered, enough is eaten, and blood work is ongoing. I rounded up the keto goop, minus a certain vitamin. Now to add it occasionally, as needed to help with physical activity. I am definitely feeling drained, if pain dissipated quickly today. Yeah, a keto mix and that vitamin, maybe a mess of them, part time on top of dailies. If I can get something going, then work and walk, perhaps doubling up would quadruple results? So long as I watch things, maybe.
Imagine being the one who dies, the witness, and the one behind it all, at the lower levels. Penance? One would hoqe so. Not quite a loop, save in... a way. I can't get out. Still, so be it. Would far rather suffer here for another hundred years than even a day in pergatory. Amen.
Later.
.
Some things are difficult to define. I am better. It is rough. Sleep was difficult, I woke often in pain. It felt like muscle and joint aches from poor sleeping angles so adjustments were always being made. I did sleep, but not well or deeply. It was 58 when I went to bed, so I needed the fan. It got down to 50 by the time I woke. Could have done without extra cool but airflow was nice.
Strange dreams, most gone. In one I dreamed of nine conceptions... the nights of. I am certain, as certain as my mind gets, of three, suspect another three, but... could be just a dream... Anyway, each of those were contrasted by hunting episodes. I am sure, as possible, of the hunting and fishing. A small buck, pheasant, a duck if that wasn't my shot was it Adam, a prize brook, sqirrles, and others. I have no good idea on the meaning of this one, if perhaps a few ideas. I almost or sort of hope my mother gets to meet some of them. I suppose if she decides to aim for heaven, and they do as well? It's, most likely, the only way, for even if all go to hell that places defines loneliness.
I have gained another pound, consuming several cups of twothirds broth chili. Wetter than I like, just added a bit too much right at the end. I am *cough* very regular, and ketones are measuring 40 plus, so... Oh, not water build up either. Very strange if weight isn't even a goal. Further, some third of the pain is from getting smaller... dimples in my sides as volume shrinks. Fasting does work if other factors are covered, enough is eaten, and blood work is ongoing. I rounded up the keto goop, minus a certain vitamin. Now to add it occasionally, as needed to help with physical activity. I am definitely feeling drained, if pain dissipated quickly today. Yeah, a keto mix and that vitamin, maybe a mess of them, part time on top of dailies. If I can get something going, then work and walk, perhaps doubling up would quadruple results? So long as I watch things, maybe.
Imagine being the one who dies, the witness, and the one behind it all, at the lower levels. Penance? One would hoqe so. Not quite a loop, save in... a way. I can't get out. Still, so be it. Would far rather suffer here for another hundred years than even a day in pergatory. Amen.
Later.
Sunday, December 10, 2017
As sleep beckons pain returns.
.
.
While it returns, and in a global fashion, rather than raw and brutal as a jackhammer it is still as any great din though from a distance and furthered mellowed by snowy ground and fog. It increases as I linger, so to be brief. Still to suffer for another is no terrible price, or as I see things. The more concerning pains are all but gone I think, so far.
Chili was made. I amgetting good at it, even with inferior beans. A couple of cups of the bright stew filled the hunger. I need more, and consistent, food. Perhaps I missed more than I thought, for I feel stuffed after three to four cups. No worries. A roast beef and chicken drumsticks will be cooked tonight. Need something beside a bean dish, for certain.
Life is better. Some work two days in a row. And back to a bit more reading. The room had grown too cold, took a day or two to figure that and alter patterns. Good night and be well.
.
While it returns, and in a global fashion, rather than raw and brutal as a jackhammer it is still as any great din though from a distance and furthered mellowed by snowy ground and fog. It increases as I linger, so to be brief. Still to suffer for another is no terrible price, or as I see things. The more concerning pains are all but gone I think, so far.
Chili was made. I amgetting good at it, even with inferior beans. A couple of cups of the bright stew filled the hunger. I need more, and consistent, food. Perhaps I missed more than I thought, for I feel stuffed after three to four cups. No worries. A roast beef and chicken drumsticks will be cooked tonight. Need something beside a bean dish, for certain.
Life is better. Some work two days in a row. And back to a bit more reading. The room had grown too cold, took a day or two to figure that and alter patterns. Good night and be well.
I think I hit on something.
.
.
Much better if still a bit tired. Pains, all around, have improved. I do believe I was excessively dry. Ther are still a few issues, if solid food will help. Dishes, the batch in action, is ready enough for a rinse and use. Mostly need a stock pot for chili. I worked the cast so as to fry burger, it can get a bit funky if not used in a bit, even if cleaned well before storing. The meats are all thawed as well.
I did shower, set the laundry for a short run, and am about to hit dishes. I will probably set the burger to go as i set dishes to soak. As hot as the heater is set, in the big bin, it takes an hour or two for reasonable handling... the trick is to get it when it is still very hot, so drying is fast, glass stainless and such sparkles, and germs are reduced. I'm more interested in sparkling than germs.
After reviewing air compressors, researching to my ability, then thinking things over, I finally pulled the trigger. The sale at one site, was only an incidental bonus. Of course now I need a hose, parts, perhaps filter options as well. It should do everything I need, maybe want. Not sure if I need 3" nailing or house paint, though I am not sure, regardless of advertisement, if this or it's competition would do that. They refuse to be honest. What does fulltime versus intermittent really mean? How long, really, is fulltime. I'd love to try the low pressure paint system. If it works well enough, I'd like to repaint every room. Dreaming, but if it simplifies enough, possible. Should handle the various tires, and is portable in all ways if needed... can go 220/240 too, if I wanted to tie it down. Happy.
Hmm. Time to start things. Later.
.
Much better if still a bit tired. Pains, all around, have improved. I do believe I was excessively dry. Ther are still a few issues, if solid food will help. Dishes, the batch in action, is ready enough for a rinse and use. Mostly need a stock pot for chili. I worked the cast so as to fry burger, it can get a bit funky if not used in a bit, even if cleaned well before storing. The meats are all thawed as well.
I did shower, set the laundry for a short run, and am about to hit dishes. I will probably set the burger to go as i set dishes to soak. As hot as the heater is set, in the big bin, it takes an hour or two for reasonable handling... the trick is to get it when it is still very hot, so drying is fast, glass stainless and such sparkles, and germs are reduced. I'm more interested in sparkling than germs.
After reviewing air compressors, researching to my ability, then thinking things over, I finally pulled the trigger. The sale at one site, was only an incidental bonus. Of course now I need a hose, parts, perhaps filter options as well. It should do everything I need, maybe want. Not sure if I need 3" nailing or house paint, though I am not sure, regardless of advertisement, if this or it's competition would do that. They refuse to be honest. What does fulltime versus intermittent really mean? How long, really, is fulltime. I'd love to try the low pressure paint system. If it works well enough, I'd like to repaint every room. Dreaming, but if it simplifies enough, possible. Should handle the various tires, and is portable in all ways if needed... can go 220/240 too, if I wanted to tie it down. Happy.
Hmm. Time to start things. Later.
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