A few chuckles.

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Not much else, so far.  A bit of research on some things.  And... some realizations, learning.  Odd how the world is, sometimes.

The first thing I was looking into, was adapters for metric ratchets.  I was sure there had to be some.  There are for SAE, from 1/4" to 3/8" to 1/2", and between.  But... I... wasn't finding them.  I have mostly used SAE, so am not terribly familiar with metric tools, if I do have them.  On and on I looked.  Until...

Yes, I did laugh.  Metric sockets use SAE ratchets!  Okay.  And, really, I should have known that.  But, time, and lack of use, and memory... things fade, get lost.  But, fine, at least I now know that.  And, the SAE adapters will be sufficient.  As I consider a bike, there are some tools I want to obtain.  A few holes in my equipment, tools, else.  I can't fill every hole, and I won't.  Some things I just don't, won't do.  Something I will.  Other things I may ease into, like, maybe, changing tires.  Still not sure if tubed or tubeless is best, but it won't matter.  My initial configuration would be the way of it, until it was time to change tires, at least.

I did have to laugh.  Why not enjoy learning.  Ignorance isn't a disgrace, it is a beginning.  And, so, I started.  One down, a billion, trillion, gazillion, and more things yet to learn, understand, understand in new or peculiar facets.  I had to laugh about the next one, as well.

I purchase tire air chucks, self capturing.  So I don't have to screw the compressor on, every time I wish to fill or top off a tire.  Something more for bikes, but would be nice for the Xterra, when it is time to fill those, or even check them.  So, I tore open the package, grabbed my cordless compressor, and... started in at it.

I couldn't figure it out.  I thought I was supposed to take off the old one, and that this new device would screw into some part.  But... the gnarled threader would simply not come off.  Oh... I could get it off!  But, should I?  Tinkered, thought, looked for crevices which might indicate a way to removed the piece.  Nothing.

So... I went looking.  On y.t.  I couldn't find anything, for my first half dozen queries.  And, really, didn't find anything, directly.  But... did find something about a different type of chuck, on a different brand of compressor, so... watched it.  Hahahaha!  I... didn't have to take anything off.  All I had to do was screw the new piece right to the original gnarled twist on part, and done!  So... yes.  I... did figure it out.

Oh, and while on y.t., I saw a vid which... caught my eager eyed attention.  It's... been a while.  Lord knows, I... I look, think, remember.  But, it brought something else to mind.  Castle Anthrax, and the first time I saw this scene, and much I have thought about it then and since, watching again and just... from time to time.  Oh, yes, a bit of peril.  God knows I wouldn't mind, at all.  But the... rules have changed.  Still...

Rough.

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I just can't wake up.  Nor, really, can I sleep right now.  Oh, I may try anyway.

Well, I will try to stay awake.  Perhaps have a fatted coffee.  Maybe something to eat.  It is 80 in here, with the fans going, the place open.  It doesn't feel hot, but... I think it is getting to me.  At 77 or higher, I just don't do well.  An improvement, but still a limit.

Slight catches, in my neck and shoulders.  No pain, just... when I look or flex or turn, there is a bit of a hitch in there.  Probably more from so much sitting.  Well, and sleeping.  I am most likely not rolling as often as I should.  Still, I have had much worse.  

For whatever reason, it just isn't cooling.  Not insider, perhaps not outside either?  It is 67 outside.  So, much cooler much earlier tonight.  Yesterday, as late at 02:00? or so, it was still 70.  At 22:41, (12:41 + 10 hours = 22:41, or 10:00 pm for some of you).  That isn't cooling off the inside, much, however.  Or... not yet.  I really can't believe it is 80 in here, with all the fans going and it being 67 out there.  Bah!

Oh, while still looking at the variations of the modern JIS screwdrivers, I found some in the smaller sizes.  I'm not sure if they actually go down to glasses sized drivers, but I will find out.  I ordered some.  I should  end up with a reasonable number of these, in various sizes.  I just went looking for some philips screws, close by.  Found some, but they were too small for the drivers I have.  I currently have access to the 3 and 2 sizes, and have 1s, .75s, and .5s (maybe another size as well) on the way.  Further, in time, I'd like to get their flat blades also.  It is said they fit metric flats much better (though don't work as well in sae, unlike the JIS versus philips).  Which makes sense, really.  Blades cut for metric will have slop in them, just as sae will have slop in JIS flat screws.  Whereas philips are made to slip even philips screws, while the JIS were made to bite and hold, and don't bottom out.  Totally different mechanical operations and fits.

I enjoy sorting things.  Even if I'll never use a tool again, I... will collect them.  Though, there is hope.  I love tinkering.  It's just that I have to be able to stand, move around, think, find the tools, find the thing to fix... or break.  Breaking things is almost as fun as fixing things, especially if you go on, then, to figure out how to fix the breakage.  

Bah... got lost again, looking something over.  What?  Oh, pressing and padding.  Well, and a bit more.  I have a woolen pressing mat, but... have some doubts.  Had them on my own, or I wouldn't have been looking.  Further, for the new tables... I was worried about height, being tall and not wishing to be bent when working.  As well, I... was thinking of how to make the work tables not only high enough, but also, potentially, useful for ironing, or pressing, larger lots of fabrics.

Well, look at them apples.

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Still dreaming, never mind me.  Awoke at 20:00?  Or so.  Opened up the house a bit more, down here.  Upstairs was 70 to 73, but it felt so very warm?  Okay.  Downstairs it is 76, and 80... 76 outside.  Opening up may help this front room cool, but won't heat the rest of the house, and will bring in fresh air.  Loverly.  I have fans going everywhere, as if that always helps?  Well, yes, it helps, just... not all that much when the world, out of doors, is still.

One package today.  A couple more of the JIS screwdrivers, shorties, nubbies, call them what you will.  That, and a clamp on fitting for my tire inflation kit.  It holds onto the fill tit, so I don't have to spend five minutes in the cold, or heat, screwing the one that came with it down.  I'll have to see if it works before long.  If it works, it will be might convenient, quick, and easy to fill the tires.  It still takes a while, but the ease makes it more likely.

Partly cloudy.  No rain in the last few days?  The grass has greened a good deal, and grown.  May have to mow before too long.  Weeds in the driveway nearing my height... yeah.  If it doesn't rain by tomorrow evening, however, I will get the sprinklers going.  Mostly just on the front yard.  Though, I suppose, I should hit the side and back yard, if much more lightly.

I still have the list.  A trim, shower, and maybe eventually an actual shave.  Dishes set up.  And cleans of counters again, but all of them.  Go back over what had been cleaned, then hit the other counters and stovetop.  Maybe even clean the oven?  Let it steam for a bit, then hit it hard.  And, maybe, some work in the bathroom.  If I can hit that hard, wear myself out over a few sessions, then get on to bed, that would be a good way.  I will see, shortly.  Later.

Oh, I tried.

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Food, even if I didn't want to eat.  Coffee, while I wasn't thirsty.  Things like that in an attempt to organize and get going.  I have... things to do.  And no time to do them.  I... will not get them done today.  However, I might be able to place a call and at least not leave others in the lurch.  I'll.. do what I can, when I can.  Or... I don't know.  So tired I am not sure I can talk.

Mother called.  Needed some information.  Got it.  A letter, I am told.

Yes, I know why.  And, I'm not the only one.

No matter what I have done, I haven't been able to do enough.  I am crashing through the floor.  I've got to just go on to bed and hope, soon, I can... do as is needed.  I'll get it done.  I... will, must.  Good day.  Goodnight.

Sleepy, but...

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I have things I wish to do.  Nothing fancy, not much.  Staring with a shower, and setting up dishes.  Laundry is caught up, if not sorted well.  Washed but languishing.  Bleh.  I'm having a fatted coffee, to try to push through.  It really hasn't helped of late. Just... still... a bit warm.

It finally cooled a bit more, to 62 outside.  But was 70 until rather late, actually early into the morning.  It dropped a goodly bit, right at the end.  But not enough to cool the cave off.  It is 75 in most places, if only 76 here near the machine.  It just isn't cool.

Mostly to partly cloudy.  The mix makes it difficult to gauge.  But I'm going with between forty and seventy percent, depending on the moment and observational clumsiness.  So mixed, it's difficult to sort out well, completely.  It could rain, at any time... or shortly.  Though it could toss sprinkles from some of the larger clouds?  You never can be certain.

It... isn't August.  Not weatherwise.  It is fall.  This is September, or even October, weather.  But we were having August weather the last two weeks of last month.  Fair enough, I suppose.  I am always glad to escape the deeper summer.  As to it getting too cold, too fast?  Even with prices of fuel skyrocketing, I am getting better at maintaining a more constant temperature, in here, with less fuel, and using clothing, layering, to drive through the cold better.  Though, the concern about cold is less to do with me, than agriculture.

Which... is why I have food stores put up, though, too.  Enough?  You can't have enough.  All you can have is enough to, in worst case, buy time to sort things out to a better solution.  That is, assuming you can even keep what you have, protect it.  You... can't, not alone.  Still, it's... there are starts, opportunities, and such.  The world is getting dangerous, though.  More with what I am familiar.

Interesting, as I... walk into the dubious future, I see the sad, angry, unhappy, faces of people realizing... things I have finally become... comfortable with.  The world isn't fair.  If it, or people, in it, can kill you, they will or will try.  Sometimes for no reason at all.  Nothing you own is yours.  While the NWO meaning of that is false, the truth of it remains.  Not your possessions, property, even body.  Nothing.  If your life isn't Gods, it belongs to the dirt.  Your choice.  But it isn't yours.  If you can't defend it, keep it, it isn't yours.  And... you can't.  Oddly, you can keep it no better than I could throw it away.

Yes, I see people coming to my realizations.  Some of the hate that I already realize some things.  Some are trying to continue in their old lies.  But, as people fold into misery, I blossom.  Not... because I am happy with what I am seeing.  But because I am grateful for all I have had, what I still have, and with my relationship with God.  I really hope some people wake up to that.  It isn't what you have.  It isn't who you know.  It's not your position, wealth, access.  None of those are you, or important.  If you don't know what is, and embrace it?  Find it.

Even people having to be apart, from friends, peers, coworkers.  Depression?  I get it.  I had to go through it.  But with even less access to others than most people, even in lockdown.  I've been locked down for decades.  I feel sorry for what people are going through.  Even without actual lockdowns, fewer jobs, schools not being available, and such?  Alone.  I... get that.  Still, I'm telling you, don't let that break you.

Find a hobby.  Doesn't have to be fancy.  Find an inexpensive pocket knife, and begin to carve.  Learn to hand stitch things... first just learn the techniques, with what you have.  In each, or other hobbies, then improve your tools, or supplies, over time.  Start from the start.  Find others who could teach, or share.  Though, to be honest, this is a lonely world.  Often, at least for me, I am on my own.  Almost always.  You can do it.

No, I see them going into and through the darkness I have been through.  And despite their pride, or belief they don't deserve it, or fear, I know it is only going into and then beyond the darkness where growth begins.  Finding what is true, rejecting what is false, realizing it has almost nothing to do with you, if... by God's will, it seems still to be all for you.  Take that as desperately humiliating, though, not as a cause for personal pride... and you... will find your way through.  I don't think everyone can handle humility.  Unfortunate.  Then again, I... couldn't... for the longest time.  If my suicides were less of pride, and more from the pain.  Odd, I don't even have that anymore.  Still seem to make it through.  *grins*

Well... on to... a few things.  Don't let the world bring you low.  It's difficult.  No, it's impossible, unfair, and brutal.  Roll with it, relax, pray, and just... do.  It's not about you, but it is all for you.  Good morning and day.

Found it!

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I had given up looking for the biggest gun on a tank, or sorts.  But was still looking through videos regarding tanks.  I'm not sure I would have wanted to be a tank man.  To me, that would be claustrophobia inducing.  If that got hit, there would be no place to go.  And, inside, I would guess there would be little room, less so for taller guys.

Had to laugh.

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While looking around on y.t., found a vid that looked interesting.  I was looking for the tanks with the biggest big guns.  I tried several times to craft the right query.  Either they don't have such a thing, or don't allow it to show up in search results?  Hard to tell with those yahoos.  So, I just went for this one.  It might not be the absolute biggest, but it is probably among them... as a functional main battle tank.

It took a bit, two calls, and some chatter...

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But!  Either a refund or resend was finally put in play.  The automated system couldn't/didn't understand that the item was part of a package.  Or simply couldn't send the other items?  It did show, their site, as being sent, but nothing else in the package was sent with it.  So, another call.

I couldn't understand her well at all.  Chinese?  Most likely.  Where?  Who knows.  Her phone isn't in good shape, which didn't help.  And, she was about as interested in her job as... could be expected.  Still, we worked through it.  All she could do was draft a refund, so I agreed to that.  When it comes in, I will reorder the items.  

I did receive one of the various screwdrivers ordered.  It is the larger of the JIS drivers.  One with an impact action... tapping it on the metal plate butt end will cause a 12 degree twist... an impact function built in.  I am buying a few extra, as these... may be coming to an end of manufacturing.  And, for some mechanics and bikers, would become... valuable relics.  Unlike electronica... which just dies by bits, these can last more than a lifetime.  Sure, someone might manufacture these off-brand.  But build quality always goes down.

Done.  But it sure took a lot.  Trying to figure out how to make contact is always... difficult.  To get to the phone number is triple difficult.  To find it twice in one day is miraculous, at least for me.  But... done.  It wore me out though.  I'd love to go on back up and nap, but I don't think I can.  I just have to suffer the exhaustion.  Seems strange, but I'm telling you, it's the way of it.  Tired enough, from that, that I hurt a bit.  Exhausted, too.  But I can't sleep even so.

I don't mind.  As long as the thing was done.  Some of the last other packages arrived today.  Meat sticks!  Some dry, some moist.  I really do enjoy them.  Four a day, when I eat little else.  Eaten in pairs, with a fatted coffee.  It might not be much, but it is keto, easy, and tasty enough for my liking.  And I don't end up eating all that many calories.  Not sure I am losing any weight, metabolism is too low.  But, I don't gain, and I am eating much less.

As well, fabric, I hope, for tshirts.  Cotton, with 5% spandex.  Not too much stretch, just a touch.  I am going to compare this to 100% cotton, and to higher spandex, plus a cotton polyester spandex blend, to see what I like best, then get that in a larger amount to just make tshirts as I need.  Stains won't come out?  Make a new one.  Of course, I'll have to rig a pattern.  Probably two sizes, one and two x sizes.  Maybe three x as well?  My size fluctuates, a lot, at times.  Still, I should be able to begin testing this material shortly.  Though, if I just like it?  I'll not bother with the others... unless it stains too easily, in the longer run?

Well, on to a few meat sticks and some fatted coffee.  Later.

-------

Always have to check.  But, yes, it looks like it is in motion, the resupply for one part, and refund for the other.  But... the refund is going to take a long time, up to ten days now?  Oh well.  I'll just wait.  Though, in searching, I did find micro JIS screwdrivers, so have ordered a set.  No stripping of little screws, or so I hope.  Hmm, though... an idea?  Perhaps, with the small standard screwdrivers?  Grind them down a bit, so that they do fit without bottoming out?  Might well work for that.  Could even try it with the bigger screwdrivers.  Length of depth of cut, though, is only part of it.  But, that might well be enough.  I'll experiment, eventually?  I can hope.

Always have to check.  While amazon can be a bit problematic, and they are making it more and more difficult to get returns, so far, if you spend time digging through things, eventually, if you contact someone, they will still take care of things.  In part it has to do with having fewer employees.  They are cutting, hard.  Probably as with UPS.  It's to cover fuel costs, without jacking prices beyond reach... mostly... usually.

Though, I am noticing, local shops (including big boxes) are pricing things more according the amazon than their own.  Competition was killing them.  And, yes, ten or twenty percent will mean the difference between a sale and not.  Especially on bigger ticket items.  Especially with, generally, it being nearly as easy to return an amazon product, the difference being standing in line at a service desk versus a ups line.  That's it... unless amazon is forcing you to print a label, or doing other things which complicates returns.  Bleh.  However, now that prices are parity, big boxes might be the way.  Quicker fund returns, too, locally.

Even so.  I can't always find very specific products locally, and for irregular items, never at price parity.  So... amazon will still get some, perhaps most, of my business.  I just hope they are able to... sort some things out.  Same with UPS.  It is the cost of fuel that is killing things.  They are splitting the difference between raising prices, slowing delivery, cutting employment, and some other things.  They are doing, I believe, their level best.  Right now, that is, honestly, as good as it gets... sometimes, often, better than the options (going without or paying more).

Check.  Later.

Humid.

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It is 80 outside, the low 70s upstairs, the mid 70s downstairs, but it feels humid.  It only reads 55% in here, but it feels 80.  Even upstairs was a bit sticky.  Definitely in the monsoon season, and deep in it.  I don't remember this, from before.  Though, usually, by this time of year, I am absolutely fried.  I am so beyond exhaustion that humid and a bit cooler is so much better, and yet I am in such bad shape, that I can't see the humidity itself.

I can't be sure when I went to bed.  At all.  I looked, down here and up there.  It just didn't track, stick in memory.  All good.  I, currently, am just sleeping when that is possible, as I am able, and for long as I can, to be honest.  Little reason to be up.  I have something I need to do, and have been pushing toward it.  But, so far, no.  There is always tomorrow, until there isn't.

A few more packages, but the screw driver set didn't arrive, or get returned.  Whoever it was delivered to must have liked it enough to just keep it.  I'll have to get a replacement shipped, hoping I don't have to deal with too much bs.  I applied yesterday, they told me I had to wait.  But they know this package wasn't delivered correctly.  They track them that well, these days.  They used to take a picture, showing it was on my porch or near the back door.  They have slashed workers, don't have that kind of time.

I turned a couple of fans on.  It is helping with the humidity.  Turns it from sticky to cooling.  A bit.  It'll be a while before it cools enough to do much.  So, for now, I get  to sit, read, research, and relax.  Later.

A rather pleasant morning.

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It looks like it is more overcast than initially observed?  Perhaps the observation was incorrect.  Whatever the case, it is staying somewhat shaded from the sun and it's heat.  It is still 62 out there, here at 08:33.  It is reading quite humid, as well.  Indoors, with things shut off, it is mostly 72, save here near the computer, at 75 and 61% humidity.  Yes, it feels sticky enough, inside and out, that the reading could be true.  The lungs feel wet, beyond the skin feel.  Seriously, this reminds me of Iowa.

I called my mother, to check on her.  She is doing well.  Watering her "jungle", tomatoes and else.  She would figure out how to get green growing things set up there.  Perhaps they had them before she moved in, but they definitely have them now.  She has little things she does, around the place.  Not even in a retirement home will she quit.  Oh, not a complaint.  A joy.  I do what I can, it just isn't as much.  That I still try, to a greater extent, is from knowing her, watching her, appreciating what she does, even if thanklessly.  It's... the work.  It's the effort.  Even if it fails, better to do, and fail, then to not do.

Always glad to hear that she is doing well.  She was pleased to hear that my brother called.  It just... eases something inside of her.  I do try to be kinder, gentler, with her, than ever before.  She isn't here to argue, anymore.  Even if she seems cranky, it is merely because she is trying to teach.  Now I try to just listen, perhaps understand.  No, not grumpy today.  Just... a note as things go forward.  Advice, too, about dealing with parents.  I should have learned this before, but the situations were difficult.  I... did what I could.  Things have turned out well, just later.  Late bloomer?  Aye.

I think I may go on to bed.  For a bit.  I have mostly closed the house up.  And the upstairs, with ac on.  Hopefully that will relax the humidity.  Seriously, the lungs feel so very wet!  Ugh.  And the skin, even cooler here, is sticky.  I'll skip food, but may try chops and eggs when I wake.  Good morning, day, and goodnight.  Though I am hoping more for a nap.

Strange how that works.

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I was warm, even hot, until it hit 73.  Then I became almost bitterly cold.  The outside reads 58 degrees.  And while the clouds are mostly gone, perhaps a quarter of the sky had clouds, half?  But they are flimsy, not too thick or threatening, or so it seems currently... as the sun begins to rise.  Still, it's a wet seeming day.

I don't think, in the end, we got all that much rain.  Enough to moisten everything.  Perhaps even as good as the sprinkler, if more fully broadcast.  Still, it is very moist, in the air.  This feels like an Iowa morning, not a Utah morning.  But that moisture adds a certain chill.  So, I shut the fans down and closed one window, the only one on the eastern side... though closing that is to keep the soon to be warming air, and sunshine, from heating that area.

With the fans off it is hovering right at 73, everywhere in the house.  Sticky, for the humidity, but cold too.

Haven't gotten to anything.  Not sure I will.  I'll set up a fatted coffee, see if the warmth and caffeine might help me get a shower, shave, and dishes started.

Oh, but... I realized something.  While I have been a bit broken, of late.  This last month, and some parts of last month?  Right.  Well, in spite of being incapable of working, there is something... missing.  Pain.  I haven't had pain regularly, or even irregularly.  Oh, I hurt, just a bit, the other day.  Which got me thinking.

Have I missed the pain?  Strangely, yes.  Not that I desire pain.  But, suffering... sort of makes me feel better about not being able to function.  Without it, I just feel lazy.  I'm not.  Something is broken in there.  I can't even eat, when I have tasty food, sometimes, because I can't digest it.  I know that.  Sometimes I can be starving, and simply not be able to cook... even if I have access to the stove, food, and clean pots and pans.  And I love to eat.  If, still, the only reason I am so fat is because I have zero metabolism.

I really am curious what happened with regards to the pain.  I had thought, perhaps, dairy.  But, no.  The pain stopped well before I ended cream.  I am eating a lot less, mostly because cooking has been a struggle.  Well, and food just... doesn't seem all that tasty.  The heat just... makes me not hungry.  Or, not able to eat even when hungry.

I remember my kidneys blaring, sending outrageous pain signals.  Other organs as well.  My ribs would hurt, from time to time, especially when I couldn't eat much... as is the current case minus the pain.  All sorts of pains, headaches to migraines nearly daily.  Neck, back, shoulders, knees, feet, ankles.  There wasn't much that didn't hurt.

Currently, just my shoulder joints hurt, and sometimes ribs... but not how they used to hurt.  The joints never used to bother me.  Now it is as if I slept in an inverted mummy sleeping bag, and my shoulders were pinned for it.  My ribs feel more like they are cramping.  While that is similar to the hunger pains, it's... from a different cause... more like dehydration cramps... right in there.  Very odd.  Even so, those pains are so much milder they usually fly under the radar.  I don't... notice, until I do something that stresses them, or am doing a body scan, finding what is wrong, or right.

Well, an swelling of the feet and ankles had mostly disappeared.  It comes back, lightly, from time to time.  But has diminished for the most part, save in just the left foot, and just the top of it... not the whole thing.  Ankles a bit, from time to time, but much less than before, and rarely.  That, I think, mostly, is due to dairy.  I think.  When I stopped, it slowly faded then was gone mostly, until this last week.  If, as mentioned, this is less severe than it has been in a very long time.

Pain... do I miss it?  Well, it... helped me understand my incapacity.  It helped me understand my health issues, at least through feel.  It... fed that which tended my guilty conscience.  Though, I have to tell you... after decades of pain, I... I think I can live without it, at this point, if that is allowed.  For while it is allowed.  I'll never be fully comfortable.  Hard to be awake, or sleep.  Difficult to be cool enough, without being cold, or hot.  Always a little uncomfortable in my skin, like any man just waiting around at the gallows, knowing it's just a matter of time, short or long, with little chance at... changing anything, doing anything about it.  At the gallows?  Or in the noose already?  More the latter.  Partly dead, more by the minute, no matter how many decades I may have left.

Still, I'll... take the lighter moments, and gratefully, at this point.  I don't need the pain, further, to prove or relieve.  I have done all I could do.  And I am... still working through, when possible, as I can.  Still, it's... strange, to not be in agony.  It's like living a life in a wind tunnel, to all of a sudden realizing the fans have shut off.  For a time, it isn't apparent, fully.  Then, when it hits, it seems so strange.  Quiet, of a sort.  I'll... take it.  Later.

Wind and rain.

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High, heavy, wind.  I... heard strange things from out there, suspected it was wind.  Opened up and almost lost the door.  Closed it up.  I had just been out back, checking the temperature.  It was just 77, pretty much what is has been for the last few hours.  But... it had started to sprinkle.  And... there was a few gusts, suspiciously high.

I set up...

---------

Power went down.  For... from shortly after 21:30 to 02:15 or so.  I know, now, how to call it in, so did.  More to see how long it would be down.  They thought until 01:00, so I went on to bed.  Well, first I had to find my phone, and find my way to lighting.  It was completely dark in here.

One box bumped, on my way.  Really, not bad.  I had thought I would have to go up stairs, near my bed.  I forgot about the battery operated night lights, on the stairs.  Not only do those work without external electric, they are portable.  I have another pack of those.  I really would like to get those set up down here, around the house.

Electrical outages are rare, and usually not this long.  The trick, tonight, might have been finding crew.  Beside being summer, it was so late.  People, often, turn their phones off for the night.  I'm not upset about a bit longer.  I just hope they were able to work safely.  We ask a lot of some folk, giving them very little credit for the miracles they perform.  While not Christs, sometimes the notion is there.  Doing tight-roping, and playing with high voltage late at night, in the dark, and rain?  With generally little thanks.  Well, I am grateful.  *tips hat graciously*  Some blue-collar are the soldiers and sailors of the civilian world.  They get paid, well, for it.  Still, they take great risks and do much to keep the world sane.

It was 74 everywhere, save right here by the computer, when electricity came back on.  It was 75 here.  :)  It just refused to by normalized, here.  It is 61 out there, or was ten minutes ago.  With the fans going, and everything open, upstairs and down, it should cool off soon.

Oh, as to the outside?  As soon as I checked the temp, and felt the gusts, and almost lost the door to being blown clean and hard into the wall, a gust of hard wind, and rain... or big sprinkles... washed through.  Ten feet from the open door and I was getting wet.  Sideways rain.

A few bolts of lightning, and thunder from that and from else, along with very heavy constant wind, then... *poof* it all went dark.  I would bet branches broke lines, though maybe a transformer blew, or as well?  And it wouldn't surprise me if several lines broke, not just one.  That was some wicked wind.

It came from the south, and went for... ten to thirty minutes?  Then evacuated to the east?  It sure seemed like it.  I have never seen a storm do a curveball like that.  Not to my memory.  If you are a storm collector, while tiny, in length, time, it was incredible for it's intensity, speed, and change of direction.  I'll... save that one, as I may.

I had just heated some of the pork roast.  I had to eat it in the dark.  But... that was fine.  Two slices.  Had hoped to have fresh veggies with it.  Might do that yet tonight.  I got Sassy to visit, gave her pets and massages, when she wasn't grooming herself.  She liked the light.  I kept one by the bed.  But they time out after, say, thirty seconds.  For whatever reason, even when it was sort of bright from the outside (strangely, for the moon couldn't have been out, and the streetlights were out as well), she figured out how to turn the light on.  I don't understand cats, or girls, or girl cats, all of the time.  But I don't need to do so?  Nope.

Well... on to waking up, or... something.  Later.

Awake again.

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It was about 16:00 when I went down.  It is 19:30 as I wake again.  I haven't hit such a crash in a long time.  Oh, sure, I get tired, and go on to bed, but not at an odd hour.  Then, I did wake up very early compared to usual, with days an nights being twisted again.  Rough.

More, while it got warmer up there, to 71 near me?  I was freezing.  I couldn't get warm until I tucked in, buried my hands in my arm pits, tucked my feet together, and made sure the blankets were covering me everywhere.  I was absolutely frigid.  Not sure why I was so warm this morning and so cold now.  It has nothing to do with the temperatures, those were actually inverse to my sensitivities.

It is 80, outside, currently.  Mostly overcast?  Enough to be blocking the sun solidly, currently.  Though it had been cooler earlier?  Right, but it usually does get warmer through the day... right.  Still, I have some idea that it has yoyoed a bit.  I think I had read nearly 82 even earlier, but then it dropped to 79.  Just a few degrees, probably relating to being overcast?  Cool wind can lower that a bit though too.  Never can quite tell.  It... almost sounds like thunder, out there, from time to time.  Can't be positive though.

Well, up.  But... what to do?  It is 81 in this front room, 75 in the rest of the house.  Too early and warm to start working.  Maybe in a couple of hours?  If it cools enough to open up, maybe.  Later.

I cannot stay awake!

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No idea why.  I was up, awake, sorting things.  Then, like a wave, exhaustion hit and started setting in.  I tried a few things, to no good.  I am going back to bed.  No choice.  Can't even remain in my chair, I will fall out if I continue to try.  Goodnight, again.

They are really having problems.

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Between amazon and ups, I'm not sure what is going on.  Two of the five packages which were supposed to have been delivered today didn't get here.  One of them simply wasn't here, the other had been torn open, and the product removed.  I notified, but... we'll see.  One of the items was sort of singular, so I doubt if that will be replaced.  The others?  Assuming I can actually contact anyone there?

Though, to be honest, it almost seems as if the delivery people are shifting things to other people.  As gifts to friends?  Or... some sort of strange way of receiving the items themselves?  I don't know.  But it seems like drivers are becoming questionable again.  Lower pay?  A broken near union?  So they steal, like they used to?  There was a time when getting a ups package was iffy.  Looks like those times are returning.

Then again, amazon is burning, from the inside?  Something seriously wrong is happening in there.  I suppose China closing shop, while playing covidiot nation of the century, isn't helping.  Though energy problems aren't helping, or the collapsing real-estate markets, or... really, the economy as a whole.  Not sure if this is going south faster than imagined, but it is cutting the legs out from under the big box stores?  Sure is looking like it.  The problem is, currently, they are the only source for some things.  I may begin looking at other sources, though.

The problem with online sources is they are even less secure than amazon has become.  The chance to have my card numbers stolen is increased.  The chance to simply be robbed, without ever receiving product, as well, is increased.  And local shops, when they carry some things, the price is insane.  I just am not sure.  Then again, in truth, perhaps the gig is simply up.  Buying and selling some things may just be at an end, more or less.  I'll find out in the near future.

Both items were listed as delivered.  I am pretty sure the empty package arrived empty.  If someone was going to steal from my porch, they would steal everything, not a partial order.  Yea.

Awake, early.

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It was cool, given that it is daytime, upstairs.  Well, and that I was up there.  It was 69/70 near me, 66 in the main.  But if felt so warm!  Usually, at that temp, I needed four blankets, which I now have up there.  Not today.  I had kicked one blanket off completely, and the other blankets were only haphazardly arranged.  Not for heat, warmth, but fore coverage... allowing as much cool air as possible.

Awake by around 13:00.  Hoping to... get going, if not sure that is possible.  It is 79 outside, and partly cloudy.  Looks like it could gather into a rain before long, though... not probably, just possibly?  Inside it is 77 up front here, and 74 in the main.

Dreams, of flying.  At great speed, and anywhere I wish.  I visited a few countries in South America, took a minor tour of Europe, went to a few other places in Asia.  Imagine being able to fly four or five times the speed of the fastest plane, and maintain it for many hours.  Still, when I got to a place, I would spend days to weeks there.  Then go on to the next place.  No reason to fly, for it's own purposes.  Like driving, when you are a child, it seems like magic, or fun.  But, when you get old enough, you... just want to drive home.  Anything else is profession or duty, or... until you get stuck at home?  Bleh.

I had hoped to get out today, but I don't think so.  Every part of the plan fell apart.  It... does that.  I would like to work, get a shower, do dishes, sort things.  But I don't know.  Odd how things work, or don't.  But, tomorrow?  I can hope.  A bit tired, a bit achy, a bit sleepy, but... not bad.  Just... a bit off the game.  At least I have food ready... when I can eat.  Later.

It was 62.

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At midnight.  Now, it is 61 out there.  I finished watering about an hour ago.  Just watered the front lawn, as the rest looks pretty good.  Hit two areas to make sure it got enough.  Then, just now, shut down shop as I think about sleep.  Rather early, but... good, if I can do it.

Through the evening, I did get the pork chops, chicken thighs, and pork roast grilled.  They all came out pretty good.  I sampled some of each, bagging and refrigerating the remnants.  Very tasty.  A bit rich, on their own.  Still, worth in from time to time.  I'll make veggies with some of it tomorrow.  Perhaps reheat the chops, and have those with eggs.

I had hoped to shower tonight.  I don't think it will happen?  I will brush my teeth, finish meds, and probably just go on to bed.  I guess, in the next few days to weeks, I'll find out just how tyrannical this nation has become.  Either all the rest of the politicians will step in line, or they will begin breaking ranks.  We'll see.

Goodnight.

Either they made a huge mistake...

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Or they really have all the levers and don't care.

Attacking Donald Trump, as they have, is either one of the biggest mistakes bureaucrats could have made, or they have all avenues controlled.  Which is it?  We will find out.  If they do not murder him, or at least imprison him, wounding him will only cause them far more problems than not.  Further, just imprisoning him?  I'll still vote for him, if I had to write him in.  I am not alone.

To be honest, barring murdering him, they just about guaranteed his election.  Now, I was going to vote for him, either way.  The end of Roe v. Wade... proved a point.  That was huge.  While I still don't believe he will ever build the wall, he just won't, the RvW thing was enough to show... not only a serious intent, but a capacity to do big, real, things.

However, I think a lot of people were on the fence about him.  He does tweet mean.  And he says the truth, and what he thinks.  People, in America, have become so corrupted, that truth is difficult for them to hear.  Shithole countries?  Then again, many lefties live in cities, which seem, now, to encapsulate shitholery.  They can't walk their downtowns without watching for human defecation, used syringes, the homeless, and aggressive bummery.  It's making them filthy rich, somehow, so they really don't want to hear such terms.  I had an uncle, who ran a pig farm.  The smell?  He said it was money.  I have to think a lot of top democrats think the same, only about human defecation odors.  Yea...

To be honest, saving them murdering him?  I think they just got Trump elected.  If... I was even more paranoid than I am, or paranoid in a slightly different way?  I'd suspect Trump was behind this.  Especially if he knows there is nothing to be found, and that anything "found", would be a plant.  I swear, he... might even have to balls to run with that.  I just don't have the feel that he did it.

Yes, unless they make him dead, they have just messed up in ways they can't even begin to understand.  If they kill him?  They are killing what is left of the olive branch from the right.  Though, I think, finally, even for him, he understands.  If he gets elected, into office, he won't let things slide again.  Heads will roll, departments themselves will be abolished, and many other changes will happen.  We will just have to work through the pain of what bureaucrats will try to do, to destroy the nation, on their way out.

Assuming elections are even currently possible.  The supreme court, and republican legislators and state and federal levels, are all kompromat, to some degree.  Democrats are completely sold.  Not to China, to Satan.  We will see how this plays.  But, if they made a mistake, only wounded the emperor?  It'll be a mistake they won't ever be allowed to make again.  Or is it all just a show?  RvW suggests not, or not completely.  We'll see.

A bit late.

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Which is fine.  Down at 08:21, I think.  Up at 17:00, nearly exactly, or a bit after.  It is 86 out there, humidity readings... I am no longer taking.  I have seen high humidity, in a desert, when I visited Desert Cat in the middle of their monsoon season.  This is not that.  If, too, I doubt if it is 28% humidity that the news has been suggesting.  The inside readings, of 35% to 57% or so, are probably more accurate... today, down here, it is reading 47%.  That I can believe.  Upstairs was 55%, this morning when going to bed, before shutting the windows.  Maybe, but maybe there is more moisture one level up?  Still, I believe my indoor readings over the outdoor meter I have, or what the news offers.

I have been thirsty as a typical devil lately.  If... typical devils are generally very thirsty.  I had been just drinking water.  Since I hadn't been doing much.  But... I am beginning to add electrolytes and sea salt, to my first drink of the day.  Then sipping my fill.  We'll see if that works.  I may also add vinegar to a sip, later on, with more electrolytes.  If water doesn't cut the grail, drinking even more won't.  No, I had to add something.  Just drinking a couple gallons wasn't doing a thing for the problem.

Laundry was completed.  I took a few things up this morning, but had to dig through to actually dress for the day.  Not doing much today.  Though I would like a shower, one more load of laundry... whites, after the shower, and to set up dishes.  It's not a lot, but it's a continuation of a slow start.

Found half a mouse in the kitchen.  Sassy was doing her job.  I'll never give her a problem for that, nor do I expect her to eat it all.  She is generally well fed, so that is more a... mobile vitamin and mineral supplement?  I am pleased that, even well fed, she goes after the little beastesess.  The riddance factor, but as I have said, I like cats because we share the hunting instinct.  I may not hunt much, in that way, mostly for health and bureaucratic reasons.  But I have altered how I hunt, and what I hunt, so that I may continue.  I search the best quality items for my projects, within a price range, and... what else might work versus the very expensive.

A recent catch? JIS screwdrivers.  Hmm?  Well, with older bikes, and some newer, though it works well with philips screws... better, it is said, than philips screw drivers, it is much needed for older (and maybe newer) Japanese bikes.  Philips screwdrivers will strip JIS screws (and often their own).  JIS?  Japanese Industrial Standard... a thing that is, actually, from the past.  They ended it as an official tool type in, 2012?  Or somesuch.  But, for now, they are still making them.

How long will they continue to make them?  Who knows.  Remember, the world industrial complex, due to free money and the creation of megacorporations (essentially, the business side of a one-world-government) are trying to devolve function and increase demand through lessor tools and equipment availability (the buy new, throw away old, don't fix, repair) manufacturing processes (despite gaining power because of supposed limits on commodities), better tools, nuts, bolts, and repair items, will be going away.  Start with tools.  But, then, sort out finding repair items.

So, hunt.  Right.  Yes.  Not the biological, but other things.  And, hunt I do.  And I understand why, and choose as wisely as possible.  Will see, shortly, if these were worth the trouble.  But they weren't purchase without thought.  Oh, if you have a Japanese bike?  And want to know if these were used/are required (whether you are using them or not)?  There will be a dot near the screw, in the upper right side, I believe.  It will be, I think, right on the bike, near the screw.  

Anyway, she hunted and I hunted.  We both got our target.  She made more of a mess, but all okay.

A few things today.  And the meats were thawed, so I put them in the fridge, but hope to cook those tonight.  Thicker chops, chicken drumsticks (or thighs), and a pork roast.  Should last me the week.  Mostly.  As well, I have enough beef crumbles to make another larger meal.  'Pasghetti'!  I didn't make that this last time, but next time, probably tomorrow, I will.

Now to wake, though.  Later.

It is 52 out there.

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Pleasant, if I am still in heavier pj bottoms and a long sleeved tshirt.  Thankfully it is cooler.

I have gotten the wash into the dryer, but just.  The other set was finally dry.  I suppose I could have been a little quicker with that, but... I don't have all that going yet tonight.  It is something.  And adds to a few other things I have done.  Not much, but much more than nothing.

I won't be doing much else.  Save closing shop, if I think I have already done that?  Not upstairs, but elsewhere?  I am just staying up long enough to get those clothes dry, and get them upstairs.  While not perfect, at least I am clean, and have clean clothes.  I... need to get to town, soon.  Things to do.  Always things to do.

So very tired.  I'll enjoy rest when I can get to bed.  It's just at 07:08.  I would have been to bed an hour or two ago, if it hadn't been for laundry.  Still, all good.  Goodnight.

An odd night.

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Not much done.  Hitting laundry, again, now that I remembered to check.  It didn't smell bad, so... that's good.  I hope.  Will know more when I pull it.  I did get the packages upstairs, and the tables.  And I have been feeding Sassy well.  And I did have dinner.  Still a bit hungry, not sure I will eat more though.

It is down to 52 outside, 71 hear near the computer.  So I shut the fans down, and closed the front door.  I'll shut up shop before too long, nearly completely.  And, when I go to bed, I'll shut it down up there, turning on ac.  Nothing fancy, it just means I don't have to wake up, in heat shock, if tomorrow goes hot.

I was right, about the news though.  It was supposed to go back to the low 90s.  It hasn't, or yet.  It has been ten to twenty degrees cooler.  Agenda, not truth.

Well, at least I am sort of recovering from the heat.  If it remains in the 80s, or lower, I will be able to begin working more, soon.  Perhaps tomorrow, maybe early next week.  I'll just have to try, find out.  I would like to get the laundry finished tonight, get a shower, and set up dishes.  Possible.  Probable?  I've been suggesting it is probable for a while now.  It... hasn't worked out.  But... I can hope.

Cooler.

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Almost 22:00.  Hungry, just not sure what to do about it.  Hmm, I do have burger, cooked up.  Perhaps a keto spaghetti dish?  But... that requires effort.  I just don't quite have it at the moment.  But, maybe, before long.

It had heated to 82 in here.  Which, today, seems hot.  Then again, I'm in heavy pj bottoms and a long sleeved tshirt.  It's... what I had available.  I was about to put laundry over, but realized there was laundry in there.  And, it was still moist.  So, I am drying that.  Hope it isn't moldy.  Bleh.  Anyway... I'll have something cooler to wear... sooner or later.

The outside had cooled to 66, 'reading' 100% humidity.  Not a lot, from 70, but... it's something.  I have the cave opened up, save upstairs.  Oh... I've been tinkering.  This room, near the computer, has dropped two degrees, to 80, with 43% humidity... or that is what it reads.  And, was 74 in the main part.  Which isn't quite cool, but isn't warm... hot...  depends on... things.

I haven't taken the tables up, but I did take the table topper up.  I suppose I can get those up, or one of them, when I go up to open up the upstairs.  I have been leaving it closed up the last few days.  Just... wasn't going to bed in time to wake and shake, in order to shut things down.

The clips arrived today, to hold the various layers of fabric to the tables, and bind the tables together.  The only thing remaining out is batting.  Though, most likely, I will put a cotton or other such fabric on top.  I won't be using this table for ironing, though.  The batting is polyester, but was the cheapest  thickest batting I could get.  It started with a theory.  Will find out if the theory works.  I may have to seek a cotton, if I really want to use it for ironing.  There is wool, but... that would be terribly expensive.  Then again, I think thick cotton batting will be pretty pricy, though not as pricy by far as thick wool.  Yea... I... will be figuring things out in time.

I can't wait to get this system set up, and see if it makes pattern cutting, or tracing then cutting on different paper, easier?  Then cutting out the cloth.  I just don't have room, or a good way to do that, currently.  Besides the state of the downstairs floors, and the lack of upstairs clean floors, the idea of getting down on the ground is... a bit beyond me.  I can sleep on the floor, I can't work there.  I simply don't have the flexibility.  Well, and my size, given the space, beyond those other things.

Closer.  By the end of the week, I should be able to begin prepping some things.  A shirt, from the long past... undershirt to be honest.  A vest or two, sorting how to add pockets, inside and out, for a timepiece, coin, or matches for the grill.  A chemise for my mother, chaste enough for morning duties, comfortable enough to sleep in, or even drag around in on hard days.  And, perhaps, the start of a few quilts.  Nothing fancy.  Man style, simple. solid colors, easy designs.

I will be asking about longarm fees.  For the quilt to my mother, or both of them depending on costs, a fleur-de-lis quilting pattern.  Though, that... may be beyond what I can afford, given the materials I will be using for the quilt.  Though, in time?  Maybe.  It just depends on the price and other costs.  I'd really like to have a bed and lap quilt done in time for Christmas.  Perhaps one out the door much earlier... but which?  And... if possible.

I am also reviewing fabrics for various things.  Some things are very expensive.  Better wools, silk, even linen, are... pretty pricey.  Cotton seems to be okay, but it adds up.  A short sleeve cotton poplin, for me, may well take between three and five yards?  Three for sure.  Depends on if patterns or plaids have to be lined up.  A plaid could easily take five yards.  The trick to that is to make three at a time, or five.  You can really reduce waste by scale.  I wonder if there is a program which would help with that?  Getting the pieces fitted most efficiently, given their measurements.  I am sure there is, though probably in some general engineering/architectural program, like CADD... too expensive for my tastes.  Always wanted the program, but last I looked it was running $1100?  For a single user?  And, is probably a buy once, pay yearly, these days?  A service on top of a product?  Keep the peasants out!

There might be another program, but it isn't going to be much less expensive.

I did put some meats out to thaw.  Hopefully to cook that up tomorrow.  A roast, chops, chicken.  Grill it all.  Would last a week, and more maybe.  I'll check the laundry, after I finish here.  Maybe take a shower in a bit.  Then set up dishes?  I'll... give it a shot.

I keep thinking of watering the grass, but we keep getting rain, or heavy due.  The grass has really greened up well, but weeds are staring to do their thing too.  Still, it is a nice thing to see.  I was worried, for a bit.  Hungry... I need to eat first.  Keto 'pasghetti'!  I am almost sure that is what will be next.  Later.

Up!

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Oh, well, something anyway.

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Trash and recycling, collected, out, and the barrels to the curb.  It... did wear me out.  So happy to have it done.  Very good.

Next, a shower.  I trimmed my whiskers earlier, much earlier, a few hours after I woke.  So very nice.  I needed to wash terribly.  Just... I couldn't.  I couldn't get to anything.  Not a lazy thing, just... no energy.

It is 49 out there?  Nice.  Really.  It looks like the sun is up.  How warm it will get today is anybody's guess.  But I could see it getting back to the 90s.  Or... not.  Very wet out there.  I still wonder if we aren't getting small parcels of rain, or extended sprinkles, at night?  I don't catch it, but then, last night I never really got up and out to check.  Just... sat.  It's... what I could do.

Maybe I should have gone to bed, but that... didn't, couldn't have, happened?  I was so tired, but unable to sleep.  Even now, absolutely exhausted.  Still, I will try to sleep.  Some water, and carrots, though.  Nothing fancy, but it's something.  Goodnight.  I hope.

Still awake.

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I just... couldn't sleep.  Nor did I ever get to work.  Well, I did get one bag of trash out?  I really need to get another bag out, and recycling.  If I can... figure out how to get up and going.

I did have a bit to eat.  Beside the beans and burger, taco salad, thing, I had celery, carrots, and peanut butter, and fatted coffee.  Not fancy.  Hungry, all night, that... was all I could get.  Hungry now, just... not hungry enough to do anything about it.  Meh.

While trying to figure out how to make something, or... how to alter a pattern, I was looking through the internet, for an answer to my query.  I never found it.  However, I did figure it out.  Mockups.  I had thought about cloth... I have some inexpensive fabric specifically for mockups.  However, this... would have taken a lot of fabric, full size.

Now, it's just a geometric solution.  So... it could be scaled... to some degree.  I... still don't want to cut into my stash, for a theory.  Or... mechanical understanding.  Ah!  Paper.  Further, with a slight amount of math, proportions, and geometry, perhaps some algebra?  Well, in there.  Yes, with just a bit, I can easily sort out a mini-mockup, using paper, and figure out the things I need.  Gussets, for underarms... and crotches in shorts.

Going with simple gym type shorts, initially.  Just to get the idea of various sizes, and such.  Then, to cargo shorts... probably initially in the mockup material.  Then, once I have a pattern that fits, and works for me, then get to ripstop, of some sort... get it nailed for that.  Then move on to full sized pants.  I keep looking for material, but it is so difficult to know which material is right.  Even on legit seeming sites, their products are dubiously described.

Well, and there are three materials which ripstop can be made from, typically cotton, nylon, and polyester (or blends of those quite often).  Further, there are many weights... sometimes given in ounces per square yard to denier, though possibly other ways.  As well, sometimes they use brand or generic names for things, or else.  It... gets a bit spooky, especially as expensive as some of those fabrics can be.

Anyway... at least I have solved, possibly, how to sort the patterning aspect of it... scaled for ease.  And, to be honest, that one trick is truly the first door to be opened.  But it is a significant one.  That doesn't solve a problem, that is a solution set which can solve many, many, problems.  Some not even fathomed at this point.

Well... on to get the last bag of trash out, and recycling.  Then take a shower?  Get to bed?  Oh, I hope so.  I might have a bit more of those baby carrots after I am done.  No more peanut butter.  Just carrots, and water.  Later, or goodnight.

It's the food!?!

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I did get food in.  And I am absolutely crashing for it.  It wasn't even all that much.  The remainder of beans and beef, with cheese and lettuce to make a salad.  Heated, then the salad added.  Very nice.  But absolute crashed my car!  I've been working at staying awake since, and am losing.

I'm still a bit hungry.  For me, that wasn't much food.  I may have a few fruit cups, but then will just go on to bed.  For a nap, though, or the night, I just can't say.  It is just hitting 19:30, and is 80 up here near the machine.  In the lower 70s elsewhere.  No real choice, staying up just long enough to get a bit more to eat.  Hmm, might try a fatted coffee, and a few beef sticks too.

I just can't get going!  Later, or goodnight.

The motorcycle that keeps popping into radar.

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Fancy?  It costs a bit.  But, it runs off-road, and on.  It's a reasonable fit.  It isn't a monster off-roader, nor a pure touring, but about as close as a mix, rather than compromises, as I can find.  The problem?  They can't keep them in the shops.  Selling out.  Probably jacking the prices?  Will find out soon enough.

When to bed?

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No idea.  It was past what should have been sunup.  So... after six probably.  But not by much?  Or was it already past eight?  I... just...  I looked.  Both down here, and upstairs.  It just didn't hold into memory.

It was about 14:30 when I woke?  Pretty close.  The sun was out.  I woke in a hurry, fearing it would be really hot already!  But, no.  It had warmed some, at 74 up there, near me.  But that is pretty usual... with the ac, during the day, on sunny days.  But, I didn't have the ac on.  Windows and fans.  It was 73 in the more central part of the room, up on a table.  Not... bad.

But, I didn't want to risk it warming.  So I shut everything down, turned on an alternative fan, and turned on the ac.  Then I came downstairs.  It is 73 to 74 down here, everywhere, too.  Very nice, really.  I had left two windows open, but I usually leave those open, even on hotter days.  It seems, a little breathing, from the cooler parts of the yard, make life easier.  Without it, it gets no warmer, but much more stifling in here.  So those remain open.  It had gotten cool enough last night that I could shut all but those two windows down and still enjoy the low 70s.

I haven't checked outside.  Would have to dress.  Not quite up to that, quite yet.  It'll happen before long.  Now, on to waking.  And, with things already cooked, I could make something to eat rather quickly.  I'm thinking taco salad.  Sure, it has a can of beans in there, but... Yea.  So be it.  Besides, I needed a bit more than what else I had, keto, at the moment.  For several reasons.  And it worked.

Well... on to my day.  Maybe today I can begin in on the list.  It is cool enough, the sun is out, I am better rested, fed, on meds... mostly.  Still hit or miss, but more hit.  Good afternoon and day.

Supper was good.

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But that was that.  I had thought today was supposed to start out with sunshine.  It may get there.  For now it is foggy.  Thick fog.  Perhaps 150 yard visibility.  But, if there isn't a thick layer of clouds up there, the sun often burns fog off, and usually fairly quickly.  I just don't know if there are clouds up there or not.  It is 53 out there this morning.  Last I checked.  And 73 here near the computer.

I did get the various burger put up, stored in the fridge.  I would hate to waste it.  Already lost the chicken.  I'll have more taco salad, then, in the near future, make beef, rice, and mushroom... or spaghetti... using the keto alternatives.  Those really aren't bad, I just couldn't find them right off this evening.

Well... on to bed.  Oh... another day dream.  I got shot like... fourteen times.  Hurt, the pain followed me back.  No, I... didn't die.  I just don't get to die, even in my dreams it seems.  Still, I'm good with whichever way it goes.  Pain?  Sometimes I do think it's all that I have left.  Not to endure, but all that keeps me here, and as real as I can be.  Not a note of dissatisfaction, just a realization.  I'm... good with it, really, finally.  Actually, it's sort of funny, in some odd way.  Not even a completely dark way.  When you move past yourself enough to be mostly beyond pain?  Mostly?  Things look different.  Some might call it insanity, I call that... immaturity.  Pain avoidance, is like work avoidance, or commitment avoidance.  Not that seeking pain is better, but fearing it?  Avoiding it at all cost?  Immature.  It's the price of life.

No shower, no dishes, no laundry, dragging ass, barely moving, but at least I had some better food today.  Amen.  Goodnight.

Never sure.

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The burger was good.  It wasn't even on the edge of being bad.  Same with the chops.  Which sort of surprised, me, since the chicken drumsticks were not only bad, they were... terribly bad.  I can taste even a touch of bad.  Neither were even slightly off.  So... thankful.

The chops were so very thin, but offered a good bite to eat.  It's... been a while.  Still, it wasn't enough.  I got to frying the burger, in quarters.  I think there was between two and three pounds?  Closer to two?  As I was frying the last quarter, I added a can of beans.  Then, when that was finished, put that over a bed of cheddar, then added lettuce.  I made this one rather warm, spice wise.  Still, it was wonderful.

I often eat that whole pan, or used to do that.  No more.  I had a third of the pan, and that was enough.  More than enough.  Still, it tasted fantastic, delicious.  But... one smaller serving was plenty.  I'll put the rest up shortly.  So very happy that those were good.  A fatted coffee with it, and a glass of water shortly.

Then, in a bit, a shower.  I am pretty sure I can set up dishes after.  Laundry?  If possible.  But, I think so.  Day dreaming, but it isn't mine?  Now, her dreams, through my eyes, or else though?  I... can never be sure with that one.  Yes, she is... on my mind lately.  Not sure why, nor do I really care... why.  I don't think either of us had completely wrong thinking, or doing, nor right.  We did try.  We did... enjoy.  We still do?  I do.  And... we took our turns?  Maybe.  Later.

Pork chops.

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It hasn't rained more this evening, after stopping sometime midafternoon, early evening?  Something like that.  Sure is wet out there, but all good.  I haven't had to do any watering.  More, there is something about rain water that is better, and won't overdo it?  Very strange but true.  Or... from my experience.  As for the dry patches, that has to do with something about the soil.  Too sandy?  To acidic?  Various things.

I got the grill going.  It takes a bit, if it is worth it.  The chicken pack was bad.  So out it went.  The chops smelled okay, but I had to check.  And they were.  Very nice.  As well, the burger smelled good.  Though... that can be tricky.  I'll be frying some of that up in a bit.  I'll know very quickly if that is okay.

It feels so very much later, like four or six, but it's just a bit after two.  It's down to 71 here near the machine, 57 outside last I checked.  Cool, but... not cold.  Even with the rain, it just hasn't gotten cold... the feel isn't there, for me.  Very strange.  This should be nigh on freezing.  I think the trick was that the temp lowered a bit at a time.  It dropped first into the upper 60s, then the lower 60s, and only at nights into the high 50s.  It's been a slow creep to slightly cooler weather.  I just hasn't bottomed out.  It's the darkness that is making me sleepy.  I realized that when I realized I didn't need warmer clothes during the cooler weather.

Yes, I'll get to frying the burger, and making something.  As well as getting a shower taken.  Shower first?  Trimming whiskers first, then a shower, then a meal.  And, then, if I don't crash from fueling, I'll begin a few chores.  Dishes, laundry, some cleaning in the bathroom.  Who knows.  No promises.  I have doubts.  But... I like having a list, just in case.

I keep getting distracted.  Went to do something, and... forty minutes went by.  Oh well.  I'll... get on to cooking the burger, then more, hopefully.  Later, most likely, or goodnight if it all falls down.