Sleepy, but...

.

.

I have things I wish to do.  Nothing fancy, not much.  Staring with a shower, and setting up dishes.  Laundry is caught up, if not sorted well.  Washed but languishing.  Bleh.  I'm having a fatted coffee, to try to push through.  It really hasn't helped of late. Just... still... a bit warm.

It finally cooled a bit more, to 62 outside.  But was 70 until rather late, actually early into the morning.  It dropped a goodly bit, right at the end.  But not enough to cool the cave off.  It is 75 in most places, if only 76 here near the machine.  It just isn't cool.

Mostly to partly cloudy.  The mix makes it difficult to gauge.  But I'm going with between forty and seventy percent, depending on the moment and observational clumsiness.  So mixed, it's difficult to sort out well, completely.  It could rain, at any time... or shortly.  Though it could toss sprinkles from some of the larger clouds?  You never can be certain.

It... isn't August.  Not weatherwise.  It is fall.  This is September, or even October, weather.  But we were having August weather the last two weeks of last month.  Fair enough, I suppose.  I am always glad to escape the deeper summer.  As to it getting too cold, too fast?  Even with prices of fuel skyrocketing, I am getting better at maintaining a more constant temperature, in here, with less fuel, and using clothing, layering, to drive through the cold better.  Though, the concern about cold is less to do with me, than agriculture.

Which... is why I have food stores put up, though, too.  Enough?  You can't have enough.  All you can have is enough to, in worst case, buy time to sort things out to a better solution.  That is, assuming you can even keep what you have, protect it.  You... can't, not alone.  Still, it's... there are starts, opportunities, and such.  The world is getting dangerous, though.  More with what I am familiar.

Interesting, as I... walk into the dubious future, I see the sad, angry, unhappy, faces of people realizing... things I have finally become... comfortable with.  The world isn't fair.  If it, or people, in it, can kill you, they will or will try.  Sometimes for no reason at all.  Nothing you own is yours.  While the NWO meaning of that is false, the truth of it remains.  Not your possessions, property, even body.  Nothing.  If your life isn't Gods, it belongs to the dirt.  Your choice.  But it isn't yours.  If you can't defend it, keep it, it isn't yours.  And... you can't.  Oddly, you can keep it no better than I could throw it away.

Yes, I see people coming to my realizations.  Some of the hate that I already realize some things.  Some are trying to continue in their old lies.  But, as people fold into misery, I blossom.  Not... because I am happy with what I am seeing.  But because I am grateful for all I have had, what I still have, and with my relationship with God.  I really hope some people wake up to that.  It isn't what you have.  It isn't who you know.  It's not your position, wealth, access.  None of those are you, or important.  If you don't know what is, and embrace it?  Find it.

Even people having to be apart, from friends, peers, coworkers.  Depression?  I get it.  I had to go through it.  But with even less access to others than most people, even in lockdown.  I've been locked down for decades.  I feel sorry for what people are going through.  Even without actual lockdowns, fewer jobs, schools not being available, and such?  Alone.  I... get that.  Still, I'm telling you, don't let that break you.

Find a hobby.  Doesn't have to be fancy.  Find an inexpensive pocket knife, and begin to carve.  Learn to hand stitch things... first just learn the techniques, with what you have.  In each, or other hobbies, then improve your tools, or supplies, over time.  Start from the start.  Find others who could teach, or share.  Though, to be honest, this is a lonely world.  Often, at least for me, I am on my own.  Almost always.  You can do it.

No, I see them going into and through the darkness I have been through.  And despite their pride, or belief they don't deserve it, or fear, I know it is only going into and then beyond the darkness where growth begins.  Finding what is true, rejecting what is false, realizing it has almost nothing to do with you, if... by God's will, it seems still to be all for you.  Take that as desperately humiliating, though, not as a cause for personal pride... and you... will find your way through.  I don't think everyone can handle humility.  Unfortunate.  Then again, I... couldn't... for the longest time.  If my suicides were less of pride, and more from the pain.  Odd, I don't even have that anymore.  Still seem to make it through.  *grins*

Well... on to... a few things.  Don't let the world bring you low.  It's difficult.  No, it's impossible, unfair, and brutal.  Roll with it, relax, pray, and just... do.  It's not about you, but it is all for you.  Good morning and day.