A really nice day.

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It is 64 out there, reading 100% humidity, but... no.  Not even close.  Though, with rain hitting and missing, and a lot of it, it is wet... just not humid.  Different things.

Inside, with a fan going in this room and a few windows open, it is 74 everywhere, save being 75 right here next to the computer.

I'm actually a bit tired, from the dark and cool.  I... can't call it cold.  For whatever reason, I just don't get that sensation, even outside.  It's... pleasantly warm?  That's how I'd put it.  But, between both the cooler temps and the darkness, staying awake has been a trick this afternoon.

I'll get something to eat, before too long.  And, I'd really like to work.  A shower, dishes, trimming whiskers, laundry, a shave, work in the living room, upstairs, in the downstairs bedrooms.  And... more.  Not... likely.  Would push through, if possible.  But still recovering from the heat, while also crashing for the cool and dark.

I simply don't recover fast, nor can I handle changes well.  Fragile, to a degree.  It's just the way of it.  Still... I am going to try to push on through, somehow, to somewhere.  Oh, and... since it is staying cool, I really ought to shut most things down, upstairs, just turn on the big fan, open a few windows, and cut electricity.  Still, doing much better regarding electricity this year.  

Even with price increases, I have used ~$20 less per month?  So, a good deal less electricity... I think I went from... let me find it here... ah, 769 to 653 kwh, from last year to this.  I think I have been lowering energy use quite a bit, generally.  Plus, with the gas bill being $7 or so... utilities are good this year.  Still, will be looking to cutting as much as possible going forward.  If they want to get stingy and expensive, they may find themselves with customers who are cutting themselves free.  They want to be jerks about it, let them eat half their bonus, and pay.  It gets sorted, in time.

Single ac use, and usually only during the day... plus I haven't played games in... months.  They have killed gaming.  No games to play that are worth playing, not broken one way or another, not woke, etc.  Well, and they are even weaponizing the consoles.  From listening in, to watching every communication, even watching decisions.  Just like phones, they are spy tools.  On top of that, the new consoles can't be found at the prices they promised.  I am highly suspicious they created the bots, to by the devices, to sell them at a non-loss price.  They fucked up.

It looks like Japan's economy may end up breaking their government's ability to cheat for their favorite companies, or to the level they have.  And, with consumerism on the skids, too, there is going to be limits to the companies competing.  I would suggest, if a company like Sony really wishes to survive?  It lose the big brother aspect, figure out what the core consumers want, and deliver that without selling us out on the flipside.  Like forcing netflix and disney into the first slots of show viewing.  Give us those controls, even to eliminating the services  we don't want, instead of taking money to goose lineups.

Remember who, ultimately, is paying your bills.  Forget at your peril.  And, yea, it looks like they forgot.  Then again, game devs are completely ignoring core gamers.  They have to be being paid, or induced in other ways, to destroy their model.  Or, their beancounters have gotten control, and can't see that cashing in today, without paying attention to retention of the customer base, will cost everything.  I don't mind if all the big companies collapse, at this point.  They aren't serving my wants or needs.  I have not only stopped buying, I have stopped playing.  I am not alone.  And I have all the time in the world to play.  Maybe not on a regular schedule, and I couldn't play as often as I'd like even then... I just can't.  But I could play a lot.  I haven't even heard of a game, recently, for near or distant release, that I would play.  Nothing.  Not even Fallout 5, which is ten years out even so.  I won't trust the game.  They have been going south, and down in quality, and becoming woke, for some time now.

Anyway... I'd still like to figure out how to get to some things.  A shower, dishes started, anyway.  And, maybe, laundry.  I really need clean clothes, if a clean body too.  It's been a rough, hot, difficult, few weeks, months.  Sure hoping to get rested, revived, and back to it.  Later.

Cool and wet.

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Down around 06:30, give or take an hour?  Just a guess.  up at 15:00, give or take a dime.  It was 68/70 upstairs.  Sort of a surprise.  It seemed warmer.  Then again, while going to bed, not only did I get another blanket, just one.  Then I made the bed, so it wasn't so messy.  Between one and the other I slept wonderfully.  Okay, I have sorted sleeping too cold out.  Now to try to get my days and nights turned beck around.

That... is weather and health dependent.  I have some limits.  But, I can always try.  Outside is 60, it is overcast, and raining.  It looks to have been raining through the night and through this day.  At the very least, through the early to very early morning, to now, off and on?  It is coming down in a slow by steady sheet, a beautiful thing to watch, when thirsty.

It is 72 to 74 down here, 74 right here at the machine.  I opened up a bit, mostly for a bit of fresh air.  Oh, something, why am I so warm?  Hot?  It must have been the extra blanket, and sleeping warm.  I'll figure it out.  I should be cooling before too long.  If I can cool, to my preferred temp, I might be able to work.

Amazing lot of rain, all here of a sudden.  I'll take it.  Seems we needed it.  A bit surprised, to one degree.  But everything, as I had mentioned, was indicating that the monsoon was upon us.  How about this, the side of me which expects yesterday, today, and tomorrow, to be based on averages, is surprise.  The part of me that is dynamic, sees and expects changes in patterns, and looks for patterns to understand the possible changes, was not only not surprised, was expecting this.

I am trying to think what to call the visuals of a soft rain?  Visual static?  Spectral mist?  Ah, but the sound, too.  The sound is nearly as imperceptible as the drops in motion.  I enjoy the idea.  Just... enjoying, watching and thinking.  I keep wanting to go out and stand in it.  I have.  But it just isn't all that cooling.  To me.  If it were thrillingly refreshing, I might, I will.  But not until.  Might be user error, as mentioned, I am quite warm.

What a wonderful day.  And not as late as I had suspected.  It felt like 16:30 to maybe even 18:30.  It is just lunging toward 16:00 now, a score of minutes to go.  All good, I have a bit of a day to enjoy.  And, maybe, get some work done through.  Have a great day.  Later.

I thought to be abed much earlier.

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I just... forgot to go.  I checked, not long ago.  It had rained.  It may still be raining, off and on.  Not certain.  Quite wet out there.  Which makes me think, when smelling rain earlier, though it appeared dry, it probably had rained earlier, too.  We are getting moisture.  And, for this time of the August, a lot of it.  Could use it though.  They say the reservoir has nearly emptied?  Not sure what this will do, but it... won't hurt.  If nothing else, I haven't had to water the lawn.  It is getting more water than I could provide with all my efforts.

At 06:35, it's about time to go on to bed.  I did shut most of the house down an hour or two ago.  Not sure if it is still raining, or cloudy, but hearing drips... somewhere.  Not in the house, just off the roof.  Or, maybe that is a slow rain, occasionally popping on the metal roof?  Not sure, but there is definitely the sounds of water droplets hitting somewhere.  Too tired too be sure where.

On to bed.  Goodnight.

Just at one.

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A minute away, but who is counting?  Better not be you!

It was 65, last I looked, about fifteen minutes ago.  I made dinner, which was quite pleasant.  Nothing fancy.  The last of the pork roast, potatoes, a fatted coffee, and water as well.  Thirsty as well as hungry.  I opened the place up, a bit, while prepping dinner.  Not all of the options, just a few easy ones.  No use, in my opinion.  A few openings, at this point, will do.  For good or ill, there isn't a lot opening the whole house adds to just opening half the place.  And, yes, I get tired of opening and shutting everything, day after day.

Now, strangely, while it had just cooled to 78 in this front room?  I am... quite comfortable.  Did humidity drop?  According to my meters, it has, at least outside.  But I'm not convinced humidity was anywhere near the highs registering, save when it was raining.  If, I suspect, it was higher than the readings given for the local.  Still, It may have come down.  As well, if I don't currently have a meter for it, I would guess barometric pressure has fallen... or risen?  Perhaps a lot?  Maybe.  All I am saying is, I think there have been changes, which are making it seem cooler.  Though, perhaps too, taking meds, more or less, better than had been the case, perhaps that is allowing higher tolerances?

All I know, for absolute certain, is that I feel better.  I am handling the 80 mark better.  And, actually, am freezing at night, while I sleep.  I'll... grab another blanket or two for up there.  Oh, I have a heavy wool blanket, like a saddle blanket.  Thick, heavy.  As well, I have a very nice, top of the line, type blanket... and it is doubled.  Plus I have one of those really warm throws.  It should be warm.  It should be hot.  But, no, I... wake up needing to wrap and cover and... else.  All good, I'll just add a few blankets to my kit.

Thunder?  Yes, I've been hearing the rumblings for a while now.  While listening to a vid, it can be thought to be from the video.  But, finally, with nothing playing in the background, I definitely caught it.  I suspect, then, that it may well rain.  I hope so.  I like the thought of it, in any case.

Comes in handy.

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A loud knock.  Neighbors.  Need climbing gear.  I... have some of that.  Rope, of several sorts, harnesses.  They didn't seem to need much else.  Said sure, for a dollar.  Got the dollar.  I'll frame it, too.

A hole, I am told.  Deep, 25 feet or more.  Don't know where it leads.  They will find out?  Oh, headlamp?  Ah, it even worked.  So, there was that too.  Told them to be careful.  Know they won't, not really.  But... they'll make it.  I remember the days.

Now I need to eat something.  The last of the pork roast, some veggies, and a fatted coffee or water, or both.  Hmm... a shower first?  Maybe.  Later.

Well, back up.

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Oh, I thought I had gotten up.  Nope.  Went back upstairs to change clothes, and woke about half an hour ago.  I didn't even see the lights going out.  Must have been very tired.

When I woke, I checked outside.  It is, was, only 80.  And it smelled like rain if it doesn't look like any fell, or recently.  But it sure smells like rain.  I was wondering why it was so cool upstairs.  It as 68 and 72 near me.  And, yes, that's cool.  Cold.  I need to take another blanket or two up, if that is going to be the way of things.  

At 73 or higher, up to 76, I can sleep with just a sheet or such.  Above that I probably can't sleep.  Below that, 72 and down (with a fan), I sleep like the dead.  I can sleep down to 40 in the raw.  Probably less, I used to keep the window open in the winter.  When I first moved in, I couldn't sleep well when it was above 68.  I have changed, a bit.  Yes, summers were terribly miserable.  Still are, mostly.

Packages arrived.  Olive oil, onion powder, things mostly like that.  Though a pattern came.  Getting closer to beginning, I decided to look at the instructions.  Ugh!  Those are horrible!  With or without... what?  I don't know what that is!  And, just the instructions?  Full of terms I have never heard, or seen put that way.  I'll... have to look up terms until I can sort out what these dimwits are implying.  I think they must write these so as not to be understood.  A threshold thing.  They do that in many fields, and they do it just, to be honest, for assholery.  Oh, yes, they did it in engineering, like none other I suspect.  So, yeah, I'm used to it.  But I still don't like it.  

Oh, and got 10" fabric shears.  Not sure I will need them, but...  And I am trying Kia 8" shears.  I... am just curious.  I hear people say this and that, most likely, if you have shear for ten years?  And never get them sharpened?  Or twenty, or from your grandmother, who also never sharpened them?  Guess what, new shears will be sharper!  Sparkling midwits who just wish to spend money!  Fair enough, don't we all.  Anyway.  I want to compare apples to apples.  Gingher versus Kia, 8" fabric shears.  I'll let you know, in time.  And Klein scissors, for all else.  Yes, I actually researched scissors, long ago.  Kia didn't show up in my initial searches, strangely.  Or I might have started with those.  They are both foreign.  Kleins are, or are supposed to be, American made.  At least none of the (?) are said to be made in China.  But... you know how that goes.

Hungry.  I'll sort something out before too long.  Later.

That was a surprise.

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A call.  I thought it would probably be a hoax call.  Still, I thought I'd see.  It was my brother.  Initially I was a bit worried.  But I answered as quickly as possible, which ended up being quick enough.  Since I hadn't heard from him in so long, I worried that, maybe, something was wrong with mom.  But, no... just... calling to talk.

Having gone to bed after six, I am pretty sure, a noon call was a bit early.  Still, I wanted to make sure he could talk his head off, if he wanted.  Mostly listened.  Though I did commiserate.  I told him that the first fifteen years out, I tried hard to end it.  Draino.  He said he was there, got a call from the life-flight.  I said I didn't remember calling.  He said, no, the flight crew had called the family.  I hadn't known that either.  But, yeah.  I told him I haven't met, or heard of, anyone else who survived draino consumption.  I've heard of others, but none that survived.  Yea, I get the pain he's going through.  And, still, if we are here, we gotta do.

Talked a bit about bootcamp.  Theirs, Air Force, was similar to mine, Navy.  And that first payday... so small, because we had to pay for our clothes and all sorts of things.  He got injured in the AF, but made it to retirement.  And more.  But, one day, he went to bed and the next he couldn't walk, had no choice but to finally seek surgery.  Three vertebra had to be removed, two others had to be... adjusted, and bone fragments from the accident had to be removed from the nerve entries into his spinal column... oh, and the ridges had to be removed.

He is still in horrible shape.  He can walk, mostly.  But he has a lot of limits.  More than I have, in some ways.  If we probably aren't too far apart in capacity?  Depends on the day.  I can still pull off miracles.  I am not sure he can.  Though, those miracles might cost a month of near dirt-napping, I can, sometimes, do them.

Good long talk.  His daughter has one more year for her masters at Colombia.  His second daughter is a senior this year?  Sheesh, but they grow up fast.  Anyway... I am awake, now.  For a bit?  It was cold up there, 70, 72?  Near me.  Cooler in the rest of the room.  It doesn't exactly make sense, but I'll take it.  Though, I really would like to get another blanket or two up there.  Very strange.  Later. 

Almost one.

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It is down to 64, maybe 65, out there.  Still 80 in here.  Oh well.  Two salads down.  The last one was a bit more peppier tasting than the first one, had time to meld.  If I got a little shot from it, you would definitely have been like a fish on a hook.  Oh, I enjoyed it.  You would have only if... you enjoy some bite.  Still, I think I'd like to get pork roast and veggies for a late supper.

Still haven't showered, or done anything else.  Hope to.  Not promises.  Doubts.  Even so, I... would like to give it a shot.  We'll see.

I just didn't want to water the lawn tonight.  I think it's early.  Tomorrow, most likely.  The lawn was still quite damp, last I checked.  I actually worry about there being too much water.  It should be ready tomorrow evening.  If I can, I most likely will.

I'll get the tables upstairs shortly, and the topper.  I won't set them up, quite yet.  Just set them near where they will be arranged.  I have some things to rearrange and sort to have room for a table.  This, mostly, will be a standing table.  Tables, really, since there are two, but they will be combined so as to be as one.  The legs are adjustable, so I will have them set for me to stand near.  Makes it easier to cut.  I think I have a chair or stool or three, that could be used around the table in case I need to sit.

I hope the thing works out, as I am hoping.  If so, it will give me a place, not on the floor, to cut patterns and such.  I think, beside all else, the self-repairing cutting cards should fit well for some things.  Though, honestly, those might work well whether I am using shears or cutting wheels.  And, they are very evening.  I have two 52" by 36" (or so) pads.  I ordered one... it just seemed lost, taking weeks.  I attempted to cancel that one, since it seemed lost, and ordered another.  They got the first one to me, on a Saturday no less.  So... since it was here, I kept it.  And just kept the replacement.  Expensive, but quite fantastic too.  I have some serious gear, tools, notions, and such for sewing... if... I... could ever get to real sewing!

But, as mentioned, in that video?  The room required is rather large.  The tools needed... more than imagined.  Not all are required, but one thing that really is needed, is space.  More so for someone my size.  Not only do patterns spread out largely, but I need a lot of space, just for my body.  I can't, won't, work in a cramped tiny little area.  Which... is why I haven't started things up yet.

Still, getting close.  Taking my time.  Setting things up, getting things in, in time I should be quite well set.  The second table, bought last month, which I thought would open things up, did provide more elbow room for machines and some smaller things.  But not enough for patterns, or... more... patterns and me.  If I was smaller, maybe.  Still, not a waste.  Would have been needed.

I do have patterns, mock up materials, and much else.  Really, just waiting on the last of the bits for the table(s).  I suppose I could try to clear the area, a bit, tonight.  But it really is too hot for much.  Cooler up there?  I suppose.  I just need it to be cooler, generally, before I can do as much work as I would like.  

Whatever...  A shower, for sure.  Maybe dishes and a load of laundry at least started.  Maybe something upstairs?  In the living room?  Oh, but pork roast first?  Ugh.  Later, or goodnight.

Olive oil was found.

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I wasn't sure I had any left.  The other day I began rooting around.  And, low and behold, I found the other bottle.  I bought two, came that way, but of better quality at a slightly reduced price by buying two at a time.  And, I am sure it is actual extra virgin.  You can find you.  But, to be sure?  You have to find certified.  And, really?  I'd go with European.  Our FDA is completely compromised.  Not that their aren't forgeries.  China, it's what they do.  Though quite a few countries do that, just not to that level.  Simply, there are no guarantees in life.  Certainly not in commerce.  You can't afford guarantees.

I have more on the way.  It seems to hold up well enough, in the basement, closed up.  But, this one has been brought up, and put into use for my first vinegar and oil salad dressing in some time.  Tasty.  Really.  I used a red wine vinegar, that comes with the mother, as well as spices and herbs.  I always put at least a bit of hot spice in there.  Just enough for me to get the idea of hot, but without actual heat, this time.  It... would probably bring most of you to your knees.  If I want it to have actual heat, for myself, I have to use habanero at least, though ghost pepper and carolina reaper are what I keep on my shelf for more like a... bit of heat.  Even those, unless I use like a tablespoon, are really only... more spicy.  They aren't hot, unless, as mentioned, I bury the food in the flecks.

Wonderful.  Truly.  And, a cool meal.  Still hungry though.  Perhaps another salad?  I want meat, but it's just a bit hot for it.

I checked outside at about 18:30, it was 87, at 97% humidity (according to my gauge).  Earlier, when it was still 90, it was more like 87% humidity.  So the gauge does go down.  I still think it might be a bit broken, with water inside.  Though, since it is going down, and back up, maybe it is accurate?  Seems crazy to me.  I haven't ever seen it 100%, or this close.  But, then, I have always been reading from inside the house, and that is reading 49% (down here, near the computer).  I just don't know.  

I did look, at one of the more common weather services.  It is reading 28% humidity?  Very strange.  And, while I have doubts about that, I think, by feel, that is far closer than the 97% I am getting.  Just... saying.  Perhaps the wood the meter is attached to has absorbed moisture, and the heat is steaming it out?  Though, and again, I don't completely trust "the news".  They have an agenda and won't stop from crushing real newsmen or the truth to push their agenda.  Must suck to have spent so much money, and crushed so many people, to be absolutely disbelieved be everyone with an eye even partly able to be on the ball.

Now, fanboys, of either side, BRICS or the US/Euro boondoggle, are both going to find it doesn't work out well.  At this time, China lost complete face.  Now, was that planned?  As much by them as by the West?  Some like to believe that China is independent and Sovereign.  Much like Russia.  No more than the US, at this time, or the European Union, or even Britain.  Everyone is working for someone.  And, it's looking, more and more, like that someone is the same one.  And, not a good one.

As to China?  I have almost no doubt they will eventually attack Taiwan.  No choice.  That much lost face, for a dictator type, is too expensive.  If your frienemies, in a communist country's rulership, smell fear or weakness, they will come after you.  If he loses, expect a heart attack, stroke, early retirement to "spend time with family", or such.  It won't be a revolt, as we know them.  If he wins, expect an attempt to strongarm Taiwan into surrender.

China cannot beat Taiwan straight out.  They don't have the ships, or enough air superiority to get enough of those ships, with enough men, over the sea between the two, or supply and resupply those troops.  Now, as with Tibet, they defeat of Taiwan wouldn't come from the outside.  It would be from the inside.  So, whoever could turn off radar?  Or shut those and other defenses down?  Or leave this or that open for attack without any early warning?  That person, or those persons, should be observed very closely.  Between bribery and attacks on their family in the mainland, to all sorts of tactics, China will be trying to control those people.

As well, politicians have to be watched, so they don't simply surrender.  But, barring that, China doesn't have a way to win.  And, even then, I think it may well end up being far messier, from internal separatists, than is expected.  Not that it would matter, at that point.  Look at what has happened to Hong Kong... completely kompromat.  All fight gone.  Crushed, owned, done.  And far quicker than anticipated.  Though, once a few things happened, I realized it was over.  Thanks, Britain.  Between selling out and their weakness, not sure they had much choice.

But, China is going down.  Russia is going down.  The West is going down.  This is a war without bombs, but is just as effective.  Don't be surprised if, near the end, as the ability of nations to withstand this onslaught, that nukes don't fly.  If, too, I am suspecting that is exactly what the West wants.  And, they may get it.  It's a numbers reduction.  Plus, as people eventually sort out the vax thing?  The whole covid thing?  Without nukes falling down, I think some of the 1% would otherwise end up either chased down and murdered in the streets, or tried and then rightly hung.  For them, nukes probably seems better?

We'll see.  Closer to a nuke slugfest than we have been in a long, long, time.  Perhaps, in truth, closer than ever.  It'll start small.  Think Taiwan.  Perhaps Ukraine, or some of the near NATO nations importing weapons into Ukraine.  Tactical, small, targeted, limited.  Though were it goes from there will be a whole other thing.  With bidet in office, and the jobber right behind him, I could see a full or partial retaliatory.

Tick-tock, tick-tock, we'll see.

Staying steady.

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Right, pretty much, where it was when I first looked, at 90 to 91, a very good thing.  Warm enough to get you, when you step out.  But it doesn't quite pummel you into the dirt.  Just... lets you know it is summer, and you are out in it.  How I handled it, as a child, is a whole other thing.  Then again, I wasn't ill.  We didn't have ac, and even fans were limited.  Those square fans, and only like, perhaps, three in the house?

Colorado summers were hot, too.  But less humid.  Not quite Utah arid, but definitely not Iowa humid either.  Though, hot?  I am thinking more like in the mid 80s?  On the plains, near the border with Kansas.  I think so.  There were hotter days, but they were rare.  And, we had storms more frequently.  But, summers were longer?  The growing season was longer, more like Iowa.  Though elevation makes a difference.

When younger, though, humidity just doesn't mean the same thing.  Younger and healthy, you can push on through.  There are limits, of course.  But youth and health grants you much more than age and illness can provide.  I keep trying to push through, but it just isn't going to really happen.  I'll just have to make do with work in the spring and fall, and just survive the other seasons.  Mostly.

Yea, I'll get a shower shortly.  Then restart dishes.  And, then, get laundry for tomorrow.  My favored pants have both been used and need to be washed, as well as the shorts I prefer.  And, a couple of tshirts to be ready for... whatever.  I'd like to get most of my summer clothes ready and together.  And, when fall hits, get them put up for the year.  Some things, like my pants, do double duty.  I just wear long underwear or such, in the winter, to compensate.  But shorts go up.  And, I think, now that I have more long sleeve tshirts, I will be putting short sleeve tshirts up.  Or most of them.  Sometimes short sleeves still work.

Anyway... first a meal.  I am thinking fresh veggies, pork roast, and a fatted coffee.  Nothing fancy, but it works.  I have stopped using protein.  I am wondering if that is the problem with my arm, shoulder, joints?  I'll give it a few weeks, or month, off, to see.  If the problem remains, I will stop blaming protein powder.  

Yes, food, then a shower, then on to some work.  Later.

Awake, finally.

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Upstairs was 70 and 72.  I had some hope that outside would be cooler, given that.  Outside is 90, so... and it may yet get warmer... hotter.  Inside, downstairs is 77 or 78, front or back, and 79 near the machine.  Just about to finish heating up.  Three more hours, maybe four, of slow but certain increases to the thermometers.  Fine.  I got a good break.  Needed it, got it, now back to summer.

Dreams, again, last night.  I can't remember what they were.  Travel.  Foreign places.  Became a nomad, of sorts.  Several different dreams, all long, involved, but they didn't remain intact even to waking.

The two tables ordered arrived, as did the topper for them.  But not the padding yet.  I may need to buy material as a cover for even that.  Just inexpensive cotton, thick, like what you would use for an ironing board.  As well, the clips aren't in, by which to hold everything together.  If they work.  Those tables are rather heavy.  All good.

Something to eat?  Roast, and a small pot of veggies, should do.  Maybe a salad first, then heavier eating later, when it cools?  Yes, I think that is the way to go.  I really want to get a shower in, today, and dishes started.  It won't be much, it will be something.  Perhaps laundry, as well, while at it.  Possibly some work upstairs, too.  Getting the tables set up and arranged.  Ugh.  I am saying I want to work, and may well get some done.  Not sure what, or how much.  But... some.  Later.

Cooling, slowly.

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Considering it only got to 80, and was tipping cooler by 18:00, it really isn't cooling fast.  At 60 out there, and the meter reading 100% plus, humidity, it really doesn't feel cool.  Though I am beginning to suspect the moisture gauge is... waterlogged, or somehow broken?  Not absolutely sure, but I'm... all but positive it isn't and hasn't been that humid for that long.  Sure, while it was raining, for days.  Yea.  Not, not now?  I... would have to see several sources suggesting that.  Sources I could trust, which exclude "the news".  

Or any weather stations which are digital.  Regardless whether they are connected via wireless or some other way.  Actually even wired are dubious.  They can be, and probably are, hacked.  Not by foreign interests, but by our own institutions... from NASA, the FBI, CIA, CDC, pick one of any of those and dozens of others.  They have an agenda, and won't let the truth interfere with their plans.  And their plans aren't any good for any standard American.  Though, if Biden is no longer useful to them, I think he will find they aren't very good for him, either.  Time to resurrect Hillary?  *grins*

So... while I don't believe, I don't have adverse data.  Whatever.  It reads 51% humidity in here, but it is always less humid in the house than outside.  Or... mostly always.  It just isn't all that cool.  It is summer though.  So, not sure how much I could expect.  And, even with the monsoon season started, that doesn't mean it isn't still, also, high summer.  I guess I just hoped for more.  Almost dreaming of cooler weather.  It'll be here before long.

While I haven't gotten to anything, I am almost feel better.  It is still a bit warm.  Above, say, 76... and over time, I just get wrung out.  I am and sort of remain rung out.  Getting better.  Closer to better.  Will see how things work out in the next few days, weeks.  By the end of August, I am hoping life is a bit smoother.  Easier.

Then I have to push through, again.  Get as much work as possible in here before it gets too cold.  The furnace just doesn't really keep the place warm enough.  Though, I don't think furnaces can.  The cold creeps into all the odd spaces, as heat does even in an air conditioned room.  Grinds me down.  Though, with the cold, I don't know... it's slightly more workable, when needed.  If the darkness doesn't get me.  Always something.  I wonder if there is a place where it is cold, but mostly bright and sunny?  That would be the trick.  If it's dark, it doesn't matter the temps... I just sleep a lot.  No choice.

Well... so be it.  I may take a shower, brush my teeth, set up dishes, then dry off and head to bead.  I have things I want to do this week.  Not sure I will get to that.  Sleep is really off.  I am, strangely, needing far more of it than usual.  I think the deep summer has sort of just smacked me into the dirt.  I am avoiding heat, or my body is... or is trying to.  Sleep seems to be a good way for it, with the ac and fans keeping it almost cold up there.

Bah.  I'd just waist my time staying up to try and get to things.  No.  I'll just be honest, and go on to bed.  Shut the house up, mostly.  But that's it.  Goodnight.

19:42?

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.

Exactly.  It is 78 outside.  It hasn't gone down much, but at least it didn't go up.  I wanted to take a look around.  Mostly checking on the lawn.

It is greening up.  More each day, but ever so slightly.  Now I can see green in most places.  There is one area that does not get green.  It must be the soil?  I had thought it was the sun, until some things made me realize it's not the sun.  Though shade might help?  Or not.  Still, most areas have fresh grass coming in, and even some of the old grass simply returning to green, a blade or three per bunch at a time.

I set up the sprinkler, up front.  Though, I am not sure I will spin it up tonight.  Probably tomorrow, assuming it doesn't rain again.  Though, it doesn't look like it will rain.  It had seemed cloud free all day.  Though, with the monsoon officially having kicked off, when it will rain is anybody's guess.  It might just pop up, from seeming nowhere, cooler winds from the north colliding with moist winds from the south, and momma and poppa are singing.  Wet, I say, wet.  Though, probably not.  We aren't quite to daily or even ever other or third days.  That seems to have been just a start, the announcement.

So, if it doesn't rain tomorrow, I will use the sprinklers.  I don't want to water too much.  And we really did get a lot of water the last few days.  Even with the sun out all day, the ground is still wet... damp anyway.  So, yeah, tomorrow.  Still, I was worried the grass wouldn't be coming back.  The first three sprinklings... it was just almost starting to sort of partly green.  Or was I looking too hard, seeing what I wanted.  But, now, that rain really helped.  Still, I have to think the previous waterings were working.  But definitely greening out there.  What a relief.  How much would a turf replacement be?  Or... putting rocks down?

Not cool enough to open up.  It has gotten to 82 up here, in front, near the machine.  But that isn't terrible.  An hour or two, I should be able to open up, get fresh cool air in, then maybe take a shower, heat something up or cook something for dinner, and get started on tasks, chores, and what else.  It could be a really good night, for work.  If it will work with me a bit, and cool off a bit more.  Having only gotten to 80 today, I am definitely hoping it will get down to the 50s tonight.  Low 60s can be okay, but... Depends on how fast it gets to how cool it gets though too.

The cool, which allowed me to catch up on sleep, was great.  But that just cuts it closer to even.  To go farther, I'll need more cool.  Or I am, again, at a standstill.  We'll see.  Later.

A very long sleep.

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.

I did wake to close down most of the shop.  Upstairs, some things downstairs.  But it seemed... reasonable.  So I left a few things open downstairs.  I didn't check the temp.  Just... it felt okay.  So, back on to bed, with some hopes it wouldn't be too bad when I got up for reals.  I think that was about 08:35?  Give or take a dozen.

Just waking up now.  It was almost on the hour, but is now 17:05.  I got the machine on, fed Sassy, checked the temp outdoors and it is 80, the rest of the house is 76 to 78, 80 near the machine.  The sun was out, but it didn't get all that hot today.  Obviously.  It would be, if it was a typical day, about as warm as it gets right now.  I can live with eighty.

Dreams, all night, of women.  All night.  Just because I know I am dreaming, it doesn't always mean as much as I had thought.  I tried to shut some of the dreams down, initially.  That's... hairy territory, Bob.  And, as successful or failing as I am, I am a celibate.  I do my best, of body and mind.  Last night I had a snowball's chance in hell.  Couldn't shut the dreams down, couldn't change the subject.  Limits.  I must have... found some of mine.  Won't complain, and I did my best.

Oh, and another thing.  I am having to be careful with fluids.  I can drink... a lot... quickly.  Half a gallon can go down the tubes in minutes, if I am not careful.  And... that goes straight to my feet.  Which then hurt like heck.  They swell.  Immediately.  Between being careful with what I drink, how much, how fast, I have been slowly lowering the swelling in the feet.

Dairy seemed to be a part of it too.  But with that gone, the last hurdle is getting enough water without getting too much, too fast.  Sips.  But I wake up, or find myself, so very thirsty so often.  I want water so badly.  Right now is an example.  So very thirsty.  I want to chuck the quart of water, and coffee.  And, could do it and get more.

Trying to do just sips.  And spread them out.  A sip of one.  Down, a paragraph, then another sip.  A tablespoon, two?  About that.  A trick?  Don't just gulp, let it sit in there, swish it around, taking small amounts over time.  The meds make me thirsty.  Long sleeps make me thirsty.  The heat makes me thirsty.  The combination has been devastating.

Part of the problem is, I have a wound on my leg.  From a blister.  Either from something in the compression sock, or what it did (compress), or bumping a box and it cutting.  I just don't know.  But, currently, and for over a week, it has remained an open wound.  Yes, I have been treating it.  Every few days, I will put triple antibiotic on it, and bandage it.  Then, next, I'll leave it open for a few days, let it scab over... which is taking a lot of time.  Showering more often, or that's the plan.  I would be showering daily, but I just don't have it in me.  So, every other, or every third day.  Though, if it cools, maybe I can get back to more work, and showering.

Ugh.  I do feel better.  Restarting meds is helping.  Staying on them, mostly, is helping.  I think I may have missed insulin last night, but I'll... get back on it.  I am doing better, if not perfectly, so far.  Pill medicines are going in very rightly.  Insulin is still somewhat hit or miss.  It's... what I can do in high summer.  The cool may help.  It's why I slept so late.  I think it was just 72 near me, and I had to have three blankets.  Temperature is only part of it.  When it is really cooler out there, the heat doesn't invade the 'corners of the house'.  And, it actually seems chilly.  I needed the sleep though, haven't been sleeping well on the hotter days, or active, or... anything.  Just surviving.

Well... on to... something.  Later.

Bedtime.

.

.

I partly closed up shop.  Will close up just a bit more.  Last I checked, it had gotten down to 58 at 100% humidity.  Near the computer it is still 75.  Cooler everywhere else though, by three to five degrees?  I'll open up the upstairs while I go up.  I like the fresh air.  Plus, since it gets warmer up there first, and I wake to warmth, it gives me a chance should the day be a hot one tomorrow... to wake up and shut everything else down before it gets nasty inside and out.

A few more small orders, as I think of things.  Scissors.  No, not fabric shears.  I have those.  Though, actually, I did buy a larger pair of those too.  Scissors, for everything else.  Klein is, or was, American made.  In America?  It seems so.  Anyway, they were well rated on their edge, and edge retention.  I sure don't want to use my shears for non-cloth materials.

Not much else.  Hopefully a good nights' rest, food from tonight, medicine in, tomorrow I can get to things again.  Or... not.  Goodnight, Godspeed, sweet dreams, and good morning if that is when you find this.

Absolutely wonderful.

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.

It had gotten up to eighty, exactly, in this front room.  Just another summer day.  But that was only for a few hours.  And, just to eighty.  It often gets to eighty eight up here.  Still, as cool as it it, was, outside...  Then gain, at seventy six outside, even with clouds, it will warm in here from passive sun.  Obviously.  Or can, and this day did.

But, it is cooling.  It is down to 64 outside.  I didn't look at humidity, but would bet it is still 100%.  It is only down to 78 in here, with a 58% humidity.  As metioned, though, it is cooling.  It may get really cool this evening, though hard to tell.  Warm winds could bring a heatwave, for all I know.  Though I don't think so.  I suspect a cooling.  Perhaps into the forties if I am lucky.  If, too, I suspect tomorrow, and much of this week, will go back up to the 90s?  That's what the weather seemed to suggest.  If... I'm... not sure about that.  Time will tell.

I never did dig into the eggs and such.  But I am hungry.  Eggs, ham, hash browns, and cheddar cheese and onion in with the hash browns?  Maybe.  The heat was only a short bit.  If I am still recovering from the length of days of heat.  Still, would like to have something tasty.  And that would definitely be tasty.  I have improved in cooking these sorts of things, if the flattop would allow much better skill improvements.  That will just have to wait.  I am probably going to wait until next month, even if I could get it going this month.  Trying to carry money over, and hide it in savings, or pay off bits, and preferably both.

As I mentioned, anyway, I'd like to take a few months off from buying.  Both saving a bit, paying off extra bits, and sparing some for fabrics and such... a small splurge for sewing fabrics, materials, threads, and all.  Basically everything I haven't gotten, and need, for a few projects.  To start, a few basic man quilts, for the various seasons, or even to stack as a single unit in the winter... maybe that button together?  Or even button or zip so as to create a pocket, like a sleeping bag but not.

I will probably use cotton batting, or maybe bamboo... for my initial quilts.  Perhaps a wool batting for the winter or fall quilt.  But mostly trying to stay with more natural fibers.  Bamboo is sort of natural, but in the same way corn oil is a natural oil.  Sure, starts out natural, but what they have to do to make the one into "oil", and the other into "natural fiber" is anything but natural.

Have you ever wondered how they have gone to such extremes to make things that aren't supposed to be what they are made into, to be that, rather than using what is plentiful and natural?  There should be enough lard, tallow, and fish oils to feed the world easily.  So... why the synthetics?  To take care of the money the government is giving farmers?  It isn't healthy.  Not sure about bamboo fabrics, fibers.  Not sure just how bad they are, on the environment, maybe to wear?  I know, at least in clothing, it shrinks something awful.  Hmm... I better check that out.  It may be just for quilts not to be washed, competition quilts, where drape is desired?  I'll... check.

Anyway...  I actually got most of the way through the post, then... went to look... ah... for the name of the other batting...  there is another name for bamboo, never did find it.  But, it's listed as bamboo, so...  It's only down to 76 now.  Inside.  Outside, it is down to 61, still reading 100% plus humidity.  It... may have broken?  Or... it's still very humid out there.  But, as temps drop, that doesn't mean the same thing, sort of?

Anyway... it's almost getting to bedtime.  I did get the eggs, ham, hash browns with cheese and onions, done and in.  A rather tasty meal.  Later or goodnight.

Raining, again.

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I couldn't be sure.  When it rains?  Usually, in August, it starts out with a buildup.  This year that started in July.  Not every day, but often enough, it was cloudy.  To my memory, that is unusual.  Then it would begin raining.  But in short amounts.  Almost a tease.  Well, that, too, started last month.  One rain was minutes long, another and the only other I know about, literally dropped rain in a line and kept on going, or very close.  I so wanted more rain.

That it rained last night, into this morning, didn't surprise me.  I was surprised it didn't before.  Though, wasn't sure.  Sometimes it can tease rain so badly that I go a bit crazy waiting for it.  But, that it is raining again, so soon?  More does than doesn't surprise me.  In one sense, it seemed like it should rain more.  On the other hand, I just didn't think it would rain.  Perhaps I thought more rain would be greedy?  Or, I just didn't believe because it seemed too good to be true?  Strange how the mind conjures.

Now, it isn't cooling off much.  At 65, it just doesn't feel cool.  Even out in the rain, it is... almost, to me, a warm rain.  Or was when I went out five minutes ago.  Warm winds, warm air, hot earth.  Then again, much cooler, with crops, and that could be a problem too.  Though, it is still 80 here near the computer and 76/77 around the house otherwise.  So... still warm.  Bleh.

My mother called.  But... I don't know.  It seems like she doesn't want to talk much.  Not that we had a lot to say.  It's, just, she seemed in a rush.  She is older.  I don't know.  I won't worry about it, just a bit surprised.  Of late, she is always in a hurry to get off the phone.  Honestly, if it is because she has friends who want her, or things to do, or even if she is just more tired, wears out more quickly, that is fine.  And the first two would be pleasing, to me.  She is a social bee, and loves company, fitting in, being useful, needed, wanted.  And she has a way of making herself useful so as to be wanted, as company.  It was good to hear from her,  and that she is fine.  That was the reason for the call, sum total, in truth.

I did ask her about some projects.  Quilts, and something else.  She seems interested, and would be happy for such.  So... I will begin practicing on my stuff.  Hopefully able to put something nice together for her, perhaps for an early Christmas set of presents.  I thought I better ask.  Perhaps should wouldn't want the items, or couldn't take quilts in there.  Hard to know, the crazy rules they make these days.

Well... popcorn.  I was hungry, didn't want to cook.  Should be done.  Quite a bit of thunder out there.  Popcorn and thunder, a nice mix.  Wish there was lightning, but it just isn't showing... not from my points of view.  Later.  Or goodnight.

Say it ain't so, sister.

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I found this video.  When not looking over serger, motorcycle, cleaning motivational, musical, or other videos, it's sewing videos.  And, there are certain women, usually, who catch my attention.  She is, and has been, a favorite.  Been thinking about getting into sewing for... a decade?  No, I didn't discuss it.  The other machine I have, I am sure, will be fine, in time.  But, to start out, it just went too fast.  And only seems to have one speed.  So... no.  That would be like getting on a 1250 cc bike, for my first jalopy.  No.  NO!

Anyway.  I didn't see this one until now.  *sigh*  Oh, it wouldn't have mattered.  I was going in, when the opportunity presented, and it presented, so I went in.  Reminds me of back when I dated.  A lot.  *laughs*  Yes, I... laughed.  But, she absolutely nailed it.  Now, I was ready for some of it.  And, with an engineering mind, or at times aimed and trained that way, I... do think ahead.  Needles, practice materials, thread... and of various colors and materials, this and that.

Efficiency.

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.

Or?  Another name for getting older.  Or ill.

I remember how I did things when I was younger.  I just bulled through.  If things got broken, disturbed, tumbled, or tossed, that would... be fixed later.  Now I tend to try to think through the process, and work in such a way that the process is smoother.  I had, for some time, thought it was wisdom which had brought me to this way.

I am realizing it isn't.  Oh, there is some idea of that.  But, too, overthinking is a good way of delaying.  Though, in there somewhere, is that idea that some things can't really be done, so possibly shouldn't be started.  Getting half way through, then totally running out of energy, can leave a mess where one didn't exist before.  And, how soon that task can be started again, is anybody's guess.  

So, some of that attempt at efficiency is from wisdom, if not always the straightforward type.  If the job it too big, best not to start it.  The older I get, ill as I already am, the smaller the jobs I can't really do.  Even so, I have things I need to get done.  And they aren't big, they are huge.  Cleaning the house, from floors too walls.  The ceilings and most walls are okay, just... some areas.  All floors, and all the stuff, though, has to be managed.

Can I do it?  Do I have a choice?  I can't do it currently.  But, maybe, as things cool off, maybe.  Or back to it.  The upstairs looks amazing.  Mostly.  A little cluttered.  I have more to do.  But it really does look pretty good.  I might be able to go through the last boxes up there, before long.  And all else as well.  Probably bringing most of those down, to be tossed the next time I order a dumpster.  Again, I want, perhaps, two loads ready to go.

I did some good work, until heat took me down, this spring and early summer.  I suspect I'll do well, again, this later summer as it cools, on into maybe early winter.  Deeper winter will take my legs out from under me again.  Though, I have been thinking.  If it gets too cold, or the cold gets to me after a time, I may take a couple of days down south.  Drive somewhere, during the weekday, when it is going to be warm.  South Utah, perhaps, or Arizona, Nevada, or such, when they are having a warmer spell.  Heck, doesn't need to be in the 70s, the 50s will be a break from the -20s to 20s.  Just where it isn't freezing and is sunny.  Drive for a day or two, stay at a little place for a few days, then drive back.  As inexpensively as is reasonable.  Heck, even camping, if it is warm enough.

I am going to have to fight to get through, get up, get down, and maybe get out.  I'm not sure what is possible.  Especially with my efficiency problems.  Only one way to find out.  No, I just had to laugh, earlier, when I saw around the idea of efficiency.  I don't always try to put things in such a way that the truth is more hidden, or parts of it.  But, sometimes, it does happen.  This was one of those times.  Seeing around that corner, to the fullness, while frustrating, is... rather mirthful.  Had to laugh.  Like when catching a child saying they didn't spill the soup, they were just doing art.  *grins*  Sometimes we are our own children.  Later.

Awake.

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.

Awoke at 11:00.  Closed up the upstairs, if it was still cool.  It was 75 near me, 73 in the main.  I was a bit afraid of downstairs.  Never can tell.  It was 75 in the main areas, 72 at 69% humidity up front.  I had left everything open.  I was about to shut it all down when I decided to check the outdoor temp first... 65 at 100% humidity.  So, I will keep it all open for now.  Still overcast, with some more potential for rain.  Yeah, monsoon season is sitting on us like a fat woman singing.

Oh, we'll get more hot, and dry.  This usually starts out heavy or light, but infrequent.  Until it settles in for more, longer, often daily storms... some wet, some not, if... there remains any pseudo normalcy to the weather patterns.  Which I won't swear to.  It is August, and this was expected.  So... there is that.

Today?  I just don't know.  While it is cooler, it is muggy as heck.  The inside feels like Iowa on a good day, the outside feels like Iowa.  :p  But, having restarted all meds, and been on them a few days, and it being cooler if more humid, there is a chance I might get to some things today.

I am sure hoping I can get to things.  Not confident.  But... who needs confidence, surety, certainty, or else.  It might be good to know, and be able to always do.  That isn't what is left to my life.  Everything is a challenge.  Just waking, some days, is a bit of a trick.  And waking within reason is far from guaranteed.  Just waking this morning, it was only fear that drove me out.  Fear of heat.  If I could have gotten up when I wanted to, at around seven, I would have.  Couldn't.  Even now, just crawled out, like a shaky calf.

Still, I am up.  It is cool, if damp.  A shower?  Brushing my teeth.  Breakfast...  I got eggs the last time I went to the store.  I have pork roast.  Slice that very thin, like ham or less, fry that, then the eggs?  Sounds good.  I think I have hash browns in the freezer too, for a occasional treat.

What else today?  The dishes will get put back in to soak.  I'll check on laundry.  I need to get a bunch of that somewhere, and sort through it.  I need to start culling my wardrobe.  Looking for shirts with spots, tears, or such.  I have been working on getting spots out.  Anything that remains is... not coming out.  Gotta go.  Though, what would work for rags, or sewing material, I could collect.  For the moment.  If I end up moving, just toss that.  Trust me, they don't need such things for charity.

Oh, one thing I would like to figure out how to sew?  An adult bib, several, to change from time to time.  I'm tired of spots!  Besides, if I am going to bother making my own clothing, between time and expense, I want those to last.  And, perhaps, an apron that fits.  I've tried various apron type things, but... they really don't work.  Things are made for small guys and women.  They simply don't make some things for big people, to cover the whole chest.

If it wasn't so humid!  I don't remember it being this humid before, though.  I swear.  Until today, the most humid I have ever known, out this was, was 65%.  Sure, sometimes, at night or even during the day, this year, it has read 80%.  But... that wasn't a real 80%?  I mean, that usually happens when it is cool.  Or when wind is blowing moisture through.  It doesn't just sit and oppress.  It's not really 80% humidity, even then.  Today, it really is 100% humidity.

Not sure how much rain we received, but it must have been a lot.  It was still sprinkling heavily when I went to bed.  Whenever that was?  Three, come to think of it, I am almost certain, the early part, by the first quarter in.  Hmm, a little less than eight hours down.  Not bad.

Yea, I'll try to get to work.  Have breakfast.  See where the day goes.  Later.

Very nice.

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.

Rain.  And lots of it.  I would say it has been fully raining for an hour, two?  A goodly while.  It continues to rain, and thunder, as I write.

It has dropped to 62, if at 100% humidity.  Higher, if I think, from being so dry, for so long, the meter out there is enjoying the water a bit too much.  In here it it is still 76 at 60% humidity.  And, really, it's pretty warm in the rest of the house.  Just... won't cool off.  I just think there isn't much airflow, and with the air being went, it just isn't getting in the house.  Can't be pushed, pulled, or else.

I'll bet it cools nicely through the night though.  And, at this rate, it may rain all night.  I had heard the reservoir was down.  This might help, but... it takes a lot of rain to help really all that much.  Then again, if it has rained on up to the north, and well, that all combined might help.  Not sure just how big this front is.  I don't bother checking the news.  When they aren't purposefully wrong, they are simply wrong.  Won't bother with compromised news sources.  Yes, even the weather.

Oh, but... it is starting to cool.  The thermometer might not be reading it, but I can definitely feel it.  A divine gift.  Deserve?  If I got what I deserved, Christ wouldn't have died.  That was my punishment.  So... it's how it goes.  Ugh... I think the cool is going to cause me to crash pretty soon.  There is some sort of level of cool I must get too, then I'll begin coasting down... like on a roller coaster.  Then I'll fly on to bed.  Uhrm, when I can get up and go.

Medicines, for both sorts, going again.  Most of the fast acting insulin has been stolen.  So it's just slow acting.  So, I am taking 50 cc's of that, in the evenings.  Pill medicines have been hit or miss.  On a few days, that I fry out and forget to take them.  But, mostly, I am trudging through with those.  Insulin I just restarted yesterday.  So, I haven't checked blood sugar, and probably won't until tomorrow or the day after.  It's what I can do.

Anyway... just thought to share the joy.  I hope those of you who could use some rain will get some or have gotten some.  If not, just... pray.  I am certainly praying for you.  Stay cool as possible, it'll happen.  Goodnight.  

Can't quite sleep.

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Just too hot.  It is 84, here in the front room, 77 around the house, and 76 outside.  But It feels sticky, for only being 50% humidity out there... 60%?  It's 42% in here.

I opened up.  Hopefully that will help cool it off, so that I can crash, soon.

Dull?  Right.  Well, it's what I have today, and lately.  If I could be working, kicking things out, picking things up, doing dishes and laundry, I would be.  It is what it is and there isn't a lot I can do about it until it begins to cool.  That I'm not getting heat sick, and losing track of... everything... is as good as it gets.  That won't last for long.  

Even when it finally cools, I may have to take some downtime to recover.  It starting to get brutal.  The heat.  Oppressive.  Even this relatively cooler day really got to me.  In part because going outside... it wasn't hotter.  So, going out to come back in just didn't do the little switch trick that can improve my mood.  And, it's been hot for a while.  Just getting to me.  

At least I am staying clean and fed, taking care of Sassy.  Other than that, I am just... suffering through the heat.  That is about all I have left to offer.  I do it gratefully.  I've definitely had worse, and may easily still have worse.  Maybe tomorrow, then again, who knows.  Could die tomorrow and not have a problem again, or on earth.

It just isn't cooling.  Too close to the outside temp, and it isn't really cool out there.  Stuffy, warm.  Still in the 70s, I guess that is as good as it gets.  The clouds are thick.  It feels like they could just rip, and drop a ton of water.  But they just... are refusing... so far.  Oh, I think it would cool right on down if it does.

Later, or goodnight.

Steady temp.

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.

Did it ever get to 84?  Or has it been 83 all day.  I just can't remember with certainty.  But, it is 83 out there, and has been that, or about it, since I woke at noon.  It has bee 77 in the cooler part of the house, pretty much all of it, downstairs.  Upstairs, with act and a fan on, it's probably closer to 72/74, 73/75.  But it is a bit warm.  Cloudy, part of the day.  The sun was out, last I looked... or seemed to be.

A few meat sticks, and a few four ounce cups of fruit.  Tasty, but not very filling.  I am getting a potato baking.  And, when that is done, will slice a few pieces of the port roast and have some of that.  Just a bit more, and more solid, food.  I may go on to bed after that.  Hopefully to wake in the cool dark.

Though, who knows.  I may end up sleeping the whole night, just waking tomorrow morning, or afternoon.  I'm not in complete control.  I'm not in much control.  Sassy has been fed and otherwise tended.  A package arrived.  I did place a rather small order for the month.  Some things for sewing.

One of the things I ordered was a pair of adjustable tables, 5'x2'?  Something like that.  To be put together, sometimes.  Plus a hard plastic top which will create a 5'x4' platform, when put on top of the tables.  As well, batting that should cover the whole thing, and clips to hold the batting and top to the tables, melding them into one piece, and offering something to pin things down to.  Not sure about thickness, that is trial and error.  

Plus a few other things.  A few patterns, to experiment on a few ideas.  Plus replacements for food and expendables I generally use here at home.  Still, a much smaller order than has been the case of late.  And mixed between food and sewing.  As well, I paid down on my credit cards, heavily.  If one will be used to finish off the serger on layaway.

Sometime this week I hope to get in to town, pick that up, put some money in the account, then wait to see how things turn out.  Not spend another nickel, until I see where things are after the dust settles.  I would like to add money to savings.  Anything else free will be used to pay off more of the card.  Have to keep enough to cover little things, here and there.  Gas, electricity, and other little picayune expenses.  Plus, to have a bit in there would be good.  As well, I have to get some in on utilities.  Not sure I can get it all, but if so... I'll do that before else.  Well, and it's good to keep a bit more in there.  In case anything should happen.  Having room on credit cards is also an emergency move, for now.  But I do have savings, as well.  Small, but... I could do... something, small, in an emergency.

I called my mother, again, again, again.  She did answer, but said she was busy.  That was four hours ago?  Six... five, after checking.  Whatever.  If she is too busy, I guess that is the way of it.  I'll leave that alone until she calls.  I'm not upset.  She gets tired, she is older, life moves fast.  More impatient, if you know what I mean.

Well... nearing time for dinner.  Then, probably, just on to bed.

The things that come out of his mouth.

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Oh, not... just...  I had to laugh when I put that jelly and peanut butter onto bread for the first time.  Or was it chocolate into peanut butter?

Something about this has been something I have suggested for a very long time.  There are only two things you can have.  You can have faith.  Faith in God.  Faith that He will take care of you, even in the valley of the shadow of death.  Faith that things work out for the right, and if you are with Him, that includes you.  Faith in what He is, the Truth, the Light, and other right things.  Or you have fear.  Fear of death, fear of pain, fear of even work, fear of everything, anything, you can imagine.  You get one choice.

As to friends and family, who cling to fear?  I have found that trying to root it out only leads them right back to zero.  You can, for a time, help them begin to walk away from the fear.  But, the next time you speak with them, they are right back to their fetal position, worrying about all they had temporarily given up just moments, or days, before.  They cling to fear, as if it could save them.  After enough times, you just have to quit trying.  They will, if they can, stop interacting with you if you prove to powerful against their fears.  You become the problem, another thing to fear.  And feared I am.

Those who suggest they are not afraid, but live in a constant state of near panic?  You can see it in them.  Afraid the neighbors have something nicer.  Afraid their children will disobey, dishonor them.  Afraid their family hates them, or only wants them for what they can get.  Afraid of their own shadow, their past, being wrong.  Afraid, even, most often, to laugh.  I have seen these.  They would frighten me, induce it in me, if not for my faith.  Thankfully, my God is greater than their fear.  They could not know my God or they would not know fear.  Doesn't matter what they suggest.

I quite enjoy not having fear... most of the time.  Oh, it catches me out.  A stray worry, about my mother, or brother.  Little worries about my nieces.  Concerns about locals I have come to love as family.  A couple of younger men who are so madly driven they hurt themselves often at work.  Well, and their families.  The weather.  The future.  Money.  The house.  But, when I realize I am worrying, a short prayer... leaving things in His hands, with gratitude for all He has done... changes the whole thing.  Flips it from a growing darkness to a pleasantly overcast day, or from cold bitter showers to life giving rains.  He doesn't require us to walk in darkness, even on dark days.

Your choice.  Fear, or faith.  Now... I can't make a horse drink, but I can lead it to water.  The very waters of life.  Death, in time, you will see merely as the second birth... third?  Third.  And pain, here, endured... of the soul, flesh, mind?  Are mere graces for the future.  But that's... you have to do it.  I can throw a liferope, a buoy, or else, to help.  But you have to take it.  He even has it, so that if you merely take it out of hedging your future, out of fear, you may find a way.  Though, it will be a lessor way.  Still, a lessor way in heaven is far superior to the options.

Sadly, I'm not sure how many priests even believe these things in these times.  They would call me, often, a Jesus freak.  Seriously.  I am... cautious around most priests, many of whom have been taught specifically to be milquetoast.  While it is a marathon, not a sprint... neither is it a race with no end or rules.  Still, there is the magisterium and the doctors of the church.  Not to be undone by the limp-wristed, literally and proverbially.  Not just priests, it seems to have afflicted many men of the cloth, and in the worst ways.  They have surrendered, many of them, to the ways of the world.  I just won't.  Amen.

Possibly a cooler day.

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Overcast, and 80 at noon, with humidity standing at 50%.  Having just gotten up, I am not sure, but it doesn't really look like imminent rain.  Or rain at all.  But looks can be deceiving.  So, who knows.  It was 76 all downstairs, and 77 all upstairs, when I woke.  Not great but not bad.  I have to wonder if it really warmed earlier, than cooled off?  Oh, but I have the back area open, the laundry room.  If the door to that is closed.  It is an experiment.  A stupid one, now that I am awake enough to think about it.  I am wondering if the experimental me, last night, was just too tired to shut those so called it an experiment.  You know how night staff can be.  :p

The shower, and drying time last night, paid off.  Not sure when I went to bed.  After two, but a few minutes or hours after, I can't quite know.  I did look at the clock, but was so shot it didn't take.  I remember seeing 02:08 or something, but that was the clock down here.  That only means I was awake to then, not that I went on to bed anytime near that.

Feeling fairly groggy.  I did close up the upstairs, and turn on ac, on the way down.  I'll get the back porch/laundry room, closed before long.  The rest of the house is closed up.  Didn't think I'd be awake in time this morning, and was right.  Today?  I have no idea.  I'd like to work, but still feel a bit broken.  Tired.  Rusty.  All good, though.  If the doorbell rang, and I was invited to a party, today I could probably make it.  Hmm, but I would want to brush my teeth.  I'll... do that shortly, when I can get back up again.

Let me look around the internet a bit, maybe get a coffee down, and some water.  Later.

Well, a shower anyway.

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No, I didn't get dishes in.  Dragged my nasty carcass in, washed it, rinsed it, did it again for propriety's sake, then sat and dried.  Wearing some clothes, enough to technically answer the door should that have been needed.  But... Probably not likely.  I hate being caught in shorts.  Rather have pants on.  Though it does happen.

Just wasting time, not doing anything much.  Not even studying a few topics of interest.  Just drifting.  It's gotten a bit cooler.  Air is moving through the place.  It helps.  But it is pretty late in the morning.  Perhaps I should shut much down, in case I don't wake.  As a fact, I am sure I won't wake.  But I may keep the upstairs open.

Ugh... if I can even do that.  Must go to bed.  Have been in bed for hours, by need, want.  Just... not of flesh.  Lost track.  Goodnight.

I had hoped for more.

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Just a bit of work.  Maybe... I don't know... something.  It's just too hot.  Even now, with it 66 outside, it is still 77 in here.  Just too warm, and it's been hot all day.  I couldn't sleep.  I couldn't work.  So, it is what it is.

I may get a shower before long, then dry a bit before shoveling off to bed.  If so, I may put the dishes back to a soak.  I emptied the water, and just set them out the other day.  In order to get a shower.  Couldn't get to dishes.  Dishes tomorrow?  I can hope.  A shower would certainly feel good though, tonight.  And, putting dishes to soak would be... a right thing.

Oh, and trash.  I think it is both trash and recycling tomorrow.  Not sure I have enough recycling, though I could check.  Trash?  I should have enough.  Can I get that gathered and out?  I can sure give it a shot.  I'd want to do it before the shower.  So warm.  Just... worn out from the heat alone, and the days combined of it.  Sure, not nearly as bad as last year, or the many years I've been out here before that, but bad enough to begin pounding my face into the dirt.  The only thing is, hopefully, this is short.  That it will start cooling before long.  Though, who knows.  Heat may linger?  The seasons may extend rather than contract?  Will know soon enough.

Oh, something else working in my favor?  The grill went back.  That is nearly $300, when they decide to notice it is being returned.  I think, currently, companies are holding onto money.  Not because it is right.  UPS has it, they know it is in shipment, and anything goes wrong it is on UPS, not me.  But, no, they want to hold onto the money, using shipping as an excuse to delay repayment.  Annoying, and chintzy.  I get it, money flow, bottom line, etc.  But it's still wrong.  Letting bean counters control policy is half the problem with business these days.  Be right by your customers.  Be honest.

Then again, while that money is set to return, I still need a griddle.  And, will be stepping up in size, to hopefully get one that works.  And buying locally, so if it doesn't work, I can just take it back.  Not having to stumble through the roadblocks amazon and ups are putting on returns.  Sometimes they have a code, that can be read.  But sometimes they require something to be printed.  I simply don't have a printer, don't use them often enough, and UPS stores don't like doing that.  Sometimes they will, for a price, if they can get a copy.  Sometimes it all fails, or takes half an hour to sort.  Why only on the larger or odder items?  Because they are trying to deny a return through complexity.  Annoying.  Anyway, so... if I get a larger grill, it will cost another 2/3rds that amount, plus that amount.  Which means I may have to wait until next month?  Maybe.

Dead in the water, but I still have plans and goals.  I'll keep trying.  Later, or goodnight.

In spite of spending like a drunken sailor?

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Well, I was a bit worried.  And there are still things which need paid, this coming month.  Two, big, things.  However, I had things to buy, beside.  And things this month, if possible.  Then?  Then I can cut spending to nothing, or as close as possible.  Only refilling foods as they go.

Between, this, that, and saving, I have $400 to put into my account.  As well, I just bought $200 in groceries, which should last much of the month.  So, I consider that as money in the kitty, since it won't be taken out.  And, if I am very careful, that, with what else I have, may well last the whole month.

One of the bills... I... just have to remember, and sort.  Haven't found my new checks.  Need to look around.  Not... just for this month, but for ongoing.  Ugh.

The other bill, is a hold order I have, on a serger.  I thought about an entry level, but they had a used, higher end.  I am... always nervous, about used.  They were the same price, the entry level machine and the more advanced one, with the one I took being used.  And, yet, went with this.  Yea, quite a thing.

Part of my purchases made, and remaining, is gearing up to use the sewing and serging machines to their fullest.  Including two more tables, and maybe a third, clear rulers, and... other things.  So much is need, it is amazing how many doodads and such... are available.  Necessary?  Some of them, yes.  Or very helpful.  If you can't measure well, accurately, you won't cut well.  If you are going to buy a tractor, don't forget that auxiliaries.  Probably start with one, or a few.  But, in time...  Sewing machines are no different.  Now... if I could find a sewer.  :p

I am almost set, sewing machine and else wise.  As with food reserves.  Enough to share, from time to time, for some help... or another exchange.  The last thing I'll need is materials, batting, fabrics...  But, I am going to get a savings thing, so in a month or two, after clearing some things, I can buy enough to make several quilts, shirts, and maybe shorts.  I'd really like to make some cargo shorts/pants, that fit, and work.  But... simple shirts, first.  And, a few quilts... just guy ones, for me, to keep warmer in the winter, and sometimes in the summer.  Several to experiment with.  Simple ones.  Then, maybe, one for someone who might appreciate it.  Or several... a lap one, and one for the bed.  But... the mats and such will be a few months off.  Need to catch up.  Plus, just taking a few months off from spending is like fasting.  It does a body good.

Anyway... still warm.  It is 86 at 35% humidity in here, at 19:14.  It is 88 at 30% humidity outside.  That it is cooling this early, that much, as I recall things, is quite nice.  I still really hoped it had cooled more.  But, I was just jacking that one.  I actually expected it to still be 90, maybe 92.

Yes, work, plan, figure, sort, sweat, sleep, and back at it, as much as possible.  I am loving that I am still trying.  Haven't quite failed.  Still doing little things.  But, sheesh, sweating my balls off.  And, running sort of low.  A cool day would be good.  Next Tuesday, I am told.  84 it is said.  That would do.  Even if it pops back up, a day off is good for the body.  Later.

Yes, the discussion.

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Don't beat around the bush, don't argue, debate, push, or shove.  Just... spit it out.  Can't, won't, don't.  It just couldn't work.  It's not practical.  About renting the place.  I simply can't rent it at mortgage.  Not without a promissory price payback, money down, and more than mortgage if nothing else than for taxes, upkeep, etc.  It's impossible.

Just as so, the place wouldn't be paid for thirty years.  That... won't work.  Oh, if I put some of my money in, sure.  Though, to rent?  I'd do double the mortgage, put a hundred and fifty percent against the mortgage, and save the last fifty percent overage for repairs, fixes, upkeep, and expenses.  Well, and get owners insurance, for bigger things, perhaps?  And?  That would be if I liked whoever.  If I didn't know them, it would be closer to three hundred percent mortgage as rent, or pretty close.  And, yes, that... is what rents are pulling.  How they pull that much, and how long they can pull that much, is another thing altogether.

Getting hot.  It was... is 92 out there.  Still, that is cool for this time of year, here.  It should be 97 to 105, to be honest.  So I simply cannot complain.  Even the length of the heat spell, without a break, has been small this year.  It just has.  We have had some cool days in there.  And, nights getting down to even the high 50s, this time of year, is a major gift.  I remember many years, here, where July through mid August, or so it seemed, it wouldn't go even to to the low 60s... mid 60s as rare treats, low 70s mostly.  And only for very short times.  With no cooling spells, save a 92 here or there.  Even so, it is wearing me out.

I also asked about a water outing.  I was promised two, as payment for some loan or gift.  I can't remember.  Might not get two, maybe though.  But hoped to definitely get one.  So... while discussing other things, I asked about that.  Maybe, and soon?  Oh, I get it.  The world is eating this lad, and he is just raking it in as possible.  He works in the sixties to eighties of hours, sometimes more as opportunities arrive.  And, it isn't in some cushy air conditioned office.  No, it's out with shovel, pick, backhoe, who knows... whatever it takes.  And, from installing sprinklers to running electrical for lighting.  Talented, this one.  Could seriously go far, do much.  Still, we will see.

Called my mother.  Went right to messaging.  So, either it's off, she is on another call, or she is busy.  Hard to say.  Called recently, had the same thing.  I'm not worried.  I don't think anything is wrong.  Just busy, maybe fussing about something.  Difficult to know.  Whatever.  But, this time, I... have a question for her.  I don't need an answer, just... a phone number.  Actually, I have the number.  Hmm... in time.

Oh, if you haven't heard, Argentina is looking to be going through dark times.  Not sure now would be a good time to move.  Ecuador still requires the clot shot, or at least the pcr test?  Either way, no.  Cambodia is a bit distant.  It might be tricky to find airports between here and there.  Further, I wouldn't even try a straight set of flights through.  From 36 to 53 hours?  About that, with many changes.  No... I'd fly from here to a vax safe airport/country.  Spend a night or two.  Then catch another flight, to another vax safe airport/country.  Hopscotching around, avoiding pure exhaustion and trying to catch flights one after the other after another, in possible airports where I couldn't go to a hotel, or possibly even leave the nation.  Places like Canada are like that, if you happened to get there, you couldn't leave without the vax.  Anyway... travel, right now, may be off the books.

Why not pcr testing?  A?  It's fake.  It isn't a true test.  There are no tests accurate for covid.  Read the words from the man who invented the test, then talk back.  Or... shut up.  Because you are talking out of ignorance.  Further, they have suggested they can apply the vax through the test, without telling people.  And, again, after all they have done?  Yes, they would do that.  Do they?  Could they?  Would they?  Yes.  You just don't know when or if they are doing it.

So... I'll take my time, try to get the house in shape, see about a loan, and if that goes through, work on the house.  If not, just work on appearances, and see about minor improvements as I go.  Hungry, now.  Best get something.  Then, maybe, a nap.  Or... not.  Bleh.  Later.

Nearly August.

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July, for summers here, is like Wednesday is to the week.  The hump.  The hottest section.  It will continue into the 90s, but be broken by cooler days, or if any regularity remains.  Cloudy, from time to time.  Which has already been happening.  So, I am hoping, rain will come sooner, and cool will be accelerated.  Time will tell.

While waking and doing a few first things, I kept looking at the clock.  Between groggy vision and still sleepy mind, I couldn't tell if it was eleven or thirteen hundred hours, or even what in change after.  As I sit, I see it is noon, so... must have been half past eleven hundred when I finally got up.  I woke earlier, to shut the house down.  I got up twice.  I thought the front door might still be a pickle holder... I mean... ajar.  But no, I had worried for nothing.

A fatted coffee, and some meat sticks, to start out.  I did purchase eggs last time I was in.  They aren't too expensive.  But they aren't brown eggs, or from pasture raised chickens.  But, it is what I was willing to pay, per egg.  Only mediums, but that is pretty familiar.  Though, compared to other store bought eggs, I know where these were hatched.  Couldn't quite throw a stone and hit the place, but... proverbially, as a crow flies, perhaps.  Of course, not literally in any sense, if there is any fact to literal in most realities?  Something like that.

Today?  I don't know.  I really am beat.  Just getting the watering done through the night pretty much tuckers me out.  The sprinklers aren't much, it's the 150' of constructor grade hoses that get me.  But, the watering was done.  And is ready to go again Tuesday.  Things are greening.  Just, but they are.

I would like to get another shower, but later.  Hitting dishes would be good.  I cleaned out pee jugs this morning, three.  I have been... busy with other things.  Counters and maybe boxes.  Little bits of the living room.  I just don't have it in me.  They remain the goal until the goal is reached.

I believe I am going to call off the review, and stop playing with the buyers.  I am just going to stick around, for now.  No one can afford the house, one way or the other, or will.  At least as she sits.  If I could get her cleaned up, maybe.  Not as worried about the crash in house sales.  I wouldn't be selling to typical buyers.  I would be selling to California and Illinois escapees.  Usually with cash.  Or Chinese or Blackrock scalpers, also in cash.

I'll spend a couple of months trying to get the place in order, as it cools this fall.  Then, consider maybe even putting it on the market.  But, on the official market.  Let them bid against real buyers.  While there is some slow down, in some areas, for houses in this range, locally, there is a high want and need.  But... it has to be viewable ready.  Then, perhaps, I could get the competition going.  We aren't in drought here, regardless what they try to say.  And, compared to the rest of the South West, that means something.  Plus with acreage, outbuildings, and a dry basement in an area where most basements flood every other year?

It needs work.  That $30k loan, if it had gone through, would have seen new furnace, central air, a new electrical panel, new flooring where needed, some wall work in the kitchen, the bathroom completed, an automated sprinkler system, maybe a backup generator, a new window in one of the rooms, and more.  Perhaps even new siding.  It seems like a lot, but that would probably nearly double the value of the house.  It used to be, depending on where you were, that a bit would get you back a little less.  But, in hot markets, a little can get you far more.  It's want and perception, when they are biting.  Bling, baby?  Yeah, unfortunately.  I just can't do bling.  But I can improve it so that there can be viewings.  But... not now.  Just too damned hot.

I did get some things.  And I am keeping that even in the heat.  So, I am hoping I can push through as it cools.  Then, pretty much, just live, and live small, in just a few areas.  Keeping up on those.  Then again?  There... may be a resource, for the $30k, that... remains.  I hadn't thought of it, until just now.  No promises.  Probably no.  But... there is one last place I could check.  I might be able to find a personal financier.  Maybe.  I'll... have to check.  How to even approach such?  Directly, of course.

Oh, I keep looking up things about bikes.  While I looked at extra fuel options, I also looked at ways to increase mileage.  Well, some technical ways.  The truth is, learning to ride "boring" will save a lot of gas.  As will cruise control, if that only works on some bikes.  Most bikes?  Some.  Why?  Well, I don't want to run out of gas a hundred miles from nowhere.  I have nearly done that with the Xterra, here in Utah.  A road outage, for some reason, running into a secondary detour while thinking gas was just ahead, not paying absolute attention (difficult in the heat, regardless of ac, on long trips)... and... almost ran out.  And, down there, it is 90 at night.  So, yeah.  That... could easily have been fatal, especially with no vehicles passing or following.  

I think some people knew this area had become... a problem?  Went different ways.  I just didn't know enough, or have resources to let me know.  That... got my attention.  I may have had tanks of water, but... you can only carry so much and...  No... I probably would have waited by the side of the road, with the water.  Until I could hitch.  Walking away from five gallons of water, in a desert, is very possibly a death sentence.  If you get down to what you can carry, then go?  Aye, as I see it.

I probably want a bigger tank, an auxiliary tank, and extra external storage.  Especially going into Mexico, and then on the South America.  Oddly?  I fear Canada more than I fear Mexico, if I fear Mexico more than South America.  All can be dangerous.  Just... how I weight things.  Canadians won't kill you, but their government will arrest and hassle you.  There government is even more unhinged than the US government has become.

Done.

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I let the last two watering zones go a little long.  Not for more water.  I am simply tired.  Couldn't just snap up.  But, done.  And, yes, I checked each zone, as I watered.  Some are still in worse shape, most are beginning to green again.  I'll have to stay on top of things.

So very tired.  I would be in bed if I wasn't so tired.  Though, I think it is now time.  Last I checked, it was 59 out there.  When sprinkling, I can't be sure about humidity.  But it was suggesting 80%.  During the monsoon season, that isn't unusual.  I just am not sure if that was raw atmospheric, or from the sprinklers.  It is down to 76, here at the computer.  Which means it's probably in the low 70s elsewhere.

On to bed.  Sleep well, or have a great day.

Four out of five, six?

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Zones, watered.  Well, or being watered.  One final zone to be hit.  I think I am doing much better with hitting the areas, getting more water to more spaces.  A bit tricky at night, but looking around in the day, thinking about things, finding better angles, corners, and stretches, it begins to improve.

I also has something to eat.  Some of the beef roast.  It was a small roast, so it is nearly finished.  One or two meals remaining.  But there is plenty of pork roast.  A bit rich, sometimes, but that is what makes it juicy.  And I'd much rather have juicy than brick.  Nothing fancy, but it is good food.

I haven't been able to get to work.  It's annoying.  Just too warm.  It is only down to 79 in here near the computer.  It is 60 outside, so far.  Or was around midnight.  I got up to check the temp out there, then... forgot I was posting and... oh well.  The heat sort of gets to me.  Even 79 is rather warm.

I don't think I'll get much work done, in time.  I have done, pretty much, what I can do.  It'll just have to be what it is.  I have a visitor, potentially, tomorrow.  We will have to speak about some things.  It won't be a happy conversation, but... there isn't much I can do.  Limits.  I hate those conversations, but they have to happen.

Keeping up on Sassy, keeping up on my food.  Trying to keep up on medicine.  The lawn is finally being tended.  And, thankfully, I did see green, and not just weeds.  New grass and some old grass, is... starting to try to kick over a new leaf, so to say.  The heat just... starts wearing on me.  On the good side, it looks like the clouds are already here, have been for two or three weeks.  We have had at least one rain, and perhaps a few sprinkles.  But, usually we don't get that until early to mid August.  So, there is some hope rain will be sooner rather than later.  Rain begins breaking the heat.

One more zone to do, then I can put the sprinklers off to the side and probably go on to bed.  Later, or goodnight.