Tortured dreams.

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Sent to deal with uncles, a clan of them.  Evil ones.  They hadn't regained flesh.  But they had formed a beachhead into the normal plain, and were progressing, as progressives do.  Their evil was leaking out.  I suspect they had been called by ignorant adherents to evil on this side.  Leaking in through them.

Why God doesn't just... because man must choose.  Then why us?  Ah... a) because He says so, b) because man isn't always aware enough, and c) because we are part men.  Well, and who really knows.  God Is, and He works in mysterious ways.  I ask, question, but not really.  I merely suspect.

Why me, for example?  It isn't from raw holiness, if my faith is deeper than any ocean, and pure.  My hope is beyond life, pain... all of it, death.  And my charity is what it could be.  Those... well...  I actually think it is because I sought Him, impossibly for my kind, as a child would, sincerely, without actually knowing His name.  I believed He existed, had to exist.  He did the rest.  Though to, I don't try to hide my sin from Him, or put it above or beyond Him.  I keep Him there, pray forgiveness, even as I am weak.  As when I am strong.

Anyway.  I had to deal with spiritual blight.  Wrestling, physically and spiritually, all night.  I woke in a broken body.  Knots in all major muscles, cramps as well.  My very bones hurt.  Neck strain, and headache typically associated with it.  Muscles and lungs burning with exhaustion.  A few hours, and aside from weariness and mild aches, most has passed.  I haven't been using my pee bottles for... weeks?  Yea.  And before that was down to a quart every other or third night.  But last night I filled over a gallon.

Sheets?

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People have forgotten much.

White, flat, 100% cotton, king.  A set of six.  Actually medical on two fronts.

They can, of course, be used for bedding.  They can also be bleached.  Further, they would be handy in impromptu medical.  Ask any bush doctor or home delivery midwife what those are worth.  Actually the same with towels.  Honey as well.

If applications are quite different, they are both old, traditional, medicine, and general health.  Bleaching for reuse isn't as good as total replacement and some other things.  But when those useful but wasteful and expensive methods aren't available, or fail... the old ways... aren't so bad.

But it isn't tracking, or showing up.  The foods are said to be nearing.  But they are getting delayed and lost.  I do understand.  But if you can't deliver, or even know, slow it down.  You do absolutely no good by rushing, so failing to deliver.  I'd rather have it a week late, but know it is coming and when to expect it.  Foods, at least, are all on some track.  For now.

Frigid.

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What just happened I can't quite tell.  Did cold air just come through, or was something wrong with me?  Did my body just lose the ability to heat itself well?  I crashed so hard, became so tired I couldn't stay awake.  Even my warmest blankets were struggling to help find warmth.

Three or four hours down.  The girls wanted in too.  I had to sort them, as they are terribly jealous.  I got that figured out, but Sam just wouldn't let me alone.  I think she feared something.  Or, maybe, she is used to getting lap time, several times by then, so was demanding her cut of my time.

Her... nagging... drove me from bed.  I turned the furnace up, checked for packages.  Then checked online.  My idea was good, just not fast enough.  They are deluged.  They are now only doing household and medical.  Everything in pre-delivery queue is food, and not that much.  It might be availability?

Feeling better.  Will see how the rest of the day works out.

A busy yesterday.

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Finally got tags on the suv updated.  And, with that, taxes on the house.  Or the fees anyway.  As well, an inspection and oil change.  Grocery shopping, mostly enough for the month, assuming electricity.  Save... no hamburger?  I didn't check tp, or such.  I have that.  Everything looked pretty thin, but I was able to get my needs, mostly.  The walmarts (we have two superstores locally), I heard, are closing overnight to restock.  As are other usually 24/7 stores.

It is spooky out there.  What massive aggressive immigration, a terrible drug problem, encroaching government, and other issues couldn't do, a tiny bug seems to have done.  I guess going woke means going broke isn't just economic?  It is causing a real waking of people.  However, the awakening is turning disastrous.  A lot of the freshly awake... need to go back to sleep. Or wake better.  er.

I suppose everybody has to start somewhere?

It doesn't seem like all that much.  To me it was putting the world on my shoulders and going for a walk.  I needed help just to get out.  Boss's brother went along.  Boss had to work.  I will call about hamburger later in the week.  As well, see about cream.  Other than that, I am staying home.  If I have much choice anyway.

Now many of you get to know what I have known for most of my adult life.  Only, for you, recess will eventually be over.  Or the game will end.  Cheers.

Almost better.

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Medicine, for  a week, has been on target.  All of it.  Food has been off.  I haven't been up to getting out.  Therefore I eat what I have.  I stocked up on foods I can occasionally eat.  Sales, not the virus.  But that is what I have currently.  I have packets of fish and meats arriving... probably.  Still, I need to figure out else to eat with it.

Oh, so why a return to beans and pasta, et. al.?  The "low carb/index" foods are expensive and don't do any better, even if I do their recommended doses.  It might work for people without glucose sensitivity, but I'd lay heavy bills against, if I were a betting man.

As well, that all tastes horrible, or worse.  If I must go with certain foods, it seems that the original, traditional, not only cost massively less and doesn't do any worse for blood sugar, it tastes vastly superior.  I've tried wheat, seed, and seed wheat mix variations, and other stuff.  It just doesn't work.  Still, small doses, and only a few times a month... unless stuck in an epidemic.

I am almost ready to start working.  Even my gaming was, is, really off.  When you can't even enjoy easy pleasures, that is when life can really be difficult.  Working on things.  I am really hoping to fix things around some time this week.  I keep dreaming about working.  Not as fast or heavy as I would like, but... some of it.  It seems even dreaming I know limits.  Later.