Interesting. After I wrote the post about my dream, in a city where I rarely see police, I counted 8-10 cop cars, and probably missed several, all in one day. Nearly every time I went for a drive, I saw at least two, at different times, often going my way for some distance. I don’t know if they are out for other reasons, maybe they like the new vehicle, or maybe they do scan the internet and blogs (which, in truth, I don’t mind a bit so long as they are legitimate and not looking to just test new powers or bash citizens). Generally put, I do trust them (if that was the case). However, if that was the case, they really didn’t read through the material well, or their reading comprehension or my writing skills (or both) are greatly lacking?
As well, I’m not only clean of history, I’m clean of intent. I have no interest in NAZI’s, Black Panthers, Communism, Socialism, the overthrow of our government, nor hurting anyone or myself. Life is just too good, there is too much potential in both people and their lives to squander anyone’s life. Beyond that, and truth be told, though I am a conservative, I am not terribly Republican or anything. As a new Catholic, I am probably even less interested in politics than even the weak general conservative impetus might otherwise have granted. In finding a home in the church, I have ceded a bit of my political idealism. I guess I know we can’t all get along, but when we can, why not. We truly do live in the land of milk and honey, where the poor are fat and the rich are fit!
I didn’t worry about the number of police (except that something dangerous might be happening, and being a college town, I might never be told of the danger). With the Virginia Tech thing, in the near past, with brutal minded who have lost hope, with the lack of communication in college communities, I think I’ll stay in until the weekend is over. Well, I would like to get to church.
I have been a poor adherent lately. Oh, I pray, usually daily, but I haven’t been going to church. My medication situation (high blood pressure medicine) has regressed, but that may be mediated before long. In spite of getting things done on this vehicle deal, I wouldn’t call it a great play. I was late doing some of the required work, I couldn’t get my paperwork organized, I couldn’t make morning meetings, and just wasn’t on top of it expect for looking at the numbers (all of them) and seeing if it was right for me. As well, targeted meeting times were not doable, etc. So, getting to church on time, even with a regular time has been difficult. Still, I am functioning better when I do function.
Saturday, April 28, 2007
Thursday, April 26, 2007
The Beast is Prowling
My dreams are often odd, confused, and sometimes frightening. I only occasionally remember them when I wake up, I just have a strange sense of them sometime later, recalling details, places, feelings, and such in vivid colors, odors, and even the feel of textures and breeze or wind against my face and body. They can be reality based, which actually are the scariest when they are nightmares, or more like B flicks (which when scary, I actually enjoy… free horror flick edited for Christian content by my bean, heart, soul, or God), or a collections of ideas, sensual inputs, and or pictures, but they bubble to the surface in my waking time. They can be dreams of the future. For example, I recently (early last month) dreamed that it would snow at least twice more, be very cold around the times, and cold enough that the snow would stick around for a few days at least once. My ex-fiancée laughed at this. A nurse I see on occasion scribbled down a little note (for the doc?). Well, it did happen. No comments from the naysayers as of yet. It was good for a laugh.
Aside from this dream, and my dreams of the Rocky Mountains, I’ve been having odd dreams of a possible very bad near future for the last few years. My dreams seem to indicate that what I am seeing is only a possibility, not a sure thing. In them, the US isn’t lost, but Europe is. As such, we are isolated for the most part. In the US, several large cities and a small city may be bombed, smaller yield nukes (I still recall some of the details of delivery and set-up of the mechanisms and fissile material (separate actions, culminating at poi)), mostly local immediate death, some fall-out victims, and long term but not millennial detoxification (can’t be sure which cities, though Chicago seems familiar, L.A. (I think but I haven’t actually been there so can’t be sure), with other big cities like San Fran, N.Y.C, even St. Louis as possible targets, and the small city being something like Iowa City or Ithaca, N.Y.). The time-frame is five years, plus or minus three years, if it is to happen.
Losing Europeans as allies, currently and with the exception of Britain and perhaps Italy, is almost akin to losing Chavez as a friend, politically speaking (in my oft pessimistic, sometimes quite off, view, mind you). However, even a temporary loss of access to mutual markets, investments, and travel would have a serious economic but also psychological affect. With the Euro/US dollar exchange rate, what is happening with Chinese currency, and a few other factors, it looks like the US is prepping for just such a potential outcome. I may be reading it wrong, but when the dreams started making themselves known, I started looking for indications. The way these things are working, America may be losing some business and trade potential, but it is limiting China’s capitalization of our currency as it ties (partial now?) it’s currency to ours and keeping our markets from becoming more dependent upon Euro trade, all of which would limit our liability in just such an eventuality, while also devaluing China’s enrichment (this point is highly debatable, but not completely deniable). China’s military modernization and build-up could only be ignored by the NY Times, going from a whole military of about 1.5-2 million twenty years ago to a standing army alone of nearly 3-4 million (As I recall). As well, Russia’s policies and hungers are starting to make the scene with every reporter, current or ex-government official, and mogul exiled, tried, or outright killed in an open manner. As well, NAFTA, some of our other free-trade agreements, and our immigration situation all make a LOT more sense within the tactical consideration of just such a future. All of that and what I offer are not guarantees, mind you, but to me these are little indications that the world is not static and is in fact quite politically fragile and potentially explosive, and policies are being explored and activated by each major player nation to seek it’s best starting, mid, and end game position.
As much as I might grumble about “European allies”, “blue” states, cities, and peoples, this scenario brings me no joy. I don’t worry about the economic impact, we are Americans, we will make do as we must. But I do worry about several other things; our response, actually more so if democrats hold majority and presidency (i.e. do not hand a machine gun to a murderously angry peacenik, or power hungry socialist/communist, and I am betting she will get the post); the potential for a major loss in our crop production, with the potential for massive amounts of farm land loss; and of course there is the social unrest that would occur in just such a scenario. All can be contained, countered, and we can continue a slightly more subdued life, but it would take time and time is not cheap. Worst case scenario is if both of these events are timed or coincidental (unlikely coincidences however).
Aside from this dream, and my dreams of the Rocky Mountains, I’ve been having odd dreams of a possible very bad near future for the last few years. My dreams seem to indicate that what I am seeing is only a possibility, not a sure thing. In them, the US isn’t lost, but Europe is. As such, we are isolated for the most part. In the US, several large cities and a small city may be bombed, smaller yield nukes (I still recall some of the details of delivery and set-up of the mechanisms and fissile material (separate actions, culminating at poi)), mostly local immediate death, some fall-out victims, and long term but not millennial detoxification (can’t be sure which cities, though Chicago seems familiar, L.A. (I think but I haven’t actually been there so can’t be sure), with other big cities like San Fran, N.Y.C, even St. Louis as possible targets, and the small city being something like Iowa City or Ithaca, N.Y.). The time-frame is five years, plus or minus three years, if it is to happen.
Losing Europeans as allies, currently and with the exception of Britain and perhaps Italy, is almost akin to losing Chavez as a friend, politically speaking (in my oft pessimistic, sometimes quite off, view, mind you). However, even a temporary loss of access to mutual markets, investments, and travel would have a serious economic but also psychological affect. With the Euro/US dollar exchange rate, what is happening with Chinese currency, and a few other factors, it looks like the US is prepping for just such a potential outcome. I may be reading it wrong, but when the dreams started making themselves known, I started looking for indications. The way these things are working, America may be losing some business and trade potential, but it is limiting China’s capitalization of our currency as it ties (partial now?) it’s currency to ours and keeping our markets from becoming more dependent upon Euro trade, all of which would limit our liability in just such an eventuality, while also devaluing China’s enrichment (this point is highly debatable, but not completely deniable). China’s military modernization and build-up could only be ignored by the NY Times, going from a whole military of about 1.5-2 million twenty years ago to a standing army alone of nearly 3-4 million (As I recall). As well, Russia’s policies and hungers are starting to make the scene with every reporter, current or ex-government official, and mogul exiled, tried, or outright killed in an open manner. As well, NAFTA, some of our other free-trade agreements, and our immigration situation all make a LOT more sense within the tactical consideration of just such a future. All of that and what I offer are not guarantees, mind you, but to me these are little indications that the world is not static and is in fact quite politically fragile and potentially explosive, and policies are being explored and activated by each major player nation to seek it’s best starting, mid, and end game position.
As much as I might grumble about “European allies”, “blue” states, cities, and peoples, this scenario brings me no joy. I don’t worry about the economic impact, we are Americans, we will make do as we must. But I do worry about several other things; our response, actually more so if democrats hold majority and presidency (i.e. do not hand a machine gun to a murderously angry peacenik, or power hungry socialist/communist, and I am betting she will get the post); the potential for a major loss in our crop production, with the potential for massive amounts of farm land loss; and of course there is the social unrest that would occur in just such a scenario. All can be contained, countered, and we can continue a slightly more subdued life, but it would take time and time is not cheap. Worst case scenario is if both of these events are timed or coincidental (unlikely coincidences however).
I Don't Know, But I've Been Told
I notice as I debate conflicting ideas either with a friend, or not so much friend, or just ponder other takes on issues or my own takes, I come to a realization that all ideas collapse at some point. Essentially, no idea is infinite, linear, or even fully functional within all but strict artificial parameters, at least within the limits of my mind. I can poke Titanic sized holes in almost any idea proffered. Every argument I play against ‘their’ argument can be played against my beliefs, or most anyway. Now, my ideas have an origin which I believe to be God, ‘their’ ideas, should ‘they’ check, are at best from men (though some are rather carnal or animal based). I won’t negate even the carnal based origins as they are a part of our experience if a mistake to take as either the goal or sum of it. Without God, carnal reality is it.
What it comes down to is faith. Oddly, though I understand I have a faith, and though I understand this faith is nothing if not flimsy to an atheist as an example, I can’t help but know that ‘their’ beliefs are based completely on faith in spite of ‘their’ reluctance to even believe ‘they’ have faith. I am not sure why one cannot admit that one could never prove, let alone outright know, even a tiny fraction of the science one has been taught (dogma). Basically this means that what ‘they’ have been taught is accepted on faith and as such is no more substantial to me than religion is to ‘them’.
So, while I open the door to conversation, ‘they’ shut the door to communication, even personal realization. While I look for and at proof and proofs, ‘they’ close 'their' eyes to my sources of wisdom. While I fail to uphold my faith, then realign, then fail, then realign, in a never ending yet self-aware fashion aiming at an objective ideal, I see ‘them’ fail and write it off as subjectively irrelevant or by a blanket assumption that there are no wrong answers (except, that is, for the answers I offer, or more to point, God offers).
What it comes down to is faith. Oddly, though I understand I have a faith, and though I understand this faith is nothing if not flimsy to an atheist as an example, I can’t help but know that ‘their’ beliefs are based completely on faith in spite of ‘their’ reluctance to even believe ‘they’ have faith. I am not sure why one cannot admit that one could never prove, let alone outright know, even a tiny fraction of the science one has been taught (dogma). Basically this means that what ‘they’ have been taught is accepted on faith and as such is no more substantial to me than religion is to ‘them’.
So, while I open the door to conversation, ‘they’ shut the door to communication, even personal realization. While I look for and at proof and proofs, ‘they’ close 'their' eyes to my sources of wisdom. While I fail to uphold my faith, then realign, then fail, then realign, in a never ending yet self-aware fashion aiming at an objective ideal, I see ‘them’ fail and write it off as subjectively irrelevant or by a blanket assumption that there are no wrong answers (except, that is, for the answers I offer, or more to point, God offers).
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Too Much, So Fast, Yet Doable
I have been wondering about life, in general, in these times. Could it really be much different than civil life 10,000 years or more ago? Have we, as humans, developed added sensory qualities, cognitive abilities, or some other less than identifiable yet enhancing property or properties that allow us to be more than the men from ages gone? For my part, I don’t think so. We have made gains, as a race, but we have also lost ground. I do believe that a child born 10,000 years ago, then somehow transfigured through time to today, and then raised in this environment (barring some sort of handicap of form or function, and all else being equal), would do just fine and nobody would be the wiser.
So, I am left with looking at what we have gained and what we have lost, given the assumption that man has not changed. Our gains are all technologically driven. This technology is based on math, engineering, chemistry, and other hard sciences and medicine. Our losses are based on that same core, and enhanced by the soft sciences, i.e. psychology, sociology, perhaps even philosophy. I will explain.
First, the hard sciences have given men the ability to have a numerically greater and higher quality production system, increasing variety and availability of everything from the basics of food, water, and housing, to wants and partial needs such as transportation, athletics, and time for intellectual interests. Making something like a ten-speed bicycle or a car 200 years ago was not something that could be done well or quickly, if at all. The price, size, and quality, among other things, being limits to general consumption (for example think steam engine car, aka train, today). People in this country lived brutal short lives. As recently as the turn of the last century, there were no real medical schools (not accredited), and many ‘doctors’ didn’t even attend what was available. Today, we live well into our 70’s and seemingly longer every generation. We can either buy a custom piece, possibly produce it ourselves, or buy very good quality mass production items. And what we can buy or buy to make those things is mind boggling. If you want an electric or gas RC plane, a customized automobile, a metal lathe, or a yacht, it is available. And services from haircuts to, massages, to a trip into space are available. At times, it is vulgar what people buy and discard almost as quickly, things an ancient man would have fought and died for and which he would have taken exceptional care (think of how many canoes sit in garages, how many extra cars people have, even fishing equipment that sits idle most of the time) Oh, I’m not pointing fingers, I’m thinking about my own commercialism and sharing my part of it. It seems we have lost value for quantity, needs are so easy that only wants remain. It’s not a complete loss, but it seems the balance is now tipping too far into the loss column.
In the modern age, a man doesn’t need to work 12 hour days or more just to feed, house, and cloth a family. A wife isn’t constrained from work by the rigors of manual labor and the demands of a household. These should be good things, but the law of diminishing returns seems to be mocking man and telling us that at some point, we may indeed eradicate some of our basic human needs that go beyond the basics. At some point, so few men will be needed to make products compared to the population that we will not feel useful, successful, or fulfilled, let alone getting tired enough to sleep well or even digest our food properly. A man from a thousand years ago (or Mexico, Africa, or even parts of Europe) would think he had found the lost land of Atlantis, or the land of kings and queens. And, to some degree, he has. But how many kings can there be before a society fails to function? How many jobs exist, seemingly just to put a man in a place doing nothing but looking busy currently?
As for soft sciences, the reason I put that in the net loss category is because rather than helping man in any way, they seem to quantify men, blending a man with other men, shaving off (or attempting to) the individuality of each one. The ‘science’ ‘loses’ a quality there, a deficiency here, a feature there, until a man becomes men and then just numbers. As well, the information which is of functional use is used not to enhance man but to mitigate or outright control populations, it is used to sell (unneeded, otherwise undesired) items, and to define man as an animal or machine, or as I term it, a biomachine or biocomputer (I use these terms for true animal and other lower species). So, soft sciences are great for the powers that be and for businesses, but they work harshly against each individual man.
As well, I think a major concern in modern times is something that is known, if not on any front burners for medical research (or is wisely kept from the media awaiting solid data). The stress of modern life created by too many choices; too much information too fast, beyond our capacity to sort it, compare it’s value, and then act on it; and continuous sensual stimulation from advertisements, traffic, odors, electrical devices, electrical delivery itself, and even indoor plumbing all combined may be having a seriously debilitating affect on some or all people. If true, expect the next generations to have that problem compounded.
Honestly, little can be done to change this. All each man can do is make his individual choices as best he can, link with others who concur, and perhaps turn off and turn away from what is wrong as he sees it. Perhaps living in a quiet Iowa town isn’t so bad. Perhaps figuring how to live on $50,000 a year is better than making a million a year but not even knowing your family. Perhaps no tv is better than being stimulated into buying things you use rarely, once, or never. Choices, choices, choices, it doesn’t come down to whether to choose or not, it comes down to whether you make the choices or someone makes them for you. Probably more, it comes down to who you decide to trust to make the bigger choices, while you sort the minor life affairs and what or who to trust as a guide for moral issues. No man is an island, that is a certainty, yet too, no island is a man.
So, I am left with looking at what we have gained and what we have lost, given the assumption that man has not changed. Our gains are all technologically driven. This technology is based on math, engineering, chemistry, and other hard sciences and medicine. Our losses are based on that same core, and enhanced by the soft sciences, i.e. psychology, sociology, perhaps even philosophy. I will explain.
First, the hard sciences have given men the ability to have a numerically greater and higher quality production system, increasing variety and availability of everything from the basics of food, water, and housing, to wants and partial needs such as transportation, athletics, and time for intellectual interests. Making something like a ten-speed bicycle or a car 200 years ago was not something that could be done well or quickly, if at all. The price, size, and quality, among other things, being limits to general consumption (for example think steam engine car, aka train, today). People in this country lived brutal short lives. As recently as the turn of the last century, there were no real medical schools (not accredited), and many ‘doctors’ didn’t even attend what was available. Today, we live well into our 70’s and seemingly longer every generation. We can either buy a custom piece, possibly produce it ourselves, or buy very good quality mass production items. And what we can buy or buy to make those things is mind boggling. If you want an electric or gas RC plane, a customized automobile, a metal lathe, or a yacht, it is available. And services from haircuts to, massages, to a trip into space are available. At times, it is vulgar what people buy and discard almost as quickly, things an ancient man would have fought and died for and which he would have taken exceptional care (think of how many canoes sit in garages, how many extra cars people have, even fishing equipment that sits idle most of the time) Oh, I’m not pointing fingers, I’m thinking about my own commercialism and sharing my part of it. It seems we have lost value for quantity, needs are so easy that only wants remain. It’s not a complete loss, but it seems the balance is now tipping too far into the loss column.
In the modern age, a man doesn’t need to work 12 hour days or more just to feed, house, and cloth a family. A wife isn’t constrained from work by the rigors of manual labor and the demands of a household. These should be good things, but the law of diminishing returns seems to be mocking man and telling us that at some point, we may indeed eradicate some of our basic human needs that go beyond the basics. At some point, so few men will be needed to make products compared to the population that we will not feel useful, successful, or fulfilled, let alone getting tired enough to sleep well or even digest our food properly. A man from a thousand years ago (or Mexico, Africa, or even parts of Europe) would think he had found the lost land of Atlantis, or the land of kings and queens. And, to some degree, he has. But how many kings can there be before a society fails to function? How many jobs exist, seemingly just to put a man in a place doing nothing but looking busy currently?
As for soft sciences, the reason I put that in the net loss category is because rather than helping man in any way, they seem to quantify men, blending a man with other men, shaving off (or attempting to) the individuality of each one. The ‘science’ ‘loses’ a quality there, a deficiency here, a feature there, until a man becomes men and then just numbers. As well, the information which is of functional use is used not to enhance man but to mitigate or outright control populations, it is used to sell (unneeded, otherwise undesired) items, and to define man as an animal or machine, or as I term it, a biomachine or biocomputer (I use these terms for true animal and other lower species). So, soft sciences are great for the powers that be and for businesses, but they work harshly against each individual man.
As well, I think a major concern in modern times is something that is known, if not on any front burners for medical research (or is wisely kept from the media awaiting solid data). The stress of modern life created by too many choices; too much information too fast, beyond our capacity to sort it, compare it’s value, and then act on it; and continuous sensual stimulation from advertisements, traffic, odors, electrical devices, electrical delivery itself, and even indoor plumbing all combined may be having a seriously debilitating affect on some or all people. If true, expect the next generations to have that problem compounded.
Honestly, little can be done to change this. All each man can do is make his individual choices as best he can, link with others who concur, and perhaps turn off and turn away from what is wrong as he sees it. Perhaps living in a quiet Iowa town isn’t so bad. Perhaps figuring how to live on $50,000 a year is better than making a million a year but not even knowing your family. Perhaps no tv is better than being stimulated into buying things you use rarely, once, or never. Choices, choices, choices, it doesn’t come down to whether to choose or not, it comes down to whether you make the choices or someone makes them for you. Probably more, it comes down to who you decide to trust to make the bigger choices, while you sort the minor life affairs and what or who to trust as a guide for moral issues. No man is an island, that is a certainty, yet too, no island is a man.
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
My First Big Piece of the Dream
I put my down on this today, should be picking it up as early as Thursday.
It is always a bear getting the deal to work, trades are difficult, and knowing if or how badly you are being worked is not really possible. However, I like the deal, it's within my parameters, it was simple in a mechanical way, and it's done.
It's a Nissan Xterra Off-road with a better than stock stereo, automatic, with a few extra goodies too boot. I wanted the blue, didn't want to wait (supposedly) 6 months.
Update 4-27-07:
I brought her home today. I took her for a drive right off the lot. Came home and my cousin stopped by. Took her for a ride again, he insisted against my great resistance. Came back home. Took her for a ride again. Came home. I think I'll do something novel, go for a ride and pick up groceries (just enough to excuse the late jaunt).
I do like the Xterra, it could move on to love and trust, but I take my time. She is very comfortable and sits quite high (a good high, not tilty or stretched feeling). She has some brass, but after the Camaro, it would take A LOT to impress me. Still, there is a feel of a smaller v-8 instead of the real 4.0L v-6. She is much taller than she appears in the picture above. I can ground step into her, just about perfectly, but I am 6'4"(+). In real life, she almost has the affect the little hummer might bring. So far, so good.
I won't worry about mileage until she has 2k under her belt. And, one immediate mod... synthetic oil. I will have that put in next month (I think, as money goes, you know). No need to break in the engine, so says their chief mechanic.
Technically, it's the 28th as I post, if that's a problem, get a life.
It is always a bear getting the deal to work, trades are difficult, and knowing if or how badly you are being worked is not really possible. However, I like the deal, it's within my parameters, it was simple in a mechanical way, and it's done.
It's a Nissan Xterra Off-road with a better than stock stereo, automatic, with a few extra goodies too boot. I wanted the blue, didn't want to wait (supposedly) 6 months.
Update 4-27-07:
I brought her home today. I took her for a drive right off the lot. Came home and my cousin stopped by. Took her for a ride again, he insisted against my great resistance. Came back home. Took her for a ride again. Came home. I think I'll do something novel, go for a ride and pick up groceries (just enough to excuse the late jaunt).
I do like the Xterra, it could move on to love and trust, but I take my time. She is very comfortable and sits quite high (a good high, not tilty or stretched feeling). She has some brass, but after the Camaro, it would take A LOT to impress me. Still, there is a feel of a smaller v-8 instead of the real 4.0L v-6. She is much taller than she appears in the picture above. I can ground step into her, just about perfectly, but I am 6'4"(+). In real life, she almost has the affect the little hummer might bring. So far, so good.
I won't worry about mileage until she has 2k under her belt. And, one immediate mod... synthetic oil. I will have that put in next month (I think, as money goes, you know). No need to break in the engine, so says their chief mechanic.
Technically, it's the 28th as I post, if that's a problem, get a life.
Sunday, April 22, 2007
The Call of the Wild
I’ve been dreaming of late. No, I didn’t dream of two more snows, again. The dreams weren’t about current real life or even possible future in a general sense. The dreams seemed to be more of a calling than anything. I dreamed of mountains, valleys, streams, rain, wind, snow, and sunshine. I dreamed of a natural life without schedules, the typical rush, and without most modern conveniences. I dreamed of getting to some places others can’t drive, and some other places not even the best drivers and vehicles may go. It wasn’t an easy idyllic dream. It was sometimes hard work just living. Quite often, most often, it would be considered boring compared to tv, computer games, work, and modern play. But the dreams are powerful.
I am not sure I can make this dream real. But I feel the draw. I don’t suppose I would do it for the rest of my life, but it would be nice to do it for a year or two. I wouldn’t do such a thing just to say I did or to prove myself (did that last, to great dissatisfaction and some small griefs). No, I would do this to reset my priorities, to understand a simple life before continuing with this complicated one, to explore my nation, and for a daily dose of fresh air right up my nose.
Now, I don’t plan to die out there, as many with similar dreams seem to mis-plan to do. I have been looking at everything from vehicles to gps beacons to field kit and food and water, short and long term solutions and possibilities. It isn’t something I could do this year, very possibly not next year. However, it is something I could be preparing to do. I have already started buying some of my needs, testing these where and when I can. I will be buying more things in time and some things over time. Self-heating MRE’s and other fireless food solutions, target practice and perhaps small game hunting experience up-dating, technology studies regarding phones, beacons, and other convenient or “necessary” equipment, general field and location planning, even mail resources discovery. No, I don’t plan to “live the dream”, I just plan to live simply and control-alt-delete my personal machine. I might even be able to do this frugally enough to jump start my retirement account (which, for all practical purposes, I don’t need being that I am already receiving retirement. However, I might want to buy a house someday, or go back to school on my own nickel.).
I must admit, the world I’m living in leaves much to be desired. Politics and morals are so poor as to make a man despair. Still, and in truth, today is yesterday and will be tomorrow. Sometimes civil life is bad and sometimes my ruby glasses have turned to blood red and I just can’t see the goodness for the roses. My bad, and part of my consideration. If the world is horrible, is the viewer the problem or is the world? Is my lust for things, women, and achievement or lack of attaining these things in ways which are satisfactory the problem or is the world really going wrong?
Most will never be able to know. Women generally couldn’t and wouldn’t do what I am planning. Most men wouldn’t either, to be quite honest. I am not even sure I will do it, but at this point, that is my plan. In two years (slimly possibly less), after this coming August, I plan on having my house cleaned out, selling or disposing of things that won’t last, storing the rest (yeah, I’m keeping my Kershaw Shun layered steel kitchen knives and clever, All-Clad cookware, leather couch set, and mucho good comfy bed for when I get back). But much of the rest, computer included, will go away. I might have to get a lap-top though, I have heard satellite phones can now offer internet services. I know it’s not “outdoors-like”, but it can be convenient for shopping for vitals, an occasional blog, email, and general and specific local information, and trip planning (and burning time on those stupid games). Well, only a maybe on the lap-top.
Until then, I have a lot to do so… “Just, just get off my back man!”. Hehehe I think I’m hyped, a little nervous, and even a little cynical of my own resolve, among other things, all rolled into a nifty ditty-bag called me.
I am not sure I can make this dream real. But I feel the draw. I don’t suppose I would do it for the rest of my life, but it would be nice to do it for a year or two. I wouldn’t do such a thing just to say I did or to prove myself (did that last, to great dissatisfaction and some small griefs). No, I would do this to reset my priorities, to understand a simple life before continuing with this complicated one, to explore my nation, and for a daily dose of fresh air right up my nose.
Now, I don’t plan to die out there, as many with similar dreams seem to mis-plan to do. I have been looking at everything from vehicles to gps beacons to field kit and food and water, short and long term solutions and possibilities. It isn’t something I could do this year, very possibly not next year. However, it is something I could be preparing to do. I have already started buying some of my needs, testing these where and when I can. I will be buying more things in time and some things over time. Self-heating MRE’s and other fireless food solutions, target practice and perhaps small game hunting experience up-dating, technology studies regarding phones, beacons, and other convenient or “necessary” equipment, general field and location planning, even mail resources discovery. No, I don’t plan to “live the dream”, I just plan to live simply and control-alt-delete my personal machine. I might even be able to do this frugally enough to jump start my retirement account (which, for all practical purposes, I don’t need being that I am already receiving retirement. However, I might want to buy a house someday, or go back to school on my own nickel.).
I must admit, the world I’m living in leaves much to be desired. Politics and morals are so poor as to make a man despair. Still, and in truth, today is yesterday and will be tomorrow. Sometimes civil life is bad and sometimes my ruby glasses have turned to blood red and I just can’t see the goodness for the roses. My bad, and part of my consideration. If the world is horrible, is the viewer the problem or is the world? Is my lust for things, women, and achievement or lack of attaining these things in ways which are satisfactory the problem or is the world really going wrong?
Most will never be able to know. Women generally couldn’t and wouldn’t do what I am planning. Most men wouldn’t either, to be quite honest. I am not even sure I will do it, but at this point, that is my plan. In two years (slimly possibly less), after this coming August, I plan on having my house cleaned out, selling or disposing of things that won’t last, storing the rest (yeah, I’m keeping my Kershaw Shun layered steel kitchen knives and clever, All-Clad cookware, leather couch set, and mucho good comfy bed for when I get back). But much of the rest, computer included, will go away. I might have to get a lap-top though, I have heard satellite phones can now offer internet services. I know it’s not “outdoors-like”, but it can be convenient for shopping for vitals, an occasional blog, email, and general and specific local information, and trip planning (and burning time on those stupid games). Well, only a maybe on the lap-top.
Until then, I have a lot to do so… “Just, just get off my back man!”. Hehehe I think I’m hyped, a little nervous, and even a little cynical of my own resolve, among other things, all rolled into a nifty ditty-bag called me.
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