Does another morning ever surprise?

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Okay, not quite that bad.  Or, bad but I realized hard days like this isn't going to kill me. In a sea of dead days, this is an exceptionally difficult day.  Thankfully I just recently had a worse day.  I can't remember pain, but I have learned to... qualify the depth to some reasonable level of accuracy.  Even so, if it isn't very recent, within days, comparison isn't possible.  A few exceptions: the worst was getting used to a bad heart, perhaps exceptionally in that I was told the pain was all in my mind; then there was draino; next was the cracked ribs.  Each of the latter two took months.  The former... I still suffer.  It is what pains me, directly and not, to and on this day.

The ducks get let out, and back in, plus food and water;  the cats are fed, watered, and have their litter tended; I get fed, something, several times a day, even if just a hot fatted tea.  Exhausted as I am I do what is possible.  Gaming, too, as that is all that is possible.  Today is tough, but not from pain, directly.  It exists, but the real suffering derives from absolute exhaustion.  After putting the ducks in I will try to sleep again.

Later.

Me, myself, and ducks?

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I think we are really beginning to get along.  I tend them at least twice a day, though sometimes more.  I am learning what can be done, regarding water.  It is easier, so far, to water them outside.  If it gets low volume, by a given night, it is easier to dump it after letting them in... or if it will be too cold or I suspect it will.  But they seem motivated to keep the water thawed during the day.

As well, we have a jolly time herding.  They squawk and fuss, if at this time the way small nieces and nephews while playing tag, or it.  I actually think they are beginning to like me.  An ugly adopted duck... huge, no bill, but good for food, water, safety and freedom as is best, if with strange quacks.  Sometimes I merely talk, other times I attempt to emulate.  My quack is awful.

Today has been the closest to a painless day since...  In a month?  More.  Why tell docs, their treatment methods are not acceptable.  I lived with bruised or cracked ribs for months without pain  pills.  Like it or not I will take pain before pills.  The exhaustion though...  No matter how long, or often, I sleep, I can't wake well, fully.  My eyes are staying a hangover shade of red-pink from exhaustion?  Perhaps too little oxygen?

Since days and nights are crossed, I am back taking medicine in the oppositional pattern.  It works.  Then I take the water pills at a time I am awake.  Otherwise they are at least partially wasted, and probably disturb my sleep as well.  I may attempt a nap shortly.  Oh, diabetes has become a problem again.  I'll have to work on it.  If, as someone noticed, I am nearing a catatonic like state.  Not lost of mind, just having my body lost to me.

Later?  Good night?

Attempting to get back to it.

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First things first.  Which means medicine.  I couldn't find either medi-set, containers for two weeks of medicine, per.  I tried to take medicine out of the bottles, but that didn't work at all.  I pushed to find at least one of the medi-sets, did, and filled it.  I do my best, but especially when off off medicines and in winter or summer I can't guarantee.  So I check meds closely when taking them.

I changed vitamins back to the old way, one daily not two, plus adding minerals and a b super mix.  These really help deal with the water pill problems, such as leg cramps.  It also prevents as serious a drain on potassium.  I've experimented with more, less, and other.  This is about perfect.  Despite my calorie load by size requiring double the vitamins, while taking twice as much, but dropping the extras, I started cramping again.  Hmm, I still wonder about the extra plus two dailies... that water pill really takes it out.

I have gone another way with the ducks.  Instead of trying to keep water in and out, I just water them outside.  After speaking with the gent who sold them, watering them once or twice during the day seems enough.  With how my system works, they get watered all day.  The tub fills quickly.  Plus is the right size that between volume, the duck's thirsts, and bathing, it stays thawed, so far, all day.  I feed them inside and out, though.  Without water they eat less, but do eat some.  I really enjoy my little friends.

Oh, and in spite of all else, effort was made to begin climbing.  A simple lower single rope technique was arranged.  I didn't think I'd be able to do srt, single ascender.  I was correct.  There are other methods, including nearly double and triple pulley type riggings.  The goal is to get to single systems, just not yet.  Descend, sure.  Just not up... yet.  Part of the problems is medicine, both on and off, and the season... if those probably aren't the majority of the problem all combined.  I am too weak and still overweight.  Next time, a more complex setup.

Very rough.  Lots of pain.  I have been hitting the aspirin hard.  Not to ease the pain, save that focus and actions can happen.  It offers a larger chance at some function, better sleep, and a few other things.  Brutally painful, some days.  I have a lot to do, slim chances at doing it.  I'll keep at it.

Cold out there.

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The outdoor thermometer I trust read 12~13 ° (F).  Which isn't horrible, unless you are wearing thin pj's or working with water, or both.  I am and was.  It looks like I'll be redoing water morning and evening pretty much from now on.  I could only imagine doing it for more or larger animals.  If my... when my sleep schedule is off, I'll just have to do it when I can, but twice a day.  They require water to eat.

I have started medicine, but it is brutal.  Everything hurts, and my sleep patterns are going wild.  I was stuck in night mode, but it was regular... ish.  Now I am sleeping and staying awake or asleep in six to twelve hour increments.  For some reason, it is blocking up the nasal passages too.  It all works out eventually.

I actually started this early morning, but crashed so hard I couldn't finish until mid-afternoon.  Still tired.  May barrel roll back to bed still.  Later.

Too hungry.

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I kept trying to eat less.  Succeeded, but without results.  Blood sugar is staying in the 160's ~ 180's.  So, yesterday, I made a placket of chicken drumsticks, and ate them.  While tasty, I realized, after gorging twice, that the problem was not enough fat.  Pork ribs and bacon was thawed for tonight.

Rather than have them separately, I combined them.  Pork ribs aren't the fattest, at least not these.  Wrapped in two pieces of bacon, however, and you are getting there.  I haven't done this before, so had to make it up.  I cooked the rip cuts partially first, then wrapped them in bacon for another equal time, having flipped them halfway in each cooking half.

It added a lot of flavor and the fat I needed.  A few smaller pieces and I am absolutely stuffed.  Two pieces is all I need, unlike the chicken, of which seven pieces just, mostly, worked.  Ugh, way too full.  May have to see if bacon wrapped chicken works.  Not a bad trick, if working with partially cooked meat is novel and... odd.  Worth the price of admission.

Crashing.  Ate too much in spite of being a tiny... smaller anyway, amount.  Nap time?  Later.