.
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Okay, not quite that bad. Or, bad but I realized hard days like this isn't going to kill me. In a sea of dead days, this is an exceptionally difficult day. Thankfully I just recently had a worse day. I can't remember pain, but I have learned to... qualify the depth to some reasonable level of accuracy. Even so, if it isn't very recent, within days, comparison isn't possible. A few exceptions: the worst was getting used to a bad heart, perhaps exceptionally in that I was told the pain was all in my mind; then there was draino; next was the cracked ribs. Each of the latter two took months. The former... I still suffer. It is what pains me, directly and not, to and on this day.
The ducks get let out, and back in, plus food and water; the cats are fed, watered, and have their litter tended; I get fed, something, several times a day, even if just a hot fatted tea. Exhausted as I am I do what is possible. Gaming, too, as that is all that is possible. Today is tough, but not from pain, directly. It exists, but the real suffering derives from absolute exhaustion. After putting the ducks in I will try to sleep again.
Later.
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