Not much more.

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Some of the waterers were done.  A fatted coffee.  Sassy has eaten, splitting out her two cans into four meals.  She is actually getting slightly more than before.  At least until I started upfeeding Sam.  But she seems quite satisfied with it.  Though I don't think she eats dry food at all.  So, that may be the end of that.  Though she seems to enjoy treats.  I can do that.

I may yet warm up a few more pieces of chicken, and have that.  It was good.  Not sure if it will warm up well at all.  Then again, maybe not.  I'd love to, but it is getting late.  Already 20:21.  Yea, I think I'll just have a bit of fruit, then go on to bed.

Blood sugar is really good.  It was 186, so I dosed with the fatted coffee.  It is down to 86?  Yes, odd.  It wasn't a large dose, more a medium-large.  I'll eventually start taking bp again.  I'm on medicine well, and more active.  Still, not sure, after I changed things a bit, whether this was enough to keep bp low enough.  Too tired to fuss more with it tonight.

I did a very few things beyond.  I keep checking the litter boxes.  Sassy only pees a few times a day, and poops usually once or twice.  I can't believe how much Sam was going, both types.  I swear, it was as if I had three or four more cats.  It will be very easy to keep up on those for Sassy.  It has been that way for a few years, though.  She must have been ill, but not showing, for a long time.  I am amazed she lived as long as she did.

I did treat my hands, again.  Balm and gloves.  I'll wear them tonight, to bed.  My hands are slowly, irregularly, improving.  I just am doing this in hopes that improvements speed up.  As it warms, too, I think, somehow, that is more the reason for the improvements.  Though, I suppose, balm and gloves really do help.

Yes.  A fruit snack, then bedtime.  Good evening, day, and goodnight.

Seriously good meal.

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I have sure missed eating better.  Just... a few veggies, meat done well and good, enough fill, maybe slightly overfill.  It also helps with what else might be ailing one, whether it be heart, head, body, or spirit.  Just right, and in good condition this time.  The chicken wasn't odd, old, or bad.

I keep meaning to get to more, but I... am tired.  I checked on the rabbits, to at least get up off my butt.  Tapping their food trays, to make sure the food they have is available.  And they are eating well.  Still, will only feed them once a day.  Waterers are still flowing.  It is 44 out there.  Very nice day.

As well, I called my brother... offering condolences.  His mother in law has died, just this last Wednesday, in the o'dark just after midnight.  And his father in law is in very rough condition.  He has been shepherding them to clinics and hospitals and wherever else for the last seven months.  They became an even more integral part of his immediate family.

Guilt that he couldn't do more.  I do understand.  So many various and conflicting emotions.  I assured him, because I am sure, he did everything he could do.  And, probably, a little extra... at cost to his own comfort and will.  I told them I will keep them in my prayers, and send warm thoughts and wishes their way.

I didn't tell him about my loss.  He has enough of his head.  It might not even have meant anything to him.  But, really, it would have been worse had it added to his woes.  No, condolences, prayers, and well-wishing.  Especially with his father in law also in tough condition, perhaps even in the hospital at this point?  Yes, yes I think so.

His time is his, more than it has been in a long time.  And, yet, he would have it otherwise.  I know that.  I know the guilt of begrudging care, from time to time.  The difficulty surrendering some things.  It's a tight game.  Still, it is good to have others join in, pray for, and speak with the bereaved.  For all our sakes.

I still can't quite get to things.  Might not yet today.  But the hope is still there, if hope is fading.  Just too tired, weary from crying, and sadness.  Still, trying to attend Sassy, and enjoy what is becoming our new relationship.  Trying to break the grip of sorrow.  Sam would not have wanted me to feel so low.  She much preferred me active and pleasant.  We had many good years just so.  And enjoyed each other right to the end.  So... not to move on, but just to keep going?  I think so.

Later.

Not as quickly as hoped.

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A full meal, chicken, potato, and veggies.  The broccoli was slightly overdone.  The rest was spot on.  Crisp skin, cooked to well without becoming dry chicken.  Very nice.  When it is time to bury Sam, she will get a few chicken thighs, all to herself.  I am so used to her begging for my food, especially chicken.  It was so annoying, and yet I miss it.

Sassy isn't interested.  She just likes her canned food.  I am doing a trick with her I learned with, because of, Sam.  I am feeding her half a can of food, then, later, when she asks for food again, giving her the other half.  I figure two cans should do her quite well, per day.  And, so far, I am right.

There at the end, I couldn't feed Sam enough.  I kept adding to what I would feed her.  This last week or two she was eating, say, four cans herself, plus a reasonable amount of dry food.  The cancer was getting it all though.  What amazed me is how good of a mood she was in.

She truly was amazing.  She loved seeing me, would follow or lead wherever I would go.  She wanted to be with me.  A miracle girl.  I really wanted her to make it to one more summer.  She so loved summers.  I think she knew though, for when it would get above freezing, say 34 or 36, she would go out... try to enjoy.  I think she knew her time was coming, and she wanted some outdoor time.  Though, too, she would often go out in the severe cold, when I would be feeding the rabbits.  Just tail along.  Looking up, catching my eye from time to time.  Making sure I remember she was out with me, so as not to leave her out.

I can't believe how little Sassy is eating.  Strange, really.  Sometimes I thought she was begging, because she was talking to me.  So I would go get her food, and that... she wouldn't eat.  It wasn't food she wanted.  So, now, when we talk, I ask her if she is hungry.  If yes, she gets really chatty, if not she just looks a bit confused.  No dummy there.  She wasn't interested in the chicken, or bones.  I may be able to help her lose some weight, now, though.  Without Sam to push for constant feeding, and her lack of interest, two cans of feed a day should help her lose weight.

I'd love to get her to come with me on chores.  Especially now that it is warmer.  It is 42 out today!  Sam would have been in seventh heaven.  I'd like to get Sassy to enjoy going out, even if it is just with me.  Besides, I miss my little tag.  We'll see.

Now I have to rest a bit, and digest dinner.  But what a wonderful meal.  I haven't eaten that truly well in a long time.  Two thighs, a potato, and a bit too many veggies.  Still, once in a while it is good to slightly overdo.  Water, mostly, then a fatted coffee later, and my food has been handily handled.

Some gaming, then to dishes and boxes, if I can.  Maybe some laundry, or at least a basket of the stuff to the upstairs as I go to bed.  I'll... keep trying.  It's taking the wind out of my sails, having Sam not be there.  I'll get busy, forget, and then become worried.  Only to remember.  I have been worried I would find her, dead, somewhere... or she would hide, and die, somewhere.   That time was short to arrive.  She was so spirited and graceful through it though.  If she were just laying around, or moaning, or something, it would have been so much easier.

Anyway...  Yea.  To gaming, for an hour or two.  Then on to dishes, or boxes in the spare bedroom.  Hopefully I can get both done today.  I really will give it my best shot.  It is too bad Sam won't get to see the house all cleaned up, and cleared.  I know she would have enjoyed it.  Even if her bone horde would have been confiscated and removed.  It'll take a while to find all her hidey holes.  She would just chew on them, constantly, when she didn't have other food.  She was trying her best, and doing well.  But it was time.

Later.

A small but good start.

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With what else I did this morning, a few more things.  Waterers reset, enough for a few days.  Hoping to top them all off through the day.  Had to get a new bag of feed from the garage.  Still in the Xter.  Opened it and refilled the daily food bucket.  I need a short break after those things.

My mother called, to check on me.  All as good as can be hoped.  I told her about the burial plans... and the odd toy that Sam preferred.  And about Sassy pal'ing up again.  I'll be using those grooming gloves on her, a few times a day.  It's good for her and me.  I already have a place dug, for her.  But it's frozen, so filling it currently isn't possible.  It was for the last of the ducks, but... they... went their own ways.

A break, and then I'll get to chores, hit the dishes and see what is needed with those.  Probably make something for lunch, possibly chicken thighs with veggies and a potato.  A bit more of a break, but then into one of the rooms, to tear through boxes and else.

I found moving bags, for mattresses and spring boxes.  Sort of expensive, ~$30 per.  And, yet, a good thing.  As well, some other vacuum bags, to store some other things longer term.

While shopping, I saw dress shoes, in my size, which should fit and are affordable.  Maybe, in time, better shoes?  But, for now, these fit my current income system.  Next, to find slacks I like, which fit.  I don't want modern, I want traditional.  With shirts drycleaned and up, a few slacks, and maybe two variety of dress shoes, should get me on the way back to more formal church going.  And, maybe, additions to my wardrobe for that over time.

I have started getting back to life.  It'll be a few pieces at a time.  Church first, as an outside thing.  Then maybe the mens' group.  Hopefully some hiking.  Life is improving.  I know it seems tight, but remember, I am doing this, slowly as I am... but doing it... in the dead of winter.  That leaves the better months and seasons as great possibilities.  Especially if I can get a furnace and central air in here, and be more comfortable, more often.  Yea, definitely have to work on drafts, from doors and windows, and other things.  To make the use of those other things more affordable.

Well... yeah... on to my break.  Might put the chicken in the oven during it.  Before I start it really.  Then, on to my break, so as to get on to more work.  Work, work, work.  I can handle it.  I like to, will.  Good morning and day.

Down earlier, up later?

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Yeah, well, I'm dog low today.  I got to bed at around 18:30, perhaps as much as ten to fifteen minutes later?  But about then.  I woke at 05:01, but didn't finally climb out of bed until 05:51 or so.  It's been a slow haul since.  If only twenty five minutes have past.  Dressed, at least for reasonable house, and minor outdoors, events.  Just not even to the store wear, if I could in a pinch.

Hair brushed.  Trying to brush two to three times a day.  Morning and night for certain.  Teeth brushed, trying to get on top of that too.  I bought a waterpik, but won't really be using that until I get the en suite reset and going.  I bought a generic one, long ago, but it was very unsat.

Water is heating for breakfast, I put the dishes back in for a rinse, though maybe some will have to be washed again?  At least it is in hot water, for now.  Laundry is pretty much as caught up as I can be with it.  Save folding and sorting the last of it, and figuring out how to store it all now.

I need to reset waterers, for chores today and onward.  Then get that going this morning.  I was late, with chores, yesterday.  I had intended to get to those in the morning, but life just... too many things too do, too little time.  I keep expecting Sam to jump out, nearly get run over, in my rush.  She knew how to flag me down, slow me down, to get food, or attention.  Yea, still crying over it.  My nose is sore from the sniffles.  Stupid cat!

I'll see what else I can dig into today.  I am going to start in one of the downstairs bedrooms, sorting through boxes.  I have been faster, more efficient, and tackling sorting.  I am hoping a day will see a bedroom done.  Both in one day might be pushing it?  Though, too, there are other things going on.  A multi-front attack on the house means doing just one thing in a day isn't possible.  Still, who knows.  It's possible.  

The dishes, sorting the last of the laundry and figuring out how and where to store it.  Possibly getting rid of clothes I don't, won't, or can't wear anymore.  Finishing dishes, maybe starting another load.  Chores, feeding Sassy... oh my... the litter box?  Sassy hardly uses it.  Sam must have been in it almost constantly.  Sassy seems to pee two to three times a day, and poops once?  Maybe twice?  Sam was using it as if she were three or four cats!  Poor thing.

As well, boxes, sorted through.  Which room?  I don't know.  When I get to that point, I will look into each and then decide.  Probably the spare bedroom.  Work, work, work, work, work.  Maybe not all that, but... a session... from an half hour to two... every few hours.  With gaming between, so I can catch my breath.  No promises, I may not be able.  But I will be aiming to get most of this done, today.

I'm trying to get the dumpster full, one more time?  If I can do it this week, I may, or may not, send it back.  Then, begin collecting boxes again.  If I get enough for one more shot, then order it, fill it, once or twice, and send it back again.  Money, money, money.  It isn't all that much, but it is money.  Adds up.

Well, on to brewing breakfast, a bb, maybe waterers or some of them, then to gaming?  Yea.  Later.

I can't believe how much it hurts.

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I thought I was, had become, immune.  It has been so long since I lost one so close.  Worse, my involvement.  I am sure it was the right thing to do.  But that doesn't change some things, or alter feelings.  I keep expecting her to beg for food, or come up and paw me, to get attention.

This hurts in ways I haven't known for so long.  There are only two others who have been in my life for as long as I have been with Sam.  I just can't believe she is dead.  Brutal.  Sassy is talking to me, from time to time.  She knows.  I think she hurts, in her way?  Odd, she hasn't been talking to me for a long time.  She knows it hurts me.

I can leave the door open, to the upstairs, now... when I sleep.  As much as I loved Sam, she had become a bit dangerous to me.  She would scratch me, to wake me.  But it wouldn't wake me.  I couldn't let her go up.  I suppose her cancer was using all the food she was eating.

Damn, even so, I will so miss her.  Yea, I really did think I had gotten over loss.  In a strange way, I am glad I haven't.  Is it even love if there isn't loss when death comes?  I have a weird headache, from this.  Some other things.  It isn't just tears.  At least she isn't starving.  On top of in what must have been horrendous pain.

I... will go... try to get my mind off this.  Sam... going to miss her something awful.  She is a very special animal.  Even put up with me.  Awful, terrible.  Not another word, though.  You all know.  I know.  The finest gifts have the highest prices.

Sam is no more.

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I took her in, with hope... and doubts.  Cancer.  Two types.  Advanced.

It was a tough call, one I am still not sure about.  I held her, petted her, gave her the attention I haven't been able to provide because of her conditions... and my limits.  Then the first shot.  I kept holding her.  She slept, finally, and well.  Probably the best she has slept in months.  I petted and talked to her, while she slept.  And then the final shot was given.  I felt her heartbeat slow then stop.

They cleaned her up, put her in a box, and I have her here at home.  I put her in the freezer, and will bury her when the weather allows.  One of her favorite blankets, and her favorite toy.  A wad of paper, believe or else.  Of all the toys I bought for her over the years, she had no interest in any of them.  But she loved a wadded paper ball.  Would spend hours with it.

I tried to show Sassy, but she knew.  And wouldn't come near.  I suppose, with cats, it's different?  Yes, Sassy loved Sam.  Sam was her mother, as much as any could be.  It was a love-hate relationship, but it's all Sassy had.  

My mom called, but I didn't answer.  I called her, out in the vehicle, when it was all finished.  Hard to keep it together.  My brother lost his mother in law, and we are just being told.  No, they... had, have, much to do.  And... just handling it...  It is a difficult day.

She was such a champ.  All through her waning, from age, then illness.  I just... didn't want to take her in.  I was pretty sure they were going to take her away.  She still got up, and led the way, and... loved me.  So very rough.  But she is at peace.  I know she wanted rest, peace, painlessness.  Her eyes, I could see it.  She was still here, with us, but just.

So many things to do!

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The jackets did finish washing and drying.  I have pet blankets warming in the dryer.  My reset them as I go take a shower.  Shave?  If there is time, maybe not.  Then to get dressed, get Sam arranged, and get out.  Time moves so fast.  I really don't understand how people can get up, showered, dressed, out the door, and be to work on time.

I have been focused on this since... 06:30.  Nearly three hours later, and I am just, maybe, going to make it.  Uhrm, with another hour thrown in, with driving.  I am doing my absolute, flat out, level best, and this is as good as it gets.  Then again, there are many complications this morning... getting a cat carrier ready, washing a load of laundry, showering which I doubt is an everyday thing.  If needed, showering at night might be better?  Or showering just every few days?

Yeah, I best get going.  I only have twenty five minutes, to shower, dress, and go.  Ugh!  So fast, that time thing.  While being mostly dead sort of such, that I don't because I can't usually rush is... a good thing.  Later.

Up.

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Why keep with the title?  Well, it's the same week, day after day, work day after work day.  And I am still waking and getting going.

I brought my midlayer jackets down, and got them and a few other synthetics going.  I am hoping they will be done in time.  I hit dishes lightly, quickly, next.  They will need another shot, but for now, they are out of the way.  Then I brought out the pet carrier, and got it washed out and in.  Patted dry, but set to air dry a bit more.  A few pet blankets in there, and Sam should be good.  Though I will pull the Xter out and get it warming before heading out.

While I woke easily, I woke much later than hoped.  I wasn't awake until 06:30.  But... I did a very good job, did those tasks in an half hour.  Now, after the jackets have run, I need a shower, maybe a shave.  The whiskers were trimmed recently enough that a shave should be a reasonable proposition.

While in there, after the shower, I need to set up waterers.  And, then, get chores going before I head out.  Hopefully early enough to make it to the market?  Nah, I'll go after.  They may be keeping Sam, if they think they can help her feed up.  I will take some of the foods I provide her, so she doesn't get thrown by strange food.  Both wet and dry food.  But, I have to warn them, she drinks a lot, so pees a lot, and really needs to.  

She is in such rough shape, I don't know if anything can be done for her.  I washed her recently, first with some help, then solo.  She is right back to being in horrible shape just a few days after washing her.  I don't want to wash her too often, afraid that will worsen her condition.  And her fur looks like hell after being washed, for like a week.  Poor baby.

So, just... getting to things this morning, just mostly focused on being clean and presentable, and out the door on time.  Geeze but time slips by so very fast.  Especially after a week of work.  I best get breakfast brewing.  The shower shouldn't be a problem, and rather quick.  Just have to wait for the jackets to go into the dryer.

Anything else I really need to do?  Quickly?  I brushed my teeth, will do so again before I go.  And, with breakfast down, nothing else.  Oh, fed the girls, first.  And managed their litter right away.  So, that, too, is managed.  And, I will feed Sam the last half of her portion of the can of food after I shower.  She doesn't eat as much, but she wants to eat often.  This seems to be helping her.  And keeping her from constantly begging for food.  I know it's not her fault, but that gets so terribly awfully annoying.  I had to figure something out.  This seems to work.  Mostly.

Well...  I'll game for a while.  But have to be careful with that.  It will eat me, and definitely time.  I have to be ready to break, immediately, when it is time to get started on the next step.  I'll set the oven alarm for forty five minutes, and check on the jackets.  If they are ready, into the dryer, and me into the shower.  I may have another load to wash?  If so, I'll set it up for after my shower.

Oh, I had fallen off insulin a few weeks ago.  Since off it, I wanted to see how it would do.  On just food, my diet, I kept it to about 225 average, without any insulin.  Not... perfect, but... strangely better.  Since it hit a fairly static number, I started slow acting yesterday, and then last night.  Fasting insulin is 192.  So, I will take a bit of a dose of fast acting insulin with breakfast, and begin checking more regularly.  That's... why I haven't been putting readings, I was seeing about ... things.  Two weeks?  Four?  Four at most, I think, but more like two to three?  Time... she flies, but I think...

I should start checking bp, now that I have been back on medicine strongly, regularly, otherwise, for quite some time.  That last little near glitch, when the month supply didn't prove out well... but that has been a while.  If it is too high, if I'll give it a week of readings to see, I can... do that.  If it is too low, I would know.  Just right?  Maybe, but doubt it.  Ugh.  Still, better than no medicine, for certain.

Go, go, go, go, go!  Damn.  I'll... try.  Later.

Not a great day.

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I did hit the dishes once.  And I am hoping to have the pillows dry.  Plus a load was put through before it, and sheets after it.  So, I will be able to have completely clean bedding tomorrow.  Most of it today, just fresh sheets tomorrow.  I won't be awake when they are dry.

Feeding, watering, small bits of work.  I am tired, couldn't push through to as much today.  Still, just dishes and laundry, while not complete successes, are moving in the right direction.  As the pillows, I hope, dry, I am getting water to boil, for veggies.  I'd prefer to steam them, but those options aren't yet available.  Broccoli and cauliflower, with butter.  It would have been nice with the blade chop, but you can't have everything.  The pan wasn't ready then, yet.

Tomorrow I am hoping, when taking Sam in, to find milk.  So as to start kefir.  Raw milk is good, once it is going?  Until then, partially boiled milk is necessary.  So the various growing things in it don't compete what is naturally in the milk... at least until the grains are well developed, stronger.  Will see how this work out.  Maybe it is all the same, in the end.  I just wasn't happy what the grains, or sludge more like, that I was seeing.

I will continue, with small things, over the weekend.  But I need a break.  Tired as the dickens.  I have done well.  And will continue, I think, to work.  I just need to back it off for a day or two.  It may end up more days, and a heavier break.  But I think I can do light duty.  Will have to see.  The heart is literally tired.

Well, on to supper.  I did find a small bit of the chops from before, left in the fridge, in a small baggy.  I added that to the veggies.  Won't be fancy, but could add just that touch of meat needed to make a meal seem real, full, whole.  Then to wait for the pillows to dry.  Then on to bed.  Goodnight.

Having a tough time getting started.

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I've been pushing.  It makes sense that I would be lagging a bit.  At least I am not crashed out, sleeping.  I did get laundry going, and have kept up on it.  With the weird thing, laundry soap in the bleach compartment, I ran three loads.  The first I added no more soap, just put bleach also into the shoot for that.  Then I ran a load with bleach, through that, again.  And, finally, I washed the area out, as the soap simply wasn't being processed by the bleach, then ran water through the dispenser.

I'll see how it looks, smells.  Should be all good.  The final load should be done.

As well, I have been feeding Sam a bit more often.  Not more, per se, just more often.  I only feed her half her share of canned food, then when she begs, I feed her the other half.  Though I am feeding them more often total, too, a bit.  Feeding smarter, rather than quite so much more.  I also have had breakfast, then one of the chops.  Of course, Sam got some of that, even though there wasn't much on a single chop.

I still haven't gotten to chores or dishes.  Just... rough.  Cold?  Yeah.  I'll get some more hot something to drink.  Game just a bit more.  Then redo enough waterers for a couple days, get to chores, then do the dishes, or get them rotated through.  Oh, but before anything, I will hit the laundry... moving the pillows into the dryer and beginning the long process of drying those.  If I get through these three projects, I won't worry about more.  Not today.  And I will try to get to bed a bit earlier, tonight.  So I'll ease off the throttle a bit.

If I do anything else, it will be cooking chicken thighs in the oven.  Aiming to crisp the skin, and just get the meat to right below finished temp.  Oh, and I may put veggies in, and roast those with the chicken.  Won't take as long, so the veggies will go in for the last... well, you know, actually?  I may put them right in.  For whatever reason, probably altitude, veggies take just as long as chicken.

Later.

Down and up slightly later.

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I just couldn't relax and get down into a sleepiness needed for sleep.  It was 22:00, a bit after by up to half an hour, before I could sleep.  Insomnia was setting in.  I had to actively break that.  It's a difficult thing to manage while in it.  Sometimes that doesn't work.  Very lucky the time when I can see and even try to figure that out though, so... a good save.

I woke at 05:34.  I was awake one other time, to pee.  I filled half of one of the three liter jugs.  So, yeah.  It wasn't until 05:42 or 44 when I actually got out of bed.  Just... thought to shut my eyes for a second.  You all know that routine.  Thankfully, it really was just a few minutes, not hours.  Could have been.  Still sleepy.

With the blankets washed, I decided to wash pillows again today.  I got that started right first thing.  Though, for the first time in my life that I can recall, I put laundry soap in the bleach input area!  I just added some bleach down through there, too.  I will wash those again, this time with only bleach, and hope that runs it through.  Such a dope.

The first thing, today, besides that, is dishes.  I think I will finish the freezer top, clearing and cleaning.  Then hit the dishes.  Washing everything, scrubbing even what is just soaking.  Pulling that so as to get a shower.  Then putting it back for, hopefully, one last soak or rinse.  Pulling the rinse out, and rinsing was was washed and soaked, by then, twice.  Ugh.

After that?  Business, I will try to get to some business.  By phone and computer.  Then I will begin working on boxes in the other rooms, the master and the guest rooms.  A box here, a box there.  Going through boxes is going quicker than I thought, and is less... painful that I had thought.  Still, ending up with more boxes remaining than I had hoped.

Oh, I will look on amazon for air tight coverings for the mattress and box springs I am keeping.  I could get industrial cling wrap, if that would be tricky to apply it is doable.  It would have to be wrapped, as a limb with gauze, or such, wound around, slightly overlapping.  Then, move those to one room, along with the bases.  I figure I could completely empty, say, the master bedroom first.  Completely clean that.  Let it dry and air out.  Then move everything from the other room, and hit it with a cleaning bomb too.

I read up on permethrin.  I had heard it was bad for cats.  From the manufacturer, they say it is only bad for cats when wet.  So... I will be using that stuff.  Definitely in the spare rooms.  Since no one is in there, for now, this will just help keep minor bugs out.  That, and sprinkle diatomaceous earth on the carpets, working it in.  Then, every time I vacuum from then on, sprinkle baking soda the night before, and recover with diatomaceous earth.  Minor, and mostly healthier, bug controls.  Eventually, the upstairs will be cleared and cleaned in the same way.  And, my bedding will be sprayed with the stuff.  Not many bugs up there, but spiders, rarely.  Far less up there than downstairs, but... I want even less.

Water should be hot enough to begin stewing breakfast.  A pork chop, with veggies and canned fruit for dinner.  For supper?  Maybe some palm heart rice, with tomato and some of the cooked burger.  Nothing fancy, but it works fairly well.  I need to get a vinaigrette going, so it has overnight to marry.  Love that stuff, goes exceptionally well with a pork strip salad.

Hmm... Oh, best get going.  I need to redo most of the waterers again!  Ugh.  They sure drink a lot, and quickly, when given half a chance.  But... all good.  I want them to be in the water and food to their needs and some of their simple wants.  A bit of time waking though.  Breakfast will help, as will a bit of gaming.  Later.

Not as much as hoped.

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Laundry, moving forward.  I'll warm what was drying, which should be done.  Then put the load in the wash into the dryer.  I grilled the pork blade chops.  It took a long time to cook, the grill just wouldn't heat up.  Still, they came out about as perfect as one could hope.  Two of those and a potato.  Yea.

I did end up cooking all of them, two will be used for leftover meals.  One on a salad tomorrow, one with veggies the next day.  I am looking forward to those.  Hmm, may do it the other way.  I didn't craft a vinaigrette today, and won't before sleep.  I didn't hit dishes.

I am running out of steam.  I did get the three boxes out to the dumpster, now that it is open.  Oh, should have moved the grain, bird feed, out.  I offered to give it away, no one would take it.  I suppose I could just offer it to wild birds, hereabouts.  It might disappear quicker than one would imagine?  I don't know.  Maybe.

I'll want to do dishes early tomorrow.  So as to get a shower.  The bits and spits of snow really messed up my hair.  Gotta shower again.  Odd how that works.  Yes, a bit of laundry, listening to music while that runs, then off to bed.  It really has been a good start to the week.  I may need a day off.  Tomorrow?  The day after?  I'll keep going if I can.  And, even on a down day, will try to do light stuff, like clearing and sorting at the kitchen table, laundry, calls, and such.

So tired now, I worry about tomorrow.  Then again, that has been every night since I started working.  I keep worrying that tomorrow I would not be able to work.  And, yet, every day I have gotten to some work.  Maybe not as much as I want, or as quickly.  But I... am getting things done.

Good evening, day, and goodnight.  I'll keep you in my prayers.  Oh, best take medicines before bed.  I hate remembering, when up there.  Because, yea, I will get back up, dress enough, and go back down, like or not.  Medicine is becoming helpful, or potentially getting there.  Goodnight. 

I found it!

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I went through all of the clothes.  Sorted them, into type and such.  Some are where they will be, most need to be... handled... hung, folded, more.  Still, separated they are.  It will make anything else easier.  No phone, there.

So, I started going through where I had been working, at a table I have up there.  My collection of cellphones.  Not all of them, most of them.  Not in that group, but I did organize those a bit better.  Then near medicine, where I had put a few things.  Down in, with the medicines, under a few things which had been set on top of the medicines and phone.

Oh, what a relief!  Been going about three quarters crazy trying to find that.  A nervous wreck, really.  Not the loss, though there is that.  More the need to make calls and not having a phone.  Way too much going on to be without a phone.

It wasn't drained, or turned off.  It was merely still in airplane mode.  So, the battery was still at 78% or so.  I put it in airplane mode, on top of turning it off, when I go to bed.  Otherwise bad actor telecallers have learned how to trick the phone on while I am trying to sleep, and calling through.  Not with this system, so far.

I called a vet, first thing.  Can't really afford it.  Will do it.  Figure it out.  An appointment is made.  The initial check-up cost is known.  After that?  I don't know.  I will feed her extra, until then.  I simply can't do more for her.  But I can't feed her that much extra forever, I simply can't afford it.  And, Sassy would want to eat too, and is already way too chunky.  Ugh!

Then I called my brother.  He didn't answer.  Now calling the V.A. pharmacy.  Trying to get replacements for what I lost.  Done!  Well, they have been informed.  Sending a message to the pharmacists, to see about what all can be done.  I think their phone services are crazy busy there, because no one is going in.  Masks, pushing the jab, the whole works, is closing down the V.A.  We won't go.  Risked ourselves, stupidly at times, for this nation.  Won't let them just kill us now.

Oh, I also called a very local pest control company.  I am hoping to get that going.

Ugh, what a relief.  I am trying to remember what all else I needed the phone for?  I'll... figure it out tomorrow.  But, for now, I... am good.  Plus, got a nice grouping of things up and downstairs.  I can now get the full boxes out to the dumpster.  Ah, and put the laundry in the dryer.  And, actually, I think I have enough whites to do a load of those.

I will do dishes in a bit, and probably try to refill waterers.  I have to refill waterers more, now that it is staying thawed long enough for them to empty the waterers.  All good.  I'd much rather they have water all day, than have to do chores twice, and they still only get an hour or two to drink.  Bleh.

I should sleep well tonight, regardless of what else happens.  Oh, and now?  On to the potato, then setting the grill to going in an half hour to forty five.  Give that potato time to get done.  Big potatoes.  Do the potato, then laundry, then take my break.  Later.

I did get the boxes from upstairs.

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Well, the empties, broken down.  plus a few which came in, and were in this room.  No real race, and it didn't need to be.  But I raced... so that it wouldn't be?  :)  I heard it, but was into something.  I wanted to see it, this time.  And, did make it out just in time.

Wow.  What a truck!  If I was every going to go head to head, with even a semi, that's what I'd want to be in.  That is like a regular garbage truck that started eating other garbage trucks, until it got as big as it could get width-wise.  Twelve foot high?  Ten foot wide?  And, say, thirty... more like forty, feet long?  Wow.  It ate my mattress!  I don't even think it burped.

Since then I have just been gaming.  I needed a break, took one.  Now it is time to get on up and begin digging through this and that.  Hopefully finding a phone along the way.  I'll give it an hour or two, then start the grill.  If I can keep going, while the grill is getting up to heat, I will.  Then dinner... grilled chops.  Hmm, I did buy potatoes.  I think I will start the oven, and put one of those in while I work.

It's difficult to time work with cooking.  I never know if I can work for an half hour or two hours.  So, it's... just... give or take.  If the potato finishes, and I still have work in me, I can get the grill going and...  No... no.  I think I will put a potato in twenty minutes before I start the grill.  Pork blade chops.  I'll just cook two, putting the last two back in the fridge for another day.  Decisions, decisions.

Oh, got busy looking for the phone, and missed the KoC meeting.  I did realize, and sent an email.  I'll... try to be there next time.  Then, too, perhaps I can get to confession, and begin attending church, even roughly, before the next meeting.  I need to get my dress clothing, see if it still fits, works, too.  Oh, and new dress shoes.  Nothing fancy, but definitely my size.  No wonder dress shoes hurt so terrible.  They are the most unforgiving shoes they make, and I was wearing three sizes too small.  Well... assuming I can even find dress shoes in my size, that don't look like garbage.  Shirts should be okay, but slacks?  I've... lost weight, or at least size.  Still have a belly, so it actually looks worse, but so it goes.

Anyway...  I'll get on up to it, then get to a meal.  Then a break and another work session?  Second chores too?  Probably not a shower.  But something I have learned, is even if you brush frequently, so can wash less often?  If your hair gets snow or sprinkle in it?  It totally destroys it.  It turns it into a grease slick.  So, a shower tomorrow, hair included.  I was trying to see how long I could go, just brushing, before it really looked too ratty.  Live and learn, as I go.  Later.

Yeah, well, I... am starting.

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Three small batches of dishes given a start.  Two to be washed, one to be rinsed.  Laundry started.  I only have enough for one load, but it is going.  Chores finished.  I hope to do second chores.  Some of the waterers were empty, some were just now freezing, some were frozen solid?  It didn't make sense.

I need a break.  I did all of that in one shot.  So, not bad.  But, that was that.  So I need a break.  Then upstairs.  To clear, arrange, sort, fold, store.  Sure, I'll hit laundry, and what I was working on/with yesterday.  But, too, I will do whatever gets in the way, or fancies my eye.  I won't say it will be orderly, but that is the intent.  Still, boredom, curiosity, and chaos all have their part to play.

It is snowing, lightly.  As it did last night.  Lightly, so far.  There are and were times, where it looks to come heavier.  But with the world warming, it just isn't sticking much.  Dusting, when the surface finally cools, is all.  For now?  So far at least.  And it is 28 F out there.  Just below freezing, with a mild but pervasive air movement, a sort of wall of a breeze or wind.  Not terrible, but it does add extra chill.

No matter, it's a good start to the day.  A bin is ready, for when I go up, with extra bags in the basin.  Hmm, I might have time to break down a few boxes, and get them in the dumpster before time?  I'll try.  All very good.  After that effort, I'll game a bit, then go on upstairs and sort.

Work, work, work, amen!  And I'm happy for it.  Truly.  Amen on top of that for that last.  Have a great day, or die miserably, alone, and else.  :p  I'm having a great day if it kills me.  Later.

A slower start today.

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Fine, fine.  Nothing is ever guaranteed around here.  I do what I can, when I can, as I may.

Cat litter has been tended twice, and the girls have had their second breakfast.  Oddly, Sassy asked for more.  I mean, sometimes she does that, but not usually right immediately after eating.  I don't get that at all.  She got an earful.  No!  They are getting fed four times a day, until I can get Sam in and treated, perhaps both of them?  If it is something that can move between cats, then yes.  Otherwise no.

First thing?  I suppose I should set up dishes, then get laundry spinning.  and, finally, upstairs to sort through clothes... hoping to find my phone.  As well, I will go through some of the materials I kept from being tossed, the boxes with tosser material, as well as laundry and a small waste bin up there.  Oh, I'll take a larger bin up there as well.  The small one is good for the little I usually have up there... facial tissue, an odd tag or bag from an item, or... such.  Not for clearing the whole area and getting rid of new or old, unused, and such.  A few extra bags, while at it, in the basin.  All dry trash, so... no worries.

Oh, but chores first.  It's sort of a dark day.  The sun must not be out, definitely not fully.  That is part of why I am starting so late.  I kept expecting some light.  I use that as a... get up and go thing, sometimes, this morning was one of those times.  I didn't realize it was overcast.  So, yes, chores, then those other things.

Bit by bit?  I guess.  It's as much as I can do, as fast as I can do it.  There is always hope speed or endurance will increase.  Wait, it actually probably has.  Like I mentioned, protein may well be helping.  Normally, I would only do a day, or three, at this pace.  But I would already be feeling it.  Crashing on the third day, at best.  But, today is the third, or fourth?  Something.  And I am still going.  I don't even see the train light at the end of the tunnel.  If, too, I haven't been working like a healthy human.  This is good just compared to my efforts to date, and for decades.

I am consuming between sixty and eighty grams of protein, extra, in the powders.  The bovine based is much better.  The plant based is sludge, costs more in calories, and I think will cause constipation if I am not careful, so I use less of that per day, keeping that to twenty to thirty grams, depending how much protein I get that way.

Oh... salad!  And chops.  I left some of the meats out.  Blade chops, pork, will probably be grilled, and perhaps one of them eaten fresh?  Two.  Tomorrow, I will warm the remnants, cut the meat off the bone, slice into strips, and put on salad.  I wonder if I have lemon juice?  Though a handmade vinaigrette would be wonderful too.  Then again, I can use lemon juice as part of the acid, apple cider vinegar and lemon juice, nearly split?  Something.  Oh, and spices.  I may make the vinaigrette tonight, let it work it's magic overnight.

Anyway... on to chores, dishes, laundry, then upstairs.  Good morning, still, and day.

Up, again.

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I keep saying that.  And, yea, I think I know what it means.  Or... one version.  At 04:20, on the dot.  I didn't get down until 21:00, so I worried I might not wake as early as hoped.  The phone has me riled.

I had thought to work on clothes right away, as I have normally been working a bit before coming down and beginning my internet day.  The thing is, I had to pee.  And, the pee bottle will last two or three days, if I don't do morning pees in it.  If it is 2/3rds full, I will finish it off use it that morning, so as to not have to come down.  but at only a third full, after two days, no.

It may seem trivial, but he effort of bringing the pee jug down, dumping, rinsing it thrice, perhaps bleaching it if it seems prudent that time, is a lot of energy.  I have to be cautious with everything, especially as I try to do a lot of other work efforts.  I only have so much energy.  And, more like a glider, I depend on efficient uses of what is available, than a powerplant which can provide more lift.  Once I am down, to a certain point, there is a good chance that is all for the moment, the day, maybe the week.  I have been doing well, lately.  But that could end at any time.  I think protein is helping, with longevity and some other things?  Maybe.

Anyway...  Up, definitely.  Water is heating, for breakfast.  I have fed the girls and cleared their litter.  I will change their water in a bit, next time I am up... probably while beginning to brew breakfast.  Breakfast, and some gaming, to warm.  Then, upstairs and at laundry.

I showered yesterday, didn't wash my hair.  I have started brushing my hair... at least morning and night, and will be washing it as little as twice a week.  More if absolutely necessary, less if brushing makes that unnecessary.  I may, however, experiment with dry shampoo.  Protein is improving hair.  My finger and toe nails have always been rather healthy, strangely.  They haven't improved, nor do they grow faster, or else.  It's a giants' thing?

Today?  Laundry, if there is enough.  Dishes, and washing the freezer off for to try them on.  Work in the back room and basement.  And work in the kitchen, to further sort and clear the kitchen table and the chairs.  Ah, but first, sorting clothing upstairs.  Of course, all while seeking my phone.  Stupid thing!  Gah!

And, maybe, but doubtfully, a trip to town.  To get milk.  Lightly pasteurized.  I don't believe in organic, but that may be all that is available in lightly pasteurized form?  And, definitely, it would only be that shop that sells goat milk.  If even they sell that.  That might be scarce as hens' teeth?  I'll find out.

I did get the dumpster moved, on my own, if I didn't mention.  It takes a bit of bumping and shoving, but really, I think the difficult part is just getting it going, and getting the wheels, or almost more casters, working for, instead of against, you.  I don't think the weight of what is in matters as much.  The mass of the object, all itself, is the majority of the weight almost no matter what.

Well, I best get to breakfast and gaming.  Good morning and day.

Groceries.

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Nothing fancy.  Forgot some things (cabbage and... some other veggie), skipped some things (9 volt batteries, because they were $10 for two, whereas amazon offers eight for $20).  The rest I think will last me the month.  Salad, my favorite mixed veggie bag, several meats.  All rather expensive.  Even chicken is $4 a pound, for parts!  More per pound whole, or I would have considered parting my own.  Ground pork was $4 a pound.  No, $3.99 is not $3, it's $4.  Ugh.

I was being careful.  But without my phone, or a calculator on hand, and too tired to mess with counting, I just... grabbed with caution.  I was aiming for between $100 and $150.  At $103 and change, I was rather happy.  Then home, and got it all put up, save what I want thawed, most of it already is.  I just need to put that in the fridge?  I'll check, for sure.  Oh, I forgot milk, too.  Ugh.

I also did move the dumpster, for pickup tomorrow.  I believe the phone was used well after filling the dumpster.  So it isn't there.  He called, but it went straight to messaging.  Which means the battery is dead.  So finding it is going to be a trick.  I'll... get to it in the morning.

All that time spent looking means I didn't get a bunch of calls made, didn't get dishes or laundry started, didn't work in the back room, or in the kitchen.  I really did wear myself out looking, and looking, searching, exploring, trying to remember.  It just... I don't know.  I won't let it ruin tomorrow.  I will spend time looking, but need to get on with other tasks too.

Goodnight.

Lost my phone?

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I have been looking for it everywhere I can think to look.  Upstairs, on this level, in my jackets, various pants, sweats, coat, in the Xter.  I am just afraid it was put in one of the boxes that made it to the dumpster!  Ugh.  What a mess going through that would be.  But that may have to happen.

I emailed my pal.  Hoping he could call.  In the next half hour, or half hour after I sent the text.  I think it was on, and enabled.  So... if it's around, I should hear it?  I even checked my path to and around the rabbit pens, hoping it might be there.  Ugh, drives me absolutely crazy when I lose something vital.

I have calls to make.  Important calls.  Daytime only calls, to the V.A., to arrange a termite inspection, to set up an evaluation of my home, and probably some other things.  Well, and to keep in contact with the one who might be working here from time to time.

I did get the package at the post, before it opened this morning.  Medicine.  Was sent my medicine.  Which is super.  The only problem is I lost the newest medicine and extra water pills.  So... really need to talk to the pharmacy.  Bleh.  I have a month supply, but that goes fast!  Month, or two weeks?  Anyway, I have to call about that soon.

I simply don't know where else to look!  And I have to stop looking and move on to other things.  I can't do just that, need a break from looking.  Best have some fatted coffee, and maybe game a bit.  While waiting to see if I can hear a call.  Later.

Damn straight.

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Myself, fed.  Twice now.  The girls fed, their litter cleared.  Actually I think I cleared their litter twice today already.  First thing, then as a side project when feeding them.  Sassy got another fur thinning massage, Sam will too, soon.  It just helps them.  Chores were just finished.  It is 32 out there, but with a cool breeze to light wind.  It feels colder, but not by all that much.  It must be a warmer wind?

A shower, medicine, whisker trim as well.  I need a break, then will set up some dishes, start laundry, get waterers going, then recalculate my day.  I'll need a break in there.  All good though.  Ah, I also need to call about the lost medicines, check about a termite inspection, and a few other things.  I may be able to break those boxes down, the three empties, and fit them in the dumpster.  Just fewer things to add later, and I think I can fit them in.

I need groceries... fresh veggies, salad, some meats, and lightly pasteurized cows milk, or goat milk if I can find it affordably.  Plus, I just want to taste goat milk.  I think I did, long ago and very far away.  But... that was probably nearly right from the goat.  Not necessarily still warm, but just cooled, not chilled.  Just a curiosity, but the goat milk, if affordable enough, is even better for starting kefir.  Not sure if I can get out today.  But, getting closer.  Being clean, and two showers in a row, teeth brushed and else, when I get caught up a bit, going will just depend on timing and other time-sensitive or necessary projects which stand in the way.  Soon, soon.

Starting to get sleepy.  May require a nap before long?  I really don't want a nap.  It could mess up my schedule, until I am well on it.  Even then, I'm just not sure.

Up.

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I went down a bit before 19:30.  Had to... calm to sleep.  Woke at 03:54 or such, but didn't crawl out until 04:30.  Pleased with that.  If I can, I'd like to hold it about there, for as long as possible.  Maybe let it slide to 05:00 to 06:00, but even holding it here would be... good enough.

To boxes, immediately.  I had nine or ten left to sort through.  I ended up with three boxes to toss, which I brought down, and three emptied boxes which are also down.  However, I can't put them in the dumpster.  With the mattress and else, it is absolutely stuffed.  

Still, all good.  They are ready when it gets dumped.  Hopefully I will have more boxes by the time it is emptied.  From now on, getting enough boxes and else out there to fill it weekly will be a challenge.  I like challenges, but, really, it may stall out.  It may be every other week that it can be filled to be then be dumped.  Will have to see.

When bringing those things down, I grabbed laundry.  Not sure there is enough for a full load, or two various smaller loads.  Will check in a bit.  I would like to take another shower, today, if possible.  Trim, certainly, the whiskers.  And hopefully shave too.  Then start dishes, and laundry if there is enough.

Chores after those things, before?  I don't know!  Maybe before, so I don't get stuck with that as a pushing bottleneck.  I get stuck, sometimes, trying to get something so as to do something else.  It overwhelms my mind, or spirit, or... something.  Best to just do and right when I get a sense of it.

Assuming chores, dishes, laundry, shower, shave, and such go forth?  Then maybe working in the back porch area.  I need to clear some things out, so that I can get my bottled water back there.  I have enough boxes to get some packing material and else out of there, and into the dumpster when it is ready.  Then, if I get that cleared, start getting water back there and sorted.

As well, if that gets too much for a bit, further clearing and sorting of what is on the kitchen table, and washing the freezer top in prep for doing dishes.  It's good to have various work types and levels of exertion, so if I get too tired, I can back it off.  But if I get a second wind, I can level it up.  Still, need breaks, which is what gaming offers.

Medicines have been taken.  Water for breakfast is heating.  Another day has well and truly begun.  Good morning and day.  Oh... I have a package at the post, in a box.  Best get that right here first thing too.  The postpeople get a bit cranky if you leave it.  So... best get to that.  Then some breakfast and gaming.  Good day.

Just about to go down.

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I did stay awake for a meal to arrive.  Then set up the cat food, in an orderly fashion.  The girls were begging for real cat food, and, so, I fed them.  After their meal, Sam came, and begged again?  Really?  Okay.  So, I went to look.  Their bowls had been cleared, and cleaned... looking like they had when new!

So, yeah, fine.  I fed them again.  I have no problems feed them, if they truly are still needing food.  Apparently they were.  Usually they have a little left over.  Not this time.  Happy, my girl cats are.  I'll hit their litter, too, before going on to bed.  But that is it.

So tired.  My arms hurt, are sore.  My heart is a bit better, but still has a used, abused, tenderness to it.  Medicine in.  And supper was had.  Even a few fries my pal did not eat... more a gift... I did, and didn't, want fries.  Still, a pleasant add... just a few... for being a good boi.

Well, and as I was sitting here, slowly falling, I found some of those gloves, with bristles, for tending cats which shed a lot, and gave Sassy quite the massage and fur thinning.  Oh, she was in seventh heaven.  I'll try to get Sam up here, and get her some of this too.  I love my ladies, and like to help them, groom them, as I can.  And to love them, as I am able.

Goodnight.  Sweet dreams.

Ugh.

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My contractor stopped by.  He was in town, so couldn't get cat food while out.  But... he had a plan.  We would do some work, here, try to fill the dumpster, and clear the kitchen a bit, then he had to do something in town, so could go for cat food then?  Cool.  Very cool.

So, more work.  First, the rabbits though.  Chores were so late.  I had just showered, was going to do chores, in a bit.  Ugh.  So very tired.  But, okay.  I want to see it done.  I want to be a part of it.  There may be days where I can't do much.  Today wasn't one of them.

So, bits and parts and pieces off the kitchen table.  Down to what is keep stuff.  I will go through that, probably, tomorrow morning.  If I can wake early again.  He has things to do, tomorrow, so doesn't know.  But, maybe more work.  Either way, I will be working... if in my on and off again way.

After getting most things out of the kitchen, or while he was finishing that, I got into the bedroom and cleared the bed off.  Then, we got the mattress out, and in, the dumpster.  Ugh but that was a tricky slick.  He had to get up, and cut some of the mattress, to get it to fold.  Well, it is full!  He'll call tomorrow.  And, this time, I will try to move the dumpster on my own.  If I fail, I'll call in help.  Assuming help isn't here.

So, yes.  And... I am waiting for him to return.  Besides cat food, he is bringing a Wendy's dave's double, on lettuce.  I almost has him get fries, but... no.  I have been staying away from that food, mostly.  I have been doing well, regardless of whatever reading the meters give.  Yea.

So tired though.  But so worth it!  God has blessed me... in letting me try to help myself, and sending help.  What was it, about the talents?  Ah, right.  Risk, reward, greater reward.  Hide, and lose.  Only, it's not coin I risk, it is life.  So be it.  Would rather risk, and lose, than to have not played at all.  Aye.  Later.

Crashing so hard it is going to hurt.

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I haven't done a thing more.  I want a shower, I need to do chores, I had hoped to get out and buy cat food.  I... am falling.  I got a good day.  Trying to do a few last things.  Falling so fast and hard though!  Ugh.

I texted a friend, to see if he would buy cat food, if he is out.  Haven't heard back.  I'll text him the flavor(s), and figure a few other things out.  So tired my heart aches a bit.  Not a sharp, or burning thing, just a dull thud.  Not missing beats, it just feels tired.  Literally, like working out triceps, to exhaustion, then some.  And, later that day.  Sometimes it feels like a painful numb.  Nah, this isn't that.  Maybe a few days after a heavy workout, where the muscle is just a bit lackluster.  Overdid a bit.

I'll take a shower, and do chores.  Just to not end on a lame foot.  Or, a completely lame foot.  So tired.  These will hurt.  Good afternoon, day, and goodnight.

Taking for ever to get going!

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Then again?  Waterers, most of them refilled.  I had enough for chores, but the empties were in the way.  So... mostly refilled them.  Then I realized I was out of medicine.  I could let it slip.  I have been doing exemplary with pill medicines for... a month, almost for sure, going on two, half in to the second month?  Something.

No, I wasn't going to miss.  So, I filled.  I only have enough for a month.  I may have... tossed the medicines I just ordered in!  Ugh.  I will call and reorder.  I have to reorder everything else, anyway.  Yeah.  My bad.  I do my best, my best just isn't perfect.  So, filled for a month, with what I had.  Ugh.  When the refills arrive, I should be able to set up medicine dispensers for three more months.  Makes it much easier to know when to call in for refills.

So, those things, then I found something the cats would eat... canned chicken.  Not their favorite, but... edible.  Now I am set up for a shower.  Maybe a whisker trim.  Perhaps a shave a bit after?  Then to chores.  Well, after I dry enough.  Then I will look over the mattress and look at the dumpster, see if they will work with what is already in there.  If I can get it in, I am guessing that will fill another quarter?  Maybe?

There were a few other things which either needed doing or got in the way.  So, actually, especially for me, I am moving pretty quickly.  I am doing well.  Tired, slightly sore, but... as long as I can keep at it, I will.  In some ways, the place is beginning to look better, in other ways... it looks worse for the strangeness and mess of it.  It'll get there, this time, though.  Right through to well cleaned.  As clean as the place can get.  It's... a bit of an antique.

Well, on to a bit of gaming, then a shower, then some more gaming, chores... and... etc.  It's a bit of give and take.  It's how I have to do it.  Good morning and day.

Right? Right.

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Up!  Again.  I am writing this at 04:51, but was awake at 03:30.  I was to bed probably no later than 19:00, so that was a good sleep.  I actually awoke at 02:30, but was able to rest, if not quite sleep, until 03:30.  Probably a bit of sleep in there though, not even I can just lay, awake, in bed, for long.  Just can't do it.  Drives me nuts to try.

When I woke, I got right to going through the boxes remaining.  So far, most of them are keepers.  But I am separating some bits and parts out.  I have, now, gone through... a dozen or dozen and an half boxes?  About eight to half a dozen remaining.  Ugh.

I may take a basic look at the mattress, and eyeball it's fit in the dumpster.  Perhaps even try to get it out solo.  I am thinking, if I do, run it into the living room, then reverse direction once I get it far enough into the room, taking it out the front door.  That would definitely be the best way.  The other way has so many twists and turns, and things in the way... it would be a nightmare, especially solo.

Monday?  Super.  Looks to be a busy week.  After I finish up there, I move on to the other rooms, doing the same things with boxes.  When boxes are sorted and what is going is gone, then I begin with simple items.  keepers into boxes, tossers into their own boxes and put out.

Breakfast is in the queue.  I think I have enough waterers for one more round of chores before I have to reset them.  The next time I am up, I will bring laundry down.  A shower would be good.  Bit by bit.  Oh, found a decent stash of Conan and Thor comics.  Might be worth something, too.  Though, maybe not.  I'm not sure about the Playboy mags.  Especially since some of them are not even opened.  I'll have to figure out how to date them without fully opening them?  Bleh.  Well, and how to sell them.  Same with comics.  Odd what things can be worth, and just how much, but only this, or that, not the whole lot?

Yes, it has started.  Just clearing the place makes cleaning easier.  If I can get the boxes sorted, tossed or stored, and open the house in the next week or two, cleaning will be much easier.  Then it's just a matter of dusting a few areas, sweeping mopping, vacuuming, and steam cleaning.  Without anything in the way, or on the floor, easy.  Yes, I have a steam cleaner.  Only been used a few times.  I have fluid for it, but... think fresh would be best.

Gotta hurry though.  They are pushing for the inspections and eval, to keep the interest rates promised.  It's got to go quickly.  Which is fine.  If my potential helper can't help with this end, there is more, potentially, he can do on the other end.  If the loan comes through, and he becomes available, I'll have him start with sealing the house... doors, windows, etc.  And, getting one window in... a long time trouble.

Then, get quotes going for the work we can't do, while making plans and buying supplies for what we can do... after pricing the other tasks to know what is available.  I will keep a couple grand to five in the account, add too that, and sip off it as time and problems on the list are gotten to.  New doors, main and screen, would be good.

I keep reviewing the list.  Electrical first, as some things are based off it.  We can't do the panel, but we can figure out why some sockets don't work and fix those.  A new furnace and whole house ac, not much we can do with that.  The bathroom will be all on us, I think.  I think we have the skills, between us, to do that.  The dishwasher will be a delivery thing, we will do the rest most likely.  Oh, and the yard automatic watering system will be us.  If there is enough to start on a project after that, without bankrupting the savings, the next step would be kitchen flooring.

It is linoleum, very old, very worn, over wood.  Not plywood or other sheeting, but something like two by fours.  Very old school... the kitchen floor.  There is stuff, to poor, which would even it out.  Not sure about this.  But, perhaps, a vapor barrier base, then poor the stuff?  Then put... whatever... over that?  

I did look at the cost of flooring material.  I over-priced the area, going a full length by width, if it is only probably about 2/3rds that.  And, at $3 a square foot, it came to about $3k?  Very roughly.  Can it be done more cheaply?  I am sure it can.  I also know it can be done for much more.  I just wanted a very rough materials estimate, and on the high end because... it's always on the high end.

Well, and, not only is the inside going to be cleaned and cleared, the yard, and outbuildings, are going to be hit.  Work, work, work, work, work!  But... I think it is possible.  More so after the last two days.  Motivation through hope?  More desperation.  Throw a dying cat in the water.  It'll kill to get out.  *wink*

On to breakfast.  Then a shower before it gets too late.  Though, time for gaming, to further help wake up, and as a treat for hitting nearly an hour and an half of work before even hitting the main level.  Good night, morning, day.

I did it.

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Nothing extra.  No other tasks.  But I got the last seven or eight boxes which where definitely ready down and out.  It took two work shifts, my shifts are short.  But the break between them, this time, was short as well.  Very pleased.  It's just a small start, even then, but a real start.  And, I did it on my own.

Sometimes having someone help, helps a lot.  Sometimes I just can't get going on my own.  I need help.  Not always all that much, though sometimes it would probably be easier to do it without me.  I see bits of myself in Sam.  Or... the other way around?  I'm as fragile as a Mac truck, but she... isn't as fragile as she would seem either.  More that she can be 'out of the way', or glide with a bump, than that she is strong, but she is strong in odd ways, though, too.

Tomorrow I am hoping to go through the other boxes up there.  See if I can get some or all of them to go.  No need to keep engineering stuff.  Done, with that, at this point.  So, yeah, boxes to go.  Perhaps there are a few boxes which I will still keep.  Difficult to know.  Though I may see about the mattress.  Mother thinks I should, maybe, keep the boxsprings.  I may.  I have another whole newer bed.  Still... there... are reasons to keep some things.

I had thought to toss some old playboys... several years?  Give or take.  Many of them unopened.  I've had better women.  Often, it really was just for the articles.  But... I wanted to check their value.  Or... what some would pay for them.  Not sure if they have any value these days.  Either they are gold, or trash.  I just didn't think it wise to toss years of the mag without checking values.  Probably nothing, but you never know.  Down Town Julie Brown ring a bell?  An MTV chick, from when that station played music.  For some it did.  She wasn't my type.  Anyway...

Yes, I called my mother.  She was just getting her meds and stats taken.  And she was getting ready for bed.  She couldn't focus well, but then I am beginning to fall myself.  I am tired.  Should sleep well.  And, hopefully, wake to work tomorrow as I did today.

I never did make a fatted coffee.  I think I will now, then play the game a bit more.  Drifting up and off to sleep before long.  My eyes are beginning to hurt to keep open.  I love it when I do that.  Good evening and goodnight.

Taking a while.

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Eleven, so far.  Boxes.  I was going to bring the all down, then take them out, but I ran out of room and energy.  I got eight boxes down the first shot.  Then only three the last shot.  Those last three were all crazy heavy, busted my nut.  So, I decided no more stares.  But, got those boxes out to the dumpster.  I just couldn't rely on my legs, on those stairs, after the two runs and the three heavies in a row.   Done, with bringing boxes down?  I'll see, in an hour, or three, if my legs have become less elastic.

I did, then, do late chores.  The rabbits in the hutch, and only one near, needed more water.  So I gave those more water.  All their food is good, too.  So... but checking on them was good.  Ah, the reason I didn't change out water, moreso, was that they were not frozen!  It's 34 out there again.  Damned near summer.  *grins*  

Oh, when I write *grins*, it's... because I just grinned.  Or other such.  Yes, indeed.  I do grin, laugh too, out loud?  Yes, sure, but I'll stick to just writing *laughs*, *grins*, *sighs* or even *le sighe* for a bit of probable humor of some sort in there.  I don't care if others like it or not.  It's a big web, and I like being small.  Go.  Away.  If it bothers you.

Not as much or fast as I had hoped.  But it is beginning.  And, there is only so much of it?  I... I think so.  I sure hope so.  Oh, I was going to check to see if the mattress would fit.  If it does, I want it in before anything else, I do believe.  Just in case.  I'll do what I can for filling it, as is, with boxes old, re-reviewed, and created.  But, if there is still a bit of room, I may call in help, to see about getting it in.  Perhaps sawzall the box spring, too, if there is even more room.  Doesn't all have to fit this time, there is next time.  Chop, chop!

Coffee, fatted.  Gaming.  Then I'll see what I can do in a few hours.  Oh, and I'll try to call my mother.  See what the ol' gal is up to.  Probably went to church.  If she could.  Not always is it possible.  Hard to imagine she is in her eighties.  She just... doesn't act or seem like it.  Mostly.  For having had hips and knees replaced, toes with surgery, two... or three... major back surgeries, being overweight, a smoker for all of her life, and a heavy drinker for years, she's... pretty spry.  At our ages, in our conditions, have to enjoy every minute, especially the good, quiet, happy ones.

I'll... get to gaming, so as to maybe get back to work yet tonight.  I'd really like to get all of the boxes down and out, I just... don't know.  Later.

Alrighty?

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I pulled too much hamburger out!  I thought one pack was ground pork.  But, that is fine.  I fried it all up, before it went bad.  Spicing it well, which not only makes it taste better, but also helps it keep longer.  Sam got some raw and some cooked.  She... wants what papa eats, and she knows what I eat.  Even if she doesn't really like it, she wants her share... and usually gets it... little snipe!

Anyway, I had some of that myself.  It is about time to get going.  Work.  How many boxes can Doom really get from upstairs to downstairs, then out to the dumpster, in one event?  In one day?  I'll find out shortly.  Yes, I... am afraid.  Then again, it might be a good day.  The wind might be just so in my sails.  And I might get some, many, maybe all of them?  Who knows.  

How many boxes are there, how much do they weigh?  Well, I would guess anywhere from fifteen to forty.  Some are very light, some are books and/or paper.  Paper, in folders, can weigh quite a lot.  Take ten skeins (is it?) of paper, or thirty, and you have a pretty penny of weight.

Anyway... that is the goal.  Oh, and I'll take one of the larger trash cans for upstairs.  Bagged and ready.  Hmm... I might take a few more bags, just put them under the main bag.  I doubt if I will need them, but better to have them then to have to fetch... which generally means I finish later.  The stairs, these days, tire me.  Even going down!  Ugh.  Fucking aging!  Well, fucking bad heart too!  Gah.

Wish me luck.  If you want, take bets on the number of boxes, or guesses.  Whoever is closest to the exact number of boxes wins the internet!  And an invisible box of chocolates.  Plus everything in my account.  Except... it stays in my account, and I spend it for you, on me, as I see fit.  Stupid games, stupid prizes?  :)

I best get to it.  I'm... afraid to start.  Afraid I'll stroke out, have a heart attack, fail miserably, or even get them all.  Sometimes I do either of those latter, without any good reason or to any right rhyme.  Yea, I'll start in.  Good afternoon and day.

Not exactly the fastest.

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But it has started.  I adjusted the dumpster, for easier disposal of things.  I had merely moved it the other day, and it wasn't in a position to receive easily.  Now it is moved, open, and ready.

Trash and recycling are out.  A first shot across the bow.  Chores were done first.  And, before that, I gave the girls a can of tuna.  They did eat it.  Hunger is the mother of all spice.  I am about to get them the last can of food, actual cat food.  Anyway.  Beside getting trash and recycling out, I also lined the bins with bags.  That will make it easier.  I will probably take one of the bigger ones upstairs, for as I worth through that, anything that needs to go will just go.

Breakfast, myself, already.  Just chia.  I should fry some eggs, today, too.  And bacon!  Oh, I do love that combination.  I think I'll have five eggs.  I'd also like to get some boiled, the older ones.  They actually peel more easily if not absolutely fresh.  Will go good with salads.  And, I think from now on, I will try to cook about a pound of meat a day, give or take a few ounces.  Then, use about eight to ten ounces that day, the rest to be cut and put into salads.  That means only cooking every other day... unless I cook the weeks' meat all on a Sunday or Monday, on the grill.  It usually reheats well, and heated and cut, goes very well with the salads I like, and various dressings.

It has taken a long time to surrender to certain foods.  I have resisted salads most of my life.  When I was in the Navy, I learned to eat rightly... a form of keto even then.  But, after leaving, and being in such poor shape, I just... ate.  And, created peculiar notions of food.  Now?  I'm still off, I am sure.  But I do my best.  I even still have junk food from time to time.  Just... not a daily, or even weekly, thing.  

Paleo and keto are reasonable notions, but I... don't believe people on those diets would choose those diets.  I don't think humans should be ON diets.  The fall of man, I suppose it led to this.  And, while I think they are probably the best diet forms, for most people, no one has ever been able to escape sugar... be it honey, molasses, maple syrup, or some regular sugar (yes, organic, cane, brown is... just sugar... just more expensive sugar!).  Ha.  So, I do my best.  

Then again, at this point, my body is... what it is, where it is, how it is.  I probably can't improve it.  Even swimming wasn't doing much.  Though, I wasn't eating enough protein, so might actually have been exacerbating the problems?  I will see, in a bit of time, if protein will help as I begin working.  Especially as summer rolls around.  As well, if I ever do end up with an air conditioner in here, whole house anyway, and can be cool during the heat... meaning I can go out and get hot, having a place to cool... perhaps I can do more.

Oh, the list...  A new electrical box, fuse box, perhaps with 440 service?  I'd really like that.  A new furnace and central air, probably new ducts.  I'd like to get a humidifier system.  And, have a way to shut the vents both in particular rooms, at near the furnace.  Then, the bathroom sorted out.  I have the toilet, sinks, fixtures, but need to build or buy a vanity of some sort, as well as a mirrored, lighted, medicine cabinet.  Well, and flooring.  Plus, some work putting in a floor drain in there.  Then a dishwasher, bought and set up.  After that, I will probably put anything remaining into savings, add to it, and use it for anything else which comes up.  Just dreaming.  I have doubts this deal will go through.  Still...  We will see.

I doubt everything positive.

A bit of a break, after those spits of work.  Then back to it.  I think I'll see about bringing boxes down, next.  Clearing that corner.  Then, either going through some of the other boxes up there, or beginning in on sorting clothes.  Some to be tossed, some to be given away?  I don't know.  I will look, see.  After I get the boxes upstairs sorted, I'll start in on the spare and master bedroom... boxes and else in there.  I also wonder if the mattress will fit in the dumpster?  It just might.  The boxspring won't, without cutting it.  Then again... I... have the tools.  A sawzall is a wonderful thing.  The chainsaw would be more fun, but... a bit more dangerous if it bit the wrong material.

Oh, yes.  Perhaps just dreaming.  But... I think I will.  I have started, I have what I need to do it.  Other than energy, strength, and such.  But, maybe, with protein and fats in good portions, and few carbs, I can... get back into some kind of shape.  Ugh.  I'll keep dreaming until... unless... they tell me there is no purpose to it.  Then I'll slump for a bit, until I can attempt another dream.  Amen.

UP!

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I made it to somewhere between 14:30 and 15:30?  Pushing through.  Tough, harsh, but... I have things to do, and they require daytime.  So, push!  Then, I woke at around 23:00, but forced myself to sleep longer.  I made to between 01:00 and 01:15.  Moments, maybe, but precious ones.

When I woke I dresses more warmly.  Two socks, long johns, a long sleeve and short sleeve t-shirt, then a jacket.  Both caps I have up there, of the warm sort, need washing.  I'll look for one down here.  I think I washed all of them last time I did laundry.  Still down here.

I did that so that I can work, even upstairs.  And, so, I started right away.  I picked up trash and collected laundry.  More work than it sounds, if not as bad as THAT sounds.  Just a start.  Now I will get breakfast going, maybe getting trash out.  And setting up the rest of the trash bins, and recycling bin.  I rebagged one of them, after last week, but it is full.  So, out it will go, as I get the rest ready.

Picking up water bottles, too.  Oh, and the bins in this, the computer, room.  Ugh.

I will be gaming in portions, and working on the other portions.  If I can even get four to six hours of actual work time a day, for four or five days a week?  It won't be perfect, but with the dumpster out there, I will be clearing room quickly.  There will be room to sort.  Though, to get the boxes from upstairs down and out will be a primary target.  That, dishes, laundry, and into the kitchen even more.

Small areas were cleared with what was taken out.  More areas will be cleared, just with what is ready to go.  And, sorting will be going on when I have become too tired to carry boxes.  So, more to go.  I am not sure if I can fill the dumpster for Wednesday pickup.  But... I will give it my best shot.  And, possibly, be getting in shape to have more boxes ready.  I just have to get on this.

I have got to get going.  I can stall the valuation just a bit.  But I have to get to it.  I am going to set that up for about three weeks from now.  Then I have a deadline, to really get cleared and clean.  Pretending I am a renter, and their will be a housing inspection then?  Something like that.  The loan is vital.  I have sunk some money into it already.  So... I best get to it.

I sure hope I can get to things.  So tired, not feeling the best, but... so be it.  And, the worst time of winter.  This and high summer are so brutal.  If I do well, and all goes good, I may take a day or two a bit more south.  Just a few days off, in a warmer area.  I don't need beaches and bikinis, though... shorter skirts might be a... sight for sore eyes.  We'll see.  If I am a good boy, I may do me a small treat.  Nothing fancy, just... a little warmer.

Now, to get breakfast going.  Then game a bit to catch my breath.  I'll set an alarm for two hours, then get to it.  I want to hit getting trash out, bins reset with bags, and boxes out as my priority.  Because I want to do those least.  Always lead with the worst, makes the rest easier.  I could, possibly, clear one corner of my upstairs.  Maybe more if, as I look through boxes I wasn't sure about I find more to go.  I could end up clearing a twelve by five by four stack of boxes out.  Though some of those really are keepers... for now.

Yea, I am getting to it.  Starting today.  If I have to take a break, or a day off, I will.  Two?  I may have to.  But, I'll be trying to stay with it as much as I can, for as long as I can.  Best get grocery shopping finished.  I am running low on meats.  And, really, I need between twelve and sixteen ounces a day, if I am going to work.  With the protein powders, that should be enough.  And with the chia breakfasts, omega 3's and 6's are balanced, or much more so.  Incredible, that an ounce of chia seed provides 3.5 times the needed omega three.  And no fish needed.  I'd love salmon, if my neighbors wife could teach me how to cook it...  But it is more expensive than steak.

Anyway... on to the day.  Warmly.  I'll get the rabbits first thing, and try to get them, again, before I go to sleep.  Good night, day, and morning.