Seriously good meal.

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I have sure missed eating better.  Just... a few veggies, meat done well and good, enough fill, maybe slightly overfill.  It also helps with what else might be ailing one, whether it be heart, head, body, or spirit.  Just right, and in good condition this time.  The chicken wasn't odd, old, or bad.

I keep meaning to get to more, but I... am tired.  I checked on the rabbits, to at least get up off my butt.  Tapping their food trays, to make sure the food they have is available.  And they are eating well.  Still, will only feed them once a day.  Waterers are still flowing.  It is 44 out there.  Very nice day.

As well, I called my brother... offering condolences.  His mother in law has died, just this last Wednesday, in the o'dark just after midnight.  And his father in law is in very rough condition.  He has been shepherding them to clinics and hospitals and wherever else for the last seven months.  They became an even more integral part of his immediate family.

Guilt that he couldn't do more.  I do understand.  So many various and conflicting emotions.  I assured him, because I am sure, he did everything he could do.  And, probably, a little extra... at cost to his own comfort and will.  I told them I will keep them in my prayers, and send warm thoughts and wishes their way.

I didn't tell him about my loss.  He has enough of his head.  It might not even have meant anything to him.  But, really, it would have been worse had it added to his woes.  No, condolences, prayers, and well-wishing.  Especially with his father in law also in tough condition, perhaps even in the hospital at this point?  Yes, yes I think so.

His time is his, more than it has been in a long time.  And, yet, he would have it otherwise.  I know that.  I know the guilt of begrudging care, from time to time.  The difficulty surrendering some things.  It's a tight game.  Still, it is good to have others join in, pray for, and speak with the bereaved.  For all our sakes.

I still can't quite get to things.  Might not yet today.  But the hope is still there, if hope is fading.  Just too tired, weary from crying, and sadness.  Still, trying to attend Sassy, and enjoy what is becoming our new relationship.  Trying to break the grip of sorrow.  Sam would not have wanted me to feel so low.  She much preferred me active and pleasant.  We had many good years just so.  And enjoyed each other right to the end.  So... not to move on, but just to keep going?  I think so.

Later.