.
.
I feared the medicine would put me down. To prevent it, I had thought to be a bit proactive and to attempt to be more active. It worked, mostly. I am exhausted, I have had to fight to simply wake up several days, or at least wake up early enough to get out of the house. There were some goals which were not met, though I was able to reschedule and fill in for missed activities. It just so happens that I needed to do some business, and need to do a bit more still, which helped. All in all, it has been a long hard week, as hard goes for me anyway.
I have not quite finished getting all of the paperwork for the home loan pre-approval. I was able to have some things faxed, sign the paperwork, get several items copied, and in relatively short order. I think all I need now is a copy of my DD214 (military discharge papers). I am almost certain I have my own copyable version, if it is lost in 70 boxes of stuff. Monday will be the day to find out about that and maybe get myself another copy, a personal copy. They have been patient with me, as usual. I am sure they would love to ring my neck, if they never say it. Working with the disabled must be a real challenge, or they really are mellow people who simply like to help and are not in a crazy hurry. It will be done rather soon.
While I was out, I called one of my friends. He wanted to go out as well, so I had a sidekick this week. Some things, naturally, he enjoys anyway. Shooting, driving around a bit, and eating out. The rest may not be fun though even a boring office visit offers something different than the walls of his apartment. Oh, and as a treat, I talked him into lobster yesterday. We split the cost, bought 4 lobster tails, some shrimp, potatoes, and a few other items (I only had him split the cost of the lobster, though he tried to offer half of all). The mid-sized shrimp was tasteless, but that lobster tail was deliciously sweet, even without butter (though I clarified a bit of it). They were not huge, but two tails each did the job well. I might do that again, soon. Though I would like to have a salad, 3 tails, and another baked potato.
I made it up and to the V.A. for a followup appointment this morning, if I barely made it up in time. I had to fight for over an hour to come to consciousness. Dreams, and falling asleep, and struggling with an alarm made for a harsh morning. I arrived just in time. All of my vitals are retched. The good news is that my blood pressure has dropped to 153/98 or something. My medic had suggested if I lowered it to 150/100 she would start the Ritalin. It was not her I saw today though, so I have to wait to know if we will start that again. I did note that I had lost 50 pounds since I moved here, though with a blood sugar running at 300, pulse over 100, among other problems, the woman I spoke with was not interested. Oh well, we will see.
I am struggling to keep to days. Waking up, at any time, has become difficult. I have not had severe flu-like symptoms (or am sleeping through them) and I have been pushing to be more active this time. I think it is working, though I always feel the need to sleep now and again. I cannot be sure if I can push through much longer though. Soda is losing it's efficacy as the pills begin to do their job. I will just keep pushing on. Though I hope the next shipment of medication offers some relief. Bother. No one ever said it would be easy, but it was not supposed to be this difficult either. It just is not supposed to be this difficult.
Life is still good.
Friday, February 12, 2010
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
A few things to do.
.
.
I think my health has improved since starting the medicine. Honestly, I think something was rather close to shutting down. I have some relief and that relief has allowed me to begin doing other things. I should have most of the paperwork ready to be sent and then sent tomorrow for a pre-approval for a home loan. It has taken a bit longer than it could have and should have, but not so much longer as to be a problem. As well, I finally called an aunt, my favorite aunt, tonight. I tried to call her a few days ago on her birthday. It seems she was away dealing with her own medical problems. She is dealing with breast cancer, though it seems she is doing rather well. At least in regards to the cancer. However, she has side effects worrying her at this point. She is a beautiful woman, inside and out. And, it seems, a strong woman. She did not quit working except for a short bit around the time of her surgery.
I have avoided much of my family. Most simply do not understand why I do not work. Or worse, they like the doctors, pull diagnosis out of thin air. Doctors want something that fits a profile and responds to this, that, or the other treatment. They despise mystery illnesses, and by proxy, those who have them. Worse yet, if the symptoms are not clearly visible. A mystery heart problem which causes arrhythmia, bleeding with no known cause, and such, let the patient off the hook. But if it is phantom pain, odd conditions regarding sleep or exhaustion, and the patient IS the problem. So with doctors, so with laymen. She, perhaps, is milder this way. I would not say I believe she is on my side, she is however a bit more like an agnostic than a firm believer or denier. She simply does not know, which is fine because that makes at least two of us.
It was very good to talk to her. I can tell she is tired. But then she is not a youngling anymore, she works 8 to 10 hour days, 5 days a week, she is still dealing with cancer and the after affects of surgery and medicines, and they are getting crazy snow and cold to add to everything else in her life. Still, she sounded pretty good for the condition she was in. I could "hear" her smile from time to time, and she was rather involved in the conversation. She wanted to know about Utah, how I was doing, and such. So, I let her know. She seemed pleased. I let her know I loved her and was praying for her and all before I hung up. I might have to add her to my occasional call list.
Something I forgot to tell her and write here, I have lost 50 pounds now, officially. I am a petite 255 pounds, down from 303, and down from my ultimate weight of 350 a decade or so ago. Thing is, I am doing absolutely nothing differently. I eat what I eat, when I want, and as much as I like. My hunger is still outrageous, though for some reason my capacity to bodily manage to consume the same volume simply no longer exists. Age? Climate and altitude? Health issues? Dunno, do not care either. If I could add working out to this, though, I think I would lose a ton fast(er). Think about it, losing 50 pounds in about 6 months without doing a thing. Hmm, calls for a beer or three.
Cheers, and good night, good afternoon, or good morning, however this catches you. Yeah, beer, tomato juice, and salt. Perhaps three, maybe four? Not good for sleep, diabetes, or high blood pressure, but... good for me. *cat's grin*
.
I think my health has improved since starting the medicine. Honestly, I think something was rather close to shutting down. I have some relief and that relief has allowed me to begin doing other things. I should have most of the paperwork ready to be sent and then sent tomorrow for a pre-approval for a home loan. It has taken a bit longer than it could have and should have, but not so much longer as to be a problem. As well, I finally called an aunt, my favorite aunt, tonight. I tried to call her a few days ago on her birthday. It seems she was away dealing with her own medical problems. She is dealing with breast cancer, though it seems she is doing rather well. At least in regards to the cancer. However, she has side effects worrying her at this point. She is a beautiful woman, inside and out. And, it seems, a strong woman. She did not quit working except for a short bit around the time of her surgery.
I have avoided much of my family. Most simply do not understand why I do not work. Or worse, they like the doctors, pull diagnosis out of thin air. Doctors want something that fits a profile and responds to this, that, or the other treatment. They despise mystery illnesses, and by proxy, those who have them. Worse yet, if the symptoms are not clearly visible. A mystery heart problem which causes arrhythmia, bleeding with no known cause, and such, let the patient off the hook. But if it is phantom pain, odd conditions regarding sleep or exhaustion, and the patient IS the problem. So with doctors, so with laymen. She, perhaps, is milder this way. I would not say I believe she is on my side, she is however a bit more like an agnostic than a firm believer or denier. She simply does not know, which is fine because that makes at least two of us.
It was very good to talk to her. I can tell she is tired. But then she is not a youngling anymore, she works 8 to 10 hour days, 5 days a week, she is still dealing with cancer and the after affects of surgery and medicines, and they are getting crazy snow and cold to add to everything else in her life. Still, she sounded pretty good for the condition she was in. I could "hear" her smile from time to time, and she was rather involved in the conversation. She wanted to know about Utah, how I was doing, and such. So, I let her know. She seemed pleased. I let her know I loved her and was praying for her and all before I hung up. I might have to add her to my occasional call list.
Something I forgot to tell her and write here, I have lost 50 pounds now, officially. I am a petite 255 pounds, down from 303, and down from my ultimate weight of 350 a decade or so ago. Thing is, I am doing absolutely nothing differently. I eat what I eat, when I want, and as much as I like. My hunger is still outrageous, though for some reason my capacity to bodily manage to consume the same volume simply no longer exists. Age? Climate and altitude? Health issues? Dunno, do not care either. If I could add working out to this, though, I think I would lose a ton fast(er). Think about it, losing 50 pounds in about 6 months without doing a thing. Hmm, calls for a beer or three.
Cheers, and good night, good afternoon, or good morning, however this catches you. Yeah, beer, tomato juice, and salt. Perhaps three, maybe four? Not good for sleep, diabetes, or high blood pressure, but... good for me. *cat's grin*
Monday, February 8, 2010
What I found out.
.
.
Nope, I was correct. My ear hurts because of my blood pressure and high pulse rate. The pulse rate could be from a number of things, as yet undetermined. Of course, the day I went in, my pulse was well below 100, 93 or something I think. They wanted to take some tests. Several vials of blood were drawn, a urinalysis sample was supplied, pictures of my eyes were taken and sent to a doctor, and a general going over was had. Oh, and I had four shots due. They can only offer two at a time. They listed me as needing swine flu, flu, pneumonia, and tetanus vaccines and shots. I asked if they had a priority list, but the nurse did not know for sure. I chose flu and swine flu vaccines.
After speaking with my caretaker, I discussed why I had quit, what I was doing currently (the soda) and why, some of my history (including medical), and why I was a little peeved. I, again, suggested that exhaustion, all by itself, is my most severe condition. Without fixing that, nothing else will work. When someone is too tired to do what he likes, he certainly is not going to be able to do what he does not like. And if a guy cannot stay awake more than a few hours at a time, sleeping from 4 hours to 3 days at a time, medicinal regimens are pretty useless even if he wanted to comply.
I really did not want to go back on medication. She, somehow, convinced me otherwise. So, same deal. If I lower my b.p, not quite as low as she had initially suggested, she will put me back on Ritalin. I counter-proposed that as soon as that happens, I will quit the soda. I did give her both barrels about the medicine not showing up for a month and a half too. I told her I simply cannot work that way. If I am going to be on something that busts me up going on or off it, it has to be there. We will see. For now I am back on board.
I spoke to several of the people there, including the woman who took my eye pictures. I suggested I will not be going back, other than for yearly eye exams. I felt, and often feel, like a guinea pig when I go in for anything other than standard. I do not fit the profiles, so they spend a lot of time and energy trying to find out why. They really do not know why I am not dead yet, just from the extreme nature of my b.p. or my diabetes, the combination is extremely severe. Or, so they say. I really am not sure how much of what they say is true and how much is job security hype. I did keep my more paranoid comments to myself. Then again, those are not so much things I believe absolutely as things I think and wonder about, or even toy with beyond the confines of my mind, or even just write in order to put them out of my mind. Just because I write it here does not mean I am attesting to something, necessarily.
I have been on the meds since Friday. I started taking them first thing in the morning but remembered quickly from last time that taking them in the early evening is really the way to go. This way I sleep through most of the symptoms, including some of the added weariness. Not all of it, though. My days are getting shorter as I find myself needing more sleep. I will try to adjust by taking the medicines at just the right time to try and spare my daylight schedule as much as possible. The bother of all this crap, but... we will see.
Have a great one.
.
Nope, I was correct. My ear hurts because of my blood pressure and high pulse rate. The pulse rate could be from a number of things, as yet undetermined. Of course, the day I went in, my pulse was well below 100, 93 or something I think. They wanted to take some tests. Several vials of blood were drawn, a urinalysis sample was supplied, pictures of my eyes were taken and sent to a doctor, and a general going over was had. Oh, and I had four shots due. They can only offer two at a time. They listed me as needing swine flu, flu, pneumonia, and tetanus vaccines and shots. I asked if they had a priority list, but the nurse did not know for sure. I chose flu and swine flu vaccines.
After speaking with my caretaker, I discussed why I had quit, what I was doing currently (the soda) and why, some of my history (including medical), and why I was a little peeved. I, again, suggested that exhaustion, all by itself, is my most severe condition. Without fixing that, nothing else will work. When someone is too tired to do what he likes, he certainly is not going to be able to do what he does not like. And if a guy cannot stay awake more than a few hours at a time, sleeping from 4 hours to 3 days at a time, medicinal regimens are pretty useless even if he wanted to comply.
I really did not want to go back on medication. She, somehow, convinced me otherwise. So, same deal. If I lower my b.p, not quite as low as she had initially suggested, she will put me back on Ritalin. I counter-proposed that as soon as that happens, I will quit the soda. I did give her both barrels about the medicine not showing up for a month and a half too. I told her I simply cannot work that way. If I am going to be on something that busts me up going on or off it, it has to be there. We will see. For now I am back on board.
I spoke to several of the people there, including the woman who took my eye pictures. I suggested I will not be going back, other than for yearly eye exams. I felt, and often feel, like a guinea pig when I go in for anything other than standard. I do not fit the profiles, so they spend a lot of time and energy trying to find out why. They really do not know why I am not dead yet, just from the extreme nature of my b.p. or my diabetes, the combination is extremely severe. Or, so they say. I really am not sure how much of what they say is true and how much is job security hype. I did keep my more paranoid comments to myself. Then again, those are not so much things I believe absolutely as things I think and wonder about, or even toy with beyond the confines of my mind, or even just write in order to put them out of my mind. Just because I write it here does not mean I am attesting to something, necessarily.
I have been on the meds since Friday. I started taking them first thing in the morning but remembered quickly from last time that taking them in the early evening is really the way to go. This way I sleep through most of the symptoms, including some of the added weariness. Not all of it, though. My days are getting shorter as I find myself needing more sleep. I will try to adjust by taking the medicines at just the right time to try and spare my daylight schedule as much as possible. The bother of all this crap, but... we will see.
Have a great one.
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