Of wolf and man.

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And woman.

Too warm and sunny?

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The relative cool there for a bit did help.  Comfort isn't always enough.  As mentioned, high summer anywhere but more here and in states like Iowa, for opposite extremes, are difficult for the ill.  Then again, I am not certain there is a place that would lend comfort.  Hawaii, some have suggested.  But averaging and means at around 80°, and humid?  Not for me.  A place that the average and means was around 60°, with low humidity, if such a place existed, is where I would seek, if just comfort was sought.

Otherwise, I prefer right where I am.  Actually I prefer this, as there are real, seriously varied, seasons.  A unchanging environment would begin to seem like death very quickly.  I just have to know, in the hardest part of any season, without a woman to drive me out, I will go to ground.

Not much sleep today.  With the ducks locked in, I may go on back to bed.  Hmm, well, after staying awake long enough to let it cool out there enough to open the cave up.  I am hoping to be awake to water the lawn a bit tonight.  The field is being watered, so no real fuss about most of the back or side yard.  That makes it much easier.

Still too war.  I'll check in an hour, or two.  Later.

Twisting in the wind.

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My schedule, folding, doubling, tripling, halving, changing, slipping, moving, with and without my consent, or even always knowledge.  I have no idea what time I went to bed.  After 10:30, well after, but two or six hours later?  I woke around 21:00, give or take an hour.  Ducks were in, but had to be shut in.  Nothing else so far.

A shower shortly.  Folding laundry and starting another load?  Dishes set?  Medicine reset?  I wonder if I have an extra medset?  Filling it every two weeks is a pain.  I may have monthly sets?  Anyway, things to do if I can get to them.  Oh, and bills to pay, hopefully groceries, soon.

Blood sugar was 178(ish) fasting, but is 116 after a fatted coffee and dose of insulin.  Average is 131 so... not bad even with the slips.  Sometimes I can have a burger and fries, and it'll slide right by.  Sometimes it destroys my numbers for weeks.  I suspect they add sugar as a cheap ingredient when wheat or tomato or whatever increases and they want to pinch a penny.  Probably less than a penny per item.  The engineered life of big business is great for greedy owners, terrible for real people.  Even in something that should be wholesome and simple, like milk.  /microrant

It is down to 71° in the main, 56° outdoors.  I've closed some of the windows and turned off two of the fans.  It feels frigid, downright.  It's been a while since I have been out.  Other than for ducks and watering the grass.  I need to get out early, to finish raking, soon.  Mowing is still a bit off, mostly.  I could do a few areas, but not the seeded areas.  I can't do it this month, but another bag of seed for an area that has been being missed with watering, and to increase slowly improving areas.  Not sure what it got to today, but nary a cloud in the sky, that I saw.

Later.

The shadow of light.

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Not all seen is absolutely correct.  Not all understandings are flawless.

Up.

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It's only 20:30?  I didn't go down until... moments or a few hours after 14:30.  It's as close as recall can be given the stretched day.  Why the stretch?  Ah, getting used to the darkness, plus the cooler temps allow more of a humane living.  That higher heat just eats me.  I think those are the reasons.

It was 81° upstairs, strangely, with just fans.  I suppose windows have to all be opened if I try just fans?  Quite strange, if you ask me.  It is shaping up to be another cool night, I will try the open window trimming.  I had such a chill from shorts and the very cool downstairs that I was cold even at that temp.  ...  Wait, 14:30 plus up to much change?  I just need to switch it over earlier.  It should be warm by then.  It probably reaches that temp even on overcast days.

No major fuss, as mentioned.  I needed it.  I just reset the ac's and went to bed, waking happily, if too warmly, just now.  It was 68° when I woke... feeling too warm.  Nutz.  But funnily in a happy way.  No other work was done.  I have today and more.  I will get it, what of it I can get, as soon as I can.

Blood sugar is working again.  It was 133 fasting as I wake, and 93 as I went to sleep last night... or, this afternoon.  I guess I'm back.  I ought to... no.  I won't bother with bp until I am back on it for a week.  If it's still ugly, a couple weeks.  If any stat is too ugly, wait longer.  If it doesn't kill you or get better, wait even longer.  That is my life.

The lawn is being watered, the back yard, the remaining yellow, nearly bald, spot I replanted.  The yard is looking rather nice.  I will skip mowing one more week, then hit it on high, then medium after a few days.  I think they were absolutely butchering it.  Easier for them.  I'll take my lawn over, now that it is nearing health.  At least it didn't become a weed patch in my sloth, so no complaint.

Headache.  Too little sleep.  I'll sort it out.  As long as the ducks are in before dark, the rest of the day... night... schedule... is negotiable.  A bit to eat, fatted coffee, a shower and shave, maybe folding clothes, starting another load, and a load of dishes, first?  Can hope, dream.  Later.

A darker morning.

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The sun has been up for hours, but not out.  Cloudy, a medium thick overcast.  At around 10:00 it was just above 70° outside.  It's good for the grass and other growing things.  All yellow spots are greatly improving, as much due to water as a reprieve from the brutal sun.  I have some hope, when caught up a bit, that the grass can be maintained well even in heavy sun.  Though I suspect a sunshade fence might end up a necessity.

The ducks are out, their pool being filled.  I emptied and cleaned it last evening.  This breed of ducks doesn't need a pool, pond, or such.  Technically.  But their squeals of joy at the opportunity proves different to my mind.  As children going to play, let out from class, it cannot be denied that need can be lesser to other realities.

It was 70° or less in here.  As I shut all but the front door, it is already 73°.  Given it is high summer and all I am running is one fan with a door open, at 10:30 now?  It works.

Not much more work.  Two loads of laundry through to drying.  I will get a shower and shave, and probably set up dishes.  I did a small bit of work in the kitchen and bedroom as well.  It's a bit too cool for shorts, which slowed things down.  If cool again next time I have clean sweat-type pj's.  All I had was shorts tonight.  I don't like wearing real clothes unless I am going to town, or uptown.

Oh, and blood sugar cracked.  I was being careful with... everything.  It went from, I believe, 189 to 166 to 89 to 84.  Why?  I just don't always get it.  Ate the same things, dosed a lot less as it was below two hundred... ate more, including popcorn.  I'll take it, if I should have a bit more of something to eat.

Good morning, day, and maybe night.  Or later.

As I said...

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From sweet nothings to sharp jabs, she flirts then chastises, kisses and kills, spreads then goes frigid, in new and old video after another.  Pillow talk of every sort.  Dare I follow down her rabbit hole?

A small start.

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As I was finishing watering the front yard, I realized the vegetable type side yard could use water.  It got it.  It needs weeding, that just isn't in the cards.  Watering done, I started laundry.  I have four loads possible.  One is rather small.  The first is big, probably the largest.  After it stops, I will shower and shave, do a cool load, then set dishes to go.  Etc, it is hoped.

The upstairs, with one ac and a fan going, is 73°.  It being 60° outside, and down to 71°/70° main/front with all open and only one fan going, I switched both ac's to fan only.  I want to see what that will do.  I am trying to find efficiency.  The problem with greens is that they cut innovation, experimentation, while legislating a one-size-fits-all system that fails on a local level.

No one might give a shit about energy production, everybody wants to pay the least for energy for the most benefit.  One of the worst things governments can do is interfere with real costs of fuel, save very short term emergency situations.  Pushing costs up, even through taxes, or subsidizing so no pain is felt, will wreck the understanding and management of fuels, energy.  Every time they lean in, or out, they create problems.  The markets have to settle the thing or bad things happen.

Anyway, a start.  With plans for more.  I did eat chia.  Bleh, so tired of that.  In part because I tried a less expensive brand and it bit me in the ass.  Some things can be negotiated, some things not so much.  A fatted coffee now, and another dose of insulin with it.  That first dose didn't drop blood sugar much, if I am titrating with reasonable care.  I'll... get there, again, shortly.

It is a good night.  I sure hope to get a reasonable lot done.  Shopping soon, tomorrow, Friday.  Even burgers, though a beef or pork roast would be good.  Can't afford steaks as even rare treats anymore.  A beef roast is my rare treat.  Thankfully, until China rips our market, pork is still reasonable, mostly.  Chicken is okay, at least hindquarter parts.  Ground beef can be as much as beef roast!  *shrug*

Awake anyway.

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Sleep was good.  It stayed cool enough.  No kicking off of blankets this time.  Blood sugar was 179 at waking, if... I keep losing track of medicine.  I can't always keep up.  If I die, well, we all die eventually.  I do what I can.  So far so good.  I am hungry for meat.  Soon.  Before popcorn it was chia and fatted coffees and teas.  Back to chia and fatted drinks.  It's what I have.

The lawn is really growing and greening.  I still have two yellow spots.  One is being watered tonight.  The main zone, in front, will get two hours, a lesser zone also in front will get an hour.  The back yard spot will get two hours tomorrow.  Then, probably, a day off after that.  Too much water is as bad.  I'm only even watering this much because of seeding.

Hopefully, tonight, I can get back to work.  It is 76° inside, 70° out, or was an half hour ago.  So everything is open.  I'll want it a bit cooler before starting in on work.  While it feels cool enough, if I break a sweat I won't be able to cool back down.  Just a fact.  At 73° a break means something.  I don't have the health to maintain a long sweat and keep working.  Too old, too ill.  But I can hit it, rest and refresh, and come back to it a few times, in the right conditions.

If I can get going, first another shower and shave.  Then dishes in, then a break.  After the break, laundry going and then a start back in the bedroom.  I think I will try to keep my focus on the bedroom until the floor is cleared and the wire box shelving is installed upstairs and down, and the closet upstairs is fitted with pipe for hangers and the standing closet is...  I am not sure whether to use it or where, if so.  As well, I will be juggling spots of laundry, dishes, and cleaning the bathroom in chunks.  Bleh.

I may break the bed down as well.  I won't get rid of it quite yet, until I am sure I can sleep on the floor.  But it will be ready to go in any case.  Besides, if I can't sleep on the floor, I will want a new mattress.  I was brutal on the poor thing.  It was made to handle well more than my weight at even that time, and my height made it easier, but I didn't flip it as often as I should have and time just... isn't kind.

Oh, and during breaks, I would like to be working in the living room, getting back to where I had it fully, then keep going.  I think I am back to trying, doing, more.  Sleep is back in trim and agony has passed.  I will work through the week and start sleeping on the floor again this weekend.  This time with strategy, and some endurance gained from the cot.

Later.

A good night.

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Watering the side yard was quick.  I couldn't get to anything else.  It did cool to the mid 50's°, so I opened the place up.  It got down to 69°, so was worth the effort.  I'm a bit tangled up in the weather.  It may really just be the heat, even as cool as it is for this time of year.  It is still warm, usually.

The ducks are out.  The cats are fed.  I am thinking about something to eat.  I am out of meat in the small freezer, I will check the bigger freezer when I wake.  I know I have stuff in there.  I am not sure what or how old it is.  Technically it will all be edible, if that isn't always quite enough.  Hunger and technicalities only go so far.  Not the best, but I have been living on popcorn.  Fresh popped, with real butter, better than the bagged stuff by far, but...

A shower this morning.  Always a pleasure.  I should do those a lot more often.  The sun, and heat, and sleep irregularity, keep me rather crippled.  Still, often enough.  A bit to eat then on to bed.  Good morning, day, and night.

A very long sleep.

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How strange, the day.  I was awake late enough to let the ducks out.  Woke just in time to lock them in.  They go to roost early, without fuss.  Though, if they happen to be out, all I have to do is slowly approach and the go home.  Naturally fearful of everything, really.  Fed and watered, they are satisfied.  I just need to arrange bins for nesting.

I slept around twelve hours.  In part, I am sure, due to it being overcast again.  As such it was cooler.  It is right at 80°, but on a day which might easily usually be in the 90's, even 100's.  The latter is rarer, but expected several times a summer.  Not this summer, so far.  If in fairness, this summer is only half to two thirds over.

Upstairs was 68°, due to cloud cover, where it is usually 72°... near the window.  The strange thing was that I had kicked off all my blankets.  I found that throughout my sleep.  I didn't wake hot, so I would pull blankets over me again and again, only to wake wanting blankets.  I tried going without, but ending getting chill and having to struggle through heavier sleep and chill shortly... I found it far more prudent to use the natural awakenings to adjust blankets back. Strange days.

And dreams.  I do suspect I visit the sleeping and waking minds of others in my wanderings.  Those I know, some loves.  They have to allow, perhaps invite?  I don't care, it is always a bit psychically wet and icky to be that intimate, especially when certain feelings, notions, curiosities, and such are stirred accidentally, consciously or not.  To think a thought, or have a stirring memory, while along for the ride, can... make for a far more... interesting ride.

Quite overcast.

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Not all that cool.  It only got down to 60° overnight, with no rain.  I didn't bother opening everything up.  There needs to be more of a difference between indoors and out to make the effort worth the time.  I did get all areas watered.  Most of the time using one sprinkler at half blast.  Small areas were hit, mostly.

I have been trying to keep blood sugar down.  To a degree, successfully.  Oh, but I keep missing regular medicine.  Sleep cycle oddities aren't helping.  Which is partially weather related.  Though, being high summer, it almost doesn't matter.  The cool is allowing reasonably better sleep, the ac's are helping, but it is survival mode, not thrive mode.  I won't worry, but if I can get some work done I will.

Well, just keeping up on the watering, food, and insulin is a lot, given my condition and even the cooler temperatures.  I'll try to add medicine back in too.  Oh, I just heard about the fires up north.  Yea, warned, but ongoing.  Other troubles are coming.  Warning won't help, their government(s?) aren't on their own people's side.  Not sure most of our government is on our side either.  Even Marines are working against us.  Later.

Something old, something new, something else?

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Bumped into an old vid.  It made sense, on the surface, then.  It still does.  I haven't the health to delve as I should prefer.  As well, I realize this probable aspect of my nature is not fully lived due to health limits.  Oh, but what else caught my eye was... names dropped juxtaposed to recent posts.  Little are joys, but sure.

So very awfully odd

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Given my inability to deal with heat, my nap was strange beyond recall.

Going to bed, albeit chilled to the bone, I reset the air conditioners. One I turned off, the other I set to automatic.  As it turns, the automatic setting, as it was set, completely ignored the temperature set on the device.  I have no idea what it then goes by.  I only know, when I woke, it was 77° up there.

Now, 77°, for me, is usually pure suffering.  It is only in this last year that, even here and when it is dry, that 70° is tolerable, sometimes cool, sometimes too cool.  So imagine my surprise at having slept comfortably at that temperature, but also in my thick sweats-type pj's, and more with my summer quilt doubled AND one of my thicker wool blankets over that?  All snug as a bug in a rug.

I came downstairs to a 75° main, which seems cold.  Yes, regaining control of blood sugar makes body heat management a breeze.  And, yes, that is and has seemed to always be what the mechanism is.  Though I can't quite handle truly high heat, that I can truly comfortably nap in 77° is miraculous.  More, I don't seem to have lost my affinity for the cold.  Age has been rounding that up, but not health.

Quite a nap.  Honestly it was most of a sleep cycle.  My guess is, as the chill sets back in later tonight, I will crash again for a few to many hours.  At least most of a sleep cycle.  It is 82° outside, so it has dropped from the highest I have seen it, though it may have been higher than 84° at some point.  After starting the first eastern quad to water, I am chilled coming back in.  All good.

Ducks are in, the quads and back area will get one hit, the front western side will get double hit, as that is what both needs it from sun pounding and where grass was planted most heavily.  I may end up with a real lawn.  Then to figure out a shade fence to keep it with less water.  At least spring was gentle and wet enough to spot me.

Cold, at 75°?

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Actually, yes.  At 13:00 it is 84° outside.  Hazy?  It just... humidity from the recent deluge?  Yes, acting with the sun and else the haze is acting as an umbrella.  A clear yet effective one... not perfectly clear, if not as cloud cover.  I am hoping for another cool night.

Being oddly cold, I haven't started in on anything.  I did have boiled eggs from the other day, quite nice.  As well as a dose of insulin and a fatted coffee.  Blood sugar, after dealing with the sabotaged sugar replacement and doing else to specs, is 100.  Dealing with the polluted sugar replacement took care of the high readings quickly.

A nap shortly.  I will water the areas planted recently, though probably the rest of the front lawn later.  If the nap is short, the ducks may receive an artificial rain as I hit the side yard.  I want that grass seed to really pop.  Plus I enjoy watching the quackles play in the water.

Too cool, late July?  I'll take it, but it is strange.  Oh, and there are parts south which are or were at flood warning.  So, quite a dash of sprinkles.  I... don't think that is it, though who knows.  I'll take the cool, and water as we got it.  If, too, I will pray for those who get a bit much.

If you can't nap, but would wish it, I'll be your Huckleberry.  Good afternoon.

Flipped on a dime.

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Sleep cycle.  The cool, rain, dark...  I had no choice.  Sleep was fantastic.  I can't be sure when sleep hit, perhaps after 22:00 but before 23:00?  Almost certainly before midnight.  I opened the cave around 19:30?  It was cooling, or felt like it.  It only read 75°, but that seemed wrong.  It felt much cooler at bedtime.  Though perceived and measured can vary significantly.

Sleep was the sleep dreams of the best sort attempt to replicate.  That ease of body, the lack of pain or hunger, and yet moments of mild awareness just to let the mind rest again.  As perfect of a sleep as I have had in some time.  My only regret was not realizing how cool it would get, so shutting machines off and opening windows.

As I woke and came downstairs, I couldn't believe what the main thermostat read... 66° F!  Feels fantastic.  I just couldn't believe, so I checked every thermometer and the thermostat.  Indeed.  But, how cool had it gotten outdoors?  I looked, as I closed most of the cave down...  50°?!?  I don't know if it got cooler, only that it was that at a wee before 7:00, with sunup around 6:00 to 6:30ish, more on the earlier side.  Wow.

A few boiled eggs and a fatted coffee.  Then?  I don't know.  Still groggy from that crazy change in schedule.  If I can do some work, I will.  Just cleaning the living room to where I had it, a shower and shave, setting up dishes, and cleaning the bathroom?  Actually, that is a good bit of work, but possible?

Another spot or two of dishes and those other things, and I'll be back to the bedroom and kitchen... installing the standing closet and basket shelving... wherever.  All of that might be done this week, if I could figure out to keep cool enough otherwise.  I'd love to get back to it.  Later.