Nudes, of the woman I loved.

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Ah, right.  Not... nudes in... the way you might have thought.  Her... darker, deeper, side.  Things most couldn't, wouldn't, didn't see.  There is nothing like fucking crazy, in all that was just said.  She wondered about me.  But... no.  No, not really.  I am just... patient.  Dull right to... interesting?  She thought so.  If... interesting has been discussed, recently I do believe.  I think she understood.

She is on my mind.  I... didn't fear her, or join her.  I merely... enjoyed her.  She didn't realize how much I realized.  I could see her darkness, the way the people in the Matrix, when outside of it, could see people, places, things, rather than code.  Why?  Because.  She pushed, until she found where I came from.  But... I was from there.  Never swim with a shark, as a land mammal, and think you could win.  Don't fight a bird in the air.  For as... different... as she was?  She knew better than to... do more than just hate at me, at times.  It was worse, as I was finding the holy.  Something about that completely twisted her nitzel.  Anyway... yes... she is on my mind.  In... a good way.  Mostly.

Pink psychosis.  No one believes, until they experience it.  Like a mouse that can turn into a fully grown great white shark, in a moment.  Real.

But, damned if I haven't loved some of them.  I... even hoped one of them would do me in.  Nice thing is, they won't torture.  They... will... just hit the nail on the head with the hammer, and it'll be done.  They fear being hurt.  After the first vid, I realized more what is/was going on in her... their heads actually.  More than one, and... seriously.

Being mostly dead, it would have been okay by me.  I tried, to finish it.  Lord knows.  He knows because He said "No".  Truth is, even as crazy as some of them were?  They did trust me, over their voices.  Probably the one honest guy they had ever known, been with?  Trusted?  Knew I would spank, if she did something bad, like threw something that could hurt me.  Or punched me.  But, wouldn't harm, not truly.

Yes, I have had some... crazy loves.  Loved them, truly, though.  Not just for sex, if that was... superior.  But, liked their company, enjoyed sorting them out.  Sympathy?  Empathy?  Wasn't needed.  It was just their nature.  And, there was a person, under... inside... the crazy... the feminine.  I liked that person.  Got to know that person.  Away from the crazy, and feminine.  If... those two are corelated, correlated, related... such and more.  

This is a post I have been working on for a while.  My version of the Mona Lisa.  She's... in there.  Smiling?  Or... something similar?  I like to think so.

I'm... done.  I can't improve it.  May have ruined it.  Don't know.  But, it's... as good as I can do, now, for now.  I'll... dream well tonight.  Ten to one, at least three of them are going to read this.  And love it, if perhaps think of killing me for writing it.  I... love the thought, anyway.