Realizations.

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I was fighting.  This morning.  To become conscious.  The alarms... I... wore the poor dears out.  Set for eight and ten, I ran through both, six snoozes of ten minutes each.  I simply could not wake and move.

I thought, earlier, I was struggling with consciousness, waking.  Later I understood better, differently.  I was not struggling with sleep, I was struggling with death.  Noon ten, before I could finally get up and out.  I fed Sassy first thing.

Medicines in.  Electrolytes in.  Just one dose, had been using two doses for the first few days in order to get back in shape, which worked, so one now.  Coffee in.  Hoping to get a shower.  Then start on laundry, dishes, the kitchen?  Maybe.

Still... struggling to sit, so no promises, guarantees, or else.  Just... rough outlines of hopes, plans, goals, ideas.

Still cold and dark outside.  Partly sunny, for the first time in a while?  Still, quite beautiful out there.  I live in a magical seeming land.  Lethal, but beautiful.  Reminds me of some of my favorite women.  If a woman can't take your life, she may well take your heart.  I... like that about them, as I like that cats are hunters.  We... it gives us something in common.  *grins*

Well... on with... something or other?  Maybe a bite to eat.

I am finally getting some fluid out.  Though, even so, my right leg is still... a bit thick.  The left leg is almost normal.  I might be able to go with the middle size, for compression socks.  Will see, after a shower and drying time.  I'll weigh too, see if I'm still 240, higher, or have come down a bit.  I was 240 the last time I weighed in, Tuesday?  Monday?  Probably Monday...

I have been voiding between nine and twelve liters a day the last two days.  Yes... it's... been measured.  I... when things go left, I... track things a bit more mindfully.  So, while 240, that's mostly been just water weight.  Mostly?  All?  Something.  Will see.  Could be wrong, though, too.

Hmm?  I don't know.  I suppose it's time to get going, trying to do a few things.  Have a wonderful day.  Take a few minutes to get yourself together?  Heck, say a little prayer.  For me, for you, for the other poor, or rich, sods?  A little bit for all.  Your welcome for the idea.  Won't hurt even a bit, or cost.  And, it has... power.  Amen.  *wink*