Gah!

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I just can't seem to bring myself around.  Medicine has been going well.  I have been eating, mostly.  A little weakly on the feed, but I can't really push it.  I actually have to work at eating, often, lately.  Summer, I suppose, to a degree.  I can't seem to push through much of anything.  It is a brutish time.  Heat?  Yes, part of time.  The time of the year?  Yes, that could be.  But some other things.  I just don't know, exactly, what. 

I am hoping to do some cleaning tonight.  I hit the kitchen a bit yesterday, or prepped it to be hit.  I won't cook grains, I didn't soak them.  I will need another pot to soak beans.  I suppose, if I do well, I could get those soaking tonight.  I can boil eggs for the week though.  Even if I don't eat them all, having food, for need or want, that I know is good, really eases life.  If I find myself hungry, otherwise, I might eat something that isn't so good.  And, having food on hand, ready, means I can push a bit more down... when I think of it, when I can.  And, yes, it helps. 

It has been, in the hotter times, 80's F and up.  Which, around here, isn't the worst it can be by 20 F.  And yet, if you look around the world, this temp is often a local phenomena.  One they call a heatwave.  Perhaps I am just expecting too much?  Or maybe I am, even so, doing something wrong.  I'll... figure this out.  Yeah, probably expecting too much.  And yet, sometimes, I can handle it quite well.  I seem to break down, quickly, though.  Perhaps that is perfectly normal.  Central air, probably next year.  That might truly help.  And compared to all the fans and the window ac (especially considering another), I'm not sure it would be more electricity intense.

Just woke.  Yesterday I was up all day.  Not so much today.  It was cool, through the night, and 83 is the highest I have seen it (though I just woke within the hour(?)).  I could not wake.  I actually set the alarm for 10:00 this morning.  I reset it once, though I am not sure for when.  I shut it off when it rang that last time.  Waking after 17:00 means... since 10:00 was ten hours of sleep...  Yeah, but I couldn't wake today.  Oh, and I did try.  I literally could not get neurons to fire at enough of a rate to think enough to literally remain conscious.  Just enough to grumble and stumble my way to the bathroom a time or three.  Crazy.

Still, as I said, it doesn't matter when.  It only matters that I work when I can, and as I can.  Tonight, even if I just do a little, it's a start.  Added to yesterday, and probably tomorrow, I will... get there.  Maybe.  Later.