Some days.

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No matter my efforts, it just isn't going to happen today.  I am, finally, warm.  I made cream of wheat.  As well as bacon.  Plus another fatted coffee.  Dressing warm only helps if your body can get warm.  Food can help, a bit.  But if the body is not able to shift gears, cold you will be.  And, I was.  

Blood sugar was 91 before the last meal.  Though, with what I ate, it might become slightly elevated.  Will check in another hour or two.  Oh, but part of the reason blood sugar was high this morning was that I forgot to take the slow acting insulin last night.  I set it up, had it in the fridge.  Just forgot to take it later.  I did get it in this morning.

I may have pushed too hard, recently.  Or, at least, for my current condition.  I have some real hope, now that I have found medicine that just might allow me to control blood pressure and with blood sugar also becoming controlled.  Yes, I'll mess up, from time to time.  But, if I have a real possible zeroing point, a way to health... or something similar... at least the right numbers on a few things... I can possibly regain some strength.

Adding protein, enough to actually not atrophy, into my diet will help as well.  Is it working?  To be honest, I think it might be.  Though there might be some negatives, too.  I... will give it more time.  My arms are definitely tightening.  I think there is muscle growth.  Just from getting up off the floor, where I sleep.  It used to just make me tired.  I think, now, it is actually beginning to produce muscle.

Further?  I am beginning to exam methods of working out which don't... require equipment.  And, will be starting out from the 'easy' positions.  Inclined, rather than flat, push-ups.  Half set-ups, from the knees rather than resting full length on the toes.  I am not sure how much I can do, but I would like to... have a bit of an exercise regimen set up before I commit.  As well, I am waiting until after I have gotten one load into the dumpster.  But... for now... I can begin looking at exercises I can do.  Heck, jumping jacks, standard toe grabbing stretching and other stretches, perhaps walking.  I think, with the right foods going in, and other things controlled, I need to start up again.  The hope is to get back to swimming.  But, this time, with some hope of strengthening.  Ugh.

Even if today is a bit of a downer.  I will try to do some things.  And I will pray.  I will do what I can do.  If I can do little to nothing?  I will be glad that I have an opportunity tomorrow, or soon.  And I will.  If I should die?  I will thank Father for that gift.  I can't lose because He has already won.  I'm just a loser, along for the ride.  But I am trying to learn along the way.  Grateful for the opportunity.  Amen.