Prayer is quite the tool.

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As some of you may now, I have been having a difficult period. Little is getting done, there are things I just cannot seem to nail down, and I have a feeling of powerlessness. I have, of course, been praying. And, I have been asking Him to take some of the external worries, to show me how to deal with these things as well such as what is happening politically, in the Church, and inter-personally regarding those worries.

I will not say prayer simply fixes everything and I suddenly have no worries, or that I will not need to work, or that I suddenly feel super. I cannot say I will just jump up and it will all work. What I can say is that my mind has been directed to begin focusing my efforts, that I see that doing one thing at a time will get all of the work done, and that I can do these things with a little work and hope, with faith and charity filling in where other things might be weaker.

And more. God seems to have shown me that what I cannot change is simply that, out of my hands. What he has directed me to in those regards is to what I can do. I can pray, of course. I can communicate with those who hold my political and religious beliefs, or similar enough for our mutual ends, in order to change the landscape of politics in the future and in the Church by being present. I see that my refusal to attend Church is a mistake, though I understand some of that is my health limits, and so a bit of rationalization. Though too, I had sort of given up going, resting on my crutches rather than using them when I really could have along with a bit of anger at the large presence of people in the Church who voted for abortion.

That is not the whole of what has come to me, I do not think I could write it all down. But to say I have come to hope would be an understatement. I am more refreshed than the man who has been walking through the desert for several days who chances upon a clean fresh pool of water. Now comes the hard part. Now comes the place where I am involved. Now I must step up and thankfully begin working toward what I must do. And, too, I must give up any bitterness and anger and merely begin working. My childishness must end, to the point I am able to make that happen.

No, this does not mean I will not look and see the problems being created by an overweening government. I will not be putting my head in the sand. What I will be doing, however, is finding means of voicing my displeasure, voting when available, and becoming a part of a Christian and conservative community and helping those communities grow in strength but without becoming so focused on what is going on that I cannot go on and do what I can do.