Just couldn't sleep.

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It isn't gaming, pulling me in.  I am... finished with the race to get to a certain point... and beyond.  The problem is I just couldn't sleep.  So I gamed, blogged a bit, didn't eat much.  I just had the steak, and several fatted coffees.  Trying to finish off the cream, polish it?  What does polish have to do with finishing, or shining?  :p  No offense, if you are Polish?  Though if you need to be offended, give me time.

I am hungry.  Would have a salad if I had more lettuce or salad mix.  I was thinking today was Thursday.  At about twenty two hundred, I... saw that it was Saturday.  There were things I was supposed to do.  A public rosary, confession, and mass.  I'll... try to get these things done this week.  I can't do the public rosary, that was a once and done.

Don't hate me.  I'm off in ways you can't understand.  My illness is causing body pains and mental fog.  It's... trying to die, something just won't let it.  I'm just along for the ride.  I do my best, my best just isn't all that good.  I'll keep trying.  Failure doesn't mean I get to quit.  It just means I get to be more humble about life.

Strange.  My heart is feeling better, but is beginning to feel like it is falling out of it's "pocket", when I lean over fully.  That's a scary thing.  Imagine if your heart fell out of what was supposed to be holding it, and got stuck "out"... somewhere in your chest.  If that didn't kill you, it would certainly cause distress.  And, yes, I think it could.  Terrifying, really.  So, again, I am back to being very careful with how far over I lean.

On the good side, I can still, easily, tie my shoes.  Even when I was over 400, 415? 430?  450?  Somewhere in there.  Anyway, I could tie my shoes even then.  It's just that bending over would put me out of breath really quickly.  Now that doesn't happen, if my heart my fall out.  Crazy.  Problems to the left of me, health issues to the right, stuck in the middle again, with you.

I did pull another steak out, burger, and a tuna steak.  Since I am hungry, I'd really like to get back to eating mostly meat.  Whenever I get in for the bloodwork, I'll pick up more lettuce/salad mixes and cabbage for the hamburger.  Steaming burger is actually pretty good, but fresher is much better.  That last steamed batch was just on the edge of being bad.  It... was funky.  I wouldn't have fed it to a human, but... I... just don't seem to die.  Might as well push things a bit.  Save a dime.  Just not on real people's risk, just won't do that.

If the tuna steak was thawed, and it wasn't too cold...  No, it's too late.  It probably is thawed.  But it's just too late.  Oh, but it's 33 out there, or so.  May very well get colder, but doesn't always drop much.  Winter is definitely on it's way.  Not in a terrible hurry, but... it's... heading this way.

With the furnace at 72, for now, it's good enough.  Though this front room is getting chilly, partially closed off, and without a vent.  And the upstairs is beginning to chill, which makes waking difficult.  Part of the problem.  May have to... reconsider something, or other.  Clear and clean the spare bedroom, and bring my sleeping system down?  Maybe.  And... move the computer into the living room... closing this front room even more than it already is?  Something.  Maybe.

Waiting to hear if... I need to settle up, and scoot.  Or if the house will be being worked on this winter.  I'll only wait to the end of the month.  Then will just sell.  Ghosting me won't win this.  But, will want some of it up front, ten percent, non-refundable.  And two months to get out.  Yeah.  I've found some of the things I won't leave.  But would like to find a few more things.  Then, sorting some things, tossing some things just because, and such.  We'll see.  Time... tic-toc, tic-toc, tic-toc...  Time waits for no man.

Good night.  Though, I sure wish I had something to eat.  Hmm... maybe I do.  And it would be quick.  Good night for sure.