Harsh.

.

.

Down at nine, up at 15:00, or almost.  A little after the former, a little before the latter, but... close enough for general accounting.

Sore.  Not as bad as yesterday.  Weary, but not blindly, stupidly, tired, exhausted, sleepy, as has been the case for a few days.  Better.  Food helps, I think.  I have been eating.  I'll finland, or is it polish, off the steak today.  Half left.  Burger... may be fried up yet today, as well.  Spiced hot, herbed and spiced elsewise, gently but rightly.  I'll get toward a slightly uppity taco seasoning, spices added individually, blended by me, from whole or leaf or ground in some rare cases.

I do love loving food again.  I really hated bein nauseous whether I ate or not, and for many months.  It is good to enjoy a steak, again.  Not... in the old way.  Mostly.  Fall is bringing something back, but it's not a lust for food, as it had been.  It is merely a need.  And, some pleasure with that need.  It is a good hunger, a healthy hunger?  I am quite enjoying eating, especially when I can keep it right on carnivore, or carnivore with greens.

My wound is doing very good.  But I want to give it a few days, to a week, to let it do it's own thing.  Then I'll shower, dress, and initially use ointment, to rub the scab off.  Using a more open, breathing bandage.  Then, next, put on an airtight, once the scab has been gotten softened and removed.  Then let that go for three days, or so, before cleaning it up, going again at first with a lessor dressing, then gently getting it to air out, and dry back up.  The scab is just that, now.  No longer a blackish mass of clotted dried blood, but a true, nearly paper thin, light covering, to a nearly surface wound.

I don't think debriding works, as a regular part.  All it does is keep the wound deep and going.  Maybe it works on some wounds, in some places, but not all.  Certainly not mine.  Sometimes you have to live and learn, then take over matters if something is wrong with the process, or it isn't moving ahead rightly.  I know about dressings, which to use, and why.  What to look for.  But, not because of what I saw at the clinic.  Sometimes despite it.

It took a while, and practice, and spending money on my own dressings, and seeing what dressing where available.  Then obtaining them, in enough quantity.  Plus else that was needed.  I have spent a small fortune building up my collection, plus obtaining some from them and using things sparingly.  But, I... have a pretty good idea what I am doing, and am doing quite well.

I do wonder if they were just eating me.  Keeping the wound going, on purpose?  Or, did they just... make some mistakes?  I can't say for sure.  But, at this point, I won't be going back.  Funny, that the women there hate me.  They read here.  Not sure how they obtained this, I suppose through VA gossips, who pass things on to the local med.  They are a cartel, after all.  And... not necessarily, .gov or .charity or whatever they try to brand themselves, in it at all for health, healing, or else.  They are in it for the money, and keeping someone walking wounded pays far better than healing him and going on.  No money in that.  Either that, or they are incompetent.  Take your choice.

Though?  Is it better having a company doctor, or .mil doctor, who ignores major health issues, and tries you push you back to your death in the service?  Or doctors who will coddle you, and keep you ill, and suckle off your ill health until you are 115 and just a coiled nothing?  That... seems to be the choice, with medicine.  As long as someone is paying, they'll coddle you.  If no one is, they'll shove you out the door so fast you may not survive the door hitting you in the ass.  I haven't seen many in the middle... that are also competent.

I don't have answers, just questions.  I wonder if it is different, in foreign countries?  Though, too?  I think some people are flagged, in medical, and other "professions" for "special treatment".  No longer Jews, just those of us who see, too much.  Lots of Wormtongues, in far too many professions.  Violence, as they say, got organized, wears a suit and tie, or lab coat, or such.  And they will kill those who don't abide their leftism... if they can.

Believe me or not, but they know you, and hate you.  And... will murder you if you don't go along, and they get the chance.  Or just feed off you until you are nothing but a shell.

My question?  One of them?  Was it the "imperial conditioning" that was broken, or was it that which broke them?  Or, simply greed, incompetence, or else?  I think their indoctrination has become... flawed, at best.  They hate their own, if they pretend not to hate their own.  I'm not theirs, but is that a different reason to hate, or do I look like theirs, so am treated, mistreated, like theirs?  I... don't know.  I just know not to trust.

Things to do.  I was in the process of making tea, when I realized I still have some.  cold, but it works.  Oh, green and white tea makes an acceptable mix.  If, really, I think one at a time is still better.  Even so, I enjoy... testing, checking, exploring.  Especially when hunger is a thing.  Then, looking for a magic bullet, to stifle or manage that, seems to be a thing.  Like... now, lately.

I'll get that steak wrapped and in the oven.  Mostly bone on, so it will take a bit longer.  with meat on both sides of the lower part, near the left and right l's, I'll give the thing 35 minutes.  Oh, but what a delectable delight.

Don't mind me.  Bad news, and truth, are often the same.  But, if it hurts to know what the world is about, don't look.  Forget what they are doing, why they are doing it, and keep letting them butcher, steal from, harm, try to kill, you.  They really do hate you, they have been programmed to hate you.