Long nap.

.
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Too long.  Must have needed the sleep.  I fiddled with the alarm, to no good ends.  And dreamed.  Exactly what, I can't say, but some notions remain.  Music is probably the best way to express these things.

Some doubt.  But they don't understand.  I have... tricked and changed fate, for myself, for others.  Not for very long.  Sometimes only long enough to... bring a better end.  But that was... enough, even if I paid dearly for it.  I have cheated death all of my life, not just my own.  I see the future as well as I see the past, only the present is... confusing to my eyes.  When I set to do things, there is a reason.  I can't always tell you the reason, there is only so much I can do with fate, and death... sharing... some of it... is a step too far.  Trust me.  Really.  I may be the only thing between you and a worse fate, even if you never know it while you still draw breath.  Do trust me.  Even in my darkness, there is only light.  I have no choice at this point.  He came, showed, and proved.  I surrendered, but not without great effort.  He may be King, but that is not enough for some of us.  Money, mouth, all I'm saying.  For my loyalty, He did that.  For which I am, most certainly, eternally grateful

The dreams weren't all "bad".  Perhaps dark, potent, harsh, or real, I should write?  She was there.  In her beautiful and capricious forms.  Her doubts, of me, and herself, enticing as ever.  The pixie that is the soul of a woman cannot be... ignored.  Even by one such as I.  God was easier to try to set aside.  Her flesh is merely... an extra.  A gift with which to pay dues.  But not a minor gift.  Such... creatures, these the Lord has sent to be with us.  So weak, with such strength in that.  They cannot hold these things, they must be given away to be used by even themselves.  Chained to freedom?  Perhaps.  Magic.  And... through them, a glimpse of the family that is heavenly.  The only way.  Yes, she was there, holding my hand in fear and without it, as women are want.  Nothing more, no more was needed.  I am what I am, but as I am now, that is only half of what I should be.  She is waiting.  In all ways.  Not for long.  Soon, to tell her.

Later.