It seems I am wanted.

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Well, not in a bad way.  At least, I don't think it's a bad way.  A funeral, though not the one you might have thought.  Or... not yet.  Who knows, if I make it back, I might be able to see... everybody else, even my uncle who is ill.  It has been a while.  The thing is, it changes all my plans, it confuses some things, it sets some things back financially, and I have to figure out about cats, lawn, and plants.  Ugh.  When did life get so complicated?

I get the feeling that what I wrote about her... was seen there.  I had hoped it wouldn't be.  I didn't know how they would take it.  I know some, there, read from time to time.  I suspect they miss much.  Or, well, have.  In any case, I think they are actively watching now.  It unnerves me a bit.  Strangers can write it all off.  Those who know, some of it... well...  People are literally recognized in some music videos.  If all of you, who know bits, got together, compared notes, you would find... there is more there than you now imagine.  Some of it might be story, or hope, or doubt, fear, etc.  More than you would like to know isn't.  Still, they watch.  It seems to not be a problem.  Probably.

I called my mother back, left a message.  I am not sure... of anything.  I'll need to check how much travel would cost.  And, to have any chance at reasonable future plans, even this, I really have to consider all.  I couldn't come back until next month, without draining the coffers.  But cost of living still... I still have to eat there.  It's complicated.  We will know more soon.  Though it's frustrating to be missing calls.  I am worriedly excited.

I'll go see about travel costs, review my accounts, and eventually speak with the folk, all of them, who might or might not have something to do with anything.  Ugh.  Later.