Better, worse, good, bad, so be it.

.

.

To bed just before 16:00.  Or, I headed up then.  Undressing, setting up things to charge, dressing for bed, tucking in... it all takes a while.  Still, probably to sleep before 16:00, by between five and twenty minutes.  I just... can't remember.  Not sure I looked though, either.  Some nights I forget.

Dreams, of girlfriends I had before... I had girlfriends?  Something like that.  A girl named Lisa, in the third grade.  Michelle, but she was... just a wanted friend, I think both ways.  We never were friends.  Her parents were teachers.  I was different, aggressively against the system even then, and not willing to abide the "chosen ones".  Not a bully myself, but I could, and did, absolutely crush the bully boys, even standing up to their much older brothers and coming out ahead.  Not in combat, but combat is only half of the thing.  As... I taught them.  When your peers are against you, even the ones you typically bully, the gig is up.

I... liked girls, until... it became more.  Then I didn't.  Then, again, later, that too became okay?  I went through those shifts faster and younger than most boys.  And in variations that most boys won't go through.  Still, I... really enjoyed some of them.  Lisa was one of them.  We had no idea... what it was all about.  And, that was good.  I suppose, in heaven, it will be sort of like that again?  Christ left it undeveloped, but left clues as to maybes.

Up at just before four.  Sassy brought me a tiny mouse.  She is such a good girl.  No mess.  At first, though, I thought she had brought half a mouse.  On rare occasions, she will bring me the hind half.  Why she only ever, if even then rarely, eats only the front half of the mouse, I can't know.  But It's fine.  I am well pleased with her hunting trophies.  She pretty much blushes from my praise and attention for the kills.  "Oh, your just staying that!  Stop!"

Checking the phone this morning, I see I received messages.  But... they hadn't gotten through.  My mother, but she can't get through.  Tough titty.  She has me, usually, on automatic decline.  So... I... just gave her that back.  Not even vengeance, anger, or else, simply how it goes.  If she wants to communicate, she can leave a message.  I'll get it.  If it's not important enough, I won't respond.

As well, the VA did get back to me.  Friday.  There is a more local medical facility I can go to.  I knew that going up to the ER they would figure out how not to pay for travel.  They wanted me to go there, so they can get the service fees and charges, etc.  But they weren't going to pay for travel.  They have become sneaky that way.  Now I will figure things out, going forward.  It looks like the VA is... coming to the end of it's ropes.  One can hope.  They weren't there for veterans, they were there only for their union jobs, for each other.  Their janitors get paid more than 100%, and our care.  Dubious care at that.  They hate us.  Now they seem to be absolutely stuffing the place with the worst sort of black you can imagine, ones you'd cross the street to avoid.  Of course, even the county is doing that, and probably the state.  They... all government... hate veterans.

So, Monday, I'll call and see where they are and if/when I can be in.  The leg sure hurts.  Burns, pulses, like a charlie horse at times, it's... a strange thing.  Sometimes it's okay, often it really does hurt.  Aspirin helps a tad, but just that.  Ugh.

Well... on to... the rest of the day.  Blood sugar is a little high, at 133.  While that isn't horrible, it... isn't sub 100s.  Which is my ultimate daily goal.  Not sure what is up, but will... adjust a few things, see if I can sort that back out.  Later.

A song from long ago popped.  Seems to... hold some... value today.