Up for a bit.

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I woke at 23:30.  Mother was just going to bed, crazy bird.  Driven to sort, arrange, clean, and else.  There is some hope I will be more able to help her as weather cools, unless medicine needs a higher dose.  And it may.  Then it might be another several weeks or even months.  Until I adjust to them, medicines are brutal.

If you didn't read, I spent five years, more?  Working with doctors to find medicines I could even tolerate to this level.  Though, if I don't quit them, and idiot doctors don't cancel them, I do fairly well on them... after that massive if mostly temporary bump.  Though a break, for a few days, from time to time, helps.

Laundry, of various sorts, was done.  My wool socks were washed and hung to dry, mom's clothes dried, towels folded.  A fatted coffee, kefir, bitters, cream cheese and cold cuts passed for pretty much a full meal.  Her coffee was set up.  There are three jugs of tea, or nearly.  So I didn't set that up.

Dishes to put away.  Sassy to feed.  Her litter to clear.  Trash to take out.  A fairly busy night after all.  Mother left a note, which was noting a few of those things.  Oh, and suggesting the kefir cottage cheese is getting better.  It tends to do that, as the kefir grains strengthen, mature.

I can't say I love bitters.  I will say, compared to perpetual nausea, they are worth to me to take.  Nausea is, mostly, gone.  Probably a side effect of eating what was required, expedient, there for a goodly bit.  Then pulling back to a high fat carnivore menu here recently.

I am trying to explain the roles of fat, protein, and carbs.  And insulin, the natural and shot version of the stuff.  Mother doesn't understand... yet.  But, eating high carbs and/or taking insulin?  Will cause your body to have elevated insulin, which almost makes losing weight, at least long term, impossible.  Insulin is literally designed, in part, to cause you to store fat.  No amount of modern dieting will beat the hunger, or fat storing, that insulin (especially medicinal) will create in your body, metabolism.  Further?  It is set to make you hungry for more carbs/insulin.

In part, that is why diabetes is also considered the fat man's starvation.  The nutrients from a high carb diet are poor.  Diabetics are starving, no matter (or literally because of how many, if empty) calories they are getting.  But... trying to tell a carb addict this is about as effective as using logic with a heroine addict.

I've... spent years sorting that.  I finally just had to eat using blood sugar, not my preferences or else, as a guide.  But too, the suffering, both physical and mental, may be beyond many.  Eat to live or live to eat, there isn't another option.

To that end, I pulled a thick and thin ribeye out tonight.  And will pull a thick out the day I finish the last of my portion, as she won't eat more steak so soon.  For me, steak is... just food.  Not a treat.

As I said, she is 82.  I am not sure I would try to cause that much suffering.  The pain, for months, of real carnivore, once well into it, is crushing.  Don't let them tell you it's not.  But, for me, now, it is mostly pretty easy.  I just need symptom resolution after a break.  Bitters, higher fat as a percentage and excess to my needs, to entice me back to carnivore.  But... no trouble reacquiring status.

Hmm...  Will be trying to get up at seven, again.  Bleh.  Good night.