What I was feeling yesterday...

.
.
wasn't a bottoming out.  It was the drop.  I think I hit bottom today.  This morning.  As I was waking.  Or not.  Maybe a couple of dreams and being a little tired got to me.  I'll know after a bit of waking time.  I have been taking all medicines, regularly, for I think three days now, but something is off.  I know I was missing pretty badly, as I was fearing a cold turkey drop anyway.  The waterpill and losartin took a long time to arrive.  No, I won't harsh on the V.A., these medicines are going through rolling blackouts.  With nobody paying but barely over, and just, production costs, no one really wants to make a number of these medicines.  People are going to learn, very quickly, that because socialized medicine doesn't pay, no one will do it.  That work certainly won't afford unions.  There is nothing left over to pay workers from retirement to death, let alone the overpayment they get for subpar work and a contracts that create and enforce inefficiency.  Expect nationalization and further declines.  Yeah, I wake happy don't I?

Two of the last three evenings I have had to remove my chastity ring as my fingers were swelling well beyond comfort.  As before, last night I was barely able to remove it in time.  No, no extra salt.  I'm not doing any other thing any differently.  If anything, I am eating less, drinking less... hmm... that last?  I never know.  I have become much tighter in life because I have had to pursue every channel, look at every action, review thoughts and interactions, looking for clue.  First because the idiots told me I was crazy.  After I realized they were charlatans, then I had to start tracking things physical.  The emotional stuff... spiritual angst... that is what it is.  But the physical stuff I can, and do, track.  Of course, the last step, after decades of serious reflection?  Is to pull back and realize the world isn't about me.  Solipsism, is it?  And, some of that has to stay.  Basically I have to be rather connected with my body, to tend problems.  And those other dips... all I can see is pain, and that forces one into a singular universe.  But... I can begin cutting ties where possible.

Interesting dreams last night.  I really tried to hold on to one of them, but...  I still have some of it.  One of the things I noted in it, and believe while awake, is that even Republicans in government don't honestly give a hoot about Benghazi.  Oh, they'll use it, if it gets the yahoos (that's voters to you and me) to join their camp.  They will grandstand, and do the rage boy thing.  But, really?  They don't care.  Or about much else that is going on.  They are busy becoming legacy politicians and commuting the crime of insider trading, a crime they have legalized for themselves, and creating legislation that makes that lucrative.  If not for them, directly, then through their families and friends.  They don't have time for these damned constitutional and sovereign issues!  People die every day, making them money and such, don't you know!  Seriously, we don't have friends there.  It looks like Rand has pretty much sold out, if that wasn't the gig from the start.  And his pop was probably more about splitting the Republican vote than anything serious.  As if any of it mattered.  A spoiler for Obama, he knew he would never win.  Just politics, and money.  A vipers nest.

Today?  Don't know.  I needed a lot of sleep.  I did get to bed a bit early, and slept okay.  But I still woke rather late.  A long sleep.  I need to call about that faucet.  So I'll look for the number shortly.  I may make a trip to town if I can get going in a few hours.  A few domestic needs and hose staples is all, but they are needed. I just need a little time to wake.  Zapped, but... maybe coming around.  Later.