Something is just off.

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Yeah, I have been taking it easy.  Not truly by choice.  If you have a flat tire, ripping on down the road just isn't the thing.  More so when you know something is wrong but can't figure it out.  Pull it over, look things over, check what you can.  I think it is simply exhaustion.  Perhaps it has gotten hot, or hotter, again?  Could be a number of things.  Truth is, I haven't officially be relaxing, I simply can't do much.

Beans are back on.  I tested them before going to sleep.  They were far from done.  Those are seriously hardy beans.  Which, of course, is part of why they were chosen.  I still have to be checking them more frequently, as I want them partially undercooked, so as to hold up to the oven cooking that will be required.  I am hoping to look over those two video recipes and sort things out.  I may even research chicken, rather than duck, confit.  I'm not sure I could do it, if that depends more on what skills and what items, are available.  I simply don't have chicken fat sitting around in tubs, or duck for that matter.  Not sure what might be substitute, but won't use Crisco or such.  Bad.  Oh, and I best thaw out the meats.  I keep forgetting.  The beans can wait a day in the fridge.  It's more the cheese I worry about, if that arrived just yesterday so the timer on that is still relatively fresh.

For reasons I cannot assess, blood sugar is up.  Could too much cheese do that?  Or maybe it has been the constant nibbling.  Yes, I am officially on a food holiday... if as much because it is tasty as because cheese has such a limited, even refrigerated, shelf-life... and can't be frozen... not the gooder cheeses.  Sure, cheddar, if I am questioning pepper jack's ability even.  P.J. loses something, and those unique cheeses, I am absolutely sure, would lose a lot... maybe become crumbly.  Oh... might have been sardines.  While nibbling, I am nibbling more broadly.  Well, maybe not the sardines, but the crackers.  I did that once without a problem.  Twice seems to have caught up with me.  Fasting blood sugar is 213.  I will be a good boy from now on, other than maybe eating the cassoulete my way, though probably even then.  Rich foods are actually... self limiting once you get into that swing.  It's crackers, or bread, or whatever your taste, texture, or food mechanic weakness might be that will get you.  Even veggies.

I still want to work.  But I'm just frozen up a bit.  I am hoping to find a way in to working again, soon.  I am seeking the window.  Even a little bit, a load or three of laundry, or an half hour tearing down boxes... or as long as such might go, perhaps hitting the living room a bit, or just tackling some things here in the computer room.  A slave to disorganization, or possessions, I'd like to break the bonds.  I can if I can stay fit enough to work and focus.  I'll keep at it.  I think I can do it.  Getting so very close.  Later.