.
.
I lowered my blood pressure to 130/83 today. Then dropped it to 90/63. It just took a sacrifice. Namely my hand, or parts of it. We went out shooting today. My friend brought along a .32 acp. He had sold it back when he drank and "needed" the money. He sold it to a friend, of sorts. He was able to buy it back now that he is, for the most part, on the mend. It is a very small pistol.
I had fired one magazine of 6, I think, bullets through the thing. About half way through the second magazine, the slide (it has now been determined) returned and bit well and solidly into my right hand. It sliced right in the crook between thumb and main hand part, anywhere from 1/4 to 1/2 inch deep and about 2 to 3 inches long, a little more if you count the slice as it first entered and then trailed off.
I went into shock, oddly. I became lightheaded, nauseous, and out of sorts. Quite odd, to be honest. I have never had such a bad reaction to so little pain. It still does not hurt. I took a bit of time to collect myself. After about a half an hour or so, I finally was able to drive to the hospital for stitches, four did the trick. When I first arrived, my blood pressure was right at 130/83. Someone came in and cleaned it out. Then there was paperwork. Then someone gave me a tetanus shot. Then I was given some local, and asked to irrigate it, which I did with no problem. I think it was the local that caused me to go back into shock, as irrigating, the cleaning, and the stitching really didn't bother me and there was no pain. That or the tetanus shot? Not sure, but my blood pressure dropped to 90/63.
Anyway, I went and had a hearty meal and feel much better, mostly. Nausea and sweating have come back a time or two since eating, so... I am disappointed in my autonomic responses. Sure, it was traumatic, physically. A gun slide moves very fast, and I think it did shock my system. But I have had much worse and done much better. Oddly I did not curse like a sailor. I used to do that when damaged a bit. I do not know, age, diabetes, high blood pressure, or the medicine I am on have made me quite weak. I might even say fragile. It sucks.
Well, have a good day!
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Friday, April 23, 2010
Thursday, April 22, 2010
This and that, an inspection here and there, and the work goes on.
.
.
The structural engineer visited today. The place seems to be in rather good shape. Old, to be certain, but in better shape than many new houses. He pointed out areas which would cause concern, notably the absence of issues was what I saw. No cracks near doorways or windows, the plum being fit (except for one small area in the back porch, though it looks to have been built out of plum and it has not changed since). Everything was in order, though he was not 100% (what engineer works that way anyway?).
I had the first furnace man in for a quote today. It was more than I had hoped, but so be it. At $5350, I will have no extra money for a washer and dryer. Well, maybe a dryer? I may have to use some of the incentive to buy money toward one or both the washer and dryer. It looks like some work will need to be done beyond simple installation, but nothing unreasonable. Things just cost more than the last quotes I had heard from other situations.
The electrical inspection was supposed to be happening today. I have not heard how that went, though I suspect it went well. If it did, that is another thing off the list. The last thing remaining, untended due to weather, is painting the trim. My broker's company has asked for extra time, and to allow the closing to go forward, should the weather not be cooperative. It would be a stupid thing to hold up closing for a lackluster paint job rather than allowing us to do it right and close on time, in a timely fashion anyway.
Not much else is happening. I seem to be functioning much better, making appointments well, and such. So, perhaps it is not stress, or not all stress, being the reason I collapse as I do. Right now it is more complicated and higher stress than before. I am invested of time and money on a project which could still fail quite easily. I might be the cause of that failure. I still have a lot to do, so, like I said, not or not completely stress related.
I am exhausted, but in a good way. Sleep well, I know I will. Good night.
.
The structural engineer visited today. The place seems to be in rather good shape. Old, to be certain, but in better shape than many new houses. He pointed out areas which would cause concern, notably the absence of issues was what I saw. No cracks near doorways or windows, the plum being fit (except for one small area in the back porch, though it looks to have been built out of plum and it has not changed since). Everything was in order, though he was not 100% (what engineer works that way anyway?).
I had the first furnace man in for a quote today. It was more than I had hoped, but so be it. At $5350, I will have no extra money for a washer and dryer. Well, maybe a dryer? I may have to use some of the incentive to buy money toward one or both the washer and dryer. It looks like some work will need to be done beyond simple installation, but nothing unreasonable. Things just cost more than the last quotes I had heard from other situations.
The electrical inspection was supposed to be happening today. I have not heard how that went, though I suspect it went well. If it did, that is another thing off the list. The last thing remaining, untended due to weather, is painting the trim. My broker's company has asked for extra time, and to allow the closing to go forward, should the weather not be cooperative. It would be a stupid thing to hold up closing for a lackluster paint job rather than allowing us to do it right and close on time, in a timely fashion anyway.
Not much else is happening. I seem to be functioning much better, making appointments well, and such. So, perhaps it is not stress, or not all stress, being the reason I collapse as I do. Right now it is more complicated and higher stress than before. I am invested of time and money on a project which could still fail quite easily. I might be the cause of that failure. I still have a lot to do, so, like I said, not or not completely stress related.
I am exhausted, but in a good way. Sleep well, I know I will. Good night.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
I think, think, the deal has stabalized.
.
.
The current owners and myself both understand the score. He probably will not get a better price, or even a sale, any time soon. Passing up a sale, for him, would be uncomfortably unwise. For me, however, waiting would probably be in my best financial interest, at least for home cost. When one adds in potential interest rate spikes and a loss of the $8,000 tax credit, my lower cost may not actually result in a lower long term cost. With both of us, it is a rose... with thorns.
As for inspections, quotes, and repairs, those are ongoing. Waiting on people to get work done is not fun, but there is nothing any of us can do to get that done quicker. Of course, I was not told about the requirements for an efficiency package for the loan until way late in the game as well. But that is not quite as important. Tomorrow I will be calling several places to find out about this aspect. I called the owner today to discuss other matters, and he has agreed to allow me to give out his phone number to facilitate getting a quote on furnace replacement and central air installation.
I am back to a day schedule. I am also back on my initial doses of medicine. As best as I can be. I seem to be messing up on that a bit. I have been out of the house enough when the 'medicine time' alarm goes off. And without something to remind me, I simply forget.
I think all things will work out. Barring that, they will not and I will be a homeless dead guy. Ha! Whatever. I do not worry. I have, most likely, had worse and far worse than anything that would probably result from most of what could happen. Sure, I have not been crippled by a stroke, but I have been nearly as crippled by... something, and for over a decade, right after I became ill. Still am crippled, if I have come to better terms with it and learned to negotiate with that status a bit. Not bad for a dead guy!
Have a great life. Maybe a grapefruit? What... ever...
.
The current owners and myself both understand the score. He probably will not get a better price, or even a sale, any time soon. Passing up a sale, for him, would be uncomfortably unwise. For me, however, waiting would probably be in my best financial interest, at least for home cost. When one adds in potential interest rate spikes and a loss of the $8,000 tax credit, my lower cost may not actually result in a lower long term cost. With both of us, it is a rose... with thorns.
As for inspections, quotes, and repairs, those are ongoing. Waiting on people to get work done is not fun, but there is nothing any of us can do to get that done quicker. Of course, I was not told about the requirements for an efficiency package for the loan until way late in the game as well. But that is not quite as important. Tomorrow I will be calling several places to find out about this aspect. I called the owner today to discuss other matters, and he has agreed to allow me to give out his phone number to facilitate getting a quote on furnace replacement and central air installation.
I am back to a day schedule. I am also back on my initial doses of medicine. As best as I can be. I seem to be messing up on that a bit. I have been out of the house enough when the 'medicine time' alarm goes off. And without something to remind me, I simply forget.
I think all things will work out. Barring that, they will not and I will be a homeless dead guy. Ha! Whatever. I do not worry. I have, most likely, had worse and far worse than anything that would probably result from most of what could happen. Sure, I have not been crippled by a stroke, but I have been nearly as crippled by... something, and for over a decade, right after I became ill. Still am crippled, if I have come to better terms with it and learned to negotiate with that status a bit. Not bad for a dead guy!
Have a great life. Maybe a grapefruit? What... ever...
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
The thing is still chugging along.
.
.
More money. Of course. The next big expense, for me, is the fees, expenses, and travel to have an engineer inspect the foundation (mostly the earth to structure aspect) of the house. That will be between $300 and $500. I will then have $1200 to $1500 tied up in a house I may not end up being able to buy. How much the owners have put in I can only guess. The thing about their investment is that it will pay for itself, potentially, in an easier future sale (if they comply fully), probably. I still need to get an estimate regarding the cost of installing a new furnace, and adding central air, and projected cost savings... from three sources. I do not think this will be an expense, as I will be getting these as prospective work quotes from installers. However, I will not hold my breath on that.
I have, finally, received contact information so that I might speak with the seller. I have offered my services in order to facilitate the sale. He suggested that there is paint and painting to be done. Trim, it is what he has suggested. So, today is the day though when I start is fairly lax. And a good thing it is lax, as I had almost forgotten about another event today. Remember the neighbor lady? Yeah, well, last Saturday while I had friends over (drinking beer on the patio no less...), she arrived home from work and decided to stop over and talk for a short bit. She thought Tuesday, today, around noon or 13:00 would be a good time for her to do something.
I had a few things in mind, and asked if she had a preference. She said she liked it all, and that it was up to me. So, that is the way of it. I have a few things brewing. At first I thought a local bread and soup place, for lunch, might be the way to go. Then maybe a movie. But the weather has been wonderful and I have not been out in some time. I have revised my itinerary. I think, instead, a small collection of fried chicken (not from KFC, perhaps from one of the local stores), coleslaw, perhaps mashed potatoes and gravy -NO- potato salad, and something to drink would be the trick. There are several parks in town, or up Logan Canyon. Then, if there is time and interest, a movie. Something to get me, and probably her, out of our normal routine. It offers some privacy without being completely secluded. And there is space and time for discussion.
Oh, it all sounds so pat. But that is not what it is about. It was not merely designed, it was considered and the reasons and and such where created a bit during and somewhat after the final social crafting was completed. I will have to see what goes on to know more. I will be honest, this is merely social. I am looking for a female sidekick, not a lover, not a wife, in this woman. Though it is not a bad thing, it is not more. Friends. That is the way of it.
After that, I will need to hurry, dress down a bit, and get over to do some painting. I may grab a scraper on my way out, perhaps some sandpaper too. I am not sure what grit would be best, though I think course would be enough. I suspect someone at the hardware store might be able to offer some guidance as well. If I do work, I like to do it as well as I am able, to arrive prepared, and then to see the task completed. To that end, I will be working diligently until that, and any other tasks offered within my means, are completed.
If this does not go through, the house sale, I will simply have to find a cheap place to stay and stock up on cash. In the long run, it might be better. Prices will fall, so long as the anti-business and anti-capitalist (among other things) sentiments are being spewed from Washington. Even if or when that is ended, I suspect it will take many years for an actual recovery. Though with the way Republicans are now, I am not sure recovery is possible. We may simply be in the dying days of the last Superpower before international socialism brings bane to all. In which case, no plan is good. Nothing will be owned, not be peasants anyway. But, that is still getting the horse before the cart in a few too many ways. Besides, planning must take place regardless of the situation one finds themselves in. Either act or re-act. I prefer to act, re-acting is already crisis management. Acting, in an informed manner, can be a good way of avoiding crisis. Bah!
Have a great day.
.
More money. Of course. The next big expense, for me, is the fees, expenses, and travel to have an engineer inspect the foundation (mostly the earth to structure aspect) of the house. That will be between $300 and $500. I will then have $1200 to $1500 tied up in a house I may not end up being able to buy. How much the owners have put in I can only guess. The thing about their investment is that it will pay for itself, potentially, in an easier future sale (if they comply fully), probably. I still need to get an estimate regarding the cost of installing a new furnace, and adding central air, and projected cost savings... from three sources. I do not think this will be an expense, as I will be getting these as prospective work quotes from installers. However, I will not hold my breath on that.
I have, finally, received contact information so that I might speak with the seller. I have offered my services in order to facilitate the sale. He suggested that there is paint and painting to be done. Trim, it is what he has suggested. So, today is the day though when I start is fairly lax. And a good thing it is lax, as I had almost forgotten about another event today. Remember the neighbor lady? Yeah, well, last Saturday while I had friends over (drinking beer on the patio no less...), she arrived home from work and decided to stop over and talk for a short bit. She thought Tuesday, today, around noon or 13:00 would be a good time for her to do something.
I had a few things in mind, and asked if she had a preference. She said she liked it all, and that it was up to me. So, that is the way of it. I have a few things brewing. At first I thought a local bread and soup place, for lunch, might be the way to go. Then maybe a movie. But the weather has been wonderful and I have not been out in some time. I have revised my itinerary. I think, instead, a small collection of fried chicken (not from KFC, perhaps from one of the local stores), coleslaw, perhaps mashed potatoes and gravy -NO- potato salad, and something to drink would be the trick. There are several parks in town, or up Logan Canyon. Then, if there is time and interest, a movie. Something to get me, and probably her, out of our normal routine. It offers some privacy without being completely secluded. And there is space and time for discussion.
Oh, it all sounds so pat. But that is not what it is about. It was not merely designed, it was considered and the reasons and and such where created a bit during and somewhat after the final social crafting was completed. I will have to see what goes on to know more. I will be honest, this is merely social. I am looking for a female sidekick, not a lover, not a wife, in this woman. Though it is not a bad thing, it is not more. Friends. That is the way of it.
After that, I will need to hurry, dress down a bit, and get over to do some painting. I may grab a scraper on my way out, perhaps some sandpaper too. I am not sure what grit would be best, though I think course would be enough. I suspect someone at the hardware store might be able to offer some guidance as well. If I do work, I like to do it as well as I am able, to arrive prepared, and then to see the task completed. To that end, I will be working diligently until that, and any other tasks offered within my means, are completed.
If this does not go through, the house sale, I will simply have to find a cheap place to stay and stock up on cash. In the long run, it might be better. Prices will fall, so long as the anti-business and anti-capitalist (among other things) sentiments are being spewed from Washington. Even if or when that is ended, I suspect it will take many years for an actual recovery. Though with the way Republicans are now, I am not sure recovery is possible. We may simply be in the dying days of the last Superpower before international socialism brings bane to all. In which case, no plan is good. Nothing will be owned, not be peasants anyway. But, that is still getting the horse before the cart in a few too many ways. Besides, planning must take place regardless of the situation one finds themselves in. Either act or re-act. I prefer to act, re-acting is already crisis management. Acting, in an informed manner, can be a good way of avoiding crisis. Bah!
Have a great day.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Well, we will see.
.
.
After a ton of back and forth, more signatures, dates, and initials, more paperwork, more legwork and phone calls, I [think] the final package has been sent to the lender. The V.A. is more than picky. Which is fine, it is a good resource, I am just out of shape and date for this much of that. The agreement I made with the sellers has been overwritten by the demands of the V.A. Probably in my favor, though that is somewhat questionable.
I understand the V.A. wanting the electrical in prime, functional, and coded order. So do I. But peeling paint? Doh! That was one of my hoped for projects! There were some other things they required, and which I agree with, but some of it might be... cost prohibitive for the seller. They agreed to $500 in necessary repairs. Anything above that goes to the cost of the house. However, because of the new appraisal and the V.A.'s limitations on loans regarding appraised value, that only gives the owners $2000 plus the $500 in which to make the required amends.
It is still all up in the air. We might find out about the paperwork tomorrow. When we will find out about the seller's response to the V.A.'s demands is anyone's guess. What a mess! I know, if I am alive and still willing, I hope to "move up" in 5 or 10 years. I will definitely be more prepared next time. Needed documents now on hand will be going into a lockbox, extra material will be kept on hand, and notes will be added to the papers by which I might guide my future self and any prospective sellers for an advanced sale situation.
Sleep has either been extremely elusive or unavoidable and deep. I know it is stress. I know it will pass.
Tomorrow I see the doctor's assistant. A 9:30 appointment is going to be tough. I need to be up and out by 7:00, 8:00 at the absolute minimum. I am about to go try to sleep so as not to miss my appointment. I bet it is a fasting appointment too, though that was not stated. So, no midnight snack. I do not think tomorrow will be fun at the clinic. What I am going to tell them they are not going to like. But they simply left me no choice. As I said before, I am going back to the original doses of things and not a pill more or less. If they believe that is reason to sever the relationship, that is the way it must be. If nothing else, I finally made it back to splenda diet coke. Much better than daily 6 to 12 packs of regular. Odd though, I did not gain weight on regular soda nor lose it when I switched.
Well, time to rest. I think I will speak with Father before I sleep. I will not ask Him for favor in this, that, or the other things. I will merely ask that He remembers that I love Him and that His will be done and if it be done through me, the better. He has my keys. I may ask Him for strength and guidance in dealing with whatever may happen too. Yeah, He might already know but it does not hurt to actually hear it. Be well and be loved. You are here if you choose it, and perhaps even if you do not. Good night!
.
After a ton of back and forth, more signatures, dates, and initials, more paperwork, more legwork and phone calls, I [think] the final package has been sent to the lender. The V.A. is more than picky. Which is fine, it is a good resource, I am just out of shape and date for this much of that. The agreement I made with the sellers has been overwritten by the demands of the V.A. Probably in my favor, though that is somewhat questionable.
I understand the V.A. wanting the electrical in prime, functional, and coded order. So do I. But peeling paint? Doh! That was one of my hoped for projects! There were some other things they required, and which I agree with, but some of it might be... cost prohibitive for the seller. They agreed to $500 in necessary repairs. Anything above that goes to the cost of the house. However, because of the new appraisal and the V.A.'s limitations on loans regarding appraised value, that only gives the owners $2000 plus the $500 in which to make the required amends.
It is still all up in the air. We might find out about the paperwork tomorrow. When we will find out about the seller's response to the V.A.'s demands is anyone's guess. What a mess! I know, if I am alive and still willing, I hope to "move up" in 5 or 10 years. I will definitely be more prepared next time. Needed documents now on hand will be going into a lockbox, extra material will be kept on hand, and notes will be added to the papers by which I might guide my future self and any prospective sellers for an advanced sale situation.
Sleep has either been extremely elusive or unavoidable and deep. I know it is stress. I know it will pass.
Tomorrow I see the doctor's assistant. A 9:30 appointment is going to be tough. I need to be up and out by 7:00, 8:00 at the absolute minimum. I am about to go try to sleep so as not to miss my appointment. I bet it is a fasting appointment too, though that was not stated. So, no midnight snack. I do not think tomorrow will be fun at the clinic. What I am going to tell them they are not going to like. But they simply left me no choice. As I said before, I am going back to the original doses of things and not a pill more or less. If they believe that is reason to sever the relationship, that is the way it must be. If nothing else, I finally made it back to splenda diet coke. Much better than daily 6 to 12 packs of regular. Odd though, I did not gain weight on regular soda nor lose it when I switched.
Well, time to rest. I think I will speak with Father before I sleep. I will not ask Him for favor in this, that, or the other things. I will merely ask that He remembers that I love Him and that His will be done and if it be done through me, the better. He has my keys. I may ask Him for strength and guidance in dealing with whatever may happen too. Yeah, He might already know but it does not hurt to actually hear it. Be well and be loved. You are here if you choose it, and perhaps even if you do not. Good night!
Friday, April 9, 2010
Today is a big day.
.
.
I need to complete a number of tasks today. All related to the house. Well, house for now, home to be. I need to go through a pile of paperwork, signing, dating, or putting my initials in, where I missed when filling out my initial application. What might reasonably be called slashing the t's and dotting the i's. As well, I need to get information to the lender regarding my DD-214. I believe they will be able to download and print it. I will be receiving a copy in the mail soon, but that is mine and how long that will take to actually arrive is anyone's guess. Since I have the capacity to download it, I believe I will be able to share that information and get this done.
While I was up, still not sleeping days, I was able to cook a large pot of beans and a large chunk of ham. It came out quite nice. I made a large mistake though, soaking way too many beans. I was only able to cook half of them so as to include the ham. I will have to put what is cooked in a container, along with the ham, and then cook the last half of the beans. At least it will give me something to do while I try to stay up to complete the other tasks on my list.
All the work, to date, seems to be taking forever. And yet, and in some other aspect of reality, it seems to be going so very fast. The juxtaposed notion of time and placement is almost nauseating. It is through this nether that all must pass, at some points in their life. No matter how many support us up to these points, in them we are all alone and naked. So be it. I do fear, I do not, however, allow that fear to defeat me. Even weakened and on my knees, I bow to none but God. I have found the power in weakness. It the stability of the frozen. Only being shattered can undo that and I am less fragile in my frozen state than most.
The time is nearing to be a land and home owner. I fear it, I do. Like fatherhood, manhood, civility, and war, the prices, rewards, complications, and such cannot be foreseen. It is a new frontier.
My friend and myself went to Clash of the Titans the other night. Actually, I enjoyed it immensely! Further, there seem to be some decent (if quite fictionalized) combat movies coming out which I might be able to stomach. I have no bother watching the horrors of war and battle and fighting, I only find horror in the indignant manner in which Hollywood often downrates our men, our cause, and our purpose. They spit in our faces, often, like the stinking hippies of the 70's. And, should I ever have the power, I would destroy them all, down to the last camera man. Anyway... Something I came away from watching the movie was that we each lead epic lives. Things we have done, people we have known, contests we have involved ourselves in... From birth to death we have struggled with others, with the world, with ourselves, and even with God! We cannot win, we will die. We each know this. And yet we struggle on in relentless pursuit of some higher calling, order, way.
Just some thoughts...
.
I need to complete a number of tasks today. All related to the house. Well, house for now, home to be. I need to go through a pile of paperwork, signing, dating, or putting my initials in, where I missed when filling out my initial application. What might reasonably be called slashing the t's and dotting the i's. As well, I need to get information to the lender regarding my DD-214. I believe they will be able to download and print it. I will be receiving a copy in the mail soon, but that is mine and how long that will take to actually arrive is anyone's guess. Since I have the capacity to download it, I believe I will be able to share that information and get this done.
While I was up, still not sleeping days, I was able to cook a large pot of beans and a large chunk of ham. It came out quite nice. I made a large mistake though, soaking way too many beans. I was only able to cook half of them so as to include the ham. I will have to put what is cooked in a container, along with the ham, and then cook the last half of the beans. At least it will give me something to do while I try to stay up to complete the other tasks on my list.
All the work, to date, seems to be taking forever. And yet, and in some other aspect of reality, it seems to be going so very fast. The juxtaposed notion of time and placement is almost nauseating. It is through this nether that all must pass, at some points in their life. No matter how many support us up to these points, in them we are all alone and naked. So be it. I do fear, I do not, however, allow that fear to defeat me. Even weakened and on my knees, I bow to none but God. I have found the power in weakness. It the stability of the frozen. Only being shattered can undo that and I am less fragile in my frozen state than most.
The time is nearing to be a land and home owner. I fear it, I do. Like fatherhood, manhood, civility, and war, the prices, rewards, complications, and such cannot be foreseen. It is a new frontier.
My friend and myself went to Clash of the Titans the other night. Actually, I enjoyed it immensely! Further, there seem to be some decent (if quite fictionalized) combat movies coming out which I might be able to stomach. I have no bother watching the horrors of war and battle and fighting, I only find horror in the indignant manner in which Hollywood often downrates our men, our cause, and our purpose. They spit in our faces, often, like the stinking hippies of the 70's. And, should I ever have the power, I would destroy them all, down to the last camera man. Anyway... Something I came away from watching the movie was that we each lead epic lives. Things we have done, people we have known, contests we have involved ourselves in... From birth to death we have struggled with others, with the world, with ourselves, and even with God! We cannot win, we will die. We each know this. And yet we struggle on in relentless pursuit of some higher calling, order, way.
Just some thoughts...
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
It could happen.
.
.
I just finished applying for my DD-214. A couple hours later, java script running on my machine (somehow, with some twisting, turning, and updating as it was required to even order my DD-214), and a hundred and a quarter dollars shy, the task is as done as I can do it. My agent submitted a work order to the owners, which they can refuse in whole or part. There were some minor (and to my mind, major) issues with the electrical. I have offered a proposition to my agent, which he has tried to reject outright but instead has put on hold until we hear back from the current owners. We should be receiving something back from them by 5 pm today. Lord what a job getting into debt is.
Everything is moving forward, in a limping staggering messy fashion. And I am trying to stay on task. Actually, for the condition I am in, for what is going on around me, and for all else, I am doing well. Tucked in here in my great big shell, I am emotionally quite settled. I am more perturbed that the little secret of my failings is being exposed more than that things are problematic because of my failings. I am used to being ill, and merely take note, share that when and if it is needed, and go on my merry way. I do feel a little bad for those trying to help. I do, though, feel that they are on-board, and at least seem sympathetic. I do not second guess things anymore, like the depth or reality of what I sense. It is too much work to doubt more than what I already doubt!
No, it is fine. I am fine. The project will either work or it will not. I will be moving into my own house soon or I will be finding an apartment. That is that. It is in God's hands in any case, and He and the way He has developed do have purpose. Let it be. Let that purpose be and live through it. Trust me, you can survive anything... even death.
Be well my fellow world warriors. The world is out to kill you, and it will, but not today. Probably.
.
I just finished applying for my DD-214. A couple hours later, java script running on my machine (somehow, with some twisting, turning, and updating as it was required to even order my DD-214), and a hundred and a quarter dollars shy, the task is as done as I can do it. My agent submitted a work order to the owners, which they can refuse in whole or part. There were some minor (and to my mind, major) issues with the electrical. I have offered a proposition to my agent, which he has tried to reject outright but instead has put on hold until we hear back from the current owners. We should be receiving something back from them by 5 pm today. Lord what a job getting into debt is.
Everything is moving forward, in a limping staggering messy fashion. And I am trying to stay on task. Actually, for the condition I am in, for what is going on around me, and for all else, I am doing well. Tucked in here in my great big shell, I am emotionally quite settled. I am more perturbed that the little secret of my failings is being exposed more than that things are problematic because of my failings. I am used to being ill, and merely take note, share that when and if it is needed, and go on my merry way. I do feel a little bad for those trying to help. I do, though, feel that they are on-board, and at least seem sympathetic. I do not second guess things anymore, like the depth or reality of what I sense. It is too much work to doubt more than what I already doubt!
No, it is fine. I am fine. The project will either work or it will not. I will be moving into my own house soon or I will be finding an apartment. That is that. It is in God's hands in any case, and He and the way He has developed do have purpose. Let it be. Let that purpose be and live through it. Trust me, you can survive anything... even death.
Be well my fellow world warriors. The world is out to kill you, and it will, but not today. Probably.
Monday, March 29, 2010
Still trying!
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.
Okay, beat upon and spat at, but I keep chugging away. Well, okay, not beat upon. Oh, and, perhaps not spat at either. But, that is not the point!
I am doing what I can. I am still flagging and needing help, and to some degree getting it. At least as far as buying the house goes. I still need to apply for my DD-214. Why I am having such difficulty doing so, I cannot tell. Tomorrow folks, tomorrow. The bid, as I said, has been accepted. The inspection will happen this Wednesday, and I will need to be there to speak with him after he finishes his work. Which I will do. I might take my friend along so we can go shooting afterward. Two birds with one shot, that is how I like it. Lazy or efficient, call me what you will. It is good when it works. Otherwise, not. :p
I did dishes earlier today, put in a load of laundry and will be reloading laundry and unloading the dishwasher. Taking out the trash will be one of my last tasks today. The trash and recycling have been things I have been keeping up on, thankfully. Oh, mopped the bathroom floor again today and gave it a second whack. I will do it one more time, and downstairs, then use a regular cleaner, rinse, and then put on some wax. The mopping finish will be done tomorrow. The rest will be done tonight.
I am still not right, and it is brutal to push through, but I think I can get to it. Fighting from way down is much more difficult than fighting from simple lethargy.
I have plans for my house. First thing, as I have said, is gardening. I will probably keep it simple this year. A few rows for various vegetables, tomatoes, and cucumbers. Depending on how it goes, next year I will expand the garden. My mother should be able to help me stock up on canning needs, make a plan for canning tomatoes, and give gardening advice, along with helping me set up house. I should have her write notes on how to do things, as a reference.
As well, late last week, I asked the neighbor lady out. She was a bit taken aback, but not really. Women are funny that way. She was either surprised I did what she wanted or did not want me to do. *laughing* Yeah, that is how I think the mind of women works. I think... As well, I asked about another woman. I was told she had a boyfriend. I asked if it was serious. I do not think the woman I was discussing this with liked my query. Still, I will know more if I happen to bump into her before long. Bah! If he is not going to marry her, unless she is not looking for that, then she is open game in my book. Not that I would marry either of these women, but there is no reason not to enjoy some female companionship. Who knows though. These women types will sneak up on you!
Well, that is my life in a tidy little snapshot. Tough but tenderizing as I write. Be well!
.
Okay, beat upon and spat at, but I keep chugging away. Well, okay, not beat upon. Oh, and, perhaps not spat at either. But, that is not the point!
I am doing what I can. I am still flagging and needing help, and to some degree getting it. At least as far as buying the house goes. I still need to apply for my DD-214. Why I am having such difficulty doing so, I cannot tell. Tomorrow folks, tomorrow. The bid, as I said, has been accepted. The inspection will happen this Wednesday, and I will need to be there to speak with him after he finishes his work. Which I will do. I might take my friend along so we can go shooting afterward. Two birds with one shot, that is how I like it. Lazy or efficient, call me what you will. It is good when it works. Otherwise, not. :p
I did dishes earlier today, put in a load of laundry and will be reloading laundry and unloading the dishwasher. Taking out the trash will be one of my last tasks today. The trash and recycling have been things I have been keeping up on, thankfully. Oh, mopped the bathroom floor again today and gave it a second whack. I will do it one more time, and downstairs, then use a regular cleaner, rinse, and then put on some wax. The mopping finish will be done tomorrow. The rest will be done tonight.
I am still not right, and it is brutal to push through, but I think I can get to it. Fighting from way down is much more difficult than fighting from simple lethargy.
I have plans for my house. First thing, as I have said, is gardening. I will probably keep it simple this year. A few rows for various vegetables, tomatoes, and cucumbers. Depending on how it goes, next year I will expand the garden. My mother should be able to help me stock up on canning needs, make a plan for canning tomatoes, and give gardening advice, along with helping me set up house. I should have her write notes on how to do things, as a reference.
As well, late last week, I asked the neighbor lady out. She was a bit taken aback, but not really. Women are funny that way. She was either surprised I did what she wanted or did not want me to do. *laughing* Yeah, that is how I think the mind of women works. I think... As well, I asked about another woman. I was told she had a boyfriend. I asked if it was serious. I do not think the woman I was discussing this with liked my query. Still, I will know more if I happen to bump into her before long. Bah! If he is not going to marry her, unless she is not looking for that, then she is open game in my book. Not that I would marry either of these women, but there is no reason not to enjoy some female companionship. Who knows though. These women types will sneak up on you!
Well, that is my life in a tidy little snapshot. Tough but tenderizing as I write. Be well!
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Here is the deal...
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.
I have not been lazy on purpose. They have increased my medicine beyond the point of my being able to function without increasing the ritalin. Now, I carried on as well as I could. I tried this and that to get beyond it, and that only after realizing, again, my life had become a train wreck. So, realizing after a couple of weeks or more that I was off the tracks and I think the engine had even stopped, and then fighting for the last week or two to right things, I realized there was no way to salvage the situation on my own. So, I place a call to my doc's office, suggested this situation was untenable, and asked that she add more ritalin. Of course, I am already in socialized medicine, as you soon will be. (Cannot say I did not warn you all, on many occasions). So, I get a message back from one of her flunkies. He says she says no. She says if I control my diabetes, I will feel better.
Ok, fuck her. First, I have not been eating or drinking sugar since I went back on medicine. Second, I have not been eating more than 20 ounces of food a day, often less, because I am incapacitated. Fuck her and diabetes. Pardon the French, or do not, not my call. Anyway, diabetes could not be playing a role in this. I thought about flushing the medicine and just walking away, again. Instead, I have decided to cut back the medicine to the point I could take it with the amount of ritalin I am allowed here, and that will have to do. Going back to soda would be foolish, and that little amount was working on the high blood pressure to some extent. I could still function in a minor fashion and it was better than simply consuming soda and waiting for a quick and harsh lesson in life or death.
Now, to hope I can get back on track with things in a day or two. I hope the fog lifts quickly enough that I can get on track with some of the housing business at hand. This is quite frustrating. I hope those who voted for the cock suckers who just gave you the same medical care I receive enjoy it every bit as much as I do. If so, at least your version will be eradicated as fast as the next election.
Good day.
.
I have not been lazy on purpose. They have increased my medicine beyond the point of my being able to function without increasing the ritalin. Now, I carried on as well as I could. I tried this and that to get beyond it, and that only after realizing, again, my life had become a train wreck. So, realizing after a couple of weeks or more that I was off the tracks and I think the engine had even stopped, and then fighting for the last week or two to right things, I realized there was no way to salvage the situation on my own. So, I place a call to my doc's office, suggested this situation was untenable, and asked that she add more ritalin. Of course, I am already in socialized medicine, as you soon will be. (Cannot say I did not warn you all, on many occasions). So, I get a message back from one of her flunkies. He says she says no. She says if I control my diabetes, I will feel better.
Ok, fuck her. First, I have not been eating or drinking sugar since I went back on medicine. Second, I have not been eating more than 20 ounces of food a day, often less, because I am incapacitated. Fuck her and diabetes. Pardon the French, or do not, not my call. Anyway, diabetes could not be playing a role in this. I thought about flushing the medicine and just walking away, again. Instead, I have decided to cut back the medicine to the point I could take it with the amount of ritalin I am allowed here, and that will have to do. Going back to soda would be foolish, and that little amount was working on the high blood pressure to some extent. I could still function in a minor fashion and it was better than simply consuming soda and waiting for a quick and harsh lesson in life or death.
Now, to hope I can get back on track with things in a day or two. I hope the fog lifts quickly enough that I can get on track with some of the housing business at hand. This is quite frustrating. I hope those who voted for the cock suckers who just gave you the same medical care I receive enjoy it every bit as much as I do. If so, at least your version will be eradicated as fast as the next election.
Good day.
Friday, March 19, 2010
Perhaps no one will be happy, perhaps it is all good?
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.
They have been increasing my blood pressure medicine while I have been fighting through that as best as I am able. I am working on the home loan, have been looking at properties, doing a few other things, all while trying to maintain some kind of personal life of interest and value. It has been a tightrope. Of course, I have been listening to advice, looking at what is and was available in housing, and somewhat worrying about that. My work is nearly done though, on some things.
I have placed a bid and it has been accepted. I have some time to back out, and the bid is based on a good inspection and appraisal. The house and property, as of the most recent appraisal, is valued at $154,000. The asking was $127,000 plus closing costs. I bid $122,000 plus they pay closing costs. They countered and I countered again. The agreed is $125,000 and they pay closing costs. I will have, assuming all things go through, 1.25 acres (currently under agreement for alfalfa (I believe) crop with a neighbor (that contract ends at my taking of the property, of course). But, until I figure out everything, I will probably maintain that deal. I still have plenty of room for a beginning garden, and (Lord helping) will make use of that land this very spring.
The city, town really, of between 500 and 600 people, does have cable. I am not sure of water. I am secure about the house (depending on inspection of course, but just from a very serious review, speaking with the current owners, and some other things). There is work to be done, but nothing serious, demanding, or fundamental (which is great by me). Little projects, some costs but worthy ones, and of course some elbow grease (though light). If all goes well, the turnover date is set at April 23!
I am sorry, but that is as good as I could do in the time and with the money available. I have been looking for something more rural since I moved here. Nothing in my price range, even stretching it a goodly sum, has been on the market (here in Utah or in Idaho). This is at least equal to anything I have seen on the market. Further, I know the town just a bit. I have driven through it and stopped in it frequently, as it is on the path to the area my friend and myself most usually go to shoot. It is a mere 2 to 3 miles from the range I use.
As I said, given my available cash, the time frames included, and the other factors involved, this is as good as I could have done. And, it is almost done. Scary? Yes. Overwhelming? Of course. But avoiding stepping in and doing what one wants because of fear is not the way. So, I tread in and find out. Who knows, but I will have my own little place very soon... with a spread... a garden... and maybe by next year, goats and a horse? We shall see!
.
They have been increasing my blood pressure medicine while I have been fighting through that as best as I am able. I am working on the home loan, have been looking at properties, doing a few other things, all while trying to maintain some kind of personal life of interest and value. It has been a tightrope. Of course, I have been listening to advice, looking at what is and was available in housing, and somewhat worrying about that. My work is nearly done though, on some things.
I have placed a bid and it has been accepted. I have some time to back out, and the bid is based on a good inspection and appraisal. The house and property, as of the most recent appraisal, is valued at $154,000. The asking was $127,000 plus closing costs. I bid $122,000 plus they pay closing costs. They countered and I countered again. The agreed is $125,000 and they pay closing costs. I will have, assuming all things go through, 1.25 acres (currently under agreement for alfalfa (I believe) crop with a neighbor (that contract ends at my taking of the property, of course). But, until I figure out everything, I will probably maintain that deal. I still have plenty of room for a beginning garden, and (Lord helping) will make use of that land this very spring.
The city, town really, of between 500 and 600 people, does have cable. I am not sure of water. I am secure about the house (depending on inspection of course, but just from a very serious review, speaking with the current owners, and some other things). There is work to be done, but nothing serious, demanding, or fundamental (which is great by me). Little projects, some costs but worthy ones, and of course some elbow grease (though light). If all goes well, the turnover date is set at April 23!
I am sorry, but that is as good as I could do in the time and with the money available. I have been looking for something more rural since I moved here. Nothing in my price range, even stretching it a goodly sum, has been on the market (here in Utah or in Idaho). This is at least equal to anything I have seen on the market. Further, I know the town just a bit. I have driven through it and stopped in it frequently, as it is on the path to the area my friend and myself most usually go to shoot. It is a mere 2 to 3 miles from the range I use.
As I said, given my available cash, the time frames included, and the other factors involved, this is as good as I could have done. And, it is almost done. Scary? Yes. Overwhelming? Of course. But avoiding stepping in and doing what one wants because of fear is not the way. So, I tread in and find out. Who knows, but I will have my own little place very soon... with a spread... a garden... and maybe by next year, goats and a horse? We shall see!
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
I looked.
.
.
Instead of twelve places, there were only nine to view. The three not included are manufactured houses, which V.A. loans do not include. One of them included nearly 5 acres, if it looked very rough as well. I have an strong interest in one of the houses I viewed, and a milder interest in two others. The main of the strongly interesting house was rock construction, which drew me in. The inside is quite nice and the basement is reasonable for the purposes I have in mind. It has a garage with enough room for a decent work space. And there is enough room for a visitor or two, easily and comfortably. It is in a town, a very small one albeit. None of the properties were, exactly, rural. All of them were in towns, or collections of houses equivalent to small towns.
As well, an acre is not as much land as I had thought. The land on the house I am looking at most closely is clear and in good shape. A horse would work there well, though I would need to build up the fencing most likely, and build a shelter. Neither of which is too difficult, if expense would come into play. There were two other homes of interest. One, the next favored, with a fantastic view and close proximity to the mountains, would be a bit of work. The house is in decent shape, if just a bit rough. But the land would need a lot of work to get it in shape for a horse or anything really. It would be mostly manual labor, and a lot of it, but the work would be one time only. The last of the three best choices is on shortsale, which would make for a long purchase. There is already a bid in, so I probably will not mess with that. It was the newest home I looked at, and looks new. Newer houses are so... regular. What they offer in brute space they lose in character and charm.
I did not really know the prices of the houses while I was choosing and looking. I did not want that to interfere with my choice, one way or the other. Oddly, price did not really indicate what I liked, as it turns out. My favorite house is being offered at $127,000. The more expensive houses, at $159,000, were of no interest to me at all. I am seriously thinking about placing a bid of $122K and sellers pay closing on that house, where price is negotiable but closing costs are not, and seeing where that will get me (depending on a rigorous inspection of that house). It may not be in the country, but a country house is simply not available. This town is, I would guess, around 600 people and around 8 to 10 square blocks. It is about 20 miles from Logan, should I find my way back to school.
It is a very nice home, with a basement, garage, workspaces, upstairs, and a good deal of character. I think it has 2 bathrooms, 3 to 4 bedrooms, and decent storage and closet space. The land is ready to use. And it is about as rural as it gets. The house itself is quite charming, interesting, and comfortable feeling. It was built in 1883, though there have been additions. I really think I am going to speak with my broker tomorrow and see where we should go from here. A few questions, the planning of an inspection along with a bid discussion, perhaps another visit to specifically look at things, and then onward from there, I think. I want to look at it again, and really look at some things and ask some questions. What type of heating and cooling does it use (and take a look at utility bills from when it was lived in regularly), look at the rooms and spaces more closely while attempting to disregard my general good feel for the place, questions about different things which might become a cost sooner or later (how new is the roofing, furnace, and whatever).
When I returned home, I tried to find the email my broker had send which included the properties, to look over some of the details. I simply could not find it.
I was absolutely exhausted. Perhaps that is why I could not find the email. I took a nap, intending on sleeping for about 2 hours. I set the alarm to that end. I do remember waking to the alarm, using the snooze to try and revive, and failing. I 'napped' from about 14:00 until 20:00. I had to drag myself out of bed even then. And at 23:30, I am ready for bed again. Zapped. Tomorrow I need to get to the V.A. in Ogden, the clinic, and let the do a check-up and blood draw. No food after midnight, so I best get a bit to eat before I go to bed. After visiting the V.A. tomorrow or Friday, I will take a week off. I have been pushing very hard.
Doing what I can, I tell ya. That is all I can do. I must admit, I wish some of my people lived a little closer, so I could take them on a tour of the house as well and discuss some of this a bit. Then again, both are women and with very different tastes and interests. Still, that is not always a bad thing. They might come up with questions or thoughts, or at least ring a bell that got me to think about something I wanted or needed to ask. Oh well, I think I will do fine as is.
Good night.
.
Instead of twelve places, there were only nine to view. The three not included are manufactured houses, which V.A. loans do not include. One of them included nearly 5 acres, if it looked very rough as well. I have an strong interest in one of the houses I viewed, and a milder interest in two others. The main of the strongly interesting house was rock construction, which drew me in. The inside is quite nice and the basement is reasonable for the purposes I have in mind. It has a garage with enough room for a decent work space. And there is enough room for a visitor or two, easily and comfortably. It is in a town, a very small one albeit. None of the properties were, exactly, rural. All of them were in towns, or collections of houses equivalent to small towns.
As well, an acre is not as much land as I had thought. The land on the house I am looking at most closely is clear and in good shape. A horse would work there well, though I would need to build up the fencing most likely, and build a shelter. Neither of which is too difficult, if expense would come into play. There were two other homes of interest. One, the next favored, with a fantastic view and close proximity to the mountains, would be a bit of work. The house is in decent shape, if just a bit rough. But the land would need a lot of work to get it in shape for a horse or anything really. It would be mostly manual labor, and a lot of it, but the work would be one time only. The last of the three best choices is on shortsale, which would make for a long purchase. There is already a bid in, so I probably will not mess with that. It was the newest home I looked at, and looks new. Newer houses are so... regular. What they offer in brute space they lose in character and charm.
I did not really know the prices of the houses while I was choosing and looking. I did not want that to interfere with my choice, one way or the other. Oddly, price did not really indicate what I liked, as it turns out. My favorite house is being offered at $127,000. The more expensive houses, at $159,000, were of no interest to me at all. I am seriously thinking about placing a bid of $122K and sellers pay closing on that house, where price is negotiable but closing costs are not, and seeing where that will get me (depending on a rigorous inspection of that house). It may not be in the country, but a country house is simply not available. This town is, I would guess, around 600 people and around 8 to 10 square blocks. It is about 20 miles from Logan, should I find my way back to school.
It is a very nice home, with a basement, garage, workspaces, upstairs, and a good deal of character. I think it has 2 bathrooms, 3 to 4 bedrooms, and decent storage and closet space. The land is ready to use. And it is about as rural as it gets. The house itself is quite charming, interesting, and comfortable feeling. It was built in 1883, though there have been additions. I really think I am going to speak with my broker tomorrow and see where we should go from here. A few questions, the planning of an inspection along with a bid discussion, perhaps another visit to specifically look at things, and then onward from there, I think. I want to look at it again, and really look at some things and ask some questions. What type of heating and cooling does it use (and take a look at utility bills from when it was lived in regularly), look at the rooms and spaces more closely while attempting to disregard my general good feel for the place, questions about different things which might become a cost sooner or later (how new is the roofing, furnace, and whatever).
When I returned home, I tried to find the email my broker had send which included the properties, to look over some of the details. I simply could not find it.
I was absolutely exhausted. Perhaps that is why I could not find the email. I took a nap, intending on sleeping for about 2 hours. I set the alarm to that end. I do remember waking to the alarm, using the snooze to try and revive, and failing. I 'napped' from about 14:00 until 20:00. I had to drag myself out of bed even then. And at 23:30, I am ready for bed again. Zapped. Tomorrow I need to get to the V.A. in Ogden, the clinic, and let the do a check-up and blood draw. No food after midnight, so I best get a bit to eat before I go to bed. After visiting the V.A. tomorrow or Friday, I will take a week off. I have been pushing very hard.
Doing what I can, I tell ya. That is all I can do. I must admit, I wish some of my people lived a little closer, so I could take them on a tour of the house as well and discuss some of this a bit. Then again, both are women and with very different tastes and interests. Still, that is not always a bad thing. They might come up with questions or thoughts, or at least ring a bell that got me to think about something I wanted or needed to ask. Oh well, I think I will do fine as is.
Good night.
A big day!
.
.
Today is the day. I will be looking at houses. I may see as many as all twelve available. Then, the decision among them or to exclude any of them. I suspect I will narrow my search to two or three, then begin working price while waiting for a few more to choose from if I cannot get what I want. But who knows. I may see the exact house, get the right price negotiated quickly, and be looking at a time to move in before the day is done. I doubt it, but I have learned to rarely say never.
I stopped saying never say never as that defeats the saying. I have always wondered if that off manner of saying that was a bit of levity on the part of whoever made that up or whether they just were not thinking and people enjoy the irony of it or were also a bit slow so kept saying it. At least rolling stones gathers no moss makes sense if it might not be true? I suppose it might depend on if it is rolling in water or on dry land? I am no biologist though, I cannot be sure.
I think I am running out of energy. After today, I am going to take some time off. I have been, considering everything, burning the candle from both sides. Cleaning, cooking, business affairs, getting out for this and that, and such. I will continue with the house, but I am zapped. I am getting confused, messing things up, and missing appointments somehow. Yesterday's appointment was not in Ogden. It was not medical. I was supposed to see optometry. Luckily, I had a question and called the clinic. When they called back with an answer, they asked why I had called since I missed my fasting appointment and optometry was not doing a blood draw. Well, at least we got a bit of a chuckle out of the debacle. And, I did make it that extra hour drive to SLC, and on time. When I got home, I checked the cards. Of course they were right. Why or how I missed it I cannot be sure, other than that I am overdoing and getting confused. I had two cards. I read half of one and half of the other and cleanly missed that there were even two separate appointments. Even if my bad times, I did not get that confused (if I would simply fail to read the cards to begin with).
As I said, the house will continue to be cleaned, but I will have to back things off a bit otherwise. A week of semi-down time is needed. Perhaps less, I will just have to see. Still, what I have done is very good. Even just cleaning the house and stocking the larder will be much more than I have been doing and will be wonderful in itself. And, if I can at all get to it, push-ups and set-ups in the morning and evening might begin. Just a few, 10 of each perhaps, to start with and for a good 2 weeks to a month. Low doses, I have to do everything slowly.
I am back in the game, I have simply been playing too hard. I am jealous of many of you. You can, and do. Then again, if it were not for you, I would not have anything to set standards by. Jealously, like greed, are technically bad things. But without them, applied in the right way, nothing would advance, nothing would be done, and we would sit in our socialist stew merely hating without hope. So do not worry about my jealousy, I need it! And, it is as healthy of a jealousy as I can make it.
Be well!
.
Today is the day. I will be looking at houses. I may see as many as all twelve available. Then, the decision among them or to exclude any of them. I suspect I will narrow my search to two or three, then begin working price while waiting for a few more to choose from if I cannot get what I want. But who knows. I may see the exact house, get the right price negotiated quickly, and be looking at a time to move in before the day is done. I doubt it, but I have learned to rarely say never.
I stopped saying never say never as that defeats the saying. I have always wondered if that off manner of saying that was a bit of levity on the part of whoever made that up or whether they just were not thinking and people enjoy the irony of it or were also a bit slow so kept saying it. At least rolling stones gathers no moss makes sense if it might not be true? I suppose it might depend on if it is rolling in water or on dry land? I am no biologist though, I cannot be sure.
I think I am running out of energy. After today, I am going to take some time off. I have been, considering everything, burning the candle from both sides. Cleaning, cooking, business affairs, getting out for this and that, and such. I will continue with the house, but I am zapped. I am getting confused, messing things up, and missing appointments somehow. Yesterday's appointment was not in Ogden. It was not medical. I was supposed to see optometry. Luckily, I had a question and called the clinic. When they called back with an answer, they asked why I had called since I missed my fasting appointment and optometry was not doing a blood draw. Well, at least we got a bit of a chuckle out of the debacle. And, I did make it that extra hour drive to SLC, and on time. When I got home, I checked the cards. Of course they were right. Why or how I missed it I cannot be sure, other than that I am overdoing and getting confused. I had two cards. I read half of one and half of the other and cleanly missed that there were even two separate appointments. Even if my bad times, I did not get that confused (if I would simply fail to read the cards to begin with).
As I said, the house will continue to be cleaned, but I will have to back things off a bit otherwise. A week of semi-down time is needed. Perhaps less, I will just have to see. Still, what I have done is very good. Even just cleaning the house and stocking the larder will be much more than I have been doing and will be wonderful in itself. And, if I can at all get to it, push-ups and set-ups in the morning and evening might begin. Just a few, 10 of each perhaps, to start with and for a good 2 weeks to a month. Low doses, I have to do everything slowly.
I am back in the game, I have simply been playing too hard. I am jealous of many of you. You can, and do. Then again, if it were not for you, I would not have anything to set standards by. Jealously, like greed, are technically bad things. But without them, applied in the right way, nothing would advance, nothing would be done, and we would sit in our socialist stew merely hating without hope. So do not worry about my jealousy, I need it! And, it is as healthy of a jealousy as I can make it.
Be well!
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Bit by bit, now in larger bits.
.
.
I viewed the houses available, in my price range, and sent an email to the broker. When I leave for my appointment later today, I will leave a little early so that I may send the loan package through the mail. I have swept the house, mopped parts of it, taken the rugs out shaken them and they are airing outside. I am washing some of the rugs though too. When the kitchen floor dries, I will finish the dishes. I ate a bit late and was feeling rather exhausted, so I let the dishes "rest" for the night. I cannot eat this morning, I have a fasting appointment. You would know, the one morning I cannot eat, I feel a dire urge to do so. Ha!
I honestly cannot believe how well I am doing. No, this is still not optimal. Leaving the house, doing many chores at once, and some other things will still put me down. Getting put down, now, however, only lasts a few hours to a day. I also realize I cannot multi-task. If I am making calls, I cannot clean. If I am cleaning, business and fun outdoor activities become limited. As well, how long I work is still rather limited. After the big ski trip this year, I am sure I can do more. Then again, that made me sore and cranky, bodily, for a couple of weeks. I still have real limits. I can push those, and further, but there will be a price. I need to open that up a bit. When I find the time to set business aside for a bit, I will begin working out however I may with what is available. I am guessing that set-ups and push-ups are a simple way to start, walking after those are back online and if I still have excess energy or want or ability. At that point, I will begin trying to expand my horizons by adding calculus study in, making my hours and days more of a multi-task training period.
I have noticed that my writing has become much more bland. I think it is because I do have limits, and I am riding right up to, and often a little or a lot past, those and so have little left over for creativity and such. As well, being busy, my mind is not ruminating as much about this topic or that subject. It is doing what it can. It will improve as I 'grow into myself' again. Bland updates, task tracking information for myself, and just the act of blogging itself is what I have for now. Apologies...
Have a great day!
.
I viewed the houses available, in my price range, and sent an email to the broker. When I leave for my appointment later today, I will leave a little early so that I may send the loan package through the mail. I have swept the house, mopped parts of it, taken the rugs out shaken them and they are airing outside. I am washing some of the rugs though too. When the kitchen floor dries, I will finish the dishes. I ate a bit late and was feeling rather exhausted, so I let the dishes "rest" for the night. I cannot eat this morning, I have a fasting appointment. You would know, the one morning I cannot eat, I feel a dire urge to do so. Ha!
I honestly cannot believe how well I am doing. No, this is still not optimal. Leaving the house, doing many chores at once, and some other things will still put me down. Getting put down, now, however, only lasts a few hours to a day. I also realize I cannot multi-task. If I am making calls, I cannot clean. If I am cleaning, business and fun outdoor activities become limited. As well, how long I work is still rather limited. After the big ski trip this year, I am sure I can do more. Then again, that made me sore and cranky, bodily, for a couple of weeks. I still have real limits. I can push those, and further, but there will be a price. I need to open that up a bit. When I find the time to set business aside for a bit, I will begin working out however I may with what is available. I am guessing that set-ups and push-ups are a simple way to start, walking after those are back online and if I still have excess energy or want or ability. At that point, I will begin trying to expand my horizons by adding calculus study in, making my hours and days more of a multi-task training period.
I have noticed that my writing has become much more bland. I think it is because I do have limits, and I am riding right up to, and often a little or a lot past, those and so have little left over for creativity and such. As well, being busy, my mind is not ruminating as much about this topic or that subject. It is doing what it can. It will improve as I 'grow into myself' again. Bland updates, task tracking information for myself, and just the act of blogging itself is what I have for now. Apologies...
Have a great day!
Monday, March 8, 2010
Getting close.
.
.
A load of laundry was completed yesterday. More cooking was done today, I needed more beans for the meat. Last week I looked at freezer to fridge to oven bowls, and a few chef knives (I am addicted to cooking wares, by the way). I called about my V.A. check today, to get that posting here. I called about my DD-214, hoping to have some news regarding that for the loan broker. I had no luck, so I discussed that with him. He said to go ahead and send what I have, they do not need the DD-214 immediately. Well, I am doing what I can. Oh, cleaned the bathroom a bit today. I would call it more prep cleaning than the actual deed, but it was needed.
Tomorrow I have an appointment with my doctor's office. I will not be seeing her, just a checkup with her staff. Right! It is a fasting appointment. So I will have to keep that in mind. I am glad I am tallying my projects here. So much yet to do, but I have been burning through my list. I still have a long and growing list, but that is as it should be. It is good to know though, that when I can, I do. That always worries me. Worrying if I might actually just be lazy. Nope. Mostly. :p
Now to check finances. I could not log into my account in Iowa today, the site was down or for some other reason, my browser would not connect. I will be trying a few times today and tomorrow. Barring connecting, I will call them tomorrow afternoon or Wednesday.
No time for much play yet, but that is coming. I need to get out hiking and fishing. I think snow is pretty much done here, so no more skiing. Hmmm, I wonder just how cold that water is. I might have to find a nice quiet little pool and find out. Ha! No, it will not kill me. For as bad of shape as I am and have been in, I am fit as an iron fiddle. Weird but I love it.
Be well.
.
A load of laundry was completed yesterday. More cooking was done today, I needed more beans for the meat. Last week I looked at freezer to fridge to oven bowls, and a few chef knives (I am addicted to cooking wares, by the way). I called about my V.A. check today, to get that posting here. I called about my DD-214, hoping to have some news regarding that for the loan broker. I had no luck, so I discussed that with him. He said to go ahead and send what I have, they do not need the DD-214 immediately. Well, I am doing what I can. Oh, cleaned the bathroom a bit today. I would call it more prep cleaning than the actual deed, but it was needed.
Tomorrow I have an appointment with my doctor's office. I will not be seeing her, just a checkup with her staff. Right! It is a fasting appointment. So I will have to keep that in mind. I am glad I am tallying my projects here. So much yet to do, but I have been burning through my list. I still have a long and growing list, but that is as it should be. It is good to know though, that when I can, I do. That always worries me. Worrying if I might actually just be lazy. Nope. Mostly. :p
Now to check finances. I could not log into my account in Iowa today, the site was down or for some other reason, my browser would not connect. I will be trying a few times today and tomorrow. Barring connecting, I will call them tomorrow afternoon or Wednesday.
No time for much play yet, but that is coming. I need to get out hiking and fishing. I think snow is pretty much done here, so no more skiing. Hmmm, I wonder just how cold that water is. I might have to find a nice quiet little pool and find out. Ha! No, it will not kill me. For as bad of shape as I am and have been in, I am fit as an iron fiddle. Weird but I love it.
Be well.
Sunday, March 7, 2010
I have been busy and well.
.
.
Saturday was shooting day. I am improving, slowly. Still, it is not all about hitting the target. Getting out of the house, talking to someone, and of course just the pleasure of sending a few hot ones down the way. The drive and being outside are also very good. And, usually, a meal. As I get better though, rather than eating out, I am cooking myself. Lobster and some sort of large crab legs were on the menu, along with a baked potato and beer. About once a month is all I can take of that though. Well, perhaps twice? The lobster tail are quite sweet, and only about $6 each. Two is quite enough, from now on. Now that I clean up quickly afterward, I will probably do a good deal more entertaining... How good it is.
In spite of just having had company over yesterday, I did so again today. I had beans I needed to use up and thought a ham would work perfectly for that. But there was a bit much to eat on my own, so I asked my friend to find his way here. I did not realize the buses do not run on Sunday, so I went and fetched him. It was a quick quiet affair. The meal was quite nice, neither of us is used to home cooked foods. Him because he just does not do that, me because I have been ill. Beyond, I plan on having spaghetti dinner this Thursday. But this time I will be asking some other people over. I have already asked regular friend over, I just have to contact a few others.
On the way back, after giving my friend a ride home, I grabbed some cleaning supplies. The kitchen is now at 70% spic and span, the rest of the house needs a good deal of attention. The bathrooms first. My main one is in very poor shape, poor thing. The other is pretty good, but it is good to give it a once over while I am at it. Laundry is being kept up, dishes are being kept up, and business is being tended as I remember and get to it. I am still a bit sluggish, to my mind. I do, however, see the finish line. That finish line is the beginning, not the end, however. That finish line is where everyone else starts, I have been quite behind.
Life is looking good again, very good.
.
Saturday was shooting day. I am improving, slowly. Still, it is not all about hitting the target. Getting out of the house, talking to someone, and of course just the pleasure of sending a few hot ones down the way. The drive and being outside are also very good. And, usually, a meal. As I get better though, rather than eating out, I am cooking myself. Lobster and some sort of large crab legs were on the menu, along with a baked potato and beer. About once a month is all I can take of that though. Well, perhaps twice? The lobster tail are quite sweet, and only about $6 each. Two is quite enough, from now on. Now that I clean up quickly afterward, I will probably do a good deal more entertaining... How good it is.
In spite of just having had company over yesterday, I did so again today. I had beans I needed to use up and thought a ham would work perfectly for that. But there was a bit much to eat on my own, so I asked my friend to find his way here. I did not realize the buses do not run on Sunday, so I went and fetched him. It was a quick quiet affair. The meal was quite nice, neither of us is used to home cooked foods. Him because he just does not do that, me because I have been ill. Beyond, I plan on having spaghetti dinner this Thursday. But this time I will be asking some other people over. I have already asked regular friend over, I just have to contact a few others.
On the way back, after giving my friend a ride home, I grabbed some cleaning supplies. The kitchen is now at 70% spic and span, the rest of the house needs a good deal of attention. The bathrooms first. My main one is in very poor shape, poor thing. The other is pretty good, but it is good to give it a once over while I am at it. Laundry is being kept up, dishes are being kept up, and business is being tended as I remember and get to it. I am still a bit sluggish, to my mind. I do, however, see the finish line. That finish line is the beginning, not the end, however. That finish line is where everyone else starts, I have been quite behind.
Life is looking good again, very good.
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Another day out.
.
.
"Gone shooting." I need a sign with that on it. Of course, no one ever visits, so whatever. It looks to rain, snow, or something tomorrow while today is sunny and almost 50 F. So, it is back to the range. One box of .45's and I think I will be taking my .22 pistol this time as well. Perhaps it will help me get back into pistol usage just as well, less expensively, and without worrying about brass. I feel downright foolish missing as often as I do. At 50 to 60 yards, I should not miss a pop can, let alone bottle, more than a few times a magazine, and then usually only when I get silly. And that is discussing the 13 round magazines. This last summer, I rarely missed even with the .357, it with a 2" barrel.
Of course, dinner after. Though I might talk my shooting partner into lobster here at my place. Two tails cost about $10, some baked potatoes cost little, and frozen broccoli or something is pretty cheap too. Plus, I could do double duty and buy the rest of items on my grocery list. I like doing double duty, cooking and eating rightly, and doing so on the cheap. Odd how little a home cooked meal costs, how much better it is from quality to taste to the freshness of ingredients. The main costs being time, clean up, and serving one's self. But I am on those last now, my kitchen is nice and clean dishes, pots, and pans are plentiful!
Well, I best be going. Time is running out, I said I would be there at 13:00, so, gotta go. Have a great day!
.
"Gone shooting." I need a sign with that on it. Of course, no one ever visits, so whatever. It looks to rain, snow, or something tomorrow while today is sunny and almost 50 F. So, it is back to the range. One box of .45's and I think I will be taking my .22 pistol this time as well. Perhaps it will help me get back into pistol usage just as well, less expensively, and without worrying about brass. I feel downright foolish missing as often as I do. At 50 to 60 yards, I should not miss a pop can, let alone bottle, more than a few times a magazine, and then usually only when I get silly. And that is discussing the 13 round magazines. This last summer, I rarely missed even with the .357, it with a 2" barrel.
Of course, dinner after. Though I might talk my shooting partner into lobster here at my place. Two tails cost about $10, some baked potatoes cost little, and frozen broccoli or something is pretty cheap too. Plus, I could do double duty and buy the rest of items on my grocery list. I like doing double duty, cooking and eating rightly, and doing so on the cheap. Odd how little a home cooked meal costs, how much better it is from quality to taste to the freshness of ingredients. The main costs being time, clean up, and serving one's self. But I am on those last now, my kitchen is nice and clean dishes, pots, and pans are plentiful!
Well, I best be going. Time is running out, I said I would be there at 13:00, so, gotta go. Have a great day!
Friday, March 5, 2010
The spirit is willing...
.
.
As they say, but the flesh is weak. It will take some time to get the body back into shape. I can do well on small things for short periods, but an afternoon of anything, or a morning full of calls and business, wear me right out. I see my doctor the 9th. I have been considering asking her about physical therapy of some sort. It would need to be as local as possible, but it could really help. When the body does almost nothing for months, flexibility, strength, and endurance disappear. Those things are necessary for simple life, and least life as most people know it. Just some thoughts.
I am very tired this evening. I am getting ready to hit it and hard. Good night!
.
As they say, but the flesh is weak. It will take some time to get the body back into shape. I can do well on small things for short periods, but an afternoon of anything, or a morning full of calls and business, wear me right out. I see my doctor the 9th. I have been considering asking her about physical therapy of some sort. It would need to be as local as possible, but it could really help. When the body does almost nothing for months, flexibility, strength, and endurance disappear. Those things are necessary for simple life, and least life as most people know it. Just some thoughts.
I am very tired this evening. I am getting ready to hit it and hard. Good night!
Not too bad.
.
.
I got busy today. I checked on the medicine, it was sent two days ago. Check. I made contact with my buyer broker, he is sending out new leads to the email account to which I have access and we will begin looking at houses next week. Check. I called my loan pre-approval agent. I did not reach him and he has not called back yet. I did let him know I was having difficulties knowing how to obtain my DD 214 (discharge papers). That is as much as I can do. Check. I made my car payment over the phone. Check. And finally I took care of a major worry. I realized I must be fairly late on my storage fees. I kept fearing that I had lost everything (you know how not knowing for sure how far behind you are when you realize you are behind but have been too... out of it... to think straight for a while?). I was two months behind, and had late fees for that. I explained my condition and difficulties, in apology. She went ahead and halved my late fees! I then paid for another six months plus the late fees. Now I have no worries until this July. Expensive, no doubt, but worth the loss of worry and there is a discount. That, if luck holds, will easily see me into my new house, perhaps with a rebate if I can move quickly and early. Check.
I still have things to do, but I ran out of nerve, energy, and will. Monday will be the day to move on getting my Social Security and V.A. checks directed to my local bank, check on two other bills, and attempt to contact the mortgage center agent again. Not bad, really, just not too bad. Calling and doing business is often a fearful thing, while I am in a funk or even while coming out of one. There is something strange about actually interacting with the world and people and money and all. That should improve. Actually, it already has. I would not have been able to do this a week ago. It only has not been done sooner because it takes time to get to things, and just having a few things at home taken care of first was primal.
I did make a wonderful meal with some of the beans I had recently cooked and some brots I had recently bought, thawed, and cooked. I had half a brot by itself, wonderful it was! But heating the beans with some of the brots in some of the cooking juice from the beans to make a mild soup, then adding a quarter cup of whole whipping cream and a little salt. Fantastic is all I can say. Plus, keeping up on dishes. Oh, and when I cook a large portion now, I feel no need to overeat. I have containers, the owners containers, which go from freezer or fridge to oven and back. So I have been eating well, the right amounts, having leftovers, and doing very well in this regard, thank you very much.
Life can be so simple. For me that means just the right medicines. For others, I suppose it means a little more attention to detail. Nice... That is all I can say. It is nice to be alive and well.
.
I got busy today. I checked on the medicine, it was sent two days ago. Check. I made contact with my buyer broker, he is sending out new leads to the email account to which I have access and we will begin looking at houses next week. Check. I called my loan pre-approval agent. I did not reach him and he has not called back yet. I did let him know I was having difficulties knowing how to obtain my DD 214 (discharge papers). That is as much as I can do. Check. I made my car payment over the phone. Check. And finally I took care of a major worry. I realized I must be fairly late on my storage fees. I kept fearing that I had lost everything (you know how not knowing for sure how far behind you are when you realize you are behind but have been too... out of it... to think straight for a while?). I was two months behind, and had late fees for that. I explained my condition and difficulties, in apology. She went ahead and halved my late fees! I then paid for another six months plus the late fees. Now I have no worries until this July. Expensive, no doubt, but worth the loss of worry and there is a discount. That, if luck holds, will easily see me into my new house, perhaps with a rebate if I can move quickly and early. Check.
I still have things to do, but I ran out of nerve, energy, and will. Monday will be the day to move on getting my Social Security and V.A. checks directed to my local bank, check on two other bills, and attempt to contact the mortgage center agent again. Not bad, really, just not too bad. Calling and doing business is often a fearful thing, while I am in a funk or even while coming out of one. There is something strange about actually interacting with the world and people and money and all. That should improve. Actually, it already has. I would not have been able to do this a week ago. It only has not been done sooner because it takes time to get to things, and just having a few things at home taken care of first was primal.
I did make a wonderful meal with some of the beans I had recently cooked and some brots I had recently bought, thawed, and cooked. I had half a brot by itself, wonderful it was! But heating the beans with some of the brots in some of the cooking juice from the beans to make a mild soup, then adding a quarter cup of whole whipping cream and a little salt. Fantastic is all I can say. Plus, keeping up on dishes. Oh, and when I cook a large portion now, I feel no need to overeat. I have containers, the owners containers, which go from freezer or fridge to oven and back. So I have been eating well, the right amounts, having leftovers, and doing very well in this regard, thank you very much.
Life can be so simple. For me that means just the right medicines. For others, I suppose it means a little more attention to detail. Nice... That is all I can say. It is nice to be alive and well.
Oops!
.
.
Or, thank God it's Friday (and not Saturday). I got nothing done, as I had written, yesterday. My friend called and suggested we go shooting. Well, we went shooting, then had dinner. Our shoot days are all day, at least from the time they start onward. As well, I got into a minor project and ended up not going to bed in a... timely manner. It was after 5:00 when I rolled my bones into the hay. I decided not to allow this to mess up my schedule, so I set the alarm for 10:30. And, I woke up at 9:00 without the alarm, and called it good. I think I will begin my calls at 12:00, instead of 13:00 though, as there is an hour or two difference between here and some of the places I may end up calling which favors an early start.
The shooting was good. I only shot one box in the .45 though. It is too slushy to retrieved cases, so I simply do not wish to pick them up. In many cases, I cannot pick them up. My shooting is improving, though it will be slow because of the one box limit I have self imposed in the wait for easier retrieval of cases. But that Henry .22 is a golden gun. I am shooting sub-quarter sized clay remnant shards at 60 yards and more. S A W E E T! I think that is how it is said?
I have, however, been keeping up on the dishes and I did get the regrowth off my face. After shaving my beard a bit back, I had failed to managed the fuzz until it became an ugly 'tweener' man-face-hair... thing! And, I have taken control of finger and toe nails, and the wretchedly dry skin on my feet and toe nail areas. It takes a while to get nearly bone hard skin out of the cuticle areas once that sets in.
Bit by bit, one thing at a time, one day at a time. But I am coming back online. Wow, all I can say is wow. You have no idea how nice it is to be coming back to life. I know many people take this for granted. And, I think that is good to some degree. We cannot be down on our knees all of the time or we would not produce the things that make life amenable, let alone survivable. If nothing else, my illness allows me moments of retrospect in which I get to see all of the grandeur of the wonderful thing that we call life. The price is high but the view is gorgeous.
Be well!
.
Or, thank God it's Friday (and not Saturday). I got nothing done, as I had written, yesterday. My friend called and suggested we go shooting. Well, we went shooting, then had dinner. Our shoot days are all day, at least from the time they start onward. As well, I got into a minor project and ended up not going to bed in a... timely manner. It was after 5:00 when I rolled my bones into the hay. I decided not to allow this to mess up my schedule, so I set the alarm for 10:30. And, I woke up at 9:00 without the alarm, and called it good. I think I will begin my calls at 12:00, instead of 13:00 though, as there is an hour or two difference between here and some of the places I may end up calling which favors an early start.
The shooting was good. I only shot one box in the .45 though. It is too slushy to retrieved cases, so I simply do not wish to pick them up. In many cases, I cannot pick them up. My shooting is improving, though it will be slow because of the one box limit I have self imposed in the wait for easier retrieval of cases. But that Henry .22 is a golden gun. I am shooting sub-quarter sized clay remnant shards at 60 yards and more. S A W E E T! I think that is how it is said?
I have, however, been keeping up on the dishes and I did get the regrowth off my face. After shaving my beard a bit back, I had failed to managed the fuzz until it became an ugly 'tweener' man-face-hair... thing! And, I have taken control of finger and toe nails, and the wretchedly dry skin on my feet and toe nail areas. It takes a while to get nearly bone hard skin out of the cuticle areas once that sets in.
Bit by bit, one thing at a time, one day at a time. But I am coming back online. Wow, all I can say is wow. You have no idea how nice it is to be coming back to life. I know many people take this for granted. And, I think that is good to some degree. We cannot be down on our knees all of the time or we would not produce the things that make life amenable, let alone survivable. If nothing else, my illness allows me moments of retrospect in which I get to see all of the grandeur of the wonderful thing that we call life. The price is high but the view is gorgeous.
Be well!
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