.
.
Much is yet to be done, some may not get done, but some has been done. I did a little research and found a vacuum I thought I could trust. It's a Eureka, uses bags, full size (or as much as vacuums get to full size, since they are made for women), and works well. Hepa filter? Meh, it has it but so what? I do not think they make them without it now, do they? Still, at $140 or so after tax, I cannot complain so far. And, yes, it has been taken out of the box, assembled, AND used!
The living room, kitchen, and dining room are pretty much good. The bedrooms need a bit of work and laundry, the bathrooms need a good run through, and I need to get boxes moved. Today was going to be boxes, but I simply could not sleep last night. Why, I cannot say.
I missed an appointment this morning, but it does not matter. They were going to do a blood test for the medicines I am taking, but after ordering them and checking on them, they have failed to arrive in this last 2 to 3 weeks. I will have to order again. I had meant to call, but the lack of sleep just did not allow the simple concentration to do so. Wait, I might still have time!
I am hoping, after a bit of a nap, I will still have time to load one or two loads of boxes over storage. That should be all of the boxes I currently have here. Then, of course, I will need to get more boxes and begin working on the day to day stuff I have around the house. I will leave some food. Some of it replacement for some of their stuff I used, some of it simply in gratitude (things I like that they may not have tried). I do not know how fussy they are, food wise, so may get some of it returned. I plan on offering them a small monetary token of gratitude as well. Perhaps $150 dollars as a thank you. Trust me, having a house, garage, and privacy for the same price as a busy college dormitory (essentially) was worth far more than what I paid.
After the boxes today, tomorrow is bathrooms for sure. Perhaps some yard work as well. The days are getting short for their return, and I am nervous. It is almost like having one's parents return from a visit somewhere for an extended time. Perhaps they know the place will not be perfect, but they will be disappointed if there has not at least been an attempt made to give some credence to their trust in me. Then again, I am a man, a bachelor at that, and disabled on top of it. Still, it would be nice to be surprisingly kempt (seeming). These are people who I think I would like to remain friends with. For their age, and probably any age, they seem alive, interesting, and active. Atheist? Yeah. Academic? Sure. And? Like is sometimes simply chemistry. And perhaps a mutual way that is parallel, if not exactly identical. I may be wrong but I fail to skip the chance at hope. Even in people, maybe especially in people.
Well, let me get to that phone call, get a nap, and then hopefully get more done today. Here is hoping that your and my day ends up with successes. Even the small ones count. Be well, find love, and... I dunno... hush! :P
Update:
I called the V.A. in time, I think, to let the clinic know I would not be arriving and why. Then I had them transfer my call to pharmacy. While waiting, I was disconnected. I called back and after another goodly wait, I did get through. The woman spoke with such a heavy oriental accent that I could not, for the most part, understand her. What I did pick up is that one of my high blood pressure medicines has been discontinued, she will send the Lisinopril, but she will have to speak with my "doctor" before sending the Ritalin. I can guess on that answer. It looks like the gig is up. No Ritalin, no medicine. I simply will not be force to sleep like that, and cannot take my medicines effectively without it anyway.
Another day in a dogs life. From what I am hearing about my brother's "care" at the V.A., I am realizing it really is not me, just me, or about me. It does not matter if it is a back injury suffered in the service or whatever it is that is wrong with me. It is simply a system that is broke, was broken on purpose, and no longer serves the purpose for which it was intended. Thank the Democrats for throwing money at a solution that was meant to fail.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Ouch, or as I like to say now, "Wouch".
.
.
I slept hard. I mean rock hard. I had my alarm set for 10:00. Getting to bed by 2:00 or 2:30 should have seen a wake up at that time as feasible. Not so. I would not give up though. I kept pressing snooze in the mad hopes of being able to arise the next alarm. I finally surrendered at 11:30 or so, turning off the alarm. Waking at 14:00 or a little before or after, I still feel like a rock. Stone cold tired and in some pain. I just will not sleep anymore anyway. Chalk it up to a rough one and call it good.
I have only a week to get the house ready for the owner's to return, the one I am staying in. It is not too bad, but there is some work. To that end, and in preparation to my own home ownership, I think I will investigate vacuum cleaners and buy a good one. The rest after vacuuming is just a bit of neatening, moving a few boxes to storage or the house, a bit of mopping and such, and some airing out of the place (whether the weather agrees or not). A bit each day should see me in good shape, and by God, this time I will do it! I really appreciate staying in this place, a home, rather than in that retched apartment. And, I like these people. Bother that they be academics and atheists, I like them. It is just how it is. I am, sometimes, quite picky about who I like too.
Well, a little tinkering to wake up, a little work, and then on with whatever happens today.
You all have a good day. Remember God too. Beside it being His day (for us, even so, and oddly), understand we are on His mind every day. Do not feel blessed? Perhaps you do not understand. Your very breath is His blessing. If that is not a blessing to you, I dare you to simply stop doing so. But before you do, look around, talk to someone, find someone who cares (there are many of us who do), go have a nice dinner, and fiddle with a project or craft or distraction. Then decide. Maybe even a good nights sleep will get you over a hump. Even my rough one allowed a good control-alt-delete for me.
Be loved!
.
I slept hard. I mean rock hard. I had my alarm set for 10:00. Getting to bed by 2:00 or 2:30 should have seen a wake up at that time as feasible. Not so. I would not give up though. I kept pressing snooze in the mad hopes of being able to arise the next alarm. I finally surrendered at 11:30 or so, turning off the alarm. Waking at 14:00 or a little before or after, I still feel like a rock. Stone cold tired and in some pain. I just will not sleep anymore anyway. Chalk it up to a rough one and call it good.
I have only a week to get the house ready for the owner's to return, the one I am staying in. It is not too bad, but there is some work. To that end, and in preparation to my own home ownership, I think I will investigate vacuum cleaners and buy a good one. The rest after vacuuming is just a bit of neatening, moving a few boxes to storage or the house, a bit of mopping and such, and some airing out of the place (whether the weather agrees or not). A bit each day should see me in good shape, and by God, this time I will do it! I really appreciate staying in this place, a home, rather than in that retched apartment. And, I like these people. Bother that they be academics and atheists, I like them. It is just how it is. I am, sometimes, quite picky about who I like too.
Well, a little tinkering to wake up, a little work, and then on with whatever happens today.
You all have a good day. Remember God too. Beside it being His day (for us, even so, and oddly), understand we are on His mind every day. Do not feel blessed? Perhaps you do not understand. Your very breath is His blessing. If that is not a blessing to you, I dare you to simply stop doing so. But before you do, look around, talk to someone, find someone who cares (there are many of us who do), go have a nice dinner, and fiddle with a project or craft or distraction. Then decide. Maybe even a good nights sleep will get you over a hump. Even my rough one allowed a good control-alt-delete for me.
Be loved!
Friday, April 30, 2010
It is a go.
.
.
I finally got an straight answer. They decided, definitively, to have someone in to do the work. The last thing, that I know of, was having the crawlspace enlarged. Of course, the work will have to be done and then it will have to be inspected along with all other work. As well, what can in theory be accessed through the enlarged opening must also be inspected. That is as good as it gets for now. But that is enough that I will take my foot of the brake and go ahead with anything I can do.
Why it took two weeks or more to get a definitive decision on these things in spite of having everyone press ahead ignorantly, I have no idea. Why the conflicting reports of what would and could be done, again, I do not know. I feel like the world merely messes with me from time to time, to see if I will go ahead and jump off a cliff or something. Well, no, I will not. I will not blindly follow someone who has no skin in the game while they set me up for failure. I simply will not do so. Faith in men falls somewhere between lacking and non-existent. Especially business men. And woman are simply business men in skirts and dresses, so no leeway there either.
If my broker and company end up not liking me, I can deal with that. They did a lot of work but they messed up just like the rest of us. Same with the seller, their agent, and the V.A. I really do not think anyone knows what they are collectively doing, to be honest. Or, the way things are usually done is quite... loose. The V.A. and myself seem to be a bit more particular, if in our own ways.
Oh well, if it gets done, and rightly, it is all good. And, yes, I will thank the parties involved and be grateful for their efforts. Mistakes happen. I certainly was not perfect, or even very on the ball. I did what I could, when I could, how I could. And I would guess that is all anyone did, if some were better at staying with it and getting some things right than others.
Well, good night.
.
I finally got an straight answer. They decided, definitively, to have someone in to do the work. The last thing, that I know of, was having the crawlspace enlarged. Of course, the work will have to be done and then it will have to be inspected along with all other work. As well, what can in theory be accessed through the enlarged opening must also be inspected. That is as good as it gets for now. But that is enough that I will take my foot of the brake and go ahead with anything I can do.
Why it took two weeks or more to get a definitive decision on these things in spite of having everyone press ahead ignorantly, I have no idea. Why the conflicting reports of what would and could be done, again, I do not know. I feel like the world merely messes with me from time to time, to see if I will go ahead and jump off a cliff or something. Well, no, I will not. I will not blindly follow someone who has no skin in the game while they set me up for failure. I simply will not do so. Faith in men falls somewhere between lacking and non-existent. Especially business men. And woman are simply business men in skirts and dresses, so no leeway there either.
If my broker and company end up not liking me, I can deal with that. They did a lot of work but they messed up just like the rest of us. Same with the seller, their agent, and the V.A. I really do not think anyone knows what they are collectively doing, to be honest. Or, the way things are usually done is quite... loose. The V.A. and myself seem to be a bit more particular, if in our own ways.
Oh well, if it gets done, and rightly, it is all good. And, yes, I will thank the parties involved and be grateful for their efforts. Mistakes happen. I certainly was not perfect, or even very on the ball. I did what I could, when I could, how I could. And I would guess that is all anyone did, if some were better at staying with it and getting some things right than others.
Well, good night.
Missed a call.
.
.
My broker called while I was otherwise busy. I called him back moments later. No answer. Since I had no information for him I did not leave a message. His "message" only indicated that he wanted to see what was going on. Well, nothing is going on or will go on until the repairs are complete. Repairs I cannot order, financially cover, or handle in any manner. They have had 3 weeks to decide to do or not do these things and they have not done them. As far as I am concerned, the deal is over, the owners simply need to admit it and return my money. Perhaps they will surprise me, though I have great doubts.
I went out to eat tonight. Ribs. Not the best, but okay. And, of course it being a college town, a gay waiter. I despise male servers, but I really despise gay ones. Then again, are there non-gay waiters? I am sure there are a few. Or at least the smart ones do not lisp like they have something in their mouth. Get outta here!
Well, bedtime. I will find out more when I find out more. Perhaps they want me to end the deal so they can keep the $500. It is not going to happen. They will have to admit they are not going to have the work done or the financial deal will just have to time out. I will do nothing more, but I will also not end negotiations, such as they are. I will sleep well and begin looking for a place to rent. Somewhere away from the gayness that is academia. Blah... Good night.
.
My broker called while I was otherwise busy. I called him back moments later. No answer. Since I had no information for him I did not leave a message. His "message" only indicated that he wanted to see what was going on. Well, nothing is going on or will go on until the repairs are complete. Repairs I cannot order, financially cover, or handle in any manner. They have had 3 weeks to decide to do or not do these things and they have not done them. As far as I am concerned, the deal is over, the owners simply need to admit it and return my money. Perhaps they will surprise me, though I have great doubts.
I went out to eat tonight. Ribs. Not the best, but okay. And, of course it being a college town, a gay waiter. I despise male servers, but I really despise gay ones. Then again, are there non-gay waiters? I am sure there are a few. Or at least the smart ones do not lisp like they have something in their mouth. Get outta here!
Well, bedtime. I will find out more when I find out more. Perhaps they want me to end the deal so they can keep the $500. It is not going to happen. They will have to admit they are not going to have the work done or the financial deal will just have to time out. I will do nothing more, but I will also not end negotiations, such as they are. I will sleep well and begin looking for a place to rent. Somewhere away from the gayness that is academia. Blah... Good night.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
The house.
.
.
The update is that after talking to the owners, my broker, their broker through my broker, and the engineer, I know nothing more than I did before. A simple yes or no would suffice. I have heard the floor and electrical are done, just need inspected. But I have been told the crawl space cannot be expanded, which I do not believe to be true. However, if that is the case or they will not have it expanded, then the deal is a fail. The crawl space needs to be expanded, as what the engineer needs to inspect is both an expanded crawl space and what he needs to see when he is able to get through there (whether there is enough space between the wood of the house and the dirt underneath it).
Why, when they hired an engineer, they did not also fax or email him what they needed him to inspect or wait to hire him for the work to be completed (my broker agency) I have no idea. But that is it, in a nutshell. As I have said, until I know that the work will be done, all of it, I cannot put another nickel, cup of gas, or hour of thought or work into the deal. I am not sure if the sellers realize there are no eligible buyers except the few that trickle through from FHA or VA mortgaging. If one is harsh, I think the other (whichever that is) will be even more strict.
Add to that, their broker has the gall to push for a closure without pushing his clients to complete the work. It is more than a double standard as it is his side holding things up. I cannot order floor work, I cannot call in for the enlargement of the crawl space. I cannot even really do much work without their approval an allowance.
Oh, the painting. I tried to rent scaffolding but could not find a single rental. I made about 7 calls to that end. I can, if I am assured they will get the crawl space enlarged, do two more windows and anything on the garage. I cannot do the eaves or some of the other tricky to get to places. I will not go out on a very thin ladder to do that kind of work. And, I suggested that the $750 quote was quite high and that we needed to get quotes from other painters, not just one.
Who knows, but a close by Friday seems unlikely. Even if everything else goes well, the inspections (the initial inspector has to come back and approve the work and the engineer will obviously have to return) will take more time. They simply do not just show up, taking several days to fit a visit into their schedules. So be it.
Like I said, I know nothing more than I knew before. I know more detail, but not whether the list is going to be completed. They have to know that no inspector will now sign off without them doing the crawl space, as that will be required for even a regular bank loan at this point. Everybody is getting quite particular. And buyers are drying up due to many factors. I wish I could help them, or just pay for it, but I cannot. I am sure they have lost money on the loan, the deal, and such. But they are in line only to lose more. Possibly a lot more. Plus, as I have said, they will have to do everything on that list, and maybe more.
But I am not freaking, panicking, or even terribly bothered. I want this, but it is not the end of the world (probably, or at least not due to a house loan not closing, even this one). I want in, they want out, everyone wants their cut, nobody can or will spend what they do not have to see it happen. Still, the prospect of a rental for a year or three is no fun. I will have mere days to find a place if this falls through. Actually, I should start looking for a decent place to rent now... Ugh... Morz junk to research, negotiate, and such.
Well, have a good one. Bedtime hereabouts.
.
The update is that after talking to the owners, my broker, their broker through my broker, and the engineer, I know nothing more than I did before. A simple yes or no would suffice. I have heard the floor and electrical are done, just need inspected. But I have been told the crawl space cannot be expanded, which I do not believe to be true. However, if that is the case or they will not have it expanded, then the deal is a fail. The crawl space needs to be expanded, as what the engineer needs to inspect is both an expanded crawl space and what he needs to see when he is able to get through there (whether there is enough space between the wood of the house and the dirt underneath it).
Why, when they hired an engineer, they did not also fax or email him what they needed him to inspect or wait to hire him for the work to be completed (my broker agency) I have no idea. But that is it, in a nutshell. As I have said, until I know that the work will be done, all of it, I cannot put another nickel, cup of gas, or hour of thought or work into the deal. I am not sure if the sellers realize there are no eligible buyers except the few that trickle through from FHA or VA mortgaging. If one is harsh, I think the other (whichever that is) will be even more strict.
Add to that, their broker has the gall to push for a closure without pushing his clients to complete the work. It is more than a double standard as it is his side holding things up. I cannot order floor work, I cannot call in for the enlargement of the crawl space. I cannot even really do much work without their approval an allowance.
Oh, the painting. I tried to rent scaffolding but could not find a single rental. I made about 7 calls to that end. I can, if I am assured they will get the crawl space enlarged, do two more windows and anything on the garage. I cannot do the eaves or some of the other tricky to get to places. I will not go out on a very thin ladder to do that kind of work. And, I suggested that the $750 quote was quite high and that we needed to get quotes from other painters, not just one.
Who knows, but a close by Friday seems unlikely. Even if everything else goes well, the inspections (the initial inspector has to come back and approve the work and the engineer will obviously have to return) will take more time. They simply do not just show up, taking several days to fit a visit into their schedules. So be it.
Like I said, I know nothing more than I knew before. I know more detail, but not whether the list is going to be completed. They have to know that no inspector will now sign off without them doing the crawl space, as that will be required for even a regular bank loan at this point. Everybody is getting quite particular. And buyers are drying up due to many factors. I wish I could help them, or just pay for it, but I cannot. I am sure they have lost money on the loan, the deal, and such. But they are in line only to lose more. Possibly a lot more. Plus, as I have said, they will have to do everything on that list, and maybe more.
But I am not freaking, panicking, or even terribly bothered. I want this, but it is not the end of the world (probably, or at least not due to a house loan not closing, even this one). I want in, they want out, everyone wants their cut, nobody can or will spend what they do not have to see it happen. Still, the prospect of a rental for a year or three is no fun. I will have mere days to find a place if this falls through. Actually, I should start looking for a decent place to rent now... Ugh... Morz junk to research, negotiate, and such.
Well, have a good one. Bedtime hereabouts.
Weird about the wound.
.
.
It has never hurt. It hurt a bit when they were scrubbing it, but more some burning of the torn skin, not the wound itself. It did not hurt initially, it did not hurt shortly after, it has not hurt since. The nerves are fine, I guess. I can move my fingers and thumb well. I have simply felt no pain from it. And it is quite a rip. I often do not feel pain though, I think. I have some small belief that I am usually in a great deal of physical pain, running from moderate to high, but I simply have no sense of it.
Painkillers usually do nothing for me, except in a few rare and rather extreme situations. Well, except exacerbate my exhaustion. I wonder if the unfelt pain is part of why I am always tired? Yes, that is probably a part of it. Oh well, perhaps someday medicine or science will understand these things. They certainly do not at this time.
Well, good night.
.
It has never hurt. It hurt a bit when they were scrubbing it, but more some burning of the torn skin, not the wound itself. It did not hurt initially, it did not hurt shortly after, it has not hurt since. The nerves are fine, I guess. I can move my fingers and thumb well. I have simply felt no pain from it. And it is quite a rip. I often do not feel pain though, I think. I have some small belief that I am usually in a great deal of physical pain, running from moderate to high, but I simply have no sense of it.
Painkillers usually do nothing for me, except in a few rare and rather extreme situations. Well, except exacerbate my exhaustion. I wonder if the unfelt pain is part of why I am always tired? Yes, that is probably a part of it. Oh well, perhaps someday medicine or science will understand these things. They certainly do not at this time.
Well, good night.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
I am starting to doubt.
.
.
After talking with my broker today, I have heard nothing. I suggested that unless I get an itemized update on the requirements for the loan regarding house repairs and that is all positive, I would not put one more minute, dollar, our cup of gas in on the project. I have spoken with the owners, but I have to drag out every discussion about every issue. Without having the list there, I cannot remember every item on the list. And I often get very weak or simply no answers about some of the items I have asked about. If they have bailed on the deal, then we should just be honest and quit the deal.
As I said, I have heard nothing back since this noonish discussion. No email no phone no visit. I am guessing this is bad news. I am sure that someone has spoken to whoever by now. If they are making up their minds, it is a bit late. If they were not in this from the beginning, and I do not think they were, then this has been a huge waste of everybody's time. Perhaps they have just hit the wall. It is a rather harsh time to do that though, two feet from the finish line. I suppose it happens. That they love the house and do not really want to move does not help things.
I guess I simply have to wait for what I am expecting to be bad news. There goes $1,500, a bunch of paperwork, some actual work time, lost sleep, and such. I probably will just skip even looking until next year. Thank God I do not need the V.A.'s approval for rentals. I may look around a bit further afield when I go to rent though. I like Logan, but it is still city. I might find an affordable place a little more rural with access to more of the things I like. I guess time will tell.
.
After talking with my broker today, I have heard nothing. I suggested that unless I get an itemized update on the requirements for the loan regarding house repairs and that is all positive, I would not put one more minute, dollar, our cup of gas in on the project. I have spoken with the owners, but I have to drag out every discussion about every issue. Without having the list there, I cannot remember every item on the list. And I often get very weak or simply no answers about some of the items I have asked about. If they have bailed on the deal, then we should just be honest and quit the deal.
As I said, I have heard nothing back since this noonish discussion. No email no phone no visit. I am guessing this is bad news. I am sure that someone has spoken to whoever by now. If they are making up their minds, it is a bit late. If they were not in this from the beginning, and I do not think they were, then this has been a huge waste of everybody's time. Perhaps they have just hit the wall. It is a rather harsh time to do that though, two feet from the finish line. I suppose it happens. That they love the house and do not really want to move does not help things.
I guess I simply have to wait for what I am expecting to be bad news. There goes $1,500, a bunch of paperwork, some actual work time, lost sleep, and such. I probably will just skip even looking until next year. Thank God I do not need the V.A.'s approval for rentals. I may look around a bit further afield when I go to rent though. I like Logan, but it is still city. I might find an affordable place a little more rural with access to more of the things I like. I guess time will tell.
The stupid alarm clock is not working.
.
.
I am up in time to do a few tasks and make some decisions, but it is quite annoying to have an alarm fail. No, I am quite sure it failed. It has been doing that a lot lately and inexplicably. So, a replacement is on the list. Maybe two. I need to throw the failures away while I am at it. Some of them, even when you pay a little more money for them, are really cheesy these days. This one was a Timex, as if that matters or seems to anymore. Stupid cheap labor, design, and manufacture offers what we pay for. And no, the wit, logic, and wisdom of Confucius (by the way, he and the study of him is outlawed in China, along with Christianity and others) does not translate into manufacturing. A society whose language is based on poetry is not going to fair well in a modern age.
I will have to talk to the people who did the inspections. They keep forgetting to add in a prospective efficiency rating on the new equipment. I was not there, however, so that is partly my problem. Hitting the 9:00 one would not have worked with my stupid alarm, but the 13:00 one I missed was my fault. Could not get in gear for that one. I was not as motivated since I had already missed one.
Time to make a few calls, collect some quotes, and make a decision. Sardines and crackers for breakfast, but that should do nicely.
Have a great day.
.
I am up in time to do a few tasks and make some decisions, but it is quite annoying to have an alarm fail. No, I am quite sure it failed. It has been doing that a lot lately and inexplicably. So, a replacement is on the list. Maybe two. I need to throw the failures away while I am at it. Some of them, even when you pay a little more money for them, are really cheesy these days. This one was a Timex, as if that matters or seems to anymore. Stupid cheap labor, design, and manufacture offers what we pay for. And no, the wit, logic, and wisdom of Confucius (by the way, he and the study of him is outlawed in China, along with Christianity and others) does not translate into manufacturing. A society whose language is based on poetry is not going to fair well in a modern age.
I will have to talk to the people who did the inspections. They keep forgetting to add in a prospective efficiency rating on the new equipment. I was not there, however, so that is partly my problem. Hitting the 9:00 one would not have worked with my stupid alarm, but the 13:00 one I missed was my fault. Could not get in gear for that one. I was not as motivated since I had already missed one.
Time to make a few calls, collect some quotes, and make a decision. Sardines and crackers for breakfast, but that should do nicely.
Have a great day.
Monday, April 26, 2010
Painting.
.
.
It is more of a chore than I remember. Climbing the ladder, chipping, brushing, sanding, and then schlacking it on thick. I did what I can, if I have only done two windows. I will be seeing about renting scaffolding tomorrow. Barring that I will have to pay someone to do the eaves. I simply cannot do those with what tools I have. The scaffolding has to be light enough for one man to move and set up, cheap enough to be worth it, strong enough to hold 300 pounds (my weight and any tools), and yet fold down so as to fit in the back of my Xterra. Quite a bill, but it's either that or pay someone a fortune to do it, most likely.
I can tell the broker is running out of patience. Which is fine, he can join the rest of us. It feels more like trying to reel in a whale than to merely catch the trout it is. This should be easier and smoother. I think part of it is pure bureaucracy and part of it is a test of will... to ensure I really want to buy this home.
I spoke with the "better half" about the house today. It sounds like she regrets having to move. They really do like their place, but life is pulling them other places. I asked if there was anything that I should know about, privately. Anything I should be prepared to handle. She did not know of anything, she just merely wished that they could stay. I told her it is better to be moving into a loved house that will continue to be loved than to be moving into a house that was hated.
Her husband can and does talk, but it is very much not his strong suit. He is always thinking, though I do not think it is about what is in front of him. His mind is on work, projects, and such. People are sort of there, but not. Yep, I have to think he and D.C. could have a fine not chat. lols I am not sure if these types get along well, though I would guess so. And they probably communicate with far fewer words, once they have laid some basic ground works regarding meanings, depths of understanding, and rules of communication. Just a speculation, and assuming they do personally like each other and have some respect for one another. Otherwise they merely butt heads and disagree and digress?
I will be over to paint again tomorrow. I will find out about a rental then go over and do what I can do, either way. I would like to have it finished by Wednesday afternoon, for the sanity of all. We are due to get snow toward the end of this week, so time is critical. Well, that and the hope to have this close by Friday. What a load of work and hassle, but well worth it if it works. So goes any worthy effort? No risk, no pain, no cost, no value... Yeah, I think so.
Good night. Sleep well, I know I will.
.
It is more of a chore than I remember. Climbing the ladder, chipping, brushing, sanding, and then schlacking it on thick. I did what I can, if I have only done two windows. I will be seeing about renting scaffolding tomorrow. Barring that I will have to pay someone to do the eaves. I simply cannot do those with what tools I have. The scaffolding has to be light enough for one man to move and set up, cheap enough to be worth it, strong enough to hold 300 pounds (my weight and any tools), and yet fold down so as to fit in the back of my Xterra. Quite a bill, but it's either that or pay someone a fortune to do it, most likely.
I can tell the broker is running out of patience. Which is fine, he can join the rest of us. It feels more like trying to reel in a whale than to merely catch the trout it is. This should be easier and smoother. I think part of it is pure bureaucracy and part of it is a test of will... to ensure I really want to buy this home.
I spoke with the "better half" about the house today. It sounds like she regrets having to move. They really do like their place, but life is pulling them other places. I asked if there was anything that I should know about, privately. Anything I should be prepared to handle. She did not know of anything, she just merely wished that they could stay. I told her it is better to be moving into a loved house that will continue to be loved than to be moving into a house that was hated.
Her husband can and does talk, but it is very much not his strong suit. He is always thinking, though I do not think it is about what is in front of him. His mind is on work, projects, and such. People are sort of there, but not. Yep, I have to think he and D.C. could have a fine not chat. lols I am not sure if these types get along well, though I would guess so. And they probably communicate with far fewer words, once they have laid some basic ground works regarding meanings, depths of understanding, and rules of communication. Just a speculation, and assuming they do personally like each other and have some respect for one another. Otherwise they merely butt heads and disagree and digress?
I will be over to paint again tomorrow. I will find out about a rental then go over and do what I can do, either way. I would like to have it finished by Wednesday afternoon, for the sanity of all. We are due to get snow toward the end of this week, so time is critical. Well, that and the hope to have this close by Friday. What a load of work and hassle, but well worth it if it works. So goes any worthy effort? No risk, no pain, no cost, no value... Yeah, I think so.
Good night. Sleep well, I know I will.
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Hmm, that is odd.
.
.
I lowered my blood pressure to 130/83 today. Then dropped it to 90/63. It just took a sacrifice. Namely my hand, or parts of it. We went out shooting today. My friend brought along a .32 acp. He had sold it back when he drank and "needed" the money. He sold it to a friend, of sorts. He was able to buy it back now that he is, for the most part, on the mend. It is a very small pistol.
I had fired one magazine of 6, I think, bullets through the thing. About half way through the second magazine, the slide (it has now been determined) returned and bit well and solidly into my right hand. It sliced right in the crook between thumb and main hand part, anywhere from 1/4 to 1/2 inch deep and about 2 to 3 inches long, a little more if you count the slice as it first entered and then trailed off.
I went into shock, oddly. I became lightheaded, nauseous, and out of sorts. Quite odd, to be honest. I have never had such a bad reaction to so little pain. It still does not hurt. I took a bit of time to collect myself. After about a half an hour or so, I finally was able to drive to the hospital for stitches, four did the trick. When I first arrived, my blood pressure was right at 130/83. Someone came in and cleaned it out. Then there was paperwork. Then someone gave me a tetanus shot. Then I was given some local, and asked to irrigate it, which I did with no problem. I think it was the local that caused me to go back into shock, as irrigating, the cleaning, and the stitching really didn't bother me and there was no pain. That or the tetanus shot? Not sure, but my blood pressure dropped to 90/63.
Anyway, I went and had a hearty meal and feel much better, mostly. Nausea and sweating have come back a time or two since eating, so... I am disappointed in my autonomic responses. Sure, it was traumatic, physically. A gun slide moves very fast, and I think it did shock my system. But I have had much worse and done much better. Oddly I did not curse like a sailor. I used to do that when damaged a bit. I do not know, age, diabetes, high blood pressure, or the medicine I am on have made me quite weak. I might even say fragile. It sucks.
Well, have a good day!
.
I lowered my blood pressure to 130/83 today. Then dropped it to 90/63. It just took a sacrifice. Namely my hand, or parts of it. We went out shooting today. My friend brought along a .32 acp. He had sold it back when he drank and "needed" the money. He sold it to a friend, of sorts. He was able to buy it back now that he is, for the most part, on the mend. It is a very small pistol.
I had fired one magazine of 6, I think, bullets through the thing. About half way through the second magazine, the slide (it has now been determined) returned and bit well and solidly into my right hand. It sliced right in the crook between thumb and main hand part, anywhere from 1/4 to 1/2 inch deep and about 2 to 3 inches long, a little more if you count the slice as it first entered and then trailed off.
I went into shock, oddly. I became lightheaded, nauseous, and out of sorts. Quite odd, to be honest. I have never had such a bad reaction to so little pain. It still does not hurt. I took a bit of time to collect myself. After about a half an hour or so, I finally was able to drive to the hospital for stitches, four did the trick. When I first arrived, my blood pressure was right at 130/83. Someone came in and cleaned it out. Then there was paperwork. Then someone gave me a tetanus shot. Then I was given some local, and asked to irrigate it, which I did with no problem. I think it was the local that caused me to go back into shock, as irrigating, the cleaning, and the stitching really didn't bother me and there was no pain. That or the tetanus shot? Not sure, but my blood pressure dropped to 90/63.
Anyway, I went and had a hearty meal and feel much better, mostly. Nausea and sweating have come back a time or two since eating, so... I am disappointed in my autonomic responses. Sure, it was traumatic, physically. A gun slide moves very fast, and I think it did shock my system. But I have had much worse and done much better. Oddly I did not curse like a sailor. I used to do that when damaged a bit. I do not know, age, diabetes, high blood pressure, or the medicine I am on have made me quite weak. I might even say fragile. It sucks.
Well, have a good day!
Friday, April 23, 2010
Thursday, April 22, 2010
This and that, an inspection here and there, and the work goes on.
.
.
The structural engineer visited today. The place seems to be in rather good shape. Old, to be certain, but in better shape than many new houses. He pointed out areas which would cause concern, notably the absence of issues was what I saw. No cracks near doorways or windows, the plum being fit (except for one small area in the back porch, though it looks to have been built out of plum and it has not changed since). Everything was in order, though he was not 100% (what engineer works that way anyway?).
I had the first furnace man in for a quote today. It was more than I had hoped, but so be it. At $5350, I will have no extra money for a washer and dryer. Well, maybe a dryer? I may have to use some of the incentive to buy money toward one or both the washer and dryer. It looks like some work will need to be done beyond simple installation, but nothing unreasonable. Things just cost more than the last quotes I had heard from other situations.
The electrical inspection was supposed to be happening today. I have not heard how that went, though I suspect it went well. If it did, that is another thing off the list. The last thing remaining, untended due to weather, is painting the trim. My broker's company has asked for extra time, and to allow the closing to go forward, should the weather not be cooperative. It would be a stupid thing to hold up closing for a lackluster paint job rather than allowing us to do it right and close on time, in a timely fashion anyway.
Not much else is happening. I seem to be functioning much better, making appointments well, and such. So, perhaps it is not stress, or not all stress, being the reason I collapse as I do. Right now it is more complicated and higher stress than before. I am invested of time and money on a project which could still fail quite easily. I might be the cause of that failure. I still have a lot to do, so, like I said, not or not completely stress related.
I am exhausted, but in a good way. Sleep well, I know I will. Good night.
.
The structural engineer visited today. The place seems to be in rather good shape. Old, to be certain, but in better shape than many new houses. He pointed out areas which would cause concern, notably the absence of issues was what I saw. No cracks near doorways or windows, the plum being fit (except for one small area in the back porch, though it looks to have been built out of plum and it has not changed since). Everything was in order, though he was not 100% (what engineer works that way anyway?).
I had the first furnace man in for a quote today. It was more than I had hoped, but so be it. At $5350, I will have no extra money for a washer and dryer. Well, maybe a dryer? I may have to use some of the incentive to buy money toward one or both the washer and dryer. It looks like some work will need to be done beyond simple installation, but nothing unreasonable. Things just cost more than the last quotes I had heard from other situations.
The electrical inspection was supposed to be happening today. I have not heard how that went, though I suspect it went well. If it did, that is another thing off the list. The last thing remaining, untended due to weather, is painting the trim. My broker's company has asked for extra time, and to allow the closing to go forward, should the weather not be cooperative. It would be a stupid thing to hold up closing for a lackluster paint job rather than allowing us to do it right and close on time, in a timely fashion anyway.
Not much else is happening. I seem to be functioning much better, making appointments well, and such. So, perhaps it is not stress, or not all stress, being the reason I collapse as I do. Right now it is more complicated and higher stress than before. I am invested of time and money on a project which could still fail quite easily. I might be the cause of that failure. I still have a lot to do, so, like I said, not or not completely stress related.
I am exhausted, but in a good way. Sleep well, I know I will. Good night.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
I think, think, the deal has stabalized.
.
.
The current owners and myself both understand the score. He probably will not get a better price, or even a sale, any time soon. Passing up a sale, for him, would be uncomfortably unwise. For me, however, waiting would probably be in my best financial interest, at least for home cost. When one adds in potential interest rate spikes and a loss of the $8,000 tax credit, my lower cost may not actually result in a lower long term cost. With both of us, it is a rose... with thorns.
As for inspections, quotes, and repairs, those are ongoing. Waiting on people to get work done is not fun, but there is nothing any of us can do to get that done quicker. Of course, I was not told about the requirements for an efficiency package for the loan until way late in the game as well. But that is not quite as important. Tomorrow I will be calling several places to find out about this aspect. I called the owner today to discuss other matters, and he has agreed to allow me to give out his phone number to facilitate getting a quote on furnace replacement and central air installation.
I am back to a day schedule. I am also back on my initial doses of medicine. As best as I can be. I seem to be messing up on that a bit. I have been out of the house enough when the 'medicine time' alarm goes off. And without something to remind me, I simply forget.
I think all things will work out. Barring that, they will not and I will be a homeless dead guy. Ha! Whatever. I do not worry. I have, most likely, had worse and far worse than anything that would probably result from most of what could happen. Sure, I have not been crippled by a stroke, but I have been nearly as crippled by... something, and for over a decade, right after I became ill. Still am crippled, if I have come to better terms with it and learned to negotiate with that status a bit. Not bad for a dead guy!
Have a great life. Maybe a grapefruit? What... ever...
.
The current owners and myself both understand the score. He probably will not get a better price, or even a sale, any time soon. Passing up a sale, for him, would be uncomfortably unwise. For me, however, waiting would probably be in my best financial interest, at least for home cost. When one adds in potential interest rate spikes and a loss of the $8,000 tax credit, my lower cost may not actually result in a lower long term cost. With both of us, it is a rose... with thorns.
As for inspections, quotes, and repairs, those are ongoing. Waiting on people to get work done is not fun, but there is nothing any of us can do to get that done quicker. Of course, I was not told about the requirements for an efficiency package for the loan until way late in the game as well. But that is not quite as important. Tomorrow I will be calling several places to find out about this aspect. I called the owner today to discuss other matters, and he has agreed to allow me to give out his phone number to facilitate getting a quote on furnace replacement and central air installation.
I am back to a day schedule. I am also back on my initial doses of medicine. As best as I can be. I seem to be messing up on that a bit. I have been out of the house enough when the 'medicine time' alarm goes off. And without something to remind me, I simply forget.
I think all things will work out. Barring that, they will not and I will be a homeless dead guy. Ha! Whatever. I do not worry. I have, most likely, had worse and far worse than anything that would probably result from most of what could happen. Sure, I have not been crippled by a stroke, but I have been nearly as crippled by... something, and for over a decade, right after I became ill. Still am crippled, if I have come to better terms with it and learned to negotiate with that status a bit. Not bad for a dead guy!
Have a great life. Maybe a grapefruit? What... ever...
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
The thing is still chugging along.
.
.
More money. Of course. The next big expense, for me, is the fees, expenses, and travel to have an engineer inspect the foundation (mostly the earth to structure aspect) of the house. That will be between $300 and $500. I will then have $1200 to $1500 tied up in a house I may not end up being able to buy. How much the owners have put in I can only guess. The thing about their investment is that it will pay for itself, potentially, in an easier future sale (if they comply fully), probably. I still need to get an estimate regarding the cost of installing a new furnace, and adding central air, and projected cost savings... from three sources. I do not think this will be an expense, as I will be getting these as prospective work quotes from installers. However, I will not hold my breath on that.
I have, finally, received contact information so that I might speak with the seller. I have offered my services in order to facilitate the sale. He suggested that there is paint and painting to be done. Trim, it is what he has suggested. So, today is the day though when I start is fairly lax. And a good thing it is lax, as I had almost forgotten about another event today. Remember the neighbor lady? Yeah, well, last Saturday while I had friends over (drinking beer on the patio no less...), she arrived home from work and decided to stop over and talk for a short bit. She thought Tuesday, today, around noon or 13:00 would be a good time for her to do something.
I had a few things in mind, and asked if she had a preference. She said she liked it all, and that it was up to me. So, that is the way of it. I have a few things brewing. At first I thought a local bread and soup place, for lunch, might be the way to go. Then maybe a movie. But the weather has been wonderful and I have not been out in some time. I have revised my itinerary. I think, instead, a small collection of fried chicken (not from KFC, perhaps from one of the local stores), coleslaw, perhaps mashed potatoes and gravy -NO- potato salad, and something to drink would be the trick. There are several parks in town, or up Logan Canyon. Then, if there is time and interest, a movie. Something to get me, and probably her, out of our normal routine. It offers some privacy without being completely secluded. And there is space and time for discussion.
Oh, it all sounds so pat. But that is not what it is about. It was not merely designed, it was considered and the reasons and and such where created a bit during and somewhat after the final social crafting was completed. I will have to see what goes on to know more. I will be honest, this is merely social. I am looking for a female sidekick, not a lover, not a wife, in this woman. Though it is not a bad thing, it is not more. Friends. That is the way of it.
After that, I will need to hurry, dress down a bit, and get over to do some painting. I may grab a scraper on my way out, perhaps some sandpaper too. I am not sure what grit would be best, though I think course would be enough. I suspect someone at the hardware store might be able to offer some guidance as well. If I do work, I like to do it as well as I am able, to arrive prepared, and then to see the task completed. To that end, I will be working diligently until that, and any other tasks offered within my means, are completed.
If this does not go through, the house sale, I will simply have to find a cheap place to stay and stock up on cash. In the long run, it might be better. Prices will fall, so long as the anti-business and anti-capitalist (among other things) sentiments are being spewed from Washington. Even if or when that is ended, I suspect it will take many years for an actual recovery. Though with the way Republicans are now, I am not sure recovery is possible. We may simply be in the dying days of the last Superpower before international socialism brings bane to all. In which case, no plan is good. Nothing will be owned, not be peasants anyway. But, that is still getting the horse before the cart in a few too many ways. Besides, planning must take place regardless of the situation one finds themselves in. Either act or re-act. I prefer to act, re-acting is already crisis management. Acting, in an informed manner, can be a good way of avoiding crisis. Bah!
Have a great day.
.
More money. Of course. The next big expense, for me, is the fees, expenses, and travel to have an engineer inspect the foundation (mostly the earth to structure aspect) of the house. That will be between $300 and $500. I will then have $1200 to $1500 tied up in a house I may not end up being able to buy. How much the owners have put in I can only guess. The thing about their investment is that it will pay for itself, potentially, in an easier future sale (if they comply fully), probably. I still need to get an estimate regarding the cost of installing a new furnace, and adding central air, and projected cost savings... from three sources. I do not think this will be an expense, as I will be getting these as prospective work quotes from installers. However, I will not hold my breath on that.
I have, finally, received contact information so that I might speak with the seller. I have offered my services in order to facilitate the sale. He suggested that there is paint and painting to be done. Trim, it is what he has suggested. So, today is the day though when I start is fairly lax. And a good thing it is lax, as I had almost forgotten about another event today. Remember the neighbor lady? Yeah, well, last Saturday while I had friends over (drinking beer on the patio no less...), she arrived home from work and decided to stop over and talk for a short bit. She thought Tuesday, today, around noon or 13:00 would be a good time for her to do something.
I had a few things in mind, and asked if she had a preference. She said she liked it all, and that it was up to me. So, that is the way of it. I have a few things brewing. At first I thought a local bread and soup place, for lunch, might be the way to go. Then maybe a movie. But the weather has been wonderful and I have not been out in some time. I have revised my itinerary. I think, instead, a small collection of fried chicken (not from KFC, perhaps from one of the local stores), coleslaw, perhaps mashed potatoes and gravy -NO- potato salad, and something to drink would be the trick. There are several parks in town, or up Logan Canyon. Then, if there is time and interest, a movie. Something to get me, and probably her, out of our normal routine. It offers some privacy without being completely secluded. And there is space and time for discussion.
Oh, it all sounds so pat. But that is not what it is about. It was not merely designed, it was considered and the reasons and and such where created a bit during and somewhat after the final social crafting was completed. I will have to see what goes on to know more. I will be honest, this is merely social. I am looking for a female sidekick, not a lover, not a wife, in this woman. Though it is not a bad thing, it is not more. Friends. That is the way of it.
After that, I will need to hurry, dress down a bit, and get over to do some painting. I may grab a scraper on my way out, perhaps some sandpaper too. I am not sure what grit would be best, though I think course would be enough. I suspect someone at the hardware store might be able to offer some guidance as well. If I do work, I like to do it as well as I am able, to arrive prepared, and then to see the task completed. To that end, I will be working diligently until that, and any other tasks offered within my means, are completed.
If this does not go through, the house sale, I will simply have to find a cheap place to stay and stock up on cash. In the long run, it might be better. Prices will fall, so long as the anti-business and anti-capitalist (among other things) sentiments are being spewed from Washington. Even if or when that is ended, I suspect it will take many years for an actual recovery. Though with the way Republicans are now, I am not sure recovery is possible. We may simply be in the dying days of the last Superpower before international socialism brings bane to all. In which case, no plan is good. Nothing will be owned, not be peasants anyway. But, that is still getting the horse before the cart in a few too many ways. Besides, planning must take place regardless of the situation one finds themselves in. Either act or re-act. I prefer to act, re-acting is already crisis management. Acting, in an informed manner, can be a good way of avoiding crisis. Bah!
Have a great day.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Well, we will see.
.
.
After a ton of back and forth, more signatures, dates, and initials, more paperwork, more legwork and phone calls, I [think] the final package has been sent to the lender. The V.A. is more than picky. Which is fine, it is a good resource, I am just out of shape and date for this much of that. The agreement I made with the sellers has been overwritten by the demands of the V.A. Probably in my favor, though that is somewhat questionable.
I understand the V.A. wanting the electrical in prime, functional, and coded order. So do I. But peeling paint? Doh! That was one of my hoped for projects! There were some other things they required, and which I agree with, but some of it might be... cost prohibitive for the seller. They agreed to $500 in necessary repairs. Anything above that goes to the cost of the house. However, because of the new appraisal and the V.A.'s limitations on loans regarding appraised value, that only gives the owners $2000 plus the $500 in which to make the required amends.
It is still all up in the air. We might find out about the paperwork tomorrow. When we will find out about the seller's response to the V.A.'s demands is anyone's guess. What a mess! I know, if I am alive and still willing, I hope to "move up" in 5 or 10 years. I will definitely be more prepared next time. Needed documents now on hand will be going into a lockbox, extra material will be kept on hand, and notes will be added to the papers by which I might guide my future self and any prospective sellers for an advanced sale situation.
Sleep has either been extremely elusive or unavoidable and deep. I know it is stress. I know it will pass.
Tomorrow I see the doctor's assistant. A 9:30 appointment is going to be tough. I need to be up and out by 7:00, 8:00 at the absolute minimum. I am about to go try to sleep so as not to miss my appointment. I bet it is a fasting appointment too, though that was not stated. So, no midnight snack. I do not think tomorrow will be fun at the clinic. What I am going to tell them they are not going to like. But they simply left me no choice. As I said before, I am going back to the original doses of things and not a pill more or less. If they believe that is reason to sever the relationship, that is the way it must be. If nothing else, I finally made it back to splenda diet coke. Much better than daily 6 to 12 packs of regular. Odd though, I did not gain weight on regular soda nor lose it when I switched.
Well, time to rest. I think I will speak with Father before I sleep. I will not ask Him for favor in this, that, or the other things. I will merely ask that He remembers that I love Him and that His will be done and if it be done through me, the better. He has my keys. I may ask Him for strength and guidance in dealing with whatever may happen too. Yeah, He might already know but it does not hurt to actually hear it. Be well and be loved. You are here if you choose it, and perhaps even if you do not. Good night!
.
After a ton of back and forth, more signatures, dates, and initials, more paperwork, more legwork and phone calls, I [think] the final package has been sent to the lender. The V.A. is more than picky. Which is fine, it is a good resource, I am just out of shape and date for this much of that. The agreement I made with the sellers has been overwritten by the demands of the V.A. Probably in my favor, though that is somewhat questionable.
I understand the V.A. wanting the electrical in prime, functional, and coded order. So do I. But peeling paint? Doh! That was one of my hoped for projects! There were some other things they required, and which I agree with, but some of it might be... cost prohibitive for the seller. They agreed to $500 in necessary repairs. Anything above that goes to the cost of the house. However, because of the new appraisal and the V.A.'s limitations on loans regarding appraised value, that only gives the owners $2000 plus the $500 in which to make the required amends.
It is still all up in the air. We might find out about the paperwork tomorrow. When we will find out about the seller's response to the V.A.'s demands is anyone's guess. What a mess! I know, if I am alive and still willing, I hope to "move up" in 5 or 10 years. I will definitely be more prepared next time. Needed documents now on hand will be going into a lockbox, extra material will be kept on hand, and notes will be added to the papers by which I might guide my future self and any prospective sellers for an advanced sale situation.
Sleep has either been extremely elusive or unavoidable and deep. I know it is stress. I know it will pass.
Tomorrow I see the doctor's assistant. A 9:30 appointment is going to be tough. I need to be up and out by 7:00, 8:00 at the absolute minimum. I am about to go try to sleep so as not to miss my appointment. I bet it is a fasting appointment too, though that was not stated. So, no midnight snack. I do not think tomorrow will be fun at the clinic. What I am going to tell them they are not going to like. But they simply left me no choice. As I said before, I am going back to the original doses of things and not a pill more or less. If they believe that is reason to sever the relationship, that is the way it must be. If nothing else, I finally made it back to splenda diet coke. Much better than daily 6 to 12 packs of regular. Odd though, I did not gain weight on regular soda nor lose it when I switched.
Well, time to rest. I think I will speak with Father before I sleep. I will not ask Him for favor in this, that, or the other things. I will merely ask that He remembers that I love Him and that His will be done and if it be done through me, the better. He has my keys. I may ask Him for strength and guidance in dealing with whatever may happen too. Yeah, He might already know but it does not hurt to actually hear it. Be well and be loved. You are here if you choose it, and perhaps even if you do not. Good night!
Friday, April 9, 2010
Today is a big day.
.
.
I need to complete a number of tasks today. All related to the house. Well, house for now, home to be. I need to go through a pile of paperwork, signing, dating, or putting my initials in, where I missed when filling out my initial application. What might reasonably be called slashing the t's and dotting the i's. As well, I need to get information to the lender regarding my DD-214. I believe they will be able to download and print it. I will be receiving a copy in the mail soon, but that is mine and how long that will take to actually arrive is anyone's guess. Since I have the capacity to download it, I believe I will be able to share that information and get this done.
While I was up, still not sleeping days, I was able to cook a large pot of beans and a large chunk of ham. It came out quite nice. I made a large mistake though, soaking way too many beans. I was only able to cook half of them so as to include the ham. I will have to put what is cooked in a container, along with the ham, and then cook the last half of the beans. At least it will give me something to do while I try to stay up to complete the other tasks on my list.
All the work, to date, seems to be taking forever. And yet, and in some other aspect of reality, it seems to be going so very fast. The juxtaposed notion of time and placement is almost nauseating. It is through this nether that all must pass, at some points in their life. No matter how many support us up to these points, in them we are all alone and naked. So be it. I do fear, I do not, however, allow that fear to defeat me. Even weakened and on my knees, I bow to none but God. I have found the power in weakness. It the stability of the frozen. Only being shattered can undo that and I am less fragile in my frozen state than most.
The time is nearing to be a land and home owner. I fear it, I do. Like fatherhood, manhood, civility, and war, the prices, rewards, complications, and such cannot be foreseen. It is a new frontier.
My friend and myself went to Clash of the Titans the other night. Actually, I enjoyed it immensely! Further, there seem to be some decent (if quite fictionalized) combat movies coming out which I might be able to stomach. I have no bother watching the horrors of war and battle and fighting, I only find horror in the indignant manner in which Hollywood often downrates our men, our cause, and our purpose. They spit in our faces, often, like the stinking hippies of the 70's. And, should I ever have the power, I would destroy them all, down to the last camera man. Anyway... Something I came away from watching the movie was that we each lead epic lives. Things we have done, people we have known, contests we have involved ourselves in... From birth to death we have struggled with others, with the world, with ourselves, and even with God! We cannot win, we will die. We each know this. And yet we struggle on in relentless pursuit of some higher calling, order, way.
Just some thoughts...
.
I need to complete a number of tasks today. All related to the house. Well, house for now, home to be. I need to go through a pile of paperwork, signing, dating, or putting my initials in, where I missed when filling out my initial application. What might reasonably be called slashing the t's and dotting the i's. As well, I need to get information to the lender regarding my DD-214. I believe they will be able to download and print it. I will be receiving a copy in the mail soon, but that is mine and how long that will take to actually arrive is anyone's guess. Since I have the capacity to download it, I believe I will be able to share that information and get this done.
While I was up, still not sleeping days, I was able to cook a large pot of beans and a large chunk of ham. It came out quite nice. I made a large mistake though, soaking way too many beans. I was only able to cook half of them so as to include the ham. I will have to put what is cooked in a container, along with the ham, and then cook the last half of the beans. At least it will give me something to do while I try to stay up to complete the other tasks on my list.
All the work, to date, seems to be taking forever. And yet, and in some other aspect of reality, it seems to be going so very fast. The juxtaposed notion of time and placement is almost nauseating. It is through this nether that all must pass, at some points in their life. No matter how many support us up to these points, in them we are all alone and naked. So be it. I do fear, I do not, however, allow that fear to defeat me. Even weakened and on my knees, I bow to none but God. I have found the power in weakness. It the stability of the frozen. Only being shattered can undo that and I am less fragile in my frozen state than most.
The time is nearing to be a land and home owner. I fear it, I do. Like fatherhood, manhood, civility, and war, the prices, rewards, complications, and such cannot be foreseen. It is a new frontier.
My friend and myself went to Clash of the Titans the other night. Actually, I enjoyed it immensely! Further, there seem to be some decent (if quite fictionalized) combat movies coming out which I might be able to stomach. I have no bother watching the horrors of war and battle and fighting, I only find horror in the indignant manner in which Hollywood often downrates our men, our cause, and our purpose. They spit in our faces, often, like the stinking hippies of the 70's. And, should I ever have the power, I would destroy them all, down to the last camera man. Anyway... Something I came away from watching the movie was that we each lead epic lives. Things we have done, people we have known, contests we have involved ourselves in... From birth to death we have struggled with others, with the world, with ourselves, and even with God! We cannot win, we will die. We each know this. And yet we struggle on in relentless pursuit of some higher calling, order, way.
Just some thoughts...
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
It could happen.
.
.
I just finished applying for my DD-214. A couple hours later, java script running on my machine (somehow, with some twisting, turning, and updating as it was required to even order my DD-214), and a hundred and a quarter dollars shy, the task is as done as I can do it. My agent submitted a work order to the owners, which they can refuse in whole or part. There were some minor (and to my mind, major) issues with the electrical. I have offered a proposition to my agent, which he has tried to reject outright but instead has put on hold until we hear back from the current owners. We should be receiving something back from them by 5 pm today. Lord what a job getting into debt is.
Everything is moving forward, in a limping staggering messy fashion. And I am trying to stay on task. Actually, for the condition I am in, for what is going on around me, and for all else, I am doing well. Tucked in here in my great big shell, I am emotionally quite settled. I am more perturbed that the little secret of my failings is being exposed more than that things are problematic because of my failings. I am used to being ill, and merely take note, share that when and if it is needed, and go on my merry way. I do feel a little bad for those trying to help. I do, though, feel that they are on-board, and at least seem sympathetic. I do not second guess things anymore, like the depth or reality of what I sense. It is too much work to doubt more than what I already doubt!
No, it is fine. I am fine. The project will either work or it will not. I will be moving into my own house soon or I will be finding an apartment. That is that. It is in God's hands in any case, and He and the way He has developed do have purpose. Let it be. Let that purpose be and live through it. Trust me, you can survive anything... even death.
Be well my fellow world warriors. The world is out to kill you, and it will, but not today. Probably.
.
I just finished applying for my DD-214. A couple hours later, java script running on my machine (somehow, with some twisting, turning, and updating as it was required to even order my DD-214), and a hundred and a quarter dollars shy, the task is as done as I can do it. My agent submitted a work order to the owners, which they can refuse in whole or part. There were some minor (and to my mind, major) issues with the electrical. I have offered a proposition to my agent, which he has tried to reject outright but instead has put on hold until we hear back from the current owners. We should be receiving something back from them by 5 pm today. Lord what a job getting into debt is.
Everything is moving forward, in a limping staggering messy fashion. And I am trying to stay on task. Actually, for the condition I am in, for what is going on around me, and for all else, I am doing well. Tucked in here in my great big shell, I am emotionally quite settled. I am more perturbed that the little secret of my failings is being exposed more than that things are problematic because of my failings. I am used to being ill, and merely take note, share that when and if it is needed, and go on my merry way. I do feel a little bad for those trying to help. I do, though, feel that they are on-board, and at least seem sympathetic. I do not second guess things anymore, like the depth or reality of what I sense. It is too much work to doubt more than what I already doubt!
No, it is fine. I am fine. The project will either work or it will not. I will be moving into my own house soon or I will be finding an apartment. That is that. It is in God's hands in any case, and He and the way He has developed do have purpose. Let it be. Let that purpose be and live through it. Trust me, you can survive anything... even death.
Be well my fellow world warriors. The world is out to kill you, and it will, but not today. Probably.
Monday, March 29, 2010
Still trying!
.
.
Okay, beat upon and spat at, but I keep chugging away. Well, okay, not beat upon. Oh, and, perhaps not spat at either. But, that is not the point!
I am doing what I can. I am still flagging and needing help, and to some degree getting it. At least as far as buying the house goes. I still need to apply for my DD-214. Why I am having such difficulty doing so, I cannot tell. Tomorrow folks, tomorrow. The bid, as I said, has been accepted. The inspection will happen this Wednesday, and I will need to be there to speak with him after he finishes his work. Which I will do. I might take my friend along so we can go shooting afterward. Two birds with one shot, that is how I like it. Lazy or efficient, call me what you will. It is good when it works. Otherwise, not. :p
I did dishes earlier today, put in a load of laundry and will be reloading laundry and unloading the dishwasher. Taking out the trash will be one of my last tasks today. The trash and recycling have been things I have been keeping up on, thankfully. Oh, mopped the bathroom floor again today and gave it a second whack. I will do it one more time, and downstairs, then use a regular cleaner, rinse, and then put on some wax. The mopping finish will be done tomorrow. The rest will be done tonight.
I am still not right, and it is brutal to push through, but I think I can get to it. Fighting from way down is much more difficult than fighting from simple lethargy.
I have plans for my house. First thing, as I have said, is gardening. I will probably keep it simple this year. A few rows for various vegetables, tomatoes, and cucumbers. Depending on how it goes, next year I will expand the garden. My mother should be able to help me stock up on canning needs, make a plan for canning tomatoes, and give gardening advice, along with helping me set up house. I should have her write notes on how to do things, as a reference.
As well, late last week, I asked the neighbor lady out. She was a bit taken aback, but not really. Women are funny that way. She was either surprised I did what she wanted or did not want me to do. *laughing* Yeah, that is how I think the mind of women works. I think... As well, I asked about another woman. I was told she had a boyfriend. I asked if it was serious. I do not think the woman I was discussing this with liked my query. Still, I will know more if I happen to bump into her before long. Bah! If he is not going to marry her, unless she is not looking for that, then she is open game in my book. Not that I would marry either of these women, but there is no reason not to enjoy some female companionship. Who knows though. These women types will sneak up on you!
Well, that is my life in a tidy little snapshot. Tough but tenderizing as I write. Be well!
.
Okay, beat upon and spat at, but I keep chugging away. Well, okay, not beat upon. Oh, and, perhaps not spat at either. But, that is not the point!
I am doing what I can. I am still flagging and needing help, and to some degree getting it. At least as far as buying the house goes. I still need to apply for my DD-214. Why I am having such difficulty doing so, I cannot tell. Tomorrow folks, tomorrow. The bid, as I said, has been accepted. The inspection will happen this Wednesday, and I will need to be there to speak with him after he finishes his work. Which I will do. I might take my friend along so we can go shooting afterward. Two birds with one shot, that is how I like it. Lazy or efficient, call me what you will. It is good when it works. Otherwise, not. :p
I did dishes earlier today, put in a load of laundry and will be reloading laundry and unloading the dishwasher. Taking out the trash will be one of my last tasks today. The trash and recycling have been things I have been keeping up on, thankfully. Oh, mopped the bathroom floor again today and gave it a second whack. I will do it one more time, and downstairs, then use a regular cleaner, rinse, and then put on some wax. The mopping finish will be done tomorrow. The rest will be done tonight.
I am still not right, and it is brutal to push through, but I think I can get to it. Fighting from way down is much more difficult than fighting from simple lethargy.
I have plans for my house. First thing, as I have said, is gardening. I will probably keep it simple this year. A few rows for various vegetables, tomatoes, and cucumbers. Depending on how it goes, next year I will expand the garden. My mother should be able to help me stock up on canning needs, make a plan for canning tomatoes, and give gardening advice, along with helping me set up house. I should have her write notes on how to do things, as a reference.
As well, late last week, I asked the neighbor lady out. She was a bit taken aback, but not really. Women are funny that way. She was either surprised I did what she wanted or did not want me to do. *laughing* Yeah, that is how I think the mind of women works. I think... As well, I asked about another woman. I was told she had a boyfriend. I asked if it was serious. I do not think the woman I was discussing this with liked my query. Still, I will know more if I happen to bump into her before long. Bah! If he is not going to marry her, unless she is not looking for that, then she is open game in my book. Not that I would marry either of these women, but there is no reason not to enjoy some female companionship. Who knows though. These women types will sneak up on you!
Well, that is my life in a tidy little snapshot. Tough but tenderizing as I write. Be well!
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Here is the deal...
.
.
I have not been lazy on purpose. They have increased my medicine beyond the point of my being able to function without increasing the ritalin. Now, I carried on as well as I could. I tried this and that to get beyond it, and that only after realizing, again, my life had become a train wreck. So, realizing after a couple of weeks or more that I was off the tracks and I think the engine had even stopped, and then fighting for the last week or two to right things, I realized there was no way to salvage the situation on my own. So, I place a call to my doc's office, suggested this situation was untenable, and asked that she add more ritalin. Of course, I am already in socialized medicine, as you soon will be. (Cannot say I did not warn you all, on many occasions). So, I get a message back from one of her flunkies. He says she says no. She says if I control my diabetes, I will feel better.
Ok, fuck her. First, I have not been eating or drinking sugar since I went back on medicine. Second, I have not been eating more than 20 ounces of food a day, often less, because I am incapacitated. Fuck her and diabetes. Pardon the French, or do not, not my call. Anyway, diabetes could not be playing a role in this. I thought about flushing the medicine and just walking away, again. Instead, I have decided to cut back the medicine to the point I could take it with the amount of ritalin I am allowed here, and that will have to do. Going back to soda would be foolish, and that little amount was working on the high blood pressure to some extent. I could still function in a minor fashion and it was better than simply consuming soda and waiting for a quick and harsh lesson in life or death.
Now, to hope I can get back on track with things in a day or two. I hope the fog lifts quickly enough that I can get on track with some of the housing business at hand. This is quite frustrating. I hope those who voted for the cock suckers who just gave you the same medical care I receive enjoy it every bit as much as I do. If so, at least your version will be eradicated as fast as the next election.
Good day.
.
I have not been lazy on purpose. They have increased my medicine beyond the point of my being able to function without increasing the ritalin. Now, I carried on as well as I could. I tried this and that to get beyond it, and that only after realizing, again, my life had become a train wreck. So, realizing after a couple of weeks or more that I was off the tracks and I think the engine had even stopped, and then fighting for the last week or two to right things, I realized there was no way to salvage the situation on my own. So, I place a call to my doc's office, suggested this situation was untenable, and asked that she add more ritalin. Of course, I am already in socialized medicine, as you soon will be. (Cannot say I did not warn you all, on many occasions). So, I get a message back from one of her flunkies. He says she says no. She says if I control my diabetes, I will feel better.
Ok, fuck her. First, I have not been eating or drinking sugar since I went back on medicine. Second, I have not been eating more than 20 ounces of food a day, often less, because I am incapacitated. Fuck her and diabetes. Pardon the French, or do not, not my call. Anyway, diabetes could not be playing a role in this. I thought about flushing the medicine and just walking away, again. Instead, I have decided to cut back the medicine to the point I could take it with the amount of ritalin I am allowed here, and that will have to do. Going back to soda would be foolish, and that little amount was working on the high blood pressure to some extent. I could still function in a minor fashion and it was better than simply consuming soda and waiting for a quick and harsh lesson in life or death.
Now, to hope I can get back on track with things in a day or two. I hope the fog lifts quickly enough that I can get on track with some of the housing business at hand. This is quite frustrating. I hope those who voted for the cock suckers who just gave you the same medical care I receive enjoy it every bit as much as I do. If so, at least your version will be eradicated as fast as the next election.
Good day.
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