A very good dinner.

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The initial plan, not mine, was food at 13:00.  We ate an hour or two later.  As you know, if you know me, time is irrelevant.  Events occur when they do, because of course they do.  Make all the plans you like.  Reality perfits.  Your plans are great, until they aren't.  Which usually means as soon as your plans meet reality, physics, limits, time, and such.  Mother doesn't agree, but that is her problem.  Reallity and myself are happy to just be.

A very good meal.  I would have roasted the bird longer.  Mom decided it was time.  The thermometer agreed with her, even so I would have let it go for another half hour to more like hour.  She ate it, without fuss, but put the remnants back in the oven to finish.  Not terrible, or even raw.  But, medium rare.  I like it that way, on to medium well.  She not so much.

Happy Thanksgiving!

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We finished shopping yesterday.  We had the goose, and most ingredients.  With medical appointments in Ogden, work on the house, exhaustion, and else, getting to the store, for final ingredients, wasn't possible, until it was required.

I'll tell you, I hate shopping the day before a holiday.  Any holiday.  Anywhere.  On the good side, in a mostly white area, at least the worst I face is crowded aisles, slightly reckless folk (though apologetic, usually, in incidents), and some grumpy behavior.  The boons have learned not to ape in these areas, so far.

Almost all of it.

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One window, built to the wrong spec of what was ordered, is being rebuilt.  For now there is just a piece of wood in the space.  It is all ready, the installation should be fast.  They said to give the bath twenty four hours for calking to set, I'd like to give it another day, forty eight hours.  If longer, for me.  With the limit of a fifty gallon tank, not enough hot water to fill the thing to hot.  Maybe not even warm.

Now, rest, and sleep.  I was beginning to screech, physically, under the efforts.  Too little sleep, even rest.  Too much noise, when trying to sleep, constant waking, for questions, and a lot of work.  Before and even between contracted work.  My ears are ringing from the levels of stress and agitation.

Two, and waking up.

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I have been awake since midnight.  Reading, listening, deciding if I should get up or try to sleep a bit more.  Cold.  Not... frigid?  Mostly.  But not able to warm enough to sleep well.  And... feeling good, generally, otherwise.  So might as well get up.

I want to take a shower first thing.  They say they can replace the tub in one day.  Promises, promises.  Then clear out the bathroom... the built-in drawers, but the cabinets too, just to be sure.  As well, clear the room generally.  Other than that, no work today.

A bit.

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I was awake at five, or so.  Having gone to bed around 20:30.  Never got Jasmine for a walk, but did get her out early.  Fed the cats, made my coffee, set up coffee for mom, then gamed.

Mom woke around nine?  She slept well.  Pushy, still, today.  Some of which is fine.  Still have some things to do for the walk-in tub install tomorow.  But this morning it was mostly getting drapes and sheers up.

Dodging bullets.

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That activity seems to be a family affair.

After all the candy, fruit, and other carby food eaten from October twenty seventh to the tenth, then off and on until even yesterday, really, I decided it was time to see the damages by checking blood sugar.  A fasting draw, which, when I go bad, is the worst but most honest number.  Fasting blood sugar is brutally honest, unforgiving, uncompromising.

Closing in.

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The last of the pushes, for external causes, is nearing completion.  The windows are going in Saturday.  The new tub is going in Monday.  More needs to be done.  Some tomorrow, some Saturday, maybe a bit Sunday.

Things, more things, to be moved.  A few drawers to be emptied, in the bathroom.  As they will most likely be working behind the built-in cabinetry.  So much has already been done.  But that last mile is sometimes the hardest.

Awake for a bit.

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Water was already tended.  Though I needed to refill the reservoir.  A keto bread pudding mother recently made was crumbled, heated, then dosed with cream.  No coffee, just water tonight.  Enough left so when she woke, I set her up with the last portion.  She liked how I did it.

I took Jasmine for a bit longer of a walk.  New territory.  I can see the tracks someone is making through my back acre, into one of my outbuildings, and to another neighboring field.  A pretty regular path.  Surprised, Jasmine both tinkled and pooped.  All good, just that was the first time she has done a number two, let alone twice.  Being on the field, I don't mind, this time.  Will start taking bags to get that, from now on.  Even on my land, but definitely on other people's proprty, even on public spaces... of course.

To the doctor, finally.

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After the hospital failed to do renal checks, twice in a row, at the blood draws, and then the V.A. approved the local visits... but decided to not send the approvals causing a third failed visit, I finally got in.

Not good news.  My kidmeys are down to 10%.  From 15%, which is down from 19% earlier this year.  On the good side, my bp was low enough, right in the office, to reduce medicine.  The only other request was to reduce, for now, magnesium... as a supplement.

Awake for just a bit.

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Too cool.  Too warm.  For worry.  Or even just because I feel just right, warm enough but not too warm, not even hungry or thirsty.  I just... wake, when I wake, for good or no reason.  Tonight?  I think I was beginning to overheat.

Down I went.  I took Jasmine out for a late walk.  Gamed a bit.  Plugged the router back in, it still isn't working.

A few things.

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Received a letter, yesterday.  Something about my bank, and lapsing coverage?  No... I didn't call the number offered.  Suspicious, for many reasons.  I called my bank.

At first, the woman I was speaking with, while polite and diplomatic, thought I was wasting her time.  After a hold and review?  Not so much.  They had nothing to do with the notice.  Still, it perturbed my sleep.  Most likely my former insurer, the one that tried to triple my insurance... quadruple it?  After playing games about insuring my house, forcing repairs, and else.

Up late.

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If after a long sleep through the day.  Calls and doorbells, barking and else, kept disturbing my sleep.  I ignored, turned off the phone, and slept.  I slept as long as I could.  Well, and warmly.

Up for supper.  Though I woke at noon, for a bit.  Had to, as the worker's boss visited to get me to sign off on the job.  I did a few things for mom.  But she was trying to badger more work out of me than I could do.  Both earlier and later.

Pretty much done.

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The siding, and portion of trim to be added, painted, is done.  Just two boxes, from trim, to be installed.  Along with putting two lights in them.  For now.  In time I will install new lights.  Even the doorbell is on and working.  

Sure, I need more, new, lights, hardware for a hatch, new house numbers, a few electrical boxes too.  They reinstalled the old one, up front.  But it needs replaced.  The outlet in back is just a conduit end box, so will need to be sorted whole.

Working on things.

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With constructikn ongoing, I have been crashing more than usual.  The sounds, and having people hereabouts, causes massive stress.  And that flattens me.  Even so, I try to get to things as and when I can.

Mom is pushing, herself.  Twisted her knee this afternoon.  Badly.  Can still move, but even more slowly and with more pain.  Which makes her, sometimes, obscenely pushy.  I won't bark.  I understand fully.  Confussion from pain, the seeming control barking orders seems to offer, and forgetting you had just given the same list(s) due to pain memory loss... I get that.  But me already being stressed?  I can't take it.  So I just melt back upstairs, and rest or sleep as possible.

Still cold.

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To the bone, chilled.  No good solid way to escape it.  Not upstairs, here.  I do get warm enough downstairs, after a bit.  Warm enough, not... as warm as I would like.  That sit-in tub would be good, if they would ever get it in.  Late.

I am, again, going to try mesh base layering.  Under my warmer pajamas.  Not absolutely sure it will work.  Just... will try.  As well, back to various weights of merino wool base layers, over the mesh, under the pj's, if needed.  Will see.

A bit of work.  Two small sessions.  Just a bit of sorting, mostly hauling.  And... not in the direction I had planned.  If my intended direction, as it turned out, wasn't the right way.  I had simply mistaken priorities.

Stomach ache.

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Too much candy!  On the good side, I gave away what little remained.  Today.  But, ate half a dozen bars yesterday?  Nearly as many, or more since October 28th?  Or so.  Oh, so glad, and sad, to see them go.  Back to nearly pure carnivore.  No additives of questionable sorts.  No veggies save freeh salad greens.  With only carnivore approved dressings.  That won't help today, or even tomorrow.  But, in time, it will help.

Jasmine won't quit barking.  So... muzzled.  I wasn't sure that would keep her quiet.  Thought it was just for preventing biting.  But I was at wit's ends.  Didn't want to use the ecollar for that, at least not without more guidance.  The muzzle works.  She absolutely hates it.  For me, at this point, that is a plus, feature, not a bug.  As much as I hate disturbing her, allowing her to disturb me will kill me.  Perturbing her is a lessor evil?

Getting more sleep?

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Yes.  If, also, helping out more too?  Yes.  How?  Well, mother is pitching overtime, and having tasks she needs me to do ready when I am able.  And, lately, that has been a lot.  Heavy work.  But small if many discrete tasks.  Moving the freezer (fully loaded, a struggle but not impossible for short distances), moving boxes, taking out trash, putting larder bulk down in the basement.  Though too, setting up her tea when she has worked hard and needs and wants that little gift or help.

No, I really don't mind.  As much as she does, I am glad when I can help.  Tea or real muscle work.  I don't mind.

Heavy sleeping.

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Mother, even now, is just almost on the fringe of understanding.  I can't fully explain because not even I fully understand.  Can't sleep much, but need to rest when not able to sleep.  Hours, days, at a time.

I told her how cold I was.  Then I touched her shoulder.  She  has touched warmer corpses.  No, it doesn't make sense.  Not always cold, but sometimes cold beyond anything that should make sense.

Pushing too hard.

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I tried to help, but every time I turned around she added things to MY list.  NO!  I do have to get in for blood work.  Again, the blood work was incomplete.  Again, my appointment was canceled.  The hospital is pushing dei hiring, and we are suffering for it.

This time they will get a talking to.  Beyond, I will have them verbally confirm the testing with my clinic.  And, going forward, every time I go for a draw, the two clinics will speak one to the other, before testing starts.  And I will check the tests, as well, before I leave.

A touch worried.

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Doctor appointment coming up.  Will check then.  BP is often, say five of the last seven days, down in the 88/65, with pulses as low as 38 to 54.  Okay.  Wasn't sure if that was bad.  Went looking, as a simple exercise, not for surety (can't trust the web, on several fronts, of for specifics with particular givens).  Still, could get a gist?

Seems, from what I read and saw, that these things aren't an issue, with the caveat that there are no symptoms.  My problem?  The symptoms I was having existed before the low reads, and have improved.  If yet remain, exhaustion the worst and slowest to fade.