A failed dinner party.

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All of the friends I had asked over for dinner failed to arrive. I know why one, therefore two did not show. The other I cannot tell with certainty, though I suspect the reason was the same for all. One I understand, the other could be a problem. Time will tell with all things.

And yet, it was fine. I never worry about people missing out. I can only offer. My mother and myself enjoyed a great meal, a leisurely evening, and life is good. If they want to come by some time, they are welcome if my schedule allows.

I do not know if I mentioned this, but... I went to the animal shelter for Logan and picked a kitten. She is here and I am trying to get Sam and her get along. Her name is Sassy, now. She came to me named Saucy, but that did not fit. My mother thought Sassy fit her better (and it does). I thought about it a while, and some other names, but I think Sassy is close enough to Saucy it will fit, plus Sassy truly fits her. Sam simply wants nothing to do with her, so far. Well, other than to maybe bat her around a bit. I have Sassy in her cage at night, for now. I am hoping Sam will go in and see her, get used to her and such. During the day, I let them both go free, though I pay close attention at the merest of hisses.

My mother is going home soon. I will miss her. But as they say, how can I miss her if she is still here?!? I do not get all mushy, especially since I know she will be back in the spring. We will work then too, but not like this time. She had best find and bring her smokeless cigarette system next time. I simply could not afford another one for her visit.

So much to keep up here and a few things to get done beyond what we completed. I am so tired though, that I will take some time off. I need to rest. I am fried and it is high summer here. All I can think is rest and cool, somehow. Water, I think, would help.

Good night.

We are both wiped out.

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For her it has been nearly two weeks, for me almost three weeks of long days and hard work. Our days have been from 12 to 16 hours. The work has varied. My house and my lawn equipment is set up and has all been used, saved the wheelbarrow I purchased yesterday. There really is nothing more to do at this time. A few days of rest and then she will go back to her home.

I hope we are able to see the Great Salt Lake and maybe take a drive tomorrow. She needs to do some shopping, as do I. A visit to Idaho, travel on a road that has garnered her curiosity on the way, perhaps a drive over a mountain on a back road, and then one last good meal tomorrow night. I need to check with some people to see if they wish to come over and enjoy it with us.

I am simply exhausted. I will take some time off, doing only bare minimums and some of the things I want to do. Walking to the dam, or driving there if that proves too much for now, and swimming. Checking out the hen house to see if roofing it would be worth the effort and then getting started with that if so. Moving two mounds of dirt, one permanently, one to be piled near the tomatoes, to fill in that area when tomatoes and peppers stop growing there. But... over time. Oh, and I suppose I could do a bit of weed whipping now and again.

She has not created lists. She has been quite tired to lately. We have both pushed well and truly beyond ourselves. But the results are fantastic. I hope she finds as much satisfaction with the results of our expenditure of ourselves as I do. As well, we have had a pleasant time together. We have kept our... differences... minimal. When we disagree, we simply note the fact and leave it there. She likes this done this way, I like that done that way, but we both know that without both of us doing what we do as we do it little would have been done. Some compromise, of course, has taken place as well. A little time and patience sees to that much better than bitter words, yelling, and all that.

I will miss her. I will be glad to go back to my slower ways as well. I am most certain she will be pleased to be back home also. All with gratitude and love, some new found respect on both our parts, and a little forethought into her return in the spring. Let us just say that this was the best time I have ever enjoyed with my mother. If you remember the little roboboy in AI, you might begin to understand.

Well, good night. I hope you rest half so well as I will. Twice as much sounds nicer but then you would never wake up. :p

A very good day of work.

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The yard is pretty much done. I need to weed whip along parts of the fence yet, and probably out along the perimeter of the acreage. I realize more than ever how big of a job just tending this size of a place really is. All "grass" has been mowed, huge swaths of weeds in areas which were too sever and risky to mow have been weeded. The tree near the drive has had sappers removed and it has been trimmed up and evened. I saved one odd side down so as to compare. I want to see how fast those branches grow. The main lilac bush has been trimmed. Two stumps have been cleared of saplings and weeds. Many other types of tasks were completed throughout the day.

I am constantly amazed by Sam. She catches mice all day long. I think we saw her catch 4 or 5 mice today. She also catches bats, which worries me. Just because there is no (known) current threat or trend of rabies, I would rather figure out how to move the bats out. She loves them though, I know. Mice with wings, in her book. She has been enjoying having two people give her loving, once she became familiar with my mother. Which she did rather quickly. I do love Sam.

I have started to water the "grass". We can tell, through the weed whipping and mowing, that the "grass" has been allowed to go for some time. It was quite thick, brutally thick. Much of it is, or seems, quite yellow and dead. Still, I have decided to move the sprinkler around and begin occasional watering. I will try to hit every area for an hour, perhaps two, per week for a bit to see if some of it will come back. I hate living in a hayfield, even (perhaps especially) a recently mowed one. My mother suggests that the grass will come back in the spring if it does not recover this summer. She only wanted me to water the front, but I... just cannot do that. I would like to see some green grass. The back and side lawns have a better chance of recovery, with more green under what was cut. And yet, the watering will be a bit expensive. Still, that is the way I am running the show.

I think I am getting stronger. I think, even before my mom arrived, I was back to or near the strength I had when working out two years ago. I was just at the point where I could bench right at 400 pounds, theoretically (based on how much I was benching in my work outs, and conservatively figured). So, I decided to step on the scale this morning before breakfast or anything. I was surprised, a bit angry, and disappointed. I now weigh 278 pounds. I got dressed, ready to go, and realized I needed a belt. Those pants fall off. So, I tightened the belt as needed, then... thought something was weird. I had a lot of belt overage to try and tuck around. Looking more closely, I realize I am on the last notch of my belt. That was the same belt I have been using since I lost weight/size while working out. At that time, I was using the 3rd from the widest hole on the belt. There are seven holes. I am now using the 7th, the slimmest hole... and it is barely enough to keep my pants on. I have gained muscle and lost fat. A lot of both I would guess.

When my mother goes, I will try to keep on the weed whip and mowing as necessary. I will be checking out the hen house, and roofing it if possible. I will be maintaining my simple lifestyle, or going back to it a bit more. As well, I will begin my journey to the dam and swimming. I think I can walk it. And I will be setting up my weights in the garage for now, beginning to use those again. I suspect this will go well with figuring out how to get into first aid and first responder classes and volunteering, if that is available. Life is going to be very different here. I have no choice, at this point, but to keep on top of things I never knew existed before, things which never crossed my mind. I am guessing there is much more I do not even know or understand yet out there I will have to step up and tend.

Tomorrow I have an appointment. I also need to take the paperwork by the insurance company I am working with, signed of course. Then on to Logan. I will be stopping at the humane society to find a kitten as well. I think this is the time. I am hoping Sam will adopt the new little one too. While there, I will ask about veterinarians. Sam, I think, has ear mights or something. And a checkup would be good. My mom will be cooking dinner for us and my friend, so I will pick him up in there somewhere. I am thinking I may take him to the humane society as well, so the kitty will not need to be transported more than necessary. I really would love another adult cat, for the cat's sake, but I think that might be a bit much for Sam right now. So, a kitten will do. Sam, if she takes her in, will teach the new little one the joys of mousing while the summer is high and the getting is good.

Hmm, should my mother or lady friend want to move out here and stay here with me, I might have a solution we could help finance together and both or all live with, depending on building codes of course. I, actually, had dreamed of this before. I just had never seen the means, if you can believe it. How weird, dreams that is.

Pleasant dreams. Good night.

All day doing little, for my part.

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I have been trying to get insurance since last Friday. I think, think I say, I have it. I was sent an issuance to print out and put in my vehicle which allowed me to go to town and buy the goods on the most recent shopping list. But not until 15:00 or 16:00. I am not holding my breath that this will all fall through for sure, but I am going with the flow until I know better for better or worse.

While I was in town, my mother... mowed. She is nearing 68, she has had two back surgeries, had both knees and a hip replaced, and had some number of surgeries on her feet. She was not supposed to do that, plotting for my disappearance to rev the engine. The grass was 2 to 3 feet high, it has not been mowed in... probably a year or two, and it is a hot day. Did I mention she smokes? It simply is not fair. Nor right. You can tell the woman, just not much. Ha!

I did get everything on the list except corn, which simply was not available. And, I did, after negotiating with... many people, gain insurance (for the moment?). I also set up the insurance (auto part) to be placed on automatic pay (first payment even), and am part way, or have actually, set the home insurance to go back to being paid by the escrow account. Still, after seeing what my mom did, it is not much.

I told her tomorrow I am her yard worker. Getting her to just organize and give orders will not work, though I am hoping she will at least leave the heavy work for me. Really, I can and will do it, if slow to get to it, once I start I do really well. I do it much more easily than she, once I get started. She even painted the purplish/mauvish/something bits.

I placed an order from a longtime friend. But the wrong address was used. My old Iowa address is still in my payment account, so it automatically put that into the order. I need it to go to my mom's, so not even my current address. I sent an email, and told her I would blurb so she might better know. Some gifts I think my mother might appreciate as an "I love you." and thanks. /blurboff Hmm, there were some things I like too. Maybe next month? No promises though, until I figure out my new fishbowl finances.

I now need to call my friend. He will hopefully be over for dinner tomorrow night. Chicken, fried, and lots of other good stuff. Friday, I believe, myself and my mom will be going to the Great Salt Lake. I have found a more favorable place there to visit and found the directions. Then, perhaps, a dinner Saturday with both my friend and some newer friends. I guess it is sort of a house warming (open house?) event. Whatever they are called. My more senior friend has seen the house before it became a home. He will be amazed. My other friends have not seen this place at all. Anyway, tomorrow is the last day of work, period. If I have to put some Queen in the stereo and grab some duct tape, this is it. She will relax or... "Tie your mother down, tie your mother down..." Ha!

Well, good night. Stay cool, even, perhaps especially, if it is not.

The house is done.

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Not all boxes have been unpacked. But every room and area has been arranged, furniture is placed and re-constructed as needed, everything is clean. I honestly did not think this could be done. I had been thinking that the kitchen, bedrooms, and living room would be it. I did not think they would be done to the level they are done. Curtains to rugs to vacuuming to placemats on the endtables. The few boxes left will be handled over this week or after my mom returns home. They are neatly stacked upstairs and contain material that might be more difficult to place well. And yet, I will get to that, or we will.

The rest of the lawn is next. Tomorrow will be the time for that. I will need to get out earlier in the day as the appointment for today had to be rescheduled for tomorrow. I have a shopping list for tomorrow, from several stores, as well as my appointment. I am well and solidly winded. I suspect the rest of the week will see ongoing work, but at a more leisurely pace. Upkeep and a bit more I would guess.

My insurance company dropped both my house and auto insurance. The letter suggested it was written July 16th. I know I checked mail as recently as last Saturday, and perhaps Monday, and had not received that mail by then. I did not check my mail the rest of last week as we were quite busy. So, I received the notice Friday, early in the afternoon. I have not been able to contact the agent in that time. This morning I called a local insurance agent and requested a quote. I called back in the afternoon and... they had not even put the material in for a quote. I got them to send the material to an agent who is not too busy to sell insurance. She called shortly after, thankfully, and suggested that a quote would be coming in the morning. That I understand, they have to run things by the underwriter.

Why was I canceled by Allied? Because their (my) agent did not supply them with enough information on the house and they considered it too high a risk with no more information than the year the house was built (1880). They did not even know, according to paper work they had, that this home has electricity. They dropped my auto insurance because of being rear-ended within the first 60 days. Needless to say, I do not think Allied could or should be trusted. By the way, I have had automobile insurance with Allied for... 7 to 10 years, this was simply a change in where I was getting insurance and packaging it with my home. Should I have advice on insurance, let me suggest you stay away from Allied. The main character in their advertising pretty much sums up what you can expect, if you can read between the lines and think just a bit. Trust? That is earned, or not.

Yes, tired. I have been working for 2 weeks now and I am simply out of gas. I do not wish to give out. The choice is not mine though. I will need a rest soon, a good one. Although I am hoping that when things go back to usual, I can start walking, or even driving if needed, to the lake in order to begin swimming. The hike would be good, though, too. And, back to beans and rice. Still, I cannot complain about the food while my mother has been here. Even the simple has been very good. Not having to cook nearly as often is pleasant. I have kept my lip zipped on the differences between our ways and not only is the food just fine but life is easier.

We have been doing well together. I know we are both on good behavior, and yet I think with some practice that would be good. I also know that my mother, like any woman I have ever known and in this way, cannot go without mood storms. As for me, I can. I do not need nor want drama. I do not want anger and yelling and arguing. I think it is a chemical thing with many women. Or a passive aggressive thing due to their inability to actually physically compete. And yet, I think if my mother really put her mind to it, she could calm a great deal... I think.

So much to do, in some ways, so little time... and yet a need to rest. But having the house, or even storage unit, turned into a home has been a little miracle. Now I can begin more living my life and less trying to get to the point where I can begin that process. Hiking! Swimming! Perhaps even a beginning of weight lifting! Eating right, taking care of the home, figuring out a few other things, and simply living where I have spent years merely dreaming of living. Who would have believed that I would even have figured out how to be here just 3 years ago. I do not think I believed, I just... wanted, tried, and doubted.

Well, good night.

A slow Sunday.

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Very little is being done. I think both of us have... well... wearied good and well. Life has returned to a bit of an easier pace. However, we still have some work to do. We have until next Sunday to complete our work and set things up, make some lists, and last minute checks. Hopefully we can enjoy a more leisurely week this last week, get a few more things done, and both be the better for it.

I may do one thing on the list for sure today, outside. I need to paint those pieces that were painted purple, plum, mauve, or something in there. I have the white paint and the brush. As well, with the bookshelves up, this (the computer room) will probably get at least a lick and spit start today.

Steaks, again, tonight. I pulled out what I had thought was ribs, along with the steaks yesterday. So, two days of ribeye. My tears are big and wonderful... and crocodile to the last nano ounce. She made potato salad and sliced veggies to be grilled along with the steaks. Yes, life is good and good food only adds to the event.

Have a great day.

The work goes on if the pace slows.

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We are wearying quickly. The heat is getting to us. And the work is nearly done. We have one room and some outdoor work left and more than a week to go. A little slower pace is good. What we have done is amazing. She has done the organizational aspect and a lot of the work. I have been muscle, height, and auxiliary functionary. Oh, and technical specialist. Women are great at some things, some things are simply outside of their area. I will grant that, for a woman and even among some men, my mother is not a slouch in mechanical. I have some natural talents though, which allow me to simply know, somehow, how to solve some problems. It has been good working with her. This has been some of the most successful work we have colluded upon.

Today I was able to do little things that were on my list along with a few things on her list. I tried to be more available for her demands, but as the work nears completion, I saw the opportunity to hit the things I know and wanted. She always has things for me to do, and sometimes her list is on my list, so it is easier. I like to do jobs I know and have been thinking about. My mind seems to set those jobs up so I simply do them by the time I get to them. Some good news. The windows I will need to replace have gone from 6 or 8 or something... down to one. After cleaning them and looking at the rest I realize they are indeed double pained and well placed and set. The one I need to replace is in the downstairs spare bedroom. It is that multi-slatted jobby. We were, finally, able to open it. When she started insisting it be opened (and working toward that), I decided to look the thing over a bit more closely and was able to remove a few literal and virtual problems, while she was able to get the mechanism to work. So, she has a little fresh air in there tonight. And, I now know how to make that work. I guess I just did not believe it would or could work... pessimism is not a great friend.

She, I think, is a bit surprised that I have been staying up whole days, been active for the whole periods (if still slow), and taking the initiative. She has not seen this for years, decades. I am moving quickly enough that she is not frustrated and she has been being patient enough with her requests and pushing that I have not been getting angry. Good thing too, I know how close my life is to failing. A couple of severe high blood pressure spikes really could see some serious damage or death. What has happened here has been perfect though.

I have been working, sometimes hard. I have been in the heat, using my muscles and mind, and pushing the edges of my day. I have to pace it, and do. I do not think I could keep this up indefinitely, not yet. But that is a goal. I have already been thinking about what to do when she leaves. As I said, we will work on a plan before she goes. Jobs yet to do, both inexpensive and the bigger projects. As well, I would like to get a list of cleaning chores I can shoot at. For example, cleaning the bathrooms, which she suggests I do every two weeks (minimally). I would like to get a list of her recommendations, a calender just for those, and begin checking off things so I may track those. Yes, I wish to change, and to live. Really, I think I can.

For you mothers out there... understand, your children will always need you. You may go through some very tough times. But once they mature, have need, or simply miss you, life will get good. The bounty my mother is reaping now, from two rascal sons, is more than she could ever have hoped to reap... perhaps. She certainly went through some dry times and some rough times. Just stay the course and love those rogues and scalawags of children and it will happen. And yes, working hard for your children is a reaping... oddly. Something special only parents can understand and perhaps beyond that mother's can feel like no other. Do not worry about mistakes or perceived mistakes. Get them to adult and wait, if need be.

Good night. I will be sending out a special prayer for mother's and their sufferings, joys, work, and play tonight. You are a special people.

Yard work.

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I can work. I had a great deal of difficulty doing yardwork in Iowa. It was not just the heat and humidity. Though that did play a part. I was in pretty rough shape. I was able to work this evening almost without effort. I did some mowing and some weed whipping. A storm blew in though and that was pretty much it. Still, the sweet taste of success in knowing that I can work is great. Not only that, but I enjoyed it. Not like, say, a computer game. But knowing that my yard was becoming a real yard and not just a wild land, a feral lawn, was simply good.

Tomatoes are coming on in larger numbers. About the time my mother showed up, the plants really took off. Now I have a half dozen to a dozen tomatoes going and perhaps a half a dozen jalapenos. I realize now that what I had thought was green peppers is jalapenos. I will have some hot salsa soon! We took care of the east side and the front of the house. I have gone through 2 weed whip cords. I have 3 left, so those are on the list for tomorrow. Many more will be needed. Both the lawnmower and weed whip are doing all I could have hoped. Hopefully I will be able to find a wheelbarrow tomorrow for a few heavier jobs. Hmmm, I best get another shovel, the slim spade will not do for some of the dirt moving needed. So much is required just to do the standard work around a home!

Tomorrow cardboard will be taken in, breakfast will be eaten, shopping will be done, and then we will return home. A lunch of some sort, a nap very possibly, and then another evening on the yard. I am amazed at what is being done, by both of us. I have never understood my mother, and never could quite keep up (or even close) let alone keep up with normals. I am, finally, about a normal person. At least in capacity with some direction. I am learning many things from her. For example, some of the trees (evergreens in the well cooked front yard) are being watered. I was not sure whether to do that or not. There are many other things I have asked, and quite usually she knows.

No, a woman cannot claim to be equal. She can prove, however, that she is better... if in her ways. And, she is in this area. The good news is I have the time, opportunity, and interest in trying to catch up. Perhaps even surpass. There are things I can do she would need to hire out... potentially. A chainsaw, a ladder, and a little bit of thinking should see me clear to removing dead branches high in the trees. I even have some climbing gear and various rope for safety and controlled ascent of both myself and limbs. We will see though. But knowledge... for me to hope to catch up it will take... many many years. Yes, she may not be equal, but she may be superior. And, no, this is not a new thought... it is merely that no one who doubted asked the right question.

I must admit, I cannot feel the water as softer. I may not have it set to the right grains or perhaps it was not as hard as all that? I simply do not know. I can, however, taste it. The reverse osmosis water itself only tasted slightly different. The water, when softened, now tastes much better. I do not understand all that, but that is fine too.

Oh, after clearing the east side of the house, I realize I have a fine strip of land there for gardening. I will have to remove some smaller boulders and rocks, and I will be planting a tree over there as well which in time may limit that. But next year I have a great place to plant a ton of tobacco plants. I have two areas in the back lined up for various gardening needs. In one area I will plant things that are more or less static plants, in the other I will have more area demanding things, such as cucumbers, squash, or even pumpkins or watermelon. My mother suggests that I till the ground this fall, before frost hits, mixing in a general local fertilizer mix, in preparation for spring. She wants to visit about planting time to help me get going with that and, I think, to visit. As well, she enjoys having time apart from the world as she has known it for many years now. Both of her sons need her. And again, she is there. There is nothing more gratifying for a mother than to help her sons, one dealing with a severe disability and one trying and maybe succeeding in coming out of disability. Next time though, there will be no heavy work here. Just advising. I am different and getting better.

I have decided to contact whoever about medical training. First aid and then first responders. With that, I will volunteer locally. I would like to limit it to less severe things, but it does not work that way. I need these skills and want the equipment. There is no better of a way and reason to both gain and upgrade skills and equipment than to have a need to do so. And, so it will be. I flew this by my mother to good results. Yes, gearing up, learning, and helping. I am almost breathing again.

Well, good night. It is time to put the body down and rest well and deservedly. A long week it has been and more is yet to be done. Good night all.

Better late then never?

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I set the alarm for 8:00. My mother knew though, that I would not be up at 8:00. I had watched a movie, Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring. It ran longer than I remembered. Dude, blue-ray is okay. And I tinkered with sound and it is better, if not quite what I am hoping. Though if I sit in the exact right place, it is even better if still not as good as my old system. I need to figure out how to make the sound sweet spot bigger. Anyway... between staying up later and the work, I did not hear the alarm until 9:00. At which time my mother reminded me we had things to do. I asked for another hour, which she had no problem with. Hmm, I think it was 11:00 before I rolled out like a snail lump. She had a look on her face at that time that told me, "Fine, but I am not happy now." Heh And she was not. So, getting up seemed the gentlemanly (safe) thing to do.

We did little this morning, both of us were tired. So, a slow roll up to my appointment time, a shower, and to town I went. As I was about to leave, though, the cable guy showed up. Now we have regular television. Mum is happy. She is a news junky too, if not for any specific reason. And, of course for her, Oxygen "women's" channel. But, it is her thing. No shopping or other such tomfoolery was in the offing thankfully. So, after a quick appointment, I was back home. A little bit to eat while she watched "Bad Girls", or "Snapped", or something.

Since then I have pulled out the weed whip, oiled and gassed it, started it as a check, then did the same for the lawnmower. Everything has been sized and set up for use, but it is still a bit hot. As it cools this evening, I will be whipping some weeds. Everything worked well, started easily, and will do just fine. Another hour or so and I can start that. My mother has been breaking down boxes. Tomorrow we will start out early, drop off the boxes at a recycling center, have breakfast, then do some shopping she wishes to do.

I suggested we start making a list of things I can be doing over time. She suggested putting a steel door on the back porch area, rather than a new door and storm door. I will consider this, though I made no promises. As well, I need to get a motion light above the garage. I would also like to do the same to the front and side (main) entrances, though not on the porch entrance for now. I will have to look at the technologies available, as I want lights I can turn on and have them stay on, turn on so that they act as timed motion lights, or turn off. Some of them used to not have that much variability in them. A garage door opener, a locking knob handle for the garage as well, and maybe a new screen/storm door for the side entrance. I know new windows are on the list for the living room, "den" (for now), and two bedrooms downstairs. The rest of the house is good, though some of the windows need lacquer and the mechanisms could use a spot of oil. I have DW-40, which might work, though I want to be sure before using it. There are other things, but that is the general list, so far, that I can recall. There will be other things we find, and things I find on my own. I still have not gotten to the chicken coop, but that is a before fall thing. I simply do not want it to winter open again. perhaps painting the structures themselves as well. All money, time, and energy dependent, but all but money is improving. Frugality has a place, and this too I will have to learn.

Just a bit more insight into the life and times here. I need to put some computer games on the machine, games my mom likes, then watch a bit of tv while the outside world cools. And then weed whipping... finally! And, yes, actually, I am excited!

Later.

So much more.

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For me, another long day in town. Here and there, and finally picking up the weed whip. It was very hot in town, traffic either runs very slow or very fast, and the sun just pounded me. Crowds in all the stores save Sears. Strangers, if not actually aggressive or even terribly ugly, are strangers still. If I saw no hatred, too, I saw no friends. In the ugly heat, that is more than a man wants to face all day. And yet, so much is done by it that it is worth the price.

My mother has continued to work. She is accomplishing what, to me, is miraculous. She has dug in and worked like few can. I have done my utmost to simply comply with her requests from me. I have had to ask for breathers from time to time, I simply cannot be doing something for hours on end. I do bodily overheat. As well, I weary in an odd way. I would not call it physical exhaustion so much as spiritual exhaustion. I simply can do no more. How she does it I do not know.

This house is truly becoming a home. And, with how I have been doing here, I should be able to keep it up rather well. We have more to do, and much will be done, but we are both needing some time off. However, not quite yet. Tomorrow morning I will be starting up the weed whip. After looking things over while using it, a plan will then be created for mowing. Though mowing will not be done tomorrow. If I can do the trim, perhaps even all of it, tomorrow, plus my appointment, I will be pleased. More than that, I cannot promise. I am... well over my limit.

We will see what we will see. Oh, I have viewed the television with the home theater. To be honest, I was a bit surprised by both. I thought the home theater would be a bit better and that blue-ray would be a dud. It seems just the opposite. I will tinker with the sound, though I am not sure what more I can pull out of it or add to it. The stand, it seems, is really bad. I may have to take it back and get something else. I do not wish to mount it on the wall or simply set it on something in the provided stand. One is too unsure (I do not trust stud finders' ability to actually find the center of the stud for supporting such a heavy item) and the stand is far to unstable. Who knows. On another matter, I purchased salt for the water softener today and loaded the first amount. I should have soft water in the morning. This will help with some things, such as stains and scale, as well as be better for washing body and clothing. It will extend the life of the reverse osmosis system as well.

We have decided to put off going to the Great Salt Lake until Monday. Friday we will do the last, probably, shopping trip. This time she will be going with me. She has things in her mind and wants to tend that. Only two or three shops are on the list. Perhaps we will also drive up Logan Canyon and on the way home I can drive on up to Idaho so she can say she has been there. Who knows what will happen though, plans change like the wind and sometimes with it.

Good night.

A long day.

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I did help up until my appointment, and after waking up. There is not a lot I can do and I would complain about how she is doing things (perfectionism is a problem with unpacking, sorting, and such, for me) or she would do the same to me when tasked with doing things she wanted. We have totally different styles and approaches to many things. Still, being a general help and having her instruct me to do something in another room, or simply being a mechanical device relating to strength or height, and we do fine.

After my first trip into town to get cash for the installation, the installer for the water softener and reverse osmosis arrived. I asked that he install a water shutoff system with the softener and a cutoff valve for the r.o. system. That was installed while I was in town. I had no room for salt for the softener, so that is on the list for tomorrow.

She had thought I would finish with everything and be home in an hour or so. It takes me an half hour to get to town. My appointments can last an hour and a half. That does not include time for shopping or picking up items. She was not upset, just a little worried. After the appointment, I went shopping. She had a list and it will be the majority of what she wanted for home. The list was long and varied, included items for home and things she needed. Beyond that, I found items we had discussed or which would flush out some of the other purchases. Then I drove to Sears to pick up the television. The weed whip is in but I simply had no room for it, the television, and what I had shopped earlier. Tomorrow, most likely, will see me with that last device.

I was able to set the television and home theater up. I cannot tell if they run yet, as the receptacle behind them does not work. A little frustrated, I took a bit of time to do my internet stuff. While cooling down, I decided to try something. The receptacle next to the one I tried to use does work but of course the cords will not reach. However, the computer protective plug in unit might work. Some of the things I bought today were more rugs. My mother laid one in a place that should keep the cord safe, if it will reach.

Everything is coming together well. She has the kitchen and living room in prime order. I am not sure what she has planned tomorrow. But I think it involves me and lots of work all day long. Fine, fine, though I will make a request. That is, she give me whatever tasks and go do her own list. We do not work well together. When we get fussy about the task at hand, we both can take it out on each other. As I said, we do things so very differently that trying to help each other is a frustrating thing, even if we are both truly trying. When I say move something up... she invariably moves it down thinking that is what I meant. Neither of us are stupid, or even ignorant, we just run on different voltages and probably sources. She is more DC, I think. I am AC and at least three cycle (just because it seems that I am doing nothing does not mean I am not, though I might be doing nothing, Ha!).

I have to snack on something. Then try the tv and sound system, if the cord will reach. And then, hit it. It has, indeed, been a long day. So far though, the work really has not be a problem. A scheduled Friday off, to see the Salt Lake, will help us both to keep focus and move ahead I think, too. Without a known break, I cannot just go on and on. She, I think, can. Did I mention she is nearly 71? Yeah, and a Mack Truck powerhouse of a dame at that. *beep beep* She just helped my brother and his wife move in a few months ago. He has had back surgery and is still... not functional. His Mrs. is working full time, and then some perhaps. Along with some barely teen and nearing teen daughters... They needed help.

Well, good night. I will, as I always do, pray for those in need, those who need more than money can buy, those 'with' to do the right things, the Church and Her (and our) guides, the sick, the lame, dolts and snots, associates, friends, family, and then my enemies. So, you should be included in there, maybe several times in several ways. You are welcome. Again, good night.

A good night's sleep.

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Up and well before the alarm, and finally awake. A 6-grain mix of cereal for breakfast and some waking up time will see me to town and back with some money so as to be back in town again in time for an appointment, picking up the television and weed whip (I hope), and a little shopping from a list my mom has created. I am still a bit under it from pushing hard and long, but that will pass.

She has been working non-stop. She has the kitchen pretty much done. I do not know how she does it. Beside having everything out of boxes, she has rearranged things by logic, function, and such. It is embarrassing how much she can do and does. The living room is next, so I am told. I have been handy for things that demand height or strength, but... that is pretty light really. I am, for the most part, trying to stay out of her way. She is formulating chores for me, but for now she is doing what I cannot or do not understand how to do on her own.

Oh, this house will be made into a very functional home shortly. Not up to her specs, she only has two weeks. But far beyond my specs to be sure. The yard will be put into some kind of shape. Curtains and other things will be arranged. I may not be fully sane at the end of it, but I will do my darnedest to keep up and do my share. She has been nice and easy on me so far, and I needed the time. But I think I see the tigress natural force she is about to... become a bit more demanding. Yes, yes, for my own good and toward my goals and all. So I will do my utmost to simply oblige to the length of my ability and then some.

Well, a shower, to town, and on to a glorious work-aholic two weeks. Later.

A few thoughts as my mind crashes.

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You know, I realize I have it bad in a serious way. My body and mind do not function together or well on their own. Further, my conscious mind is like the good guy versus those two bad boys. My will is good, but it is not enough to overcome, lead, or otherwise change those things. So I live in a partially paralyzed reality. Crippled in a healthy and vigorous body and with a potentially powerful mind. This is harsh. It not only hurts, it annoys. It is real and though I work on it, I do not know if I will ever "walk" again. And yet, I have it so darn good. I read stories like this and... I realize just what I do have. You know, I do not think the man should be "helped", society has a way of crushing the spirit, drive, and other things with what it calls charity. But if I had an odd job or two, and as my schedule and finances and ability slow down some of the things I want and need done, guess what... I would let him help himself and me... and learn from him in numerous ways. Yes I would. Just saying.

The next topic is a bit controversial. This story has lead to a great flap from every side. Here too, initially, as well, if I may not have not have written so. A little more checking has caused me to reconsider my initial notion. Have you looked at the cities condition and financing? Seriously? I have to consider that, possibly, if public officials pay (not all of them, but the decision makers) was raised to a level to where financial improprieties, such as bribery, nepotism, and some of the other uglies were weeded out a bit, perhaps the streets might be cleaner, the sewers might be repaired by competent fairly vetted and priced workers, and a few other things would be better. Why? Several reasons. A highly paid public official has every incentive to keep his job by keeping a black balance. As well, he has every incentive to make sure stuff works so that people do not have a leg to stand on about his salary. Bribery simply is not worth risking nearly a million a year. And nepotism and some of the other soft corruptions are just too dangerous to that paycheck.

What is disastrous, however, are the pension plans. Those, for public sector, have to end as we know them. They are simply impossible to afford. Medical plans and other perks simply have to disappear as well. Further, public sector unions have to be ended. However, if well paid up front and allowed to seek their own best fit, we could easily make that workforce sector more clearly visible and more productive. Do I mind paying quality pay for quality work? No. Do I mind overpaying a bloated inefficient bureaucracy for a poor job and debt? Yes. It is that simple. Look at those public officials' wages, look at the city stats, look at the city stats for those cities around them, and you tell me. Look.

Waking up is hard to do.

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A rough, slow, and late start. I had hoped to leave by noon. Well, I was UP by noon. I then planned on leaving by 13:00. Well, 13:30 saw me on my way, which is the exact time I would need to arrive at the airport at exactly 15:00. Then I realized my travel time calculation was based on... when I lived in Logan... a half hour closer to the airport. No! So, rather than whine, I do what I can with pedal, steering wheel, serious risk taking, and the luck of a survivor. As I pulled into the park and wait area, I just pull into a parking spot and begin scanning the flight board. Right then she called and asked where I was. Timing, my friends, timing and little luck.

I ended up waiting for her as the wheelchair attendant was trying to push her and another woman and the other woman had to use the facilities. She has "stolen" the chair and gone on before, but did not today for some reason. It is always good to see my mom. We have, a bit, already been sparring. That is just how it goes. I have to learn to catch and release on those. I can do that with almost any other woman I know, but not with my mom. So far. We will see.

The drive home was good. I warned her not to be too upset by what she is to see when we get there. On the way, we discuss short and long term goals. Grocery shopping is on the list, though while discussing it the list got so long we decided to put it off a day or two. Yet driving through Utah's fruit corridor, we saw a sign for fresh fruit and vegetables. She wanted to stop but I was too far past to slow down and turning around was not in the cards. I was sure there would be another, and there was. Apricots, peaches, tomatoes, cucumbers, and two types of squash were in the offing. Happy with our load, we headed on down the road. We both were in better spirits about the tasks, so we put Wal-Mart and the butcher shop back on the list. We did get to Wal-Mart, she picking up some of her essentials (she packed very light) and more food, and me picking up a couple of fans. I had no cash, oddly. She has purchased the food so far, and thinks she will get away with it. Ha! Boy does she forget her son when away for a while! Women!

Before parking at my house, I decided to show her the local dam. She approved and is looking forward to going there once or twice for a splash and cooling down time. She really cannot swim, sinks to the bottom like a rock. But she can wade and enjoy a little lake time, and does. I am also hoping to find time to take her to the Great Salt Lake. I have yet to go myself, a wonderful excuse to see one's own country is by having guests you know. Plus, I have it that even she cannot sink in this salty body of water. We will, carefully, investigate that claim. Anyway, after reviewing the dam and lake with it, we return to my home.

She took a few things in, more than I had wanted her to handle, but so it goes. I asked if she would figure out where to put things so that she would not try to carry more. She obliged. I showed her around, talked about some of my plans, and she put things where she wanted things. All good by me, really and truly anymore. She was actually a bit pleased. From my history, she knows what bad... really bad... can be. This was not it. Rough, sure. But no stink from 'ripe' dishes, no dirt (never really that even in my past), clutter but an organized form of it. I think she was a bit surprised, to the good. Maybe a lot surprised. She can be hard to read.

No rest for the wicked. She started in on things this evening. I did not tell her I had only slept a few hours last night nor that I have been working for days beyond myself, I just tried to be helpful. We got a few things done, sorted, and the kitchen neatened to her standards. She was hungry, so I fired up the grill. We had a nice chat outside. While I was cooking, Sam caught a mouse right by the driveway. We both like mousers, and it is fun to watch, so it was a bit of a treat. My mom thought the inside was cool enough, but I thought it was blazing hot. It was, too, comparatively. I had forgotten to close the kitchen windows and the heat of the day had invaded the house. Ugh!

She, finally exhausted herself, decided to go to bed. A few pillows and a blanket were procured, a fan was set up in her room, and it was good night. Though tired, I could not quite crawl into bed. I need time, quiet, alone, time to reset and unwind. And, blogging and news needed to be checked. The world is still out there, oh well. She knows I am, or was more so, a night owl. She said she will not wake me, but I realize I will have to get up early. The water softener and r.o. water treatment will be installed tomorrow, and I do not have the cash on hand to pay for it. I will have to go in before my appointment tomorrow and bring some cash back. Then go in for my appointment, then pick up the television and weed eater if they have arrived. I sure hope they are in.

This will be a busy two weeks. My mom is ready to tear into everything and all of it. Thankfully, though, she is not a night owl! I will have some breather time. Even her boyfriend, after hearing what she had said about this visit, exclaimed "Poor Doom!". (names have been changed to protect the guilty) Oh yes, poor poor Doom. But darn it, this place will be 10 times as homey as it is now. Yes it will.

In any case, I think I will be throwing the towel in and getting in a pillow fight with myself that I cannot win shortly. A few more braindead readings and maybe a comment or two if it does not hurt too much, then crash time.

Good night, Philip. I guess being Catholic is not all bad at all. I hope you still have the faith I saw in you then.

A bit longer.

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I got to much less than I had hoped. The bedding has been washed and put on the beds, the rest of the laundry is ongoing, dishes were set to soak but will probably not be completed tonight, and a few other odds and ends have been tucked in there. I am going to stay up two more hours to finish more laundry though. I can do little else in that time, my get up and go was run over, shot, and then lit on fire. The ashes are in the corner, licking wounds.

I am seeing ideas, politically, that I like. Republicans, in order to have a chance to do something positive, are going to have to hold to some lines. The only way that can happen is if we, the voters, have some sort of litmus testing or contracts. Essentially we have to believe that who will be voting for is who we think we are voting for. This piece offers one sample, among many, going forward. Beyond that, I am seeing proposals for a tax payers' bill of rights. There are items such as these in some states, moving this to a national level could be very good. Now, I will be the first to admit, these are band-aids on gaping wounds. These offers treatments for symptoms, not the disease directly. But at this time, the patient is far from the hospital and the choice is this or more wounds.

The sacrifices we will have to make going back far enough to begin going forward will be harsh. Either that or we will simply crash, financially. It may or may not already be too late. Time will tell. One way to look at it is this: As if the nation were a man, and that man broke his leg very badly some years back; He was never properly treated, and that poorly healed break is interfering with his ability to survive; the choices are grim, the cures available all uncertain, and this while he needs to try and fend for his life. Either we will break the leg again, and set it right this time, though there is no guarantee at this time. Or, by necessity to survive otherwise, an amputation might be necessary if the infections that go with it are becoming too strong or the recovery time would be shorter so that he can survive what else is coming externally. Social Security? Public Sector Pensions? K-doctorate? And add in all the little things, school lunches, the ever expanding highways, on into every sector the government has stuck an unwanted or demanded nose. All needs to be put on the block. Yes, even military spending.

On another subject, and while I know there are wrongs, I have to think the police are generally doing a good job. Perhaps the war on drugs is wrong. I do not agree with that assessment. As it stands, it is the law and the way. As such, from what I see in other countries, our legal system is much more function and fair than any other. Are there nations, anywhere, which allow common drug use? How are they working out? My guess, in the long term, minus the photo-op positives and political, msm, and other spin, their societies are in chaos at best. The drugs available today are simply too potent. Cocaine has become crack, speed has become meth, opium is old and just as bad as ever. No, this is not a beer, this is not even a whiskey, scotch, gin, or vodka. This stuff addicts in as little as one use. There is no going back to licit drugs. I thought we pretty much tried that, to an extent (and if not technically legal) in the 60's and 70's. How did that go? Anyway, when I see articles like this, I have no problem with our cops. Mistakes will happen, it is a war. Corruption will occur, it deals with a lot of money. But I have yet see the level of open corruption in the article. How many, by the way, of those killed were innocent, completely uninvolved? How many of those killed in Mexico by the gangs are uninvolved or advocating against them?

What I am saying is I both believe in the war and understand why the scale of violence has escalated. While I want a perfect police presence in action, that cannot happen. If people want to smoke their stuff, do their junk, mainline their goodies, there are places they can do that. If those places are places they would rather not live, why are they trying to bring the climate that junkies and the societies that allow them to the rest of us? Go, do your stuff in Mexico, or oversees, or wherever allows it. That will eliminate your and our problem. Come on, and if it is just pot you want to do... if you cannot figure that out, you really need help, not more pot. Live with the consequences, that is part of the price. It is not just the seller you might have to pay.

Well, back to... I do not know. Something stupid that kills time until the next two loads finish. Good night.

No More!

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I have been pushing too hard and doing too much. While I am pleased to have done what has been completed, I realize I have simply stretched too far. It is time to take a break. Even so, I will be tending some minor easy chores. Laundry which will include the sheets I have found, dishes just because I want that area clean both for presentation and function, the check to be mailed, and trash and recycling will be put out for pick-up tomorrow. As well, I have done a number of other jobs today. But I am at my end.

Tomorrow I will be meeting my mother at the airport. The only other thing I want to do tomorrow is grocery shopping. It is at this time I may join Sam's Club, if she feels like shopping that is. I will allow her a budget from which to work. Any cleaning supplies she prefers, recommends, or thinks I do not have but need will be available. As well, she may buy foods and other associated goods as she desires. She being a bit frugal though, I will do... quality checks on her purchases. I may not be a hounding top-brand guy, but I demand certain properties and qualities regarding food. I know she tries, as do I. We can make a good team.

Tuesday I have an appointment, the installer will be arriving for the reverse osmosis and water softener, bringing the devices on his way, and the television will be in. Sometime between now and then I need to set up the theater system as well. Still, I am hoping my mother allows me those two days to get my feet back on the ground.

To be honest, this place is still rather rough. Full boxes in this room and in the kitchen, not all the furniture is assembled and parts are here and there, and... It looks a lot like a bachelor lives here. It looks a thousand percent better, really, than before I started. And I have been working on form and function as well. But the improvements are... comparative. How much we can really improve even on that while she is here... I do not know. However, I do not want her working too hard either. And I simply cannot. I can try to do more, but my limits are real if expanding.

I finished off the beans and rice tonight, along with some hamburger I thawed the other day. A couple of slices of the near wheat bread with butter and a glass of milk finished the meal well. I do wish I had enough time to create another batch of that before she arrives, but with what I will do and the time left, that is not possible. With beans and rice cooked and ready, a meal is as close and fast as the microwave. I keep them separate as well, so rice can easily make a good breakfast with butter, salt and pepper or maple syrup or honey, or a little milk, and sugar or maple syrup or honey. Beans too, can be eaten alone or with sour cream for whole proteins, and as a solid or soup. I will be keeping those foods on hand from now on, both for their ease and the good nutrition they offer. I may be teaching my mom some new things about food. I really want to show her the sprouted wheat! She may not like it at all. But she may really like the deal too. Who knows.

I just wanted to bark at the moon and whine about the workload. It is all still good. A break from it, and a choice not to do too much more of the heavy stuff, and a little cool down from the chow, is what I needed. Wow, bm's are bricks. Yet they detach and splash just fine. Hmmm, if ever caught with my pants down in a life or death situation, I think I now have a to be verified lethal projectile at my feet. The poor sat upon toilets though, even the heavy flushers that they are they are balking at the loads. Wow, that is all else I have to say about that. Just wow!

Sunday thoughts.

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Lots of thing crowd my mind as I read the blogs today. Christianity, and sanity even, under the legal gun; the wars in the Middle-East; the 'debate' on manmade climate "change"; questions about Christians who love sinners and all that goes with it; and of course my feeble attempts at living then hopefully dying in this world of flesh in which I am only minimally vested.

My mother called this morning. Well, I was not quite awake. I heard the phone but the neurons tasked with doing anything about it did not have complete pathway connections to actually answer the phone. I did sleep well last night and this morning though! When I finally stumbled to my still flimsy functioning form, I called her back. She was, it seems, waiting for a cow to... drop a load. No, really. She was judging some sort of local contest which either compares size of droppings or has something to do with the droppings once they visit the ground. Tossing? I cannot quite recall. Only that I really wanted to laugh, chuckle, chortle, or something but those neurons were not quite connected even by then.

She is really looking forward to the trip. As am I. She just wanted to keep me aware that tomorrow is the day to pick her up. And, to pray the cow finishes soon so that she may go home. Even if I have improved 10,000 percent if that is possible, I still have limits and foibles which make her call meaningful. Even should I get past my foibles of memory and correct my inability to schedule irregular events, history would vindicate her obsession. Waiting in an airport in a nearly foreign land with so many questionable strangers is not a fun thing. The thought of it impels her to keep reminding me.

Regarding the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq, I have doubts. Getting out, staying for some reason... I would like to see a solid reassessment and choose more from there. The problem I have with a pull out of either or both rests with having no clear civil leadership which I trust to assess whether to pull out or restructure the wars let alone to pull out in such a manner that we do not undo any good we may have done in the regions. For those reasons, I want our troops kept in place until such a time as we have solid leadership and oversight in play. Beyond, I suspect keeping bases in one or both of those regions may be a good thing for shorter or longer terms. For me, in my little armchair world, planting a boot in Iraq was what this was about. Keeping it there goes with that. Rebuilding Iraq or Afghanistan? Meh. Oil? Are you stupid? Terrorism? Meh, to a degree, though planting a boot in the bad neighborhood sure deincentivizes state sponsorship, keeping it there is more of the same.

On another issue, one of my daily reads has been struggling with some things. A loss caused by someone who strayed from the Christian path (as I or she or we or whatever know and accept it). Something like that. When does sin not become a sin? I would guess when we accept that we have sin, when we feel sorrow and shame for the sin, then use the mechanisms we know to seek pardon for the sin, and then we go forth with an attempt to no longer sin. Failing? Yeah, okay, who does not fail? Christ and Mary, who was filled with grace, are the only two who might have a claim to that of all those I am aware. And yet, to live a life of sin? Further, what do we do with those people we love who live this life? Turning our backs is often cited as the means. And yet, to drop those we love while reaching out to those we do not know who do the same thing, seems... wrong too. All I know is that it is a tough world in which to be Christian. For me, I merely pray for guidance and do what I understand and believe to be right. The loss we feel when those people die is no less. And I am not sure it should be?

Here is an open reason why I disregard academia. Need more? How about this? Academia has always been hostile toward Christianity. Usually they do their dirty work in back room socialist style formats, hiding their hatred and bigotry. Now, they are open and upfront about it. It is not likely to improve. As I have said, I can see easily where I may be persecuted, to death, for my Christian faith in my lifetime in this country. On the good side, I have no problem doing that to a degree. It is sad to see a once great Christian nation giving in to this though.

Oh, and another interesting piece, albeit a European one and not technically regarding religion, is absolutely terrifying in the implications involved. Academia, again, at their collective political worst. (You will need to scroll up from the comments. I tried to get a page link to the actual article but was not able to do so.) That in spite of the actual realities of the notion of what that "protection" is legislated to defend.

Just some Sunday Ramblings. I have work to do. Dishes to be 'updated', bedding to be sorted, laundry to be done, and perhaps the home stereo will be put together. And then, empty boxes and other packing material to be handled, plus some more unpacking in the kitchen. I have been doing very well, very well indeed, in this little localized work tsunami. Oh, and that bill. I should write the check, put it in the envelope, fill that out, put a stamp on it, and in one of my breaks, walk it to the post office. I did miss out on the events of this weekend here in town, a great opportunity to have met and be seen, but I had no choice. Soon, or next year.

One out of two.

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The tv stand is together, but there is no time for the home stereo. Ouch, that lack of sleep is beginning to bite. I dragged around before finally getting to it but I refused to leave the work half done, so... here I sit at 3:00, looking like something Sam dragged in. Well, there was the little problem with the instructions. The stand can be set up 3 different ways. I had it pretty much put together once, but for the wrong configuration. I am surprised though, how well it went together, both times. I do not think I even thought I might swear if I did get a little huffy at myself for the first and wrong attempt. Aspirin and bed. Good night all.

Is survival outfitting still game?

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You know it is. I may be spending money on some things that bring doubt to my mission, and that is fine. I will choose some things which are not survival based. I will probably be buying some type of air conditioning and fans soon too. That changes nothing regarding my plans to become more sustainable or stocked.

I must admit to being a bit tripped up. There are so many things to do, so many products to buy, so many skills to gain, and an unknown timeframe within which to work. Money, as always, is tight. Stretching it in the wrong way may be luxurious foolishness. Or it may simply be seen as enabling other work to go forward in a carrot and stick manner. Back to the topic. I was stumbling through what to do. Many of the things I thought I had investigated well, it turns out, I had only scratched the surface regarding. Long term storage items, I now find, can be bought in bulk (25 or 30 pounds depending) which can then be parsed into either 5 gallon buckets or #10 cans, both can be sealed with moisture control devices. I have no idea how much to buy of any one, how much of one compared to the other, or how to solve that mathematical problem logically. As well, finding several of the items on the short term food storage list is proving very problematic. Some things simply are not available. Neither of those problems is insurmountable, it is just with 10,000 other things going on right now getting to them is proving... difficult.

In my reading of SurvivalBlog, I find many articles which either reinforce my notions or teach. This article gives me a very good idea of how to go forward in a more logical manner. Part of the confusion goes beyond what and how much, but where to start. This systemic thematic process discussed and practiced by the author is a hugely helpful article. I would say, in the most recent offerings, it is one of the finest pieces for my particular situation. I put it here both to show and hopefully remember.

At this point, there is not a lot I can do. My mother will be here and though she might like some of the notions, she is not here for that and probably not a great fan of the reason for the notion. As an older single woman these subjects are very frightening to her. Oh, sure, she is a big girl. But she has learned, over time, that everybody is limited and women much more so than men. So, though I will give her a rough outlay of what I would really like to do, show her some of the things I have done, and let her know she has a place so long as a total collapse can be foreseen enough to travel that far, I will not go too much further. Our work is simply about setting up the house in such a way that she will feel satisfied that her son can sort of muddle his way through a normative life a bit easier and with some comforts provided by a woman's mind and hands.

Then again, some things will be of benefit to us both. A clothes line will most likely go up. Air conditioning will probably go in, along with a few more fans. Food and devices, both survival and other, will be better stored in order to take stock and lay hands upon as needs require. Some of that which is dual use will be intentional, some of it not so much so. But for the next month, due to money being put into my home in these ways, and maybe a month after until I can regain control of my finances, I simply will be more cautious about spending too much in any way. One thing I am strongly considering, when she arrives, is becoming a member of Sam's Club. As a frugal to the bone woman, this will satisfy some of her worries and potentially some of my short term supplies. A case of tuna, a case of this, a case of that, things I will use and store.

After that, I will begin making better plans. Though I had really hoped to begin with rabbits this summer or fall, the thematic system seems to argue against that. Still, all plans are somewhat individualized, so I may go ahead with that. However, home security weighs strongly on my mind. This home, in no way, at this time, is secure. Dogs would have no problem gaining entrance, people might actually be entering as is. Then again, I have thought that before. Forgetful? Perhaps. But how I got out of a locked door, since I only lock the deadbolt when I leave and not the handle, I am still unsure. Never mind, just that I would like to secure this place a good deal better than it is currently. Short term and long term, including finding plants which would make entering ground level windows more than a bit problematic... the problem there? nothing seems to grow on the north side of the house, and of course the generic problem of finding a plant or plants which fit the clime. As well, I will be tracking down and pricing local medical training opportunities. Some may be free? I would like both the skills and practice involved, so some volunteer work may be in order. Getting past my... dread of medical... We will see. I have gotten over my dread of heat, so who knows.

So, just because I am currently adrift on the survival ocean, without seeming heading or bearing, while I am spending crazy money on non-involved issues, while my head is shoved into a workaholic pace on other things, I am very much alive and well in planning and assessing things... at least academically. That is no help in keeping unwanted critters out of my home nor will it feed me if the food system fails, but it is what I have. Further, I have been folding pieces of these plans into my other affairs... a bit at a time, like always.

Well, close.

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It only took 8 hours, give or take, to get something arranged. In spite of my efforts, the tv itself will not arrive until Tuesday. I suppose my mother can have one night of no television. The rest of the components are here, now. I just arrived home from my travels, ate a bit, and will rest for a short bit. I do hope to have the stand and home entertainment system together by bedtime. What a day.

I called my friend before I drove to town. He thought running around sounded fun. We had lunch at a sandwich shop. Oddly, they charge more for less meat. They do add provolone cheese. It is odd though, more meat for less? Then a trip to Wal-Mart to look at the television and such, a credit card issue, a drive home to check on that online and by phone, further complications. Then some decision making, a trip back into town to Sears to buy a television. I washed the Xterra, filled the gas tank, dropped my friend off, went to Wal-Mart for components, and finally home again.

I am not sure how much I will get done in the kitchen or anything else, but I am still going. Having not been able to sleep seems to be no problem whatsoever. Weird, but I will take it. I still have this evening and a home bound day tomorrow to do some odds and ends. Let me think this through... Laundry needs doing, probably 2 to 3 loads, light loads from the looks of things. I should sort bedding first, and throw that in. I am not sure how much that will add to the laundry? Cleaning pieces and parts of kitchen gear and placing it on the table, which needs to be well washed and dried first, just from general use though so no real work. And of course, putting the rest of the television subsystems together.

The only thing, I think, that I have not done is to get that final bill sent in the mail. I need to do that very soon. I can always walk it down to the post office even yet this weekend. It will not go out until Monday, but that should be fine.

You know, I really am doing better. Over lack of sleep, a slump day, and no cessation to the complications, I have stuck with things. Last hour hauling, multi-store shopping, heat, and whatever else have not stopped my progress. No, it is not good. A real champ would have had this in hand and done weeks ago. Well, with the wound? Maybe it is okay. Still, I think I have been... lazy too. I do not know for sure anymore. I am pleased though, with this last round of efforts and their fruit, even if it could or should have been done earlier. It is okay.