It might have been late...

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But it wasn't too late.  It was unnecessary but not too late.  At 15:00 I started plotting, at 16:00 I started figuring.  Before 17:00 I was on my way.  The pharmacy doesn't close until 18:00, so if we pushed it would be fine.  Thing is he picked up his medicine yesterday.  Someone else took him.  He turned off his phone today.  I think he was a little miffed.  Thought I had simply blown him off.  He was happy enough to see me anyway, mostly... or got over being mad quickly enough.  He wanted a magazine for one of his pistols and knew where one might be.  So off we went.  Then to the store for a few of my goodies, then to the gas station for fuel and a car wash.  Nothing fancy but I think he enjoyed the little escape.  A day late, a dollar short, or both at times, I told him.  But I'll do what I can, and did.  He suggested that he believes I care, and that's more than most, so it will do... he suspects.  All good.

Hot, but... not.  It was 100, at least, most of the time I was in town, if I had to guess.  Hot indeed.  But I didn't mind it, so long as I had water, and an occasional spot in which to shade.  It just wasn't all that bad.  While I was wearing shorts, they are the heavier true cargo shorts.  Wool socks and hiking boots on my toots, and a thicker black polo.  I wasn't exactly dressed for cool.  But I did have my canteen with.  Yeah, a mouthful of water here and there sure makes it easier.  Tomorrow I will be resting.  If I don't have to, or have anything real going on, no reason to stress.  I may mess in the garden, finish some planting, replanting, do a bit of hoeing, and set the water up for later.  Hmm, the water is probably mostly already set up, I only have one hose to move a bit.  My grass is looking green not  brown, not a bad thing.

I'd like to see my plants do more.  My mother suggested hoeing around the base of them before watering.  I just don't see that helping all that much but I'll give it a shot.  At worst it really can't hurt.  And I'll be out there working a few minor weed patches anyway, and planting much of what I have left.  More tomatoes will go in, the peppers that I have kept in trying to get bigger will just have to fly or die as well.  I do believe I will try to work some in the sun.  The sunscreen will get a workout.  Oh, and I'll refill the canteen and keep it with.  Just a spot every 15 to 30 minutes does a body good.  It's supposed to be in the 100 range again tomorrow.  Which is fine.  I need to get used to being a firecracker.

Later.

Oh, so you don't have to go digging for it:

 (Roughly to my girls.  Cat girls.)

Fang, tooth, fur and tail,
You spook, hiss, bite, and claw. Mean-
Love is mutual.

Natural sleep.

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Luscious.  Some of the best sleep I have had in a very long time was had today.  Somewhere between early morning and early afternoon.  I didn't set an alarm, I didn't try to go to bed early, I didn't psychically aim at a waking at any time.  Oddly, while I had used the ac to cool of my room deeply, I didn't keep it running.  The fan, sure, but...  Anyway...  I woke at 15:00, just about on the tick of the tick-tock.  I felt, and still feel, good.  I'm awake, now.  Right now, and from the time my conscious lungs inhaled first air.  Yum!

I called the pharmacy.  They are open.  I tried to call my friend but his phone said he wasn't available, in an odd way.  I'll try again at 16:00.  If he still isn't available I will simply shower, shave, dress, and head in.  Perhaps he needs a new phone card.  It's easy to lose track of that when you are ill.  Lordy knows I understand that and my friend has been very ill.  He's already looking and sounding better than I have been.  Though with a little sleep under my belt, a new nephilim war is sounding delicious.  Teh bother(tm).  Those days are gone and I have another Master and different priorities these days.  Still, the bloodlust, among other natural intents, veritably brims at times when health waxes.  Never le minde. 

Hmm, make it 4:30.

I'm hungry, to, like a bear.  Or more, I could eat a bear.  Yes, I think that is it.  New life is always ravenous.  Remember those dreams where you run from something?  Have you ever dreamed you are the thing chasing?  Yum!  The thing is, most run so dang fast.  Then again, it isn't their dream flesh that is delicious. 

Anywhile...  Yeah, a few tunes, a shower, grooming and dressing, and a quick drive.  A day late, as always, but... good for it when I can get to it.  Later.

Heiku Heights - Firefly

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I'm not sure if the contest presenter realizes, but the firefly is disappearing.  Not just in America, you haters, but around the world.  At least the scientists are on it.  Next will come the politicians and judges.  All the king's men and such.  I'm glad I'm not considered endangered.  They would ensure demise.

Inspired by the theme at

Yeah, well, it all looks good until your feet won't move.

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The idea was good.  The plan was simple.  All it required was a shower, dressing, and a short drive.  All that required was me standing up, setting out some clothes, and walking into the bathroom, setting up the water then getting in.  Somewhere between mass, gravity, and lack of intellectual cohesion, none of that happened.  So, here I sit.  I think the pharmacy will be open tomorrow.  I hope.  I think it is too late now.  That is as good as it gets some days.  I have been pushing my body for some time, against it's decided ways, sleeping at the wrong times, being awake at the wrong times.  Not even the napping really worked.  Ugh.  I'll... figure it out.  Still, it was fun to just push the cart ahead of the donkey.  I know I can still do it.  A little more constant stimulus and doing it more often would be a breeze, for a while.  Then I would just sleep for a day, at some point.  You should have seen me in my prime.

The preternatural might deserve deviant burials.  At least I don't think they will put a stone in my mouth or a stake through my heart or simply remove my organs, though and again with cremation possible in these times that may be good enough for their minds.  I did wonder why some of my kin were so keen on my interest in such.  *grins*  Then again, like I care.  If my spirit roams it won't return to fetid flesh in any case.  Boo!

I did have enough going to prep a few burritos.  Just a bit of fuel for the tank.  Now I have to let that settle.  Without a trip to town I may tinker on the w.heater tonight.  Well, when the day truly begins to cool off.  Oh, and I ought to water.  I'll put something on so as to not excite or anger the neighbors then set up the sprinklers so that a pull of the handle will see to the start of the thing.  With having to change placement, then get the sprinklers aimed just so it can take an half hour to set the things up.  I'll still have to spend a bit of time messing with the aim when I start, but when in place, that cuts most of the hassle.  Might as well water the other other stuff too.

My body has ironed out most of the kinks from the odd sleep.  A few kinks left but that is the price for pushing.  Hmm, maybe my mother simply displaced the varian root stuff to her bedroom?  Oh, and, if she stole it outright?  No problem.  First... women are thieves.  Don't take that as a judgment or scourging, just understand it's... a part of how they have always worked, a natural thing... and... something I sort of enjoy.  She's your woman, mother, sister, love or such, when she feels free to do so.  Second, in this particular case, if she stole, she more than earned it.  I just wish, if she did, she would tell me so I could have, or known to have, replaced it.  Then again, she might just have forgotten.  Or... told me when I wasn't listening... gah!

Oh, an oddity?  I almost never have a search lead to site visits here.  The only one I have seen, in ages, was a search for my blog address, which... doesn't count, in my book.  I have my blog set up to not show up in searches though to, for whatever that really means.

Later.

I wrestled with the notions as long as I could.

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Last night I lost.  I stayed up until nearly 6:00.  The cool was just to enjoyable.  This time I didn't, as I usually do, just put that ac on for a few hours.  I let it run the whole time.  And I slept.  While it was a good long sleep, it was a bit of a lousy sleep.  Until I get on some kind of schedule, whether it be day or night, my sleep probably won't even be able to be good.  I call it sleeping at an angle.  Sometimes I have no choice but to mess with it though.  I just, I suppose, shouldn't do it for long.  It will naturally stroke back around, I think, but usually not the way I took it.  I just woke, so still haven't called my friend.  After a bite to eat, I will give him a call.  I think the pharmacy will still be open for a bit.

Yeah, waking after sleeping sideways is always rough.  Bones seem to hurt, joints seem out, muscle groups seem pulled as a group.  I don't know why that is it just is.  Has been even since I was young and did this.  Today it isn't all that bad, and by the feel of the thing it might be gone before long.  The worst of it can, even assuming no further sideways sleeping, lead to days of suffering.  I have no idea why one days is worse than another either.  Crap.  I think my mother absconded with the valarian root stuff I had.  While here, I told her to use some, if she was sore.  She used some alright!  Then again, she might have just used it up.  Oh, she'll either have forgotten, or tell me she told me.  Although, like most women, they tell you what they don't want to tell you when they can tell you are clicked down, or with a lot of other data, so they know you don't hear it.  They can even mask the data they are sending through voice modulation.  Don't let em' tell you otherwise.

Hmm... late lunch then a call to my friend.  Later, gator.

Rested and about bedtime. Perhaps a meal first?

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No complaints, if even as the world has cooled I am still only cooling myself.  I just get a ball of fire in my belly and it doesn't leave.  Oh, I can keep it for a while, so long as I can cool off a bit from time to time.  With nights getting into the 50's and 60's I have no problems doing that.  When they only drop into the 70's, or I can't feel it, then I need a little bit more, like the ac.  Actually, I am doing much better this way.  I used to need my world to be in the 60's.  At that time, in Iowa, it wasn't a comfort thing.  I really got ill in the heat.  Green about the gills anyway.  High humidity, though, there, might have been some of the difference, especially with a 'wet' lung that wasn't being treated.  Then again, I could handle temps down to 20 below without much trouble, seriously.  Getting older though to perhaps?

I keep thinking about a movie I had thought to see.  All I remember from the previews, and within the last three to five years... a soldier in some future time had been lost in battle (I presume, somehow separated).  It was thought that he was dead.  The enemy was some sort of machines, or computer system which created/controlled the bots.  At some point the man returns, but his memories are lost or garbled.  Initially he is put back into combat, but something makes his group suspicious.  As it turns out, the man is all, or mostly, cyborg.  The trailer didn't go into complete detail.  The question was whether he could be trusted, whether any part of him remained, or whether he was an enemy.  The man/thing was totally unaware that he had been turned into a 'borg.  I've been looking for some time, I just can't find it.  I'll look another day.  Not sure the movie is even worth the watch, but... it definitely has potential.  It wouldn't have been a big seller.  Women don't go to such and men, real men, at the very least single ones, have mostly abandoned the movie theater.

Not bad.  Now to wake early tomorrow.  Perhaps a nap before it gets to hot but in time for a trip to town.  A bit there, and another restful evening before digging into the bathroom.  Hmm... but food before rest.  Burritos, beef and bean, I do believe.  Yum!  Later or more likely good night.

A few thoughts as I prepare to close the hatches and dive.

A nap in the heat.

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I can't remember how far into the afternoon I made it today after returning, 15:00 to 17:00 is my guess.  Exhaustion, however, from trying to change my schedule, and the trip, finally brought me to ground.  *lights out*  I set the ac to run while I tried to get a nap in.  It simply didn't matter.  The fire of midday, until cooling begins, is felt through the home, over the ac and fan, and something inside of me responds to it.  While I was, with all the help, able to sleep a bit, I was roasting the whole time.  I don't know if it is biological or... something else.  Some questions make me nervous so I don't look all that closely.

The Burning

the glow of the day

torched, tortured, sweating, red

fervid life uncoils

Yeah, you know I'm a story teller, possibly a bit of a mystic (if, and fairly, not by choice), and some other things.  There is a general air of truth to things I write, or that bother and haunt me.  A grain.  I paint my stories with broad strokes, and imbue them with the emotional feel as much as the real.  A child pouting over not getting candy, if pictured rightly in words, could lend the notion that the world was ending, mind you.  Still, there are things in there, real things, like nuggets hidden by the chocolate.  A good surprise if you like nuggets, a distasteful thing if your heart was set on pure chocolate. 

The point is, though, that I did get some rest.  I woke ready to let rest, cut, and serve though too.  The nice thing is I woke just in time for the world to begin cooling, so I won't suffer doubly.  And rested, I should enjoy a bit of the evening.  Probably as much as I would want.  I know at Burning Man, I intend to attempt the same thing, sleeping through the heat.  Of course, no ac there, just a temperature differential, which might mean going out in the heat for a bit first in order that the temp difference means something, 80-100 is only cool when compared to 90-110.  But it is a difference.

I need to get going on some things but I am still getting bogged down, this time with changing my day around.  Tomorrow I have to be back in town in the afternoon, and hopefully deal with some business.  I'm not going to push things tonight.  Saturday, if things are going well, then I might start back up in the bathroom.  With the ac to counter the hot work, or step out into when needed at least, that should work well enough.  Just a bit more to do, I hope.  I sure like the new torch.  It is much hotter, but the speed increase more than makes up for that.  If you like to sweat and take your time, stick with propane.  If you want it done fast and prefer less overall heat, go with mapp gas.  I didn't compare prices, since I already had propane, not sure if it is that much more when you just start out.  I'm sure I can use the propane for something?

Just rambling as I cool and wake.  Later.

Late but no blood so no foul?

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I was moving slow.  Not much I could do about it.  You try to lug around 280 pounds of dead weight.  I got in though, and he was ready to go.  A stop for something to drink, a cola for me, root beer for him.  And, while I walked in he had the first smoke he has had in days.  Ugh, I bet that put him back in his chair!  A trip to pick up his medication and a humidifier.  I had to really talk him into it.  There was no price tag anywhere.  I promised to look for a price scanner, but if we didn't find one we could just leave it at the counter.  My guess was $20, $35 max.  He was guessing $50 to a hundred.  A few aisles over I spotted a price checker, $19 even.  He supposed he could do that.  With medicines and that he wanted milk and... other stuff.  Not much.  I was wearing out though too.  Oh, right, one of his medications wasn't in, but they thought it would be in tomorrow by 14:00, so I do need to get back in.  Hopefully I can get some of my shopping done as well.  Milk, liquid soaps, and a few other things.

On the way to his place we grabbed lunch at a drive through then on to his place.  He feared it would be ferociously hot.  Thankfully he had left his ac on and no one had seen fit to go in and turn it off.  Thankfully they probably didn't know he was gone.  I ate but he got a bloodY nose as soon as he entered.  Hmm, so there was blood.  Does that mean I fouled, or since it was later am I still good?  Never mind.  Humidifier... I've been trying to edge him into one for a while now.  Even the doctors advice almost wouldn't get him to buy one.  It's only big enough for one room, and you have to fill it every day, but anything else would have been too much for him, at least for now.  Then again, there wasn't a single other type available and only two of this kind.  If that helps him, perhaps someday he may get a bigger, longer lasting one.  I might consider getting one myself, for my bedroom at least.  I simply don't have the cash for a large outlay for a whole house good one myself.  Though if I only had two rooms, as he does, I could get a decent one.  Anyway, that pretty much ended the day.  He is feeling a lot better though.  Of course, they have, in this last week or two, given him about six or seven units of blood, and a bunch of quick application high dose iron.  And, if they take care of that heart valve, he might be a new man for a while.  Ugh, I say.

I still plan to get up early, just because.  It's been a struggle but I have been doing it.  My body wants to be asleep.  It wants to sleep through as much of the heat as it can.  Strange to realize we have to force our bodies to do what they don't want.  The idea that this gets us ahead?  Or even that waking against our nature is healthy?  I don't know about that.  Then again, with my health, even little struggles become sort of epic.  I don't know if I will last regarding waking at 8:00-10:00, but who knows.  Maybe I will acclimate to it.  Coffee, even chilled as I prefer it this time of year, is not helping.

Oh, I think someone is watering my plants!  The flowers my mother put out.  I am not sure they are doing it wisely.  I do it after the sun has set (on them), but they are already very wet.  I know the pots don't hold water that well.  I'm going to have to see if my mother set someone to the task and have them stop.  I need to keep on up these things myself, or flounder, but doubling down will kill the plants just as quickly as no watering.  Yeah, she might do such a thing.  Meddling, I say.  Then again, perhaps a neighbor is just trying to help.  Which would be fine save that I am watering them every other day, skipping a day if it looks wet.  I've even been clearing off the dead flowers in hopes new flowers will pop.  Watering the rose bushes too, which really does allow them to stay in bloom, if that has been iffy.  If someone was to help, watering those and the rhubarb would have been helpful, I kept forgetting those.   But pink?  What idjiot chose pink?  Must have been a woman type.  Bleh.  Pink?

Okies.  Later.

Morning Fu.

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Ah, finally.  My friend called a bit ago to let me know they are finally releasing him.  Now, he has to pick up medications, get a humidifier and get that going, then set up a surgery for early next week.  When he said it would be a five hour surgery, I didn't think there would be time for it to be open heart, though perhaps these days it's quicker so I had to ask.  Nope, wires, all done with wires through an opening in the hip.  Waking early all this week is making this easier but I am dragging.  A bit o' coffee, writing, then a shower, and I should be off in another 20 minutes.  Or, that's the theory.  I bet he will be glad to be home, though no telling.  Yeah, probably.  They most likely were giving him the patch.  As he would say, if you can't smoke, stuff it, save that he needs whatever of it he can get.  I keep trying to switch him to chewing, it IS a patch:)

Yes, I suspect I will be busy today, getting those things done.  Putting a humidifier together isn't too heavy, though he may prefer to do that.  I'll know shortly.  I'll take some tools, just in case.  I think a lot of his tools are at his sisters home still.  The appointment is his to make and the medicine can be picked up while we get the humidifier.  Hmm... I wonder if he is hungry?  I know one critter that is.  Later.

It isn't just Sam feeling better.

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I had thought to bring her in for dinner.  She blithely and boldly prowled toward me, with strength and surety when I went to call her (kidnap her, she doesn't come in easily).  And, when I brought her dinner she ate with gusto, though with her usual grace.  Sassy is a devourer of worlds bound in a cat, Sam is a past queen, a well mannered one, I think.  In a bit I will set the sprinklers for an hour or two on the drier patches and sit with her.  She loves company on her turf.

Ah, as I was saying, I think something is coming back for me.  I don't know why it comes or goes, it just does.  As I have assured D.C. though, with the stimulus at BMan, I don't have to worry about that.  My guess is the sound will be vibrating right down to our bones.  There is some potential for over-stimulation.  But you are talking to a man who has stayed up for 10 days.  Awake the whole time.  Yeah, I saw things that time.  And I have lived in much more... exciting... events.  While all that has been some time past, I am not a virgin to heavy hard loud things.  So, I suspect I can handle it.  Worst case, I find a quieter place and sack out.  Doubt if I will need it, just sleeping when and how I can works easily short term.  My mother keeps proving that.  Anyway, whatever has plagued me is at least on the way out.  Personally, since the rebound comes as the sun begins to shine again, I highly suspect it is totally weather related.  Well, maybe not.  I seem to have puffed up again a bit.  That is coming and going.  Might have to take an extra quarter dose of the water pill for a few days.  That wet lung feeling is just annoying.  The pickle juice did handle the dehydrated feeling a bit.  I broke that up this morning, through, as well, with a form of ill luck.  As I was taking my medicines, the magnesium pill went into one of the hatches it shouldn't have.  It just tickled, really.  I thought it must have just been a bit of water, until the tickling forced some odd foul bodily behavior which caused the pill to fly from where it was caught, out of my mouth at my horrored surprise, to be caught mid-air, not wanting to have to hope the five second rule would apply to medicine should I have missed it and not knowing what pill it was at that second.  Reflexes are still good, by the way.  It veritably shot out of my body.  In any case, that allowed me to clear up some of the dried up snotters in there.  I told you, brutally good luck... just bad enough to understand how good it ends up.  Which can be pretty bad before my leg grows back, or whatever.  :p

Ugh but the human body is a fucking mess.  Even sex, if you think about it.  Messy, dirty, odd, smelly, and funny looking.  But it seems to work.  What kills me is when a woman thinks engines are dirty and greasy.  :p  Woot!  I'm just about back in the saddle and ready to start mucking around with my world again.  Oh happy days.  I have things to do!  Hmm...  I have the bathroom of course, and would like to clean my bedroom.  True.  Plus I have at least one outfit to put together.  There is that.  Maybe another with things coming my way, but the second would be relatively easy the way I would do a kilt.  I am just wondering if there is time to put a solar oven together in time to at least ponder taking, especially since we have joined the he-man alt-energy band of brothers?  I'll think on it.  Might not have room, but it would give me something to shoot for.  Might end-cap push the rest of my projects a bit...  Hmm...  Yeah, why don't I add that to the list.

Later.

Just some ditties I needs must ponder.

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Don't know what is disturbing my tea, but the ripples run clean through.

I wouldn't bother, 'twere I you.  Nothing, perhaps, you haven't seen before.  But when put together, probably not the type of my trash you want to dig through.  It's where I live, at times, so I musts do this task.  Music allows me to sort some things.

There is strong hope, but the price is dear.  Now... shoo... if you know what's good for you.
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Something in here is haunting me.  It isn't the only thing wrong.  It's about half of it.  Never quite sure how to make the spooks go away.  Broken... shattered really...  Or at one time.  The repairs were good, it is just that psychic bone spurs still cut the soul from time to time.  It's as good as it gets here.  And those spurs can be useful when they aren't crippling.  Everything is a double edged sword... even a mended one.  Bastard, in many ways, but loved.

I'm taking the weekend off.  Probably.

By the One

Born of a reckless

nature, of things here and there.

Bastard!- But loved.

Haiku Heights - Crescendo

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Oh, right. If you wish to present, visit Haiku Heights and this page specifically. You could always simply visit the poets who have submitted pieces as well.

Inspired by the theme at

Whatever.

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I have heard nothing from my friend.  I'm not really peeved at him.  Perhaps they have had to keep him longer, perhaps his sister got involved and took the show over.  I've got a mom, I know how that can work.  Mom, sister, daughter, wife, girlfriend... when you are low they can be like bulldozers.  By the time you know what happened you are sleeping it off somewhere.  That is, again, assuming they didn't decide to do something right then and there.  Perhaps they saw that his valve was cracked, and that was what was losing blood, and the micro heart attack opened it so that it was spilling far to fast.  No choice.  Dunno, haven't heard, but since it's his surgical potential I feel much more inclined to be fanciful!  :p

At about 11:00 or noon or... something... this changing schedule stuff is for the birds by the way.  I slept rather lightly, too.  But I did not hear anyone knock at the door, or the doorbell, or get a phone call.  But I found the medicine out back, in a sealed container, on the rocks.  It was amazingly cool given that they set the thing in the sun.  I almost through out the icey packs, but... thought to check.  Reusable?  Waste not want not, same with the packing they came in.  Excellent for little things.  I was told I needed to be here, that I needed to sign.  And yet no serious knock, or even a call?  Nothing liking grinding my innards about this and that to simply dump and run.  Don't really care as long as I received the stuff.  I just hate the melodrama I am often faced with to find out how... silly it all was.  Bleh.

I brought Sam in, to her minor consternation, before my nap.  She slept up with me, as did Sassy.  The girls are getting full access for a few days.  While Sam likes coming in as much as a child likes to be put to bed, her fussing is weak and she ends up enjoying the time in.  I actually found the medicine when I let Sam back out.  I had no clue it was here until then.  I'll let her be out for a few hours, until I water a few dry patches.  She is doing better, mostly.  She is eating a bit more, but still mostly just treats... Hmm, no, I did catch her eating dry food.  Oddly she is staying away from wet food, her favorite.  I wonder if my brand put out a bad batch?  Hmm, not so much.  Sassy would have gotten sick as well.  Probably.  Just... wondering.

The hard part about changing my schedule around isn't just sleeping and waking, but the general feel that I am off, up at the wrong time, and uncomfortable.  I think my body conforms to being awake and asleep when it is comfortable for it to be so.  Whether it wants to play in the heat, or avoid it, whether by feel or physical need, either, I can't tell.  I wonder, when I push to be awake at times that are at variance with how things turn out, if I am stressing my health.  It might seem odd to you.  But when you realize most people don't survive my health, even with the 6% improvement, on medication and with treatment, for more than three to four years while I have survived for 21 years before treatment and between two and three years of treatment now... you have to wonder if there isn't something innate to how I do things that helps my struggle for survival.  When being a rock is needed, fine.  Otherwise, be a willow.  Now, being a rock with the qualities of the willow?  Ba-by!  :p

Blathering, just woke.  Not... my... fault.  Later.

Oh, I figured out why SiteMeter and Google Analysis are so far off Bloggers own stats... They don't, mostly, include foreign clicks.  Historically about 1/5th to 1/7th of my hits are foreign.  Russian are mostly suspect, if I think some of the hackers have learned to enjoy, or mockingly so read, my posts.  I can tell if they are "working" or not by which post they zing.  Now, Singapore, Malaysia, and whatever, are highly suspect.  Britain, Spain, Germany...  Unknown.  A bit suspect but not beyond the realm of possible simple interest matching up or folks I might have happened to know looking in.  It is a very small little world, even when you throw heaven and hell into the pot... given that time is a function only as the womb is.  Never le mind.   

No call?

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I expected a call already but none has come.  It is too late to go, as my medicine was set to arrive in the afternoon.  They couldn't be more specific.  It isn't just about the medication, but about saying something then doing it, that is being here when I said I would.  Like it or not, unless I literally can't hold to my word, I keep it.  Which is why I don't often give my word.  Not that I won't but that I can't.  It's a quiet honesty, and as good as I can do in my current form.  A day, perhaps, a week, sure.  Maybe a month.  I simply can't maintain.

It is a nice day.  The sun is out, it is warming as it should.  I might water a couple of areas of the lawn that seem a bit drowsy, but I won't be triple watering everything, with the rain and the long watering last time.  Let them dry out a bit.  Everything will be ready for a hit Friday.  Well, I might hit the flowers in the pots, and the roses, while seeing to Sam.  If she isn't looking too good, I'll bring her back in.  Summer and sun girl that she is, I am wondering if she liked it a bit too much.  Crazy cat-brained girl type!  Hmm, might bring her in anyway.

Later.

The sun is up, things seem to be better.

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Having the 'runt' back is good.  Of course, now she is a headache.  :p  More ornery than ever in her passive little ways, and knowing she has me over a barrel.  Where did I put my squirt gun again?  Well, not quite that.  I think she is still just wonderfully happy to be home herself.  I won't spoil it, yet.  When she gets older and grumpier, she might understand how novelty wears faster?  Sam...  I wasn't going to let her go outside for a while.  But this morning, she got up, walked to the door almost as if she was back to health, and begged.  I really had to think about it.  I let her go, but made sure to put out fresh water and food.  I'll be out checking on her.  If I get called to town I will be bringing her into the cave, at least until I return.

I dreamed, sometime between when the first time the alarm went off and waking.  I called the V.A. about the medicine coming in.  There was something about something, then the nurse put me on hold, but not a real hold she just cuffed the phone in her hand.  She asked another nurse to check on combat status.  The other nurse, after checking, replied "indeterminate".  So the nurse speaking to me put the phone back to her ear and asked me some nonsensical question.  Oddly, I knew the nonsensical answer, or one, not through knowledge, I just responded.  I don't know if that answered her question, or what the whole thing truly was about, but I got what I needed.  Somehow, though talking to her on the phone, I had called from the V.A. in question.  After ending the call I just went to the desk, got the medications I was there after, then left.  A nurse in the pharmacy, another oddity of the call (dressed in the yea olde nurse garb, with cap).  Then again, she may actually have been at a clinic...  Hmm...  Not sure.  Details are fuzzy though...  Did I pick the medicines up at the clinic?  Hmm...  Never mind.

A little stiff and sore, but not bad for swinging my day around this quickly.  The last late day, two days ago, I was sleeping until 15:00, give or take, I do believe.  So waking by 9:30 this morning and 10:30 yesterday is quite a shift.  Not bad for an old dog, if I napped hard yesterday.  I've even been remembering my medicine.  I just need to, well, call the V.A. about those medicines.  There is a good chance they won't know who is delivering the goods, or how to contact them though.  Oh, someone does, but someone might be on break, not working, not available, or otherwise indisposed.  Not really a complaint about the V.A. mind you, a gripe about danged reality!  Where's my cane so I can wave it in the air, threateningly, at no one in particular.  No one is directly related to someone, by the bye, if you are into geneology and sich.

Well, later.  Don't die, probably don't kill any one (also related to no one and someone) unless they sorely need it.  Then do it quickly (and check their wallet, if the type that need killing often need killing because they misspent everything Zero and co. (you) gave them).  Still, you never know.

To bed really early.

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I should be in bed well before 2:00 this morning.  Looks like I might be able to dial it back.  Having Sassy back is a great relief.  Seeing Sam eat something was good.  She has tried to vomit a time or two but I can't tell if that is just a hairball or if she is trying to expel something bad.  She hasn't had the strength to complete it.  She is staying clean though, and does eat a bit.  I don't know about drinking but I will be looking at that more closely.  I am hoping she will just pull out of it.  These few things take a load off the mind, a bit.  Sleep comes easier with a few reassurances and Sassy's return.

The thermo says 75 in here tonight.  It feels much cooler.  It almost feels winterish.  The pickle juice may be doing it's trick.  I don't conflate the two though.  My chill isn't a dehydration thing.  I have been drinking enough.  It is something else, I just can't place it.  I don't get sick often, so I don't have the lore that goes with it.  I am thinking it is, if anything, the heart being a bit off, as I suggested.  Never mind, I'll roll around.  Perhaps what is getting Sam is getting me too?  We seemed to have hit rough times at about the same time.  If so I am guessing it is weather related.  We are in a cool, to me, time.  If it isn't health, then it is atmospheric, where the temp doesn't seem right... or such.  Who knows.

I will set the alarm for 8:00 again.  Hopefully I can wake well enough and early enough to make a call and check on the medicine, and if that pans out head to town to pick up my friend.  Worst case scenario I just do that and hope, but go quickly.  I'll see if he needs anything when I get him home, and if need be come back to town and get that and my other stuff sorted.  Business, you know.  But friendships first, if my health has to be tended.  Juggling.  But that's all good.

Good night.

The baby is back!

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Every few hours I have been checking and calling, since she went missing.  Tonight, as it turned dark, I was just going to turn on the back light and look.  In she strolled, meowling to let me know she wanted in, all the way into the kitchen, following me around as I got her a meal ready and poured fresh water.  She was as happy to see me as I was to see her.  I then tried to get Sam to nibble the treats but she wouldn't.  Now, her tail flicked a bit with Sassy on my tail, so...  I am hoping her little sister will invigorate, or irritate, her back to health.  Love, it comes in many forms?  Brats!  But they are my brats, and I am their rascal.

As for me?  Pickle juice, I think.  I am hoping it clears up the dehydration without inciting the 'wet' feel.  That and water on the side.  If that doesn't work I'll buy a case of beer tomorrow.  I told you, I have used alcohol as a curative, accidentally and purposefully.  And it works more often than not.  Just... so you know.  I guess I became a medicine man, of sorts, for my peculiar biology, out of need.  Docs often don't know shit, and won't share out what they do know for fear it will cost them a client or a court case, and psychopathogens (psych- ologists and -iatrists) know even less... far less, charlatans!  Bah!  So beer.  Beer works in this phase, whiskey seems to make it worse.  Whiskey is better for psychiatric and spiritual remedy.  Well, in this hereabouts.  Just a plug and pull thing, once in a while, though usual light consumption often means no larger doses.  I've been lax on my beer-fu and whiskey-'ku lately though.  Yum!

Later or good night. 

Sam isn't the only one off the feed bag.

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Okay, really, it's not that I can't eat.  I'm just dragging around like her.  I did take food and water to her, specifically.  None of that was interesting to her.  I tried some kitty treats, which she did take.  I took food outside and called for Sassy again.  No results.

As for me?  I can't drink enough to feel hydrated and yet my lungs feel 'wet'.  Oh, right, that stuff D.C. and foam suggested.  I just haven't been to town.  Tomorrow, if they release my friend from hospital prison, I'll be in.  I'm not sure if it will help, I am not sure that is the problem.  But there is still some oddness in the lungs, just too weak even bother trying to hack it up?  Dunno.  A minor down period, though I am still doing little things.  Oh... wait... I have a medicine coming tomorrow that has to be signed to receive.  Hmm.  I will try to get up early and give them a call to know what I can do, what time they are coming.  I think I had planned for afternoon, but can't swear to it.  Ugh!

And, of course, the ghosts are just there, nibbling at my edges.  Afraid, or two weak themselves, to face me head on, they just bite while my head is turned.  Damned things anyway.  Then again, I am their father.

Oh, life gets better.  Like strength, my luck is dumb but brutally good.  But in it's raging nature, I do lose things, if usually just long enough to know what I am missing.  Time...

Sure, I'm at a bit of a standstill.

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That doesn't mean the gears have shut down.  I've been trying to think of a project for here at home.  While I have done maintenance, I haven't actually been creative.  When I finish the bathroom, and clean that room, I am going to begin planning an interior design project.  One room, possibly my bedroom or this, the computer room, is the target.  Nowhere near as high end, or even all at once.  A piece at a time, but solid pieces.  But more, a bit of paint, perhaps a bit of structure, that sort of thing.  And, really, starting by creating a roadmap and then beginning on it.  The whole cave would be too big to attempt at this point.  So, yes, just one room.  I have decided the theme.  Art Deco.  Oh, strange to be sure, to some folk.  But it has been of interest to me for a very long time.  A little fanciful period, here and gone, some say before I lived.

Not all art deco is to my taste.  There are elements of it I enjoy greatly.  The large structures, for example, do not work.  The Empire State Building, for example, might be beautiful, in a way, from afar.  If you live in it all of the charm is gone.  What, seen from a distance as alluring, looked out from, to my mind, seems more as a prison.  The elements of art deco I did enjoy, and still do, are the more personal, minor, and decorative touches.  Take a look at hood ornaments of the period, or in that mold, if you wish for a more likely set of notions.  Certainly, I do believe, it is a more manly art.  I could be wrong, but that is how I have always seen it.  Sure, there was Frank Lloyd Wright and Tiffany lamps for the ladies.  But women always have to be thrown a bone to say we are at least trying, or so it goes.  *rolls eyes*  Bribery works, I suppose.  Metal, glass, and wood, form wise, are where it is at for me.  Not so much most of the art or forms otherwise, unless they resemble those.  To be more precise about what of art deco catches my eye.

Imagine that desk, sized to my proportions, made for a corner, with a plush chair that allowed me to recline and view, or even nap?  Just... thinking.  Urhm, with an underdesk keyboard pullout, mind you.

Some pieces, potentially, over time, I might even be able to craft.  Oh, it would be tricky.  Bending wood takes a watertight system large enough to hold the pieces to be molded.  It might even have to be large enough to curl the wood around the form in stages.  The woodwork would be intricate and demanding.  Though the wood working system could be somewhat shoddy so long as it worked for the short term, as this wouldn't be a business.  Meaning I could cut corners and take a few more risks since the thing wouldn't be to scale, based on a loan, with a business plan demanding cutthroat tactics.  Then again, and as well, minor flaws in the product would not be an issue as I would be both the maker and end user.  I have been... itching for some work.  Though I probably ought to put together a solar oven or two, and a bench or two, and perhaps some shop lockers, and some other (more) minor things, before even thinking of something like this.  Still...

Hey, what have I got to lose in dreaming?  Later.

Oh, a bit of weeding, while calling for the prodigal daughter, then going out to where I thought I heard her.  I heard her when I didn't have shoes on, and she wouldn't come to me.  When I went out with shoes she, or whatever cat, was gone.  Sure sounded like her.  Then I thinned the corn.  I will wait for the turnips and kohlrabi to get a little taller, so as to have greens large enough to steam.  I just hating wasting good greens, now that I have a minor taste for them.  Hmm, ought to thaw some bacon to fry to add with it.  Combined that is a complete meal in my book. 

To bed early so as to wake early.

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A bit of pushing and I was to bed by 4:00.  *chuckles*  Well, that was earlier than yesterday.  I set the alarm for 8:00, roughly woke at 7:00 then went back down.  Slept roughly, reset the alarm from 8:00 to 9:00.  I heard the alarm so hit the snooze a few times to wake at... 10:30?  Hmm...  Interesting.  I hadn't heard from my friend, so I was hoping he hadn't simply expected me to be in at 10:00?  I was sitting down to begin my morning report when he called.  Oh, it did end up deciding to rain last night.  Not sure how much but it looked sloppy wet until the sun was up for an hour or three.  All good.  I don't think I have to fear over-watering at this point.

They are keeping him.  I should have teased him about whether he should decide that means he is big enough like a fish, good enough like a husband to a woman, or whether they just like "practicing" with him.  I just wasn't awake enough.  A few more minutes and he would have gotten the payload.  It really is how I roll, like it or lump it, can't change it.  They want to drain more water from his chest.  And they say he needs a new heart valve.  Heart surgery is a spooky thing, but I think he is good for it.  I won't do such a thing, but that's because I am ornery.  Thankfully such things wouldn't help... if I think they would still like to replace the heart.  Nope!  Pound sand, ain't flaying me.  Then again, I don't think he will need anti-rejection drugs... though they will be opening him up.  Those being my two objections.  Every mannish critter has his own lines in the sand though.  I'd certainly support his choice, especially if I get to watch!  :p

I let Sassy out last night and forgot to let her in?  I've been calling, off and on, since 7:00.  I feel terrible, especially with a couple of toms around.  I am keeping Sam in, for a while.  She has been so tired and off her feed.  I thought she was getting into poison or something.  Then I thought it was the lack of sun.  Now I know, after last night.  A pack of toms has been around.  They might be fixed though, they seem very domestic.  Then again...  I just didn't put two and two together, though, until this morning, really.  Sam wants to go back out but that isn't happening until Sassy is in and a couple of days have passed.  Blueball has a way of driving toms away.  If that is their gig.

Hup, best get to trying to turn this morning awakening into something.  I'm not, even now, running on full steam.  Some of my problem relates to missing medicines, not taking them ""exactly"" on time.  Ffffttt!  My intentions are good, my pills are right here, I've been keeping them stocked, it just isn't always getting done.  Although that isn't all of the problem, and might be more the result of a symptom.  I'm not on my own feed bag, of various types.  Something is just a wee off.  I'll work through it if I can get up.  I think the ghosts are drifting away, a bit, for the moment.  While they weren't hammering me, their essence was draining, a little at a time, at a constant pace.  It was quite wearing.  Hmm... how about some cheesy mac and tuna?  That puts some oats in my wood.  Well, if you insist, which... knowing you you do...  Okies.  Later.