Saturday, December 12, 2020

A second wind.

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I wasn't sure I'd make it.  I decided to have a spot to eat.  More taco salad.  Yes, it gets old fast.  Still, I was slightly hungry.  I also held out some hope that a touch of food might help.  Further, I heated the place.  That helped.  I was then able to stay awake longer.  Almost too long?  Well?  It's an odd life I live.  The girls have has several treats.  I think another meal and that should be good.  As well, I will water the rabbits shortly.  Again?  Or should I just bring them in?  They will only get a short time to drink, and being dark, they may never get over and drink.  Yeah, I'll bring it all in for the night.

I ended up playing the new game for parts of the day.  It's something.  More active than web surfing.  I am slowly figuring things out.  Oh, I know fps and rpg's, but every game cuts it's own control paths through to such genres.  This game is no different.  Though, even if all the keying was the same, the aspects, reaction times, and else, would be different.  Definitely a learning curve for every middling to larger title.  If I'm not sure I, currently, would call this a major title.  Time will tell, I reserve judgment.

A bit haggard, from a rough night, recent pushing (if getting nowhere), and more to come... plus weather and season.  It's getting cold and dark, with little to be done for it.  If I had a few coin, I might take a trip south.  Not to Vegas, but to some small town closer to the border.  A place where sunlight is greater.  And, I'd plan it based on weather reports... seeking three or four sunny warmer days.  And I would drive.  It's... the only way to fly... these days.

Yea.  I will get the waterers in, feed the girls once more, do a bit of research on a part of the game I'm not sure how to proceed regarding, then to bed.  I have a foggy notion about how to solve my game problem, but was crashing so just saved and exited.  I just didn't want to fight through tears of exhaustion to try.  But... got a second wind... actually a second second wind for the day.  Odd how that can work out.  So, now, I'll check out clues.  Then take care of a few things.  Then on to bed.  Good night.

A rather oddly rough day.

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I crashed, after getting the ducks out, watered, and all else for chores.  Well, a bit after that.  It was between 10:00 and 11:00 when I went down.  I went down hard.  I started to wake around midafternoon, perhaps around 15:00 or later.  I wasn't able to crawl out until 17:30?  Memory sucks.  Not sure I looked, though, either.

The rabbits still had fluid water.  I fed them yesterday.  And ducks were good.  The girls needed fed though.  Yea, they get fussy when not fed.  I can miss a meal, once in a while, but not often or regularly.  This meal was just a bit late, so all good.  Can tell by their mood.  I just put the ducks in, several hours on.  Rabbits need fresh water, which is next on the list.  I closed the rabbits in, pulling the tarps down.  So, just a bit of fresh water in an hour or so.  I can only do so much, and in the cold, at once.

Ah, the game arrived, unbroken, and everything worked.  I created a toon, played a bit.  Glitchy?  A bit, but not horrible.  And there is a patch out, but I wanted to see raw form.  I got through various parts, to where I could save, then did so.  I went on to marker for the start of the first mission.  As I was approaching it, the game crashed.

I got it resetting, then went and did a few things.  Actually, I set it up to install the update as well.  When I returned everything was ready.  I have only played through the next minor mission and a first step into the next series of events.  What I didn't like is everywhere.  The glitches?  As I said, to be expected.  The quotas are not only in the game, they obviously were party to the production process.  It's obvious.  Sad to see another company become converged so quickly.

I'll play it.  Avoiding what I can of the trash that is possible.  So be it.  Other than that, not much is unexpected.  It plays, very roughly and not so vividly, pretty much otherwise as expected.

I may have to go on back to bed for a bit.  I think my heart was just about running away with me while sleeping earlier.  My neck arteries were sore when waking, as if I had a kink in my neck.  No such problem, I've had this before.  A few aspiring to start the day, not much else I can do immediately.  I should figure out how to get back on medicine soon.  Bleh.  Hate the stuff, but it works... when I can stay on it.  Same with insulin.  Though I still think, if things keep working as they are, insulin might be droppable in some future time.  It will never be so for the heart.  They destroyed it, essentially, by not simply treating it with medicine before turning my heart into a leather stuffed football.  No give to it, a rock.  But... medicine helps... when I can take it and stay on it.  For what it's worth.  Would rather have been an engineer... or even a ditch digger, to be honest.

Yes, a nap.  Later.

Still awake.

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I couldn't do much.  I did get the burger fried, and had a wonderful taco salad.  Oh, yes, quite nice.  Burger, spiced well but not too heavily this time.  Chipotle and regular pepper flecks, well, for heat.  Onion, garlic, and a few others to bring out the right extra notes.  As well, the raw sour cream for a local dairy, cheese, and romaine.  I had a plate and an half.  I couldn't stop.

I... saw that an item that I didn't think was going to show until Monday kept creeping closer.  It... almost, as is not usual, seemed to be getting to a delivery point ahead of when they do that, if they mean to deliver Monday.  Usually, if to be delivered Monday, it won't arrive at a certain point until Saturday, often later... or Sunday.

But, no.  It arrived at the next stop over yesterday afternoon, was it?  Now, they might have simply "lost" it there, but... the movement had been steady.  There was a chance it would show, at the delivery point, today.  In time to deliver?  Right.  But, whatever.  They don't deliver on Saturdays.  Silly.  But... it did arrive.  And... it is out!  Must be the season.  

I have only been waiting on this for.... five or six years.  So, yeah.  Who knows.  It could still end up lost, it could arrive broken, the system might not work... lots of problems.  BUT... it... is well ahead, and out for delivery.  I have been researching, in preparation.  The question is, will it show early or late?  Should I nap?  Oh, I don't know.  Now that I know, I am almost too excited to sleep!

Then I heard something go by.  It sounded like a plow.  Plow?  I jumped, and had a look out.  No snow.  Sheesh!  But it did sound like a plow went by.  Maybe.  Or farm equipment, dragging something?  Don't scare me like that!  Oh well.  I suppose I ought to go take a nap.  Except I want to wait for dawn light, so as to feed and water the ducks, and exchange water for the rabbits.  Then I can sleep.

I best put the burger crumble up, after, too.  It should be cool enough.  Later today, I hope to get the chicken baked, then pull the meat from the bone.  I really am excited about chicken veggie soup.  My homemade beef stock doesn't have much taste, but will have the bone stuff and gelatin that soups and stews love.  I think I have a package of pork hocks as well.  Not for flavor, just for the thickening.  Who knows... a bit of a frankensoup, but... I think it will do.

Later.  Or... more later.  Not quite good night?  We will see.  Definitely later.

Friday, December 11, 2020

I simply haven't decided.

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Going slow, but going.  I just, finally, fed and watered the rabbits, put the ducks in, fed the girls, and am making a second meal for myself.  It's cold out, but not terribly cold.  It seems to be skifting, just a sprinkling of snow... or ice crystals.  So far, nothing even sticking, or enough to stick?  I still had the furnace down.  I upped that a bit.  It might help.

After a meal, and some time to digest that, I will reconsider the options.  Back to bed, or on to work.  So tired, of the sleepy sort.  The body is a bit achy, but not terribly.  I have a number of small chores and tasks I could manage.  But... I am not sure it is possible.  I'm not sure if it is the cold, the dark, health, or... what.  I can never be sure.

If I can't work, it is better to sleep until I can... if possible... than to stay awake beyond my psychic ability to navigate the world.  That just doesn't end well.  I begin sleeping in near coma style if I push to some point, losing all capacity to function.  So, if I am unable to work... within an hour after eating... it is on back to bed.  If I can do a few things, I will.  If, though too, I begin to start lagging, it's on to bed as well.

I'd love to hit it, and do the kitchen counters and bathroom, get a shower, do a load of laundry, and... perhaps bake the chicken to be stripped for stew meat plus cook a panful of burger for crumble for the week.  And?  Maybe.  If I have my doubts.  It sounds easy, in a way, writing it out.  But it never is.  Still, it's... the goal.  Later.

So tired.

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I can't be sure when I went back to bed.  Was it 10:30? Noon?  Perhaps I wrote it.  No, it doesn't look like it.  And I just can't remember.  I did let the ducks out, and watered the rabbits.  Plus, fed the girls... cats.  A few other tasks?  Maybe.  Very odd and rough, in spite of being rather pleasant in some odd way.  I crashed pretty hard when I went down.  I think I woke around 18:30?  Add an hour, or two, but probably pretty close.

I woke several hours ago.  Fed the girls a snack, better food soon.  Then reset the water for rabbits.  I'll get that out shortly, and feed them.  Plus put the ducks up.  Currently, that is about the sum total of my life.  It isn't a lot, but it is a service... if that may end up being self serving, it is something real, and it is pleasing.  I just wish I had more energy, to do a bit more of various other chores, and interact with the rabbits a bit more.  And get the ducks separated.

It will happen, before too long.  I hope.  As will house cleaning.  Got to happen.

As is, I am thinking of getting out to do full chores, do a bit of cleaning, feeding the girls an actual meal, then either beginning cooking meats for stew and meat crumble... for taco salads and such... or going back to bed.  So very tired.  But I also want to work, and eat.  If I can do the crumble, I will have a fresh taco salad shortly.  Nothing fancy, but... it will do.  Plus, it has veggies, meat, and fats like cheese and sour cream can be added as needed.

I am getting excited for the game to arrive.  While, technically, I did a pre-order, my particular order was just a few hours early.  So it won't arrive as suggested.  As mentioned, I expected it to be buggy.  That's... just what new releases are now.  I will despise the political correct nature of the game, and yes, it's there.  Snot noses know nothing about what has been lost.  They know nothing about that which they speak.  They are used to being attacked at every turn, so just don't get it.  That might end up being a good thing, but looking at South Africa, I doubt it.  It's just a matter of time.  Then again, that will be the end of games and much else.  Perhaps there is a point to it.  War rides, followed by death, and hell follows.  *wink*

On to... something.  I think it's about that time.  Later or good night, again.

Food and more.

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The grill lit well, easily.  It was 12 F out there, so it wasn't warmth.  No wind, though, either.  Which sometimes helps, sometimes hurts.  We don't get heavy wind, being in a valley, even if a very deep long wide valley.  Usually.  Though we often have, what I would call, valley breath.  The area breaths, due to slopes up to actual mountains, temperature variations of altitude, latitude... or is it longitude?  Well, and, plus, just because.  Though, usually, wind and breezes... down in the valley... are mild, reasonable.

The grill got hot enough in twenty, and by about ten to thirteen minutes, the chops and brats were perfect.

After lighting the grill, I put fresh water out for the rabbits.  It looks like their food supply is, again, out!  Wow, do they eat!  Still, I'll... figure it out.  As well, I am hoping to get them breeding soon.  I will begin deciding which ones, and where to put them.  As taught, let them have their first shot, make sure it happens by watching, then give them some time alone... perhaps an hour.  No more or they might eat and or kill each other.  Yea, remember when I said physical love is often closer to cannibalism?  Well, for rabbits?  Much... much closer.

Dinner was quite good.  It has been a while since I have had good food.  Enough of it.  Hungry.  I did eat McDonalds yesterday.  I couldn't cook, needed energy, was pushing everything as was.  But that is nothing like good home cooked foods.  Now, this wasn't a complete meal, but it was very pleasant anyway.  A fatted coffee, before long, to go with it.  I was concerned about blood sugar, what with McDonald food.  But, after that, plus sleep, at more than fasting length, blood sugar was at 141 fasting.  I can live with that.

I may crash for... no... not quite yet.  I will stay up to let the ducks out.  Adding water to their pool, though not completely refreshing it.  Make sure all, ducks, rabbits, and cats, have food, then hit it.  For a bit.  Hopefully up in time to get out and kick around.  Perhaps planning the cages for breeding.  Checking the feed containers, to maker sure their aren't any holes, beginning cleaning the other other outbuilding, for the indian runners.  As well, a bit of dishes, a load of laundry, perhaps cleaning the kitchen and bathroom... well.. a... start.  Ugh... messy.

I was a bit amazed at how warm I was, while sleeping last night.  And I was able to handle 12 in just two layers on the legs, in my house shoes... which are just side strapped, rather than toe bound, flip-flops.  Life and health must be better.  I will take just a bit of insulin this morning, fast acting, but, say, 12 cc's.  Not bad, not bad at all.  While McD's kicked me out of ketosis, it didn't kill blood sugar, or yet.  It sometimes takes a few days to do so, though sometimes... if carbs have been absent a long time... doesn't have an effect.  Later.

I wasn't sure when I'd wake.

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No one every quite absolutely knows the future.  One can align themselves with the possibilities, probabilities, opportunities, and necessities, then plan accordingly.  But, even for whom the bell tolls is not a certainty.  So, one may never know.  Even seers can be wrong.  If, as mentioned, seers don't seem to see perfectly, less so about themselves.  Nor can things, always, be changed.  That isn't always the purpose of sight... second sight?  You don't have to believe, but I am looking at you.  Now.

I went to bed between, I think, 19:30 and 20:30.  Oh, why use 24 hour clocks and time?  Because, when I wake up and it is dark, I can never be certain if it is 7:30 or 19:30 without my clocks reading so.  And with sleep so off sometimes, not knowing the time makes it extremely difficult, along with sleep arrhythmia's, to make or keep the very few plans I am able to otherwise keep.  You have... no idea what it is like to be flotsam on a sea of time and sleep... for thirty years, and change. 

Eggs and cheese, pure peanut butter and cabbage, brats and lettuce, I have enough food for a bit now.  Now to figure out how to cook and process that.  Brats and chops, previously, recently, thawed... grilled tonight.  Burger fried for crumble, and a taco salad later.  And chicken thighs, also freshly thawed, to be brined, then baked, then the meat stripped to be held in reserve for a seriously hearty chicken and veggie stew!  I am excited.  A huge container of that, some of it stowed for consumption later?  That's the idea.

The hope is, even this weekend, to begin working.  Now that rabbits have been... handled... it's on to cleaning up the yard, setting up the cages in the outbuilding for nesting mommas, cleaning out the other other outbuilding, then prepping that for taking in the indian runners.  As well, while at it, I will begin making a few calls to see if others actually want rabbits.  I mean, I could eat a lot of rabbit, but probably won't.  I certainly won't eat all rabbit.

I wouldn't mind a rabbit, processed and frozen, for one a week, or one and an half, stored.  Perhaps even attempt to raw can some?  In case electrical goes out.  But that won't take much.  As well, I have limits as to how many rabbits I can honestly maintain.  They are eating like police at a donut shop!  (nothing personal, C.N.Wetter)  So, I will need to thin the herd I have.  Then begin breeding?  Ugh.  Will see.  Though it might be a problem with the feeders?  The tiny rabbits shouldn't be eating more than the big ones.  Shouldn't?  Couldn't?  Wouldn't?  Would?

Anyway.  Up at just around 01:00.  Softly pained, as if covered in marshmallows, then run over by a Mac truck.  Assuming the marshmallows did their purported job and kept me from the worst of it.  Like a beating, from two to three weeks ago.  Yea, I know it well.  No problems, I play and worked hard, it... is how that works.  The only way to get the attention of a minor giant.

It'll take a bit to wake.  Then I'll get the rabbits fresh water, feed the girls, and rest.  Then set or reset laundry and dishes, while setting an alarm.  And on through to tomorrow, trying to get smaller and larger chores done.  I don't think I'll be doing a lot outside, other than critters, and maybe moving some of the smaller branches.  The smaller ones have a girth between three and probably six inches?  And are four to six feet?  Something.  So... small, but not twigs.

Perhaps tomorrow I can begin doing the indian runner outbuilding, or get started.  Metals out, some sweeping, perhaps checking the screening and creating a sliding or other baffle for winter use... to keep it warmer in there.  Plus, perhaps, setting up a nesting area in there, in case one of the gals goes broody.  This time she will get here throne, and security, warmth, water, and food, delivered as a queen ought to have served.

The rabbit outbuilding can wait, a bit.  It will take, the rabbit lady said, about 33 to 34 days after rabbit collisions for the doe to begin laying her kits.  I am planning on just doing three does to start.  A small one and two large ones.  I'll see what I get.  If it matches with needs and wants,  I will immediately set another set to get going.  That will give the does a leap frog of breeding, so they aren't completely spent too quickly?  I don't know, it's... an idea, to point.

Now to wake.  I am hungry, but... the grill will kick food out pretty quickly.  Of course, it takes fifteen to twenty to light, another similar to heat, then about that much to cook smaller, thinner, lighter, foods.  Chops about half that, brats about exactly that.  Uhrm, hungry.  I may start that grill now.  Check diabetes numbers too.  Beautiful... at 151 fasting, I can... live with that... for now.  Just starting insulin and mostly only taking slow acting insulin for now.  If this keeps up...  Very strange, I'll take it.

Later.

Thursday, December 10, 2020

Brutal.

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No pain, not that way.  Just so very tired!

I had to get to town, to pick up groceries ordered two days ago, to be picked up yesterday.  I slept yesterday.  All day.  I think I woke at 17:00... 5:00 pm to yahoos.  I didn't think they would be able to deliver after that, and my phone was being stupid.  I eventually had to pull the battery, to get it to restart.  At which time (after having been at 80% battery, was down to 5%), I still had to mess with it to get it to even start.

Anyway, I found out they will bring it out as late as 20:00.  Now I know.  Though I am not convinced I could have gotten a shower, then gotten to town, as slow as I was moving.  Even today, waking around... what... noon?  I had a heck of a time getting going.  I think it ended up being 18:30?  17:30?  I did a bit more personal shopping while there.  For the chicken and cabbage stew!  Cabbage, this time, kale next?  But chicken, cabbage, mushrooms, celery, red potatoes, and... other things.  I am excited to see how well that comes out.

I had hoped to do some cooking today, but not a chance.  I was barely able to feed critters and sit in my chair.  There was a good chance I wouldn't make it to town today either.  I would have bet against it, were I a betting man or coerced.  Most of the day I just say.  Watched vids, if I couldn't really understand.  Still can't.  Had some fun with them, for what it was worth.  All good.

When I returned, I stopped at the post office.  A package is in, I'll try to get there tomorrow.  I had to leave the groceries in the car until I could regain some energy.  I finally got everything in.  It is about bedtime.  Or... for a while.  I may crash for an half hour or twelve.  Hard to tell.  So very very tired.  But everything else seems pretty good.  So, I really can't complain.

Oh, I did change my mind on something.  I pulled the trigger on Cyberpunk 2077.  I have been waiting for that game since before I knew it was a game!  I thought the music vid was just... entertainment in it's own right.  I didn't realize, for years, that it really was going to become a game.  Oh, well, I heard.  I... didn't believe.  So, I have been waiting perhaps five years, maybe a bit more, for the game.  I figured it would be buggy.  Is there any release that isn't hugely buggy right from the gitgo?  I don't think they bother with such birds these days.  So... yeah.  A physical copy.  If I don't like it, I know someone who might.

I can't sleep quite yet.  Too tired.  Yes, I know.  I know.  But, it's the way it goes.  After I come down, for an hour or so, I'll go crash.  I'll check things when I wake.  Later, most likely good night.

Well, awake.

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Awake, absolutely.  Later than hoped, far earlier than actually expected.  I have been trying to sleep earlier, it just hasn't been happening.  I think, this morning, it was 05:00 or 06:00 when I could crawl in to sleep.  As... usual, mostly.  Trying to be to bed earlier is jinxed by not being able to sleep.  Staying up until later than that usually fails due to an absolute failure to stay awake.  Rude.

I did wake around noon.  Then got the ducks fed, rabbits fed, both watered with a fresh filled pool for the quackles, and... oh... best get the girls after this post.  They are last, since they can do for themselves, to a degree.  Still, I'd best get to them, or I will be stormed, mobbed by female furries with a penchant for pain... giving, not receiving.  Being mobbed by cats seems nice, until you realize they have claws and know how to use them to terrible effect.  Even if they don't break skin, they... get so close.

I did get laundry going, a shower, and some dishes last night.  I am dressed for more.  Blood sugar dropped to 76 before I went to bed, so... I had to work with that as well this morning.  Ugh.  Part of the reason I didn't get to bed earlier, if not all of it.  Odd.  I did a few things.  Now to do a few more, after writing and tending the girls.  No pains this morning.

I did have to fight foot cramps while sleeping.  My guess is, with blood sugar dropping, and fluid going out a bit excessively, my legs and feet were simply too cold... even well covered.  Though more so if one or both kicked out.  Things are very odd, bodily.  I realize that I seem healthiest while in major repair mode, if... getting to the major repair mode is... dangerous.  Yea.  Nutz.

Wednesday, December 9, 2020

A few bits done.

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Christmas lights.  Started a few days ago, the neighbor that is.  But the clips didn't work well.  So other options, various clips, were considered.  The small metal and plastic clothes pins didn't work either.  The magnet, on closer observation, actually might well have worked, but I simply don't have enough of them.  A stick-on type was tried.  Those seem to work, if what is available may be all that is available.  Have to hope fifty will work.

The front edge of the roof is set up.  As well, I put up the blue lights around the living Christmas trees in my front yard.  They are very weak, as to wiring, easily tangled, and... I...  If they last through Christmas, I will be surprised.  They won't last several years?  I will try to remove them with caution, and put them up.  But... I just don't think these were made to last.  They are up this year.  Oh, and as for 47.x feet?  Not a chance.  If they are 18 feet I would be surprised.  It is as it is.

We also looked at the damage on the roof.  Not too bad.  Should be an easy repair.  Snow may be coming in next week, possibly this weekend, so... best to get to that.  And, while out, I checked the water.  The water for the rabbits was still thawed.  It was just falling below thirty, so...  I will put out another group of waterers for them shortly.  Oh, and I had to fill the feed.  They are eating like bears.  Ugh.

After watering and feeding the ducks, closing up the ducks, and watering rabbits, I'll get a shower.  Then being dishes and laundry.  Not a lot, but I will get a load of each through, hopefully.  Perhaps get another load of dishes, prepped for tomorrow, after I finish the rest.  Not many dishes, I haven't been eating all that much.  Mostly just the final bit of catching up, and the bits from recent endeavors.

I woke with a terrible headache.  Slept with one, when I could stay asleep, too.  The ribs weren't feeling well, causing me to roll all through my sleep.  I couldn't get or stay warm enough... I suspect because blood sugar is coming down... it was, incredibly, 146 fasting when I woke.  Last night, after all else, it was 110 several hours after my last meal.  Strange.  Oh, and even though I am not taking water pills, I am voiding as if I was.  And I feel dry.  It must be whatever I did to my internals is shaking the water out.  I'm not going much, a cup at a time, but every half hour to hour... and possibly more than I can drink... which is a problem.  Dehydration, probably the cause of the headache, perhaps the kidney pains.  Bleh.

Anyway... I'm about to have a small meal, then tend critters.  Later, or good night.

No dice.

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I did get clothes over to the dryer, and started.  Then I just couldn't get to sleep.  So tired, but... couldn't sleep.  I then tried to stay up a little longer, to get the critters fed and watered.  Again, no chance.  I went down at about 5:00.  There was nothing I could do.  It was a sort of trap.  Moving too slow, then staying up too long.  I am doing the best I am able, at this point.

I woke about 17:00.  The critters were tended, first thing.  I'll be out, around midnight, to check water and put the ducks in.  I'm leaving the back porch light on, so they have that.  And I'll put food and water in with them.  The rabbits went through food like I used to blow through stop signs.  Oh well.  More food, soon.  But, for now, they are tended.  It might not be regular, but it will be daily.

A shower, before long.  Food out to thaw soon.  Some cleaning in the bathroom and kitchen.  Perhaps more laundry.  I hung the coat and jacket to air dry, will give the other clothes a quick extra warm fluff run through the dryer.  Even jeans lose wrinkles with a bit extra.  Then, as mentioned, more clothes in.  Perhaps another jacket.  If the goal is to be to bed shortly after watering the rabbits and closing in the ducks at around midnight.  Ugh.  Things to do.

Have a good evening.  Later.

Late, but...

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I wanted to get laundry started, and at least into the dryer... on low... before bedtime.  So... so... I am awake until that gets done.  Bleh.

I ordered a few groceries, and have arranged a pick up time in a few days.  I want very clean, fresh clothes for the trip.  I did get trash out today.  As well, the waterers back in, when I put the ducks up.  With Thor back, or... countable with the rest tonight, I am much happier.  Then again, there were a number of them gone.  Perhaps they were on the other side of the house.  I did a bit of a walkaround, but they... can cleverly stay out of view, if they are paying attention.  All accounted for tonight.

Yea, my critters are at least as paranoid as me.  We keep each other on our toes?  I think so.  Well, the rabbits aren't paranoid.  The cats are, but as they have aged, they are lazy paranoids, like me!  :)  Just because they are after you, doesn't mean... much.  And everything they might know?  I have put here.  Good luck with blackmail.  Besides, God knows.  I am not worried about what they know, if I would take their heads for having the audacity to try to know what they shouldn't.  On a pike... no neatening... ragged, bloody, and ugly.

I'd best check the laundry.  As soon as it is done washing, then into the dryer, I can sleep.  I did get insulin.  I have stopped with the water pills.  For whatever reason, I have only been drinking, say, between and half gallon and gallon, down from probably triple to quadruple that.  Which means even one is too much, for now.  I'm not sure which is craziest, the loss of thirst or...  Oh... probably the quick switch in diabetes.  It was 196 fasting, from just slow acting, today... this 'morning'.  So... yea.  I'll bet that is a three to four hundred drop from a few days ago.  Odd how my body can do that.  *wink*

Tuesday, December 8, 2020

Chilly.

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Though, having to put your hand in iced over water, no matter what else you are wearing or how you feel, doesn't help.  Did I have to do that?  No.  But, now or later, it would have to have been done.  So... now.  Now is so much better than later, in the real world.  Procrastination is best for sins, vices, and medicine... or pain pills anyway.

I have put water out twice for the rabbits, so was good with pulling the frozen jugs, without replacing them.  The ducks are eating a lot, too.  No way around it.  I have a lot of critters.  I best get... more food.  Soon.  Oh, and Thor is back.  Maybe he wasn't gone at all though.  They might just be, now, breaking into smaller groups and going their own ways?  I suspect.  Still, I may cull Herc.  Hate to do it, in one sense.  But if he is too dominant?  Maybe.  I want a dominant, protective, but not sociopathic or psychopathic.

Blood sugar, just with slow acting, was down to 196 tonight, fasting.  I haven't eaten today.  Just didn't have what it took to mess with cooking and all.  Hungry as a devil, but... not that hungry... or hungry enough?  Or maybe just not able.  Other than that, it has been a good day.  A slow, tired, day, but painless and easy.

I did push for more, several times, to no good ends.  Walking out, to look at where to start... going blank... ending up in front to the computer, wasting time.  It was that or sleeping, and I am trying to rewire my schedule.  At least I am beginning that.  I am... still hankering for vittles.  I... might have something, if it hasn't gone left, south, whatever you call it.  If not, there is always popcorn.  Not fancy, a bit carby, but... food.  And, right now, just a bit of food would be good.

I am really hoping to be to bed earlier tonight.  This time.  Maybe.  Probably?  Meh.  We will see.

There is a game I have been looking forward to for almost a decade?  Seems like it, or close.  It is coming out the 10th.  I don't think I will buy it.  Probably ever.  As with The Last of Us II, they haven't allowed an open review cycle.  Further, only a few were given advance copies.  As well, all of the reviewers, whether they received a copy or not, are playing games about the issues.

They are, I would guess, paying or pushing for reviewers to attack the game from the sjw viewpoint.  But, what they are, in truth, attacking, is pro-sjw notions.  Don't believe the psychobabble coming out of these people's faces.  The tranny poster is pro-tranny crap.  The racism charges are against a black or mystery meat main creator.  It's all wonky.  Play if you will.  I choose not to do so.  More?  I hear it is exactly what could be expected from such a grouping.  It's a mess.  Some messes have been playable, in spite of their messy nature.  When they tossed in politics, and affirmative action hires, they tossed any of that.  Still, it's your coin.  I'll wait... a year or two, at least.  I only buy AAA's, even AA's anymore, at deep discounts.  What I find creepy is when some games never go down in price, in spite of being five year old AA's and independent, with very mixed reviews though.  They aren't selling, they are being propped by central banks... must be the thing.

Oh, well, it's time to check for chow.  Ciao.  

Awake, and pretty good.

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The cave is a mess.  I mean it.  I have to dig in, when I can stand.  Tonight?  Maybe.  I went down at 09:30 plus change.  Small change.  I woke at around 16:30 to 17:00...  I woke earlier, but had no chance of waking.  I looked at the time but cannot remember.  Wiggling out of the sleepy grave, I hope?  A bit of a headache, ribs are slightly tight and tender, but really... not bad.  Since I never did end up taking aspirin last night, I may this morning... my morning.

In spite of it being rather cold even after sunup, the waterers were all still liquid, even the ones mostly drained.  I replaced those that needed it, adding an extra to a group which had consumed two thirds of a bigger bottle.  Very good.  I will just pull them later.  I did have to feed the minis.  Gee but they eat a lot, sometimes.  They eat more than the big rabbits.  I may have to figure out how much each is supposed to get, and keep it there.  Oh, and Hazel, my experienced and eldest doe, has eaten her way to chin ruffles.  So... yeah... I best figure out how much.  They will eat it all, just because.  Gets spendy.  I've gone through half a bag in this short time.  That's... too much.

The ducks are doing well.  But, maybe, Thor is gone... again?  I have six hens... shouldn't be an issue?  I actually have eight, but the others stay away from the muscovys.  Perhaps there aren't enough hens?  No, that shouldn't be a problem.  Perhaps Herc is too aggressive.  May have to have him for dinner, should Thor return... what with the other drake of that breed on hand.  Ugh.  At least, if something goes awry with losing all drakes, or they not performing, I am able to get more of those.

Yes, aspirin and slow acting insulin.  Eating in a bit, if testing blood sugar to see about fast acting.  If so, a very small dose.  I mean 8 cc's, no more.  Yea, sometimes I can run the board, sometimes I get the deer in the headlight look and fail, hard.  I'll... be careful with insulin for now...  Pork chops, on the grill?  Sounds good to me.  Maybe with a can of some veggies, and butter.  Later.

Now it's cold.

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It looked to be about 12 F out there.  They were really ready for water.  Feed looked good still.  I only dealt with the rabbits before running out of heat.  I could have gone longer, but I will be working with water.  Wet water.  Wet cold water.  So... no.  I'll warm a bit, then get the ducks.  This is far earlier than usual, I think they will be quite happy... especially with fresh, wet, cold, water.

I received notice, my visitor will be by later, if he can be by later.  So I will finish the critters, then crash like a one winged plane.  It is almost nine though.  So... I have moved the schedule ahead.  A bit.  Cold, people.  I used to be able to handle to minus 20 F with relative ease, minus forty with just a bit more effort, if anything beyond that was dangerous.  Then again, I used to be able to pull a boiled egg out of boiling water by hand.  I'm... aging.  Really truly.

Well, back out to it.  Then... good night and good morning, and day.

Just about time to get the critters tended.

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As I was prepping, Sam jumped up.  Attentions given!  She really likes her time being adored.  Then... it happened.  At first I couldn't be sure... but then... yea...  She does it rarely, but this time she did it big and bold.  Cat farts are... something else.  Even she got a bit teary-eyed over this one.  Either it bothered her nose too, or it was one of her favorites she hadn't meant to loose.

I'm surprised it didn't arrive in a green mist.  Nasty.

No use shoeing her away, at that point, so I just chalked it off and chuckled.  Actually, she left.  No fair at all.  I think she just woke.  And, after gifting me, she is going to drop the rest of the gift in it's place.

I don't know how long, or well, I can stay up.  Haven't heard from the potential visitor.  What happens will happen.  On the good side, when I water the rabbits, it should be good for most of the day.  Hmm, I may need to add water to the duck pool as well.  Oh, but this is the earliest the non-fliers have been out in quite some time.  Sleep has been quite off for quite some time.

Ah, right... I need to pull some meat to thaw as well.  Burger and ground turkey, for meat crumble... a pair of pork chops, a roast? maybe more chicken?  I'm... not really favoring chicken as a single bit of food.  I am thinking of boning it, after it is properly cooked, then figuring out a recipe to put it in.  Can't use pasta or potatoes.  Cauliflower... not so much... too heavy, or something?  

Hmm... soup?  Stew?  With cabbage or kale, a few carrots, celery, a keto thickener such as phsylum husk?  With mushrooms?  Oh, yes, quite!  I... think I like that.  I really need to see where my bone stocks are, as to amount stored.  That would be super in there.  If not enough, perhaps I should make some.  Yum... that... really sounds good.  And garlic.  Perhaps with turnips, or kohlrabi?  Oh... yes, quite.  Sugar peas?  Ugh...  I should make a large pot of the stuff.  That would be quite nice.  Anyway...

I will get to the critters... other critters... then see if there is something I could eat.  Later.

Oh, well... not so much?

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I decided to try to stay awake through the day.  Why?  I'm feeling good, for the first time in... a long time.  I want to enjoy it.  I am almost sure I could have slept.  But I have almost no pain, even if I do a few things.  It is a blessing I simply do not wish to sleep through.  Even my hands... the holes I poked in them on the cage material are all, save one, completely gone.  They went in an half inch on most, I would guess.  One remains, but it wasn't a puncture, more a near miss.  It looks like a splinter was removed, having only skimmed the skin.

So... yeah.  It's almost like a Christmas morning.  Only I didn't know today was the day.

I, however, may end up going down anyway.  If a potential visitor is planning to be here in the afternoon, I want to sleep to be awake for the visit.  If the visit will be this morning, or some other day, then staying up will work.  So strange to have to attempt a schedule.  That itself is a rare thing.  If because that rarely can work out.  Who knows, I might not have a choice, just crashing when it happens.  All I know is that I am tired of being stuck on night shift.  I have things to do in the day, and that isn't working anyway.  Time to push.  Especially while feeling better.  It's a twofer.

I'd best get meat thawing, while at things this morning.  The water is ready for the rabbits.  At sunup, hopefully... if there will be sun?  Never can be certain.  Weather could roll in and shut the world down any time.  Or not.  They suggest this could be in the top three to five warm years on record.  I'll... reserve judgment... if... I don't think so.  Maybe not the worst year, but...  With the way the media is, however, they will probably tell us it was, in spite of it not being so.  That is how it goes with them now.  They lie about the temperatures, to my face, even locally, most of the time I have bothered to check.

Anyway... If I can stay up, I would like to get a few things done, inside.  A bit of the remaining dishes, trash collected, recycling...  And, of course, critters and their needs.  It might seem an annoyance, but it really does give me something concrete to do.  It gets me out of the house, even for just that little bit.  And, it is a part of food security most people don't have the opportunity to attend.  Imagine living in a hive, and having the food system break down.  It will... get ugly.  Even around here, there might be some... troubles.  But there are enough locals who do this sort of thing, that... well... it'll work out.  Stealing a man's excess?  Stealing food right off a man's plate though?  Yea, no.  Small troubles, mostly, or short lived.

I will take a few aspirin.  Half the time I write that I will take it, I forget... or stall until I am in bed or no longer need it.  But, with pushing the day, and just finally having a good day, I... want a bit of help.  On back to reading the internet, watching vids, and generally scruffing about until the sun comes up.  Good morning and day, SlowPoke.  :p

Doing strangely better.

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I just feel better.  Ribs are still... painful.  At times and depending on what I am doing.  But in a much smaller way.  Vision to thinking seems  to have cleared just a bit.  Life is almost easy.  Well... it is easy.  Now to get to were doing things, as well, is easy?  Or... just doable.  I don't mind the pain, as long as I can get some work done.  One step at a time.  Not sure what caused the improvement.  Will take it and work from there.

A strange result of the improvement may be that I can get to bed early tonight.  Earlier.  I didn't dose, haven't, with the slow acting insulin.  I will before bedtime.  Wasn't feeling the best, had to do a minor adjustment, and everything was good again.  I didn't take the slow acting until that improvement.  It's tricky, when any system or aspect of health can crash, in one of two directions, at any given moment.  But it's possible to get through, for some of us.

I noticed the improvement when, after days... weeks... a month? of not touching the thing... as solutions had started taking up to two minutes... I grabbed the rubik's cube, and if still with the slow method and my tweaks, kicked out a threesome, plus resets, in about 1:10 per.  With two resettings of the cube, plus three solutions, I did them in under 3:30... I think about 3:26?  Or so.  In case what I wrote somehow didn't make sense.  I had thought it was faster, while in the process, but nope.  Still, that's... not bad.  The fastest I have been able to do, with this arrangement, is probably right at a minute.  But that is unusual.  A rare... semi-rare... exceptional few minutes of clarity.

A bite to eat.  Ducks are in, waterers are in.  I will reset the waterers for the morning, feed the girls, cut the furnace, and crash like I know what I am doing.  A prayer session, then sleep.  Good night.

Monday, December 7, 2020

It is cold out there!

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And... not.  When you haven't eaten, the cold really gets to you.  Anyway...

Neighbor visited.  To put up lights.  It's a job hobby of his.  His price beat every price I could arrange myself, as well as installation.  Crazy, but... okay.  The one problem is the steel roof.  I had this problem the last time I tried this thing.  Yeah, it's like that.  I wondered about magnets.  What they sell specifically for Christmas light magnetic clips cost a fortune.  There are... other choices.  Those look far more possible.

After checking, digging, and window shopping my fingers off, I finally decided I best check to see if my particular metal roof was magnetic.  No doubt, if I had just ordered, it would not have been magnetic.  Well... yes, mostly.  It isn't extremely magnetic, but it will hold.  The worry is, with weight and wind, just how well.  The lights are led, and quite light in all other ways.  The magnetic clips will be more expensive, but not impossibly too much more expensive.  Possibly enough that, where required, the magnets might do well.  There are some places the other clips will do just fine.  Ugh.

The thing is, I dare not order.  Plus, I can probably find less expensive options locally... if I can find them.  Calling, for bits, doesn't work well.  Yes!  I might well hear.  We have those!  And what they have is nothing like what I need, hoped, imagined.  So, some leg work.  Of course, that means... getting up.  Which is... difficult.  Still... it's for a good cause.  Bleh.

Wherever there is a problem, there is... the potential for even worse, more complex, and expensive non-solutions.  Only one solution seems to work for inexpensive (enough), available, and functional.  Oh... I could by rebar, or stainless, or copper rods, and figure out hanging clips from those, get those welded up (in spite of not having a welder (currently... hint hint (to no one))), then... well... though a welder would be nice.  Just saying.  :p  No... probably magnets.  Or sandpaper, cut into strips, and folded in, or glued to the plastic clips?  Or... grippy waterproof stuff... tape...  Taped to the roof, perhaps in small squares, to give roughage for the clips to hold?  Bleh.  Anyway... begun, the lights of Christmas 2020, has!

On the easy side, I ordered solar lights for the two front living Christmas trees in my yard.  I don't know if that will work at all.  I have great doubts.  Still... only one way to find out.  Good luck on your affairs, getting them in order, doing your things, and not breaking limbs, banks, or friendships!  What a gas.  No worries, it all works.  Until it doesn't.  Later.

A rotten brutal night and start.

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I'll let you off the hook early.  Life is improving.  Aspirin, after tending critters, is helping.  Critters first!  Or... that's the usual.  Plus, I stall taking pain killers.  Sometimes I end up forgetting to take them, sometimes I end up no longer needing them.  It's... a bit of a game.  It seems cruel, but it means I only take aspirin or such if I need it.  Or I'd be popping them like candy.  A few times a week, max, unless I pop my f'ing ribs out.  Even then, I'm... trying to keep off the pill box.  And, ribs?  A bit of a step back.  They hurt well and truly this 'morning'.  Breathing is still free, so screw em'.  *spitting out blood and grinning*

Anyway.  I think part of the problem was that I didn't need anything like the number of water pills I took.  While my feet were inflating, which lead me to believe my torso had already filled (as is usually the case).  I forgot one thing.  When I bust up my innards, or am in a state of repair (especially fresh repairs, but in this case both new and old I think), water flows out from those areas.  So?

So, I didn't have any flood in lungs or general trunk.  The legs may have been swelling from a bit too much salt over a few days.  Sometimes I just can't get enough salt.  Bull in the heather, I'm telling YOU!  And they were swelling something awful.  However, that... didn't quite work out to what I thought.  My usual dose, possibly less, would have worked.  Being broken up inside, in the torso, means before it can even get to my legs, it gets dumped... mostly, usually.

As well, the insulin was so... potent!  It hit me like a ton of bricks.  I have been eating, pretty much, pure carbs... probably downing between three and four pounds of pasta the last few days, half of it with only butter as an add.  And, for the last week or two, it's been carb heaven... or hell... depending on how you see things.  There is no way blood sugar was anything but... very very high.  It was possibly outside of the range of my glucometer.  I am just sad I didn't check.  I'll bet it dropped three hundred points, with one dose of 30 cc's of slow acting and, two hours later and with food, 20 cc's of fast acting with a double plate of pork roast with a keto gravy.

Between the two, I suffered.  A nasty headache.  I  think from the water pills trying to dry out the desert of my body.  And a bunch of other ugly, mean, and nasty littler and bigger side effects from the two meds.  Getting better, as mentioned.  I will stick to one dose of slow acting, for this first week to ten days, then, as needed, after checking carefully, add the fast acting.  Ugh!  As to water pills?  Those... I will skip for a day or two.  If legs begin swelling again, I will start with one pill.  Sheesh.

Further, back to keto, somehow.  I don't have much energy to do what is required, cooking or other food prep.  But I'm going to have to pull, draw, grab, what is required from wherever I can, or go hungry.  I'm not in shape to go hungry.  But I'll... that's... how it is planned... hoped.  Ugh.

Oh, if you are stuck in, I found a series of vids that were... very good.  I have devoured them, some of them twice.  A new one out today.  It is probably best to go to his y.t. page, and begin from the beginning.  I was getting them randomly, and, toward the end it was a mess figuring out which ones I had already watched.  It sure beats anything on t.v., which I quit long ago anyway.  And finding a decent movie is nigh impossible, that I haven't seen, and which isn't a gross affront to a normalcy I'd prefer to know... save for musically?  Though... those make sense, if you understand at all.  Still, for movies?  Normyville, for me.  There are... some issues.  But it IS y.t.  Many of you wouldn't notice... or care?