What are women?

Women have been people and sometimes objects I have studied. As people, they include my mother, sisters, aunts, friends, girl friends, lovers, and teachers. I have known these women as people who I have worked with, played with, and with whom I have shared care, learning, and various forms of love. The object that is woman is the body she inhabits, a sensual, soft, curvaceous creation. Not all women have been objectified, certainly my mother and girls are precluded from this group. But many other women might receive attention due to their anatomy, actions, voices, or just from my desires and needs. I will not make a claim to understand women, their motives, the physics related to their mechanical actions, or my attraction for them. I just know they are different in form and function. I also know that I am often attracted to them. None of this is fully understood and it is my sincerest hope that it remains a mystery until I die. And yet, I wish to consider and share some of my thoughts about women.

Women seem to have a vast head start in communication, maturity, and perhaps creativity over men which over time becomes more equal if not directly on par. They seem to lack physical strength, mathematical understanding, geometric grounding, and an overall competitive nature, if they may seriously compete with other women. The president of Harvard was kicked out for saying only one of those things, so, of course, I could be wrong. Still, I do not bother to lie for the sake of conformity and I tell it as I see and understand a topic. There are no absolutes, still one can seemingly fly until one hits the ground nose first. Perceptions and beliefs can deceive. I should also add that I do not believe in limiting people, but I do believe if they don't have the ability they should be turned away, which too often doesn't happen.

But this is not what women, or men, are about. What they are about is what they do in life and in relationships. My full belief is that women are lovers, complete, whole, and unabashed. I am not speaking of mistresses, necessarily, but givers. Women give of themselves, their time, their care, and their energy. They give so much it hurts and yet find a way to keep on giving. That is how I see it. There doesn't need to be a logic with it, it doesn't need to be focused, and it doesn't have to be taught, so it seems to me. It appears to be natural. This is where a woman cannot be defeated by any man. I think the women who wage the war cannot ever win, the woman who surrenders will always win. Such is the nature of the imperfect world, or more to my way of seeing things, a reflection of perfection in the act which yields far greater good and returns than any can at first contemplate.

As a Christian, I see in this something Christlike. I see something immortal and holy. Yet I see the mundane humility and grace as well. It is something I admire. And, it is something I do not understand nor have the capacity for in that way or to that level. It is one of the things I seek as I contemplate a wife. A wife I no doubt do not deserve. Though who truly deserves a loving mate? Why, no one if you insist on guessing and fail. Who can truly say they stand in grace in such a way that they can say they deserve love?

Some say strong women are a problem. I think that there are problem women, but strong women are not among them. A strong woman doesn't contest her equality, she proves her worth, she doesn’t demand her way she guides through diplomacy and tact, not outsmarting but loving, she turns the other cheek, and she does forgive. Only an unconscionable monster does not in time see his own faults, understand his wrong, and address it by surrendering himself to his deserved fate. This is where the strong women truly shows her strength and forgives. It's a powerful thing. It is more powerful than any hurtful thing she could say or do. It returns a man to grace, and to her grace, and grants her a true thrall. The servant is, was, and always will be the master, if not the master modern feminism even could understand.

The wisdom of women is known. I know of this mostly from knowing my mother. I have known her the longest so I will speak of it. Now, I would never deign to give my mother an algebra problem, let alone calculus or physics problems! But I would ask her advice regarding really complicated issues such as any relationship, on almost any action (unless I know full well already that the action is foolish:), and about life. Her words and wisdom are only part of what she offers, often what she is giving me is the simple acknowledgment that it is OK and that she has faith in me. It's woven into her words in ways no linguist has ever understood fully and no machine will duplicate.

These things may not be who a woman is, but it is how I know them. I believe these are her essential aspects that in a modern world are overlooked, set aside, or put up like a ball gown which will be worn once then forgotten. With the rush and the crush of hectic life, the world is trying to make women into smaller men and both into machines. She is fairing well, but like a dove in a hurricane, she is losing heart and the United States is suffering with her. Woman is failing and exhaustion and confusion are setting in. She will have to make a choice soon or she may be left with no choice at all. Europe is in worse shape, and more so the farther east you go. Getting to Russia you find a dying people. I still have hope. If women can find themselves and regain their nature, if men can decline to become machines, if they can walk together as they always used to, the contest will not be in doubt.