Doubts, time, and today, mostly.

Ok, yes, some of my plans are a bit whack, probably in both senses of the word. Camping IN the trees? Reloading ammunition, is it really necessary? Even climbing trees seems to be a little suspect in some of the circles with which I have had contact. Look, this is my dream. It won’t be according to the plans and schedules of those with an ignorant first take nor even with the old hand campers, shooters, or climbers who have their own ways of doing things and seem to have little or no interaction from what I can find. Or, at least not according to any one discipline. I will steal ideas from here and add them to my thinking there, borrow some gear from hunters and integrate it into gear for camping, take some technical clothing from climbers and use it for hiking when it fits both need and want. And actually with ideas, gear, and clothing they will go wherever they work, I see a place where others can’t or won’t see the connection, and the price or my want fits. This safari is according to methods I know work, I’ve seen them all work. The combination of some of these might be novel to some, but they not only will work together, they make practical sense and financial sense as well.

Having said that, I will add that these plans are very preliminary. I started planning because of strong dreams, and only relatively recently. The dreams still visit, and I think it will happen, though it will not be specifically as I now think or envision. It is a grand notion, perhaps too grand. Time will tell. I understand the doubts. I understand the questions. I don’t understand the lack of understanding or seeming outright hostility I’ve encountered.

Oh, I made it to church again today. I would like to make it to mass a few times a week and Saturdays. I always feel right after a visit and Eucharist. Yet, I can’t quite go every day. Some thought I came to the Church because of my illness. I had to set them to rights, however. I arrived because I was called. I did everything I could to find a “right” alternative, as I feared the Church, right down to my boots. Yes, fear, I have it, if I rarely say so about this and many things (women frighten me just a touch too, in spite of having been in the company of one or two to put it lightly). I still haven’t shaken my fear of the church (or women), but I’m learning. Then again, I probably never will shake it completely, and that isn’t a bad thing. Anyway, my poor health probably kept me from joining long ago. My health issues have slowed down doing a great many things I feel I should do or want to do. I’m not there as a gimp looking for a God cookie or miraculous healing. I’m there because I was called, couldn’t refuse, and believe it right after exploring many options.

Well, I made it to Church last Saturday, but didn’t make it in to the shooting club to join. Sunday was dreary and cold, so I stayed in, read, contemplated, and of course, made the rounds to many blogs. Oh, I should get around to listing those blogs on my site. I have a couple dozen dozen or something. If for no other reason than my ease of getting to them. Currently my bookmarks have them about 4 panels deep, and some a fifth panel off the main bookmark panel. It gets tricky when I’m sleepy, grumpy, or hungry, which at times is all the time.

Well, cleaning the apartment is a slow thing. In a few areas, I keep falling behind where I was before I started cleaning. Sometimes, it’s not so bad being a bachelor. At least I receive no grief from a misses. When I finally looked over my shirts, every single one of them had a spot! My last gal always kept them spotless. Now that I’m doing better, I’m noticing these little things. So, I spent extra time washing them. Spot treating some, double or triple washes for all in cold water, then a final one in warm water. They are just going into the drier. Wish me luck.