Is it bedtime yet?

I think this guy knows how I feel, or is it vice versa, this morning. Though we both seem to be in pretty good condition, for the condition we are in. I could not sleep last night, and may not be able to sleep for a while. Since I am up, it would be good to just try and stay up as long as I am able. I did not do much last night, tinkering on the computer, looking at this, reading that, going there, and getting nothing done. I was unable to write, and did not even put up parts of the story I have written and edited. It was a waste of awake time. Hmm, not sure what is going on.

I know I am putting together an essay which will be controversial. Perhaps the thoughts whirling around those issues are like bees in my breeches. Or perhaps just the writing process itself, choosing the right words, deciding how to express my thoughts most poignantly, making sure the essay, from whole to paragraph to sentence to clause makes sense, is connected within and without those structures, and concludes simply. Staying on track seems to be difficult for me. Oh, did you see that? I can be writing and then, it is 9:25 here and now, be distracted by, Rocky sure was hungry, I am surprised those last three fish are still alive, whatever passes before my eyes, into my ears, activates my other sensory receptors, or even non-sensory events such as premonitions, emotions, or metabolic changes. Ah yes, the patch is troubling. I have nothing to chew or smoke, and that is a part of it. Now would be a good time to nail my foot to the floor. What was that about, should your hand lead you to sin, better to lop it off and barbeque it rather than smoke forever? Well, you know what I mean.

I tried to call Tiger Lily, but her phone is shut off. I hope she is getting sleep, by my suspicion says not. She is probably off working in her rich friend’s yard. Pulling invasive species. I haven’t yet asked if she will get to the Mexicans next, or if she is still too busy with Europeans. I think it would be lost on her, and she would then just think I hate Mexicans. Well, yes and no, the people could be fine but the action is not. Their illegal nature makes like or dislike irrelevant. Half of my adopted family IS Mexican, legally born here, some here before Europeans. My birth parents were a little under half native American. As such, if she wants to be technical in her libcrat way, I want her AND the Mexicans out. Conservative European descendents can stay though. Well, conservative Christian Europeans can stay. They produce more than hot air and theories about it. Or, their hot air productions end in toys, foods, and neat stuff. Or, their hot air does not come with bad breath, drug dulled minds, and a death wish they would like to share with all others. Similar with the Mexicans, if they are functionally productive, ask to enter and receive that grant, and do not commit crimes, cool. The rest must go back to the socialism that spawned them and their nature, and their desire to come here. Let them fix their problems in their own land rather than bringing them here and helping to expand our similar problem until we are just another Mexico. Did you realize they have the same per capita GDP as we do? I do not care if Vox Day says there is no real basis for GDP as a functional gauge of the economy, I say otherwise. It may be an imperfect tool, it’s only a four pound hammer where a ten pound sledge might be better, but it’ll do in enough cases for my purposes.

Vox, invoking your name will possibly catch your eye (wreathed in flame, is it?). If you happen to pop in, and I have misunderstood, correct me here at your leisure. I would rather not be a “sample” on your site, however, as I’m not really making a play for points, hits, or such. See Daddy, not tip jar, advert space (for my profit), or anything. You are just well enough know among my few readers to be a target. If you happen to stop in to check the fuss. Hello. And, you are still wrong about that.

Oh, right, distractions. Love them. I think a truck went by, then a car in the other direction, both to the east, the car heading north. Then, hmmm, I think that must be a work vehicle beeping as it backs up in the swamp to my west, as trash pick up day there is Monday, and soda delivery for their machines happened only a few days ago. It is even worse when the windows are open and the ac is not on.

Oh, I am expecting Tiger Lily. I do not know why. Since I cannot get ahold of her, I cannot be sure. Though I do not think she wishes to do the favor, I know she needs certain things here, including her laundry and the turkey. She is being odd. Maybe she realizes nothing really will ever be there between us, that I cannot even see her that way anymore in truth. Maybe as I am becoming functional, active, and thinning, something is happening in her machine. Maybe I am just realizing she has always actually hated me and been trying to cause my fall and only comes by to try and hurt me, get what she can for free, and be the real (and as always liberal) Ugly American. Anyway, she has been weird. Then again, maybe she has found my blog and read something in there she cannot talk about, either because it is too true or because she sees it as so incorrect nothing can be done for it.. How would I really know what a cat thinks anyway? I think I understood my feline cat better than this feminine one.

Sleep deprivation is a wonderful thing and a pain. It is to psychic wanderings what dusk is to shadows, it is an amplifier. Shadows are significant to ghosts, and sometimes, deep enough in them, I am unsure if shadows are all I have or more, all that I am. Does any of that make any sense whatsoever? Then again, what are you but a more or less distinct shadow, here, now?

I did not do dishes, I will not be doing bread, I am not sure what I will be doing. Too tired to go anywhere, do much, concentrate, and yet I cannot sleep. It took me fours hours to finally push this out of my mind. ugh