In my little world, I have just done a remarkable set of things. I have checked off 12 items from the list I created several days ago. As well, I finally left my house to see two movies in the theater, rented and watched four more, and went to a sporting goods store with a friend, to look at their sales, guns, and see if they would do some work on my .22 pistol. Believe it or not, doing the things I like to do, like watching movies, is just as difficult as doing those things I might not be expected to enjoy doing. Actually, some things are a bit confused along those lines. For example, though I truly despise, no hate, cleaning my bathroom, because I like the outcome so much more than the pleasure I derive from going to a movie or eating out, cleaning actually is preferable to eating a steak downtown. With energy and concentration of thought being the limits, cleaning is done less frequently than eating out or other little pleasures. Instead of high function being the priority my nature would tend to prefer, my reality tends to favor a lower echelon of function in which to anchor my deeds, for practical purposes. Sometimes I honestly wish I was retarded, lazy, or addicted. Those are real, understandable, and, even if despicable to some, real reasons to shoot for less than one’s otherwise best.
Anyway, I even got the trash out this morning. The bastards did not take it though, just leaving a note telling me I need to get a new sticker. I hope they like that opossum next week. I found it dead in the road in front of my place and did not want to keep running over it and have it stinking and being further spread around so, after it was good and dead (off to the side of the road with a kick, then allowed to debug for 24 hours), I put it in the bin. It has been warm around here lately. Above freezing fairly often. That thing will be nice and ripe. Good thing I did not catch them being creeps. I wonder if nicotine withdrawal is grounds for an insanity plea? And, yes, I am teasing, as I gnaw off a few fingers.
Oh, looks like my neighbors really have moved. All the furniture is gone, from the rooms I can see. There are a few filled trash bags in the kitchen area over there, the garage is empty, the car(s) have not been here for a bit… Looks like they split. Another neighbor, though very tentatively and cautiously, indicated that there may have been some disagreements next door and definitely saw a moving van or rider type vehicle. Hmm, having a door locked so well that you cannot be lived off seems to create problems for the needy. In any case, I am not unhappy about this. I hope my landlord uses a bit better sense when renting. If not, I am gone.
Ok, a few more things to do. Oh, and I even did some things not on my list, I am doing things well, I am not too tired, and it seems to be working out so far. Life will work, at this pace, I am pretty sure. But to increase the pace… I am working at it. Well, back to it. Remember, before walking into bars, duck. No reason to use your head when you could have just used your head. Or, think about it.
Update:
I keep getting more done. It is strange, to me. As I do things, I often find that I have to do as many as 2 or 3 additional steps to finish, some of those extend into the future through appointments or availability. Adding work, involvements, and complications to work in order to succeed. Yeah, ok, most of you know this. Most of you do not collapse and need sleep after a short run usually. It is not my body. It just hums along. Heavy weights... no problem, shovel a 20' drive... ok, hike 10 miles on a hot day... see ya there. But often, someone needs to take me there then start me out. Though, I still may not do whatever... stars have to be aligned or something. Most of you do not become confused beyond functioning when things become complicated, not calculus complicated, just a process requiring several different immediate processes or several processes you are not good at or with which you are unfamiliar.
I have been having a great lead up to class this term, and I think I am back on my way. The medicine does come through, if still a little on the mild side (a good thing). And, when I really push, I can get things to move. I can keep them moving a bit, and for a while now too. Boring to you normals, but it's news to me. After four years of perpetual gray exhaustion and confusion, this is a long awaited spring. Voc. Rehab. is planning on speaking with my doctor. It almost sounds as if that discussion is the most important, which makes sense. Oh, I have also been told that I will need to maintain a 3/4 level course load, as a minimum. I am a little nervous, but I think I can do this. Maybe more, I may be in better shape than ever before (since the fall), but... one thing at a time.
I have almost had a 12 hour work day, so far. I have made three appointments, contacted my medical facilitator in order to connect my doctor and my Voc. Rehab. councilor. Made several trips out for this or that. Found out what I need for those two to communicate legally and I will be doing that in the morning, while also taking care of a few other pieces of business while I am at it and there. I finally purchased some pals for Rocky (Rocky is my crawdad, his pals are 5 goldfish, he just loves them to death). My pistol is in a shop, in good hands from what I can tell, and I checked about a particular .308. I am just pricing at this point, but it seems they are not out yet anyway... I called my Mother, she is doing well after her surgery. She is still in the hospital but will probably be going home tomorrow, Friday if something comes up. And, after the stationary bicycle was a bit much for her, I started researching a bit. I found something called the gazelle. I have decided to get that to her for her recovery. If she does not like it, it can go back. But it is extremely low impact, it is easy for her to "mount", and she can use it without any resistance or with a goodly lot of it. But, she wouldn't be able to put it together, of course, so I made a call or two after that. I do not think it will be there the day she gets home, but by Monday, I am hoping. I have crossed as much off my list as possible, gone on to do at least one, maybe one and a half more list(s), and I am not quite done even with today. Tomorrow starts early again, and runs up until class is out at 8:00pm, I do believe.
Oh, right, I am looking for an electronic kit. You know, one of the non-solder multi-kits, one with a breadboard. For my electrical science class, and probably other classes, it would be quite nice. Along with my voltmeter, I should be able to play around and learn, and perhaps more practically, with the thing.
Maybe this ability to function will not last. I will take what I can get. I hope I am well caught up and a little ahead, if nothing else, if/when I crash again. But I am telling you, this IS very different and it IS winter, a very unusual mix. Well, back to it. Movies need to go back, an order placement or two needs to be made, and maybe one last phone call.
Oh, and goodnight.
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