The Reloader. (Day 34)

Ok, I finally looked at my finances. If I spend nothing this or next month, other than bills and very little for food, I might be able to buy it next month. Actually, I could do it today, I have a credit card, again, and finally (I waited for a 9.9% card). My deal with credit cards is this, I will only spend what I actually have in the bank. More, I cannot use that money to pay it off, and I must continue my savings program, paying the card down with my free money. I do not know how well it will work, but I am trying to do it correctly this time. I have a little money coming back from a return and the tax refund thing ($300 for disabled vets). I may wait for those, which would put me well in advance, if I can just keep from spending almost anything until then, I might be able to afford both the reloader and my next item, probably an AK-47 and 6 magazine, plus 2 extra magazines for my XD .45, plus some extenders and expanders for those last.

After these necessities are cared for, I can probably get back to outdoor gear purchases. I may go ahead with the reloader, and hold off on the rest though, waiting to see if the guys are running a white water trip this year. I feel bad about getting all excited about it, then having to back out. This time, I am trying to plan ahead. Bah, I should be honest. I am horrible with money. I always think I have more than I do, I hold onto my coin like a typical sailor on leave, but I like to dream. Anyway, that is still the plan, until tomorrow most likely, somehow.

I am having a great deal of difficulty focusing on homework, or anything really. I did find my blood sugar monitor (whatever it is really called). I have not picked up a new battery, but now that I have found it, that will get done today. I am falling behind in school and am not sure how to shove the thing back on track. I may have to write an email to my instructor and see if he would be willing to try and help me jumpstart my studies. I would ask my study mate, but though he seems more up on it than I, he struggles greatly with this material and has his hands far too full to mess with this I think. The good thing is that the group meetings I have been required to attend each Sunday will end after this Sundays meeting. It seems simple, but one more thing tires me that much more. I would not even call it a linear thing, the exhaustion ends up being exponential for each additional activity. Though, I had better get my speech together. I am supposed to have my music ready today, and my scripture passages. Arghhh… I had not realized this until I reviewed the email today. I knew it was coming, just not when. I think I have the music (it is as… questionable, yes, questionable, as my speech, perhaps it will work).

Oh, after all things are bought and trips made, then I will look at either a .308 rifle and scope (probably a Remington 700 R5 Mil Spec, with solid Leupold glass, though that is still open) or a .500 S&W Magnum, in either 5”-6” or 8 ¾” barrel, I will have to check them side by side with a holster, to check draw. It would also be nice to plug a few rounds through each. Of course, that will be after some more camping gear. Eventually I will be caught up enough that I might be able to simply save again, someday.

And, if you were curious, I have remained tobacco free. And, no, I am still tight about it. It happens less often, but the severity is still intense. It is difficult to imagine something could be this intense, and seemingly (obviously, immediately) useless. Yet, I know that down further, and for more than health reasons, quitting is right, for me and now. Oddly, the last time I quit (for about 3 months), I do not remember it being anywhere near this bad (though I used the patch the first month and a half, starting heavy and moving to medium, then light, two weeks each as I remember it).