Stressed.

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Last week was disappointing. I was not able to function as well as I had hoped. I did most of what I needed to do, I handled some of the changes, but I failed to do all or even most of what I wanted to do, planned to do, and some of what I needed to do. It was a tight week for me. I felt tired, mentally if not physically. I became confused and lost track of what I needed to do, when, and how. This means I have a bit more on my plate this week, along with the expectations from last week. Fear seems to invade my waking and sleeping life. It is not the classes, it is classes, workouts, administrative issues, social issues, and the complexities of the schedule which have me flummoxed. The classes are, if not simple, within my ability so far. They are, as it is turning out however, the tip of the iceburg.

I was becoming very agitated about these things through the week. I could not seem to catch my breath, relax, and find a new starting place. Sleep was escaping my grasp, yet without rest I was drowning in confusion. This weekend, as I began to unwind, to take stock, and to begin planning this next week, I found something good. I was able to realize I have not ruined anything. I see that I have kept track with the more important goals, the time sensitive ones at any rate. And, I see now what I must do and how to do it.

I will be starting this week very humbly. I will do what I can, when I can, and I should be able to finish the simpler tasks. As well, if needs be, rather than abandon those things which seem too heavy, I will reduce their load and see if that helps. I will stick to simple goals, I will continue as before only with the understanding that I am more limited than I had thought, currently, and that some of my activities take more from me than I had thought they would. Though I still have concern, having cleared my mind, rested, and pulled back a bit, I think I am ready to try again.