Studying is not going well.

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Sure, I am going through it. I have my cheat sheets, for the most part, ready, and I continue on. The knees are creaking and sore from sitting so long, having studied for two finals consecutively, even other parts of my body are sore. The mind is difficult to focus. The material seems just as elusive as when I started. I am not packing it in, but time will do that for me. The test is tomorrow morning at 9:45. I will want to get some sleep and try to rise earlier. I do not believe I will study in the morning before this test though. It would probably only confuse things.

On the good side, both of my professors were good, in my opinion, this year. That has definitely not always been the case. They spoke clearly, they did their best to clarify the material, and the one I needed to depend on the most was available and rather forgiving in many ways. I cannot say I did not get a fair shake at the material, so it is in my hands. Urhm, my shaking hands. Of course, to worry will profit me not a whit. So, I think I will order a pizza, get back to studies, take a break when it comes. Finish off around 22:00 or 23:00, then hit the sack. Sleep does help a great deal… if I can wake up well enough and early enough. Back to it… shaken, and stirred, I think.

The crazy thing is, if my health would hold or if there was a medicine which really would help, I would stick through this. I love it, even the harshness of it a bit. Bummer. Maybe I can bring some of the discipline and desire I gained here to whatever it is I end up doing, as I can do it. I have noticed that many people have no idea what they are doing, honestly. They do what they do because they were taught what they do and have not thought about it since. A simple suggestion has often, if accepted, changed the speed of an eventuality, the ease of a task, and the outlook of the target. Then again, being called a know it all is no fun either. Especially when one is not. I do not even wish to be.

I am pretty sure the ideal of what I am learning has greatly impacted my personal life and has changed what I do, what I can do (or believe is possible, so try), and how I do it. Between my own understandings, the internet, libraries, book stores, and sources both human and otherwise out there, about the only thing I will not tinkering with, given an interest or need, is other people’s medical needs. People are out of my emotional capacity, while they are in distress, to deal with. Though if they can handle the pain, I could stitch them up, or a few other things, as I can and have for myself if necessary. But I will not unless I am sure they will not whine about scars, yelp in pain, or do other unnerving things (or sue).

Well, back to it.