Whew!

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I finally got in touch with my Mom, to give her the hotel information and to make sure the dates and such where copasetic. She took down the information and said she was looking forward to seeing me this coming weekend. WHAT? I was sure I had arranged for not this but next weekend. So, we went to our calenders, checked the holiday, I went to my email to see about the dates to which the lodging had agreed, and then we compared notes. Yes, no, there... Ah! It is all good. I simply thought the thing was a week further out then what it is. So, next Saturday I will be on my way to Colorado and I will not need to reschedule anything. I can ill afford it, but then again, who knows. I sometimes fret over things I should not, moneywise, or really anywise. Then again, sometimes I do not fret enough and... well, yeah.

I made dinner, a breakfast dinner, then sat down to eat. I did this just as a matter of action, without thought. I then looked at my plate. Three fried eggs (jumbo), 2 sausage patties (about 2 to 3 ounces, cooked, each), and a potato I had left from my last baking incident cut into rounds, plus a 16 ounce glass of milk (well, really 14 ounces otherwise it is too full to move). Hmm, I could cut down to two eggs, I suppose. That would not kill me, probably. And, maybe one patty of sausage. Yes, that could do me no harm, mostly. And perhaps only half a potato, that one will hurt, but, I am a man you know. Oh fine, maybe 8 ounces of milk. *sigh* They might have a point. But then again, I only eat once or twice a day.

I would love to eat more often, and I would add veggies, but I really do not have the capacity in: cooking gear (or storage space for my cooking gear really); or in the ability to get to the store to keep up on produce; or in my ability to cook and clean from such. Fresh produce and fruit goes bad fast. Produce is often only sold in portions I could not really eat fast enough. I tried keeping fresh produce on hand when I cooked for my last gal. Even with her helping, and me trying to use it all, it would often go bad. I probably threw more food away, and it IS expensive and more so now, when I was trying to cook for her, than most people eat and throw away in the same time period due to her demand for fresh everything. Unless you run a restaurant, it is not feasible. Then again, I would guess they throw a LOT of food away as well, but since they can add that cost into what is sold, they do not lose money. Still, I am looking at ways and means of changing some things.

My bible reading continues. I was not two books before Titus as I had thought. I am still not there. I am just start 1 Thessalonians. But that and the next book seem quite short. Paul can be interesting to read, though often he repeats himself from previous letters too. I sometimes have to remind myself just who Paul was, and how he came to be writing these letters. If you believe, which I do, it is quite profound. He was a man who persecuted Christians and did it so well that the Jewish leaders gave him writs to travel and persecute in distant places. That he was blinded by light and heard Christ, who told him where to go for healing and what to do after that, it is amazing. It is not quite as amazing as Christ's resurrection or works, but it is quite a thing.

I do see why, purely based on logic and without seeing such miracles today personally, many do not believe. As well, 2000 years and counting is a long time. Many at that time thought the end times was quite near. They thought, literally, that at any moment Christ would return. I am sure many who marginally believe take that into account when they sit the fence. I wonder, at this time and while reading, how long before Christ that he was prognosticated? Was it Abraham who was given the promise of an heir who would show the way, first? Or where there even earlier, or more clear, or even less clear promises of a Christ? I will have to dig into that in time.

And, for my own part, if I have a heretical notion (if not a prominent one, just a thought) it would be to wonder if the end of man comes when each of us dies of flesh. Could it be that Christ really will not return? No, I know. But it is a nagging thought. Perhaps Christ only meant for us to live righteously and in faith, and that the end times were just alluding to our own deaths. I cannot know, for certain. And, in the majority, I do not believe that, but it is back there, kicking around and making a lot of noise.

Faith is difficult. Even for one who has it in spades, my ability to know what is sure and what is real and what is merely a notion is limited. Christ admitted that He did not know all that the Father knows, only what He was taught and told, to include not knowing when He would return (so maybe if He even would return). Only the Holy Spirit has delved God in such a fashion so as to know the depths of the Father. Having had a faithful father, a foster father, who was a Presbyterian minister who had a doctorate in theology, I know that men of great learning and great faith will also always have questions, doubts, and issues with understanding and differentiating facts of the bible from other forms of notions within the book(s). So it will be. More the reason to look deeper I should think.

I am off to no good, or to reading the bible. Hmm, some choice. Depending on who I might be speaking with or writing for, there might not really be a choice (on their part) about that first sentence. Weird but true.

Have a good day. Maybe even good night.