How much today, not much..

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The day started late. Then again, I worked from 8:15 to midnight or a little later, to a degree then did not end up in bed until almost 3:00. Now, at some point, I would like the notion that I can do everything I did yesterday as a slightly unusual day and keep on hiking the next day. I might, or at least could, get to that point. Today though, my body and mind simply are not in that kind of shape. I am in better shape than I have ever been off medication, with only one medication ever offering this kind of function. If too, that medicine was hard to take just like the rest. I am nearing that "high" though, and doing it free-range.

As I work to expand my days, handle appointments, work on the house, fill other obligations and duties, climb out of bed earlier and regularly, eat better, and exercise, I can only see that getting better. My main threat is finding life normalizing and seeing me shrink to fit a less demanding life. This is going to be a true test. When appointments are no longer requiring me to go into town, when the paperwork is completed for all and asunder, when everything is moved in and settled, it will be my will, created need (if literal in some theoretical or health sense), and wants which will either drive my wagon, or not.

School was good for this, but I was not ready to attend school and may still not be fit. I need to be more regular in my schedule for a longer period of time. I need to be more fit, physically. And I will need to revisit old course topics and review the material well before I contemplate a return to academics. At this time, I have to prove to myself that I am not just ready but that I am able. Honestly that may never happen. I may simply be unfit for school and am not interested in chasing the rabbit down the hole only to have it disappear again.

I think Church might offer opportunities. One of the things I have been thinking about since living in Iowa is visiting those condemned to die in prison. Here the Pope and I have a slight disagreement. It is not directly over the issue, as I think we concur fully. However, where we disagree is in whether men can (and will be when they should be) kept in prison safely. Prison guards and other inmates are at risk with many of those who are or should be condemned to death. They cannot be warehoused safely at a reasonable cost to the 'state'. Anyway, that has nothing to do with me visiting them. Iowa did not have a death sentence but Utah does. So, that could be an avenue to work. Of course, going to Church and becoming a bit more involved would be a good step all by itself. As would occasional spiritual retreats with men's groups and to the monasteries. There are several here in Utah, when visiting Iowa I would like to visit the one I visited the fist time, and I could travel to many of the monasteries in the U.S. and even abroad perhaps.

Of course, my interest in the outdoors, in hunting, fishing, hiking, and camping could easily be more fully realized here, in neighboring states, and further afield should I meet and make friends with others who like to travel a bit. Horse riding and hunting using this means has been on my mind as well, if the costs are currently prohibitive. Some of this can be done quite inexpensively, considering I have been gathering a good deal of gear over the years. Any extra outfitting might merely be a 4-season tent if I want to extend that into the winter, a few minor tweaks to my gear list over time, and a few higher end pieces to facilitate safety, comfort, longevity in the field, or such.

Back to earth, I have much to do in and around the house for some time. Both simply making this home functional by setting it up, and then maintenance. I must admit, I will never quite be a homebody. Whether it is because I am a guy or because I am the type of guy I am, keeping a house neat and tidy is about as interesting and functional for me as managing a show poodle. I would rather sick Sam on the little bowed dog-mice. That would be much more fun. Bah!

Still, I will make all attempts to create some sort of functional household, maintain appearances on the outside and lawn, and do a few other things. Then again, there are real things I am planning that do not require 'Ladies' Home Journal' at all. A cistern with a rain water catch system to fill and filter the water. Considerations regarding alternative energy sources and developing a system of backup electricity, and deciding about then implementing tying that all into my current system. The repairs on the hen house. And other little needed or wanted improvements of a more mechanical, electrical, or logical nature. As well as the simple improvements possible in ones own home for optimization, comfort, or simply added function or form.

Livestock, of course, is a large responsibility, but one I am considering as well. These things would tie me down a bit. But, with a little ingenuity and in the process of making friends and become a local, this and some limited occasional travel could be managed. All of it is going into the bean grinder and being sorted. I would like to develop some means of extending my ability to be gone for a day or more. Whether through automating, or that combined with friends who can check the system, only time will tell.

For now, prepping the place, setting up the house sum total (and outfitting it a bit more), getting into better physical shape to include a little hand therapy to begin today, and taking care of external demands will see me on my way to that time where it will all come down to me getting off my butt and moving in the right direction... or not. Life and these demands, at this time, with my improved ability to function out here, is my virtual Ritalin... It is nearing an end though. The "docs" are pulling the script and all I have left is a 30 day to 3 month supply left, depending on how I use it. The choice is coming soon.

Well, that is how it is here and now. That is the forecast. I have no answers yet about anything else. I do not understand more or less. I could be wrong though I do not see where. For today though, I will rest. I might see to the lawnmower setup. I may start it. I might pick up sticks and such in the yard to prepare for mowing. I might even mow. Or, I might not. Hopefully though, whatever I do, I will not simply sit here.

Have a good day.