Curious.

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Memory, how to expand it. I have been reading material on this. I have a few books at home and I have looked online a bit. I forget what it all says. What I did get to, however, is that for memory to work well, sleep and being fully awake are required. Ah. But of course, I knew this. The thing is, this advice is everywhere and always and considered vital. Though I am awake for the better part of 14 to 16 hours a day I am still not fully awake even most of that time. Instead of being miserably exhausted when awake now, I am usually merely a bit sleepy. I would say it is much like after a long day and after one has cooled and cycled down. I still have enough mind energy and body energy to do trivial things. I still am not in shape to tackle major things. Or, not very regularly. This is what makes tending business so tedious most of the time. It is why I fear calling, writing, figuring a budget, and such. I can pump myself up for a minor haul through mental land, but usually only for one or two types of tasks at once.

While this is an improvement, it is not enough. I found that in school I could do very well if I pushed very far beyond understanding and into an area where I seemed to know nothing but could function in it anyway. I hated that feeling. I want conscious understanding, to a greater extent, of what I understand mechanically. I am not sure that is possible. As is, learning high level material makes me feel like cats feel when walking on wet ground. We both tread lightly, carefully, toward the quickest rout out, and ickily.

I am not sure how to improve memory or cognition. I am about to begin taking the math and physics materials out and recovering what I can of that material. I would guess, before I get back to class, I am going to be asked to demonstrate I have some grasp of the material. The good thing is, though it will take some work, I think I can bring back a decent bit of it rather quickly. But that is old material. Even though I can become, honestly, crack* at the type of calculus engineers are required to do, that is old material (*within the confines of how it is presented). New material, at the pace required, is always a pain. I cannot consciously learn 3 or 4 subjects quickly enough or well enough that I am not on 'wet' mental ground.

It is not just for school that I wish to develop these skills. To make it past where I am at, it is required for the next level. *ding* "You are now level 46! Only 34 more levels to go." Certainly, a long way to go. Then again, I am no longer level 5, 15, or even 30. I have come a long way. It is at this point, however, where I realize a mate would actually be functionally sound for me. A good woman. If she would work as hard getting me to and through school as she could, leaving me to work on getting through the coursework, I think I could make it. I might do so on my own, but a wife to tend the light home work, cooking, cleaning, and even occasional wake up calls, the possibility would increase greatly. It is something I certainly have to consider. The caveat is that the first year of marriage really messes men up. It, I have heard, is like losing one's right arm and having it regrow, if one were a guitarist, pianist, or otherwise works with the hands. I have to assume that will not happen though. So, how do I get from here to there? How do I push through from somewhat sleepy to more fully awake?

I mailed out the bills needing sent, I deposited several checks to finish the last of bills soon, I took my friend to Ogden for reloading kit and purchased another 1k .22 rounds and some gun cleaning solutions, then on the way home I purchased a corded drill and eight 8 x 2 x 4s. Next week, after payday, I will probably consider buying a circular saw. Well, maybe. I am considering whether I want a circular saw or a bench circular saw, if bench I will need to save up a bit. For my purposes, a bench saw should be every bit as good along with the added function, if price too. I am thinking on that.

I was not able to buy the plywood sheets. For one thing, I was not sure what thickness is needed. Further, I am not sure how to bring that back. The 2 x 4s, with a little work, fit in the cabin. I have rope, cinch straps, a cargo top, and ingenuity, which I used (except for the top) to safely transport the boards. I simply have some doubts about trying to drive with two 8 x 4 x 3/4 (1/2, or 1/4) strapped to my roof. Something up updraft, overhang, and such makes me a little wondrous at the affair. Still, that might have to be the way of it. You know, a wielder, some supplies and personal kit for that, a used axle, some steel beams, plywood, and a towing bar, all mixed, matched, paired, and plied could see me into my own cart. Though I am not sure if the thing would have to be inspected, licensed, wired, or what. You know, you really cannot just go and do today. Not without great risks, in more ways than one.

Ramblings as I close up shop. I think I will have a beer or two, watch some stupid tube, and then hang it up.

Oh, wait... Today I saw something that amazed and horrified me, in a way. No, no, nothing traumatic. On my way home, I stopped through a drive through. Ahead of me was a woman driving a new Ford "truck". It had been lifted, 6 or 8 inches I would guess, and all around. It had a double cab and a 4 foot bed. The back panel windows did not, by the looks of things, open. Further, the truck bed had a cover on it, one of those snap on jobbies. The driver, a woman, gave me a snide look which seemed to have something to do with my choice of vehicles, since it followed a quick review of the Xterra. Which, made me chuckle. First, she is not buying American, there is no such thing anymore. How many of the parts of that truck are foreign in origin? And further on not being American, she is supporting unions who support Democrats only, who are (both) trying to undo America. Secondly, the quality of the truck is impaired, and the price inflated above and beyond that, in the support of unions, Democrats, and foreign parts manufacturing. Next, she had a television in the back seat, and her kid, strapped in, staring at the stupid thing. Start em' stupid, start em' early? Yes, I think so. Get them hooked into the commercial matrix as soon as possible. Finally, her "truck" could not even haul the 8 x 2 x 4s I was hauling, let alone the plywood panels I am considering. What a *close your eyes here, virgin eyed readers* ... What a fucking LARK! And she honestly, sitting in Blue America (I do not care what "msm" has convinced you, conservative is blue... not red... assholes), looking down her nose at my vehicle. What a fucking laugh. Anyway.

It is about time to begin buttoning down. Another cool night in the offing and I will enjoy it greatly. The drive was not bad, or too tiring. However, I had my air on middling rather than cool for more than half of the drive, which added strain where it was not truly needed. Bother, but it happens. At least my fears of a dying ac were unfounded. Good night.