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I am starting to wonder if people have died or if I have become toxic? Yeah, okay, I could see that last. It is difficult to watch a man drown. I get that. Still, just be like me and stop by and chuckle, throw an anchor out to me, or just watch. Then again, I know how it is when someone is less than stellar and is drowning. They are not even worth castigating?
For whatever reason, in the blogging world, when one is already isolated in the real world, isolation here seems both interminable and even colder. Paranoia creeps in and one begins to wonder. You know it cannot be your breath, appearance, so all you are left with is that it must be you. No one else has a life and it is all about you. They really might suddenly all hate you and have decided they do not and never did like you. Or perhaps they never really did like you. Perhaps they were just getting you to write and respond to laugh at you further!11!!!1! Well, it could happen.
Heh! No problems, I have worked it out until I have not, again. I remember thinking I ought to quit this damned blogging stuff. Actually I did, leaving my old blog somewhere back in the dust of time lost. I liked the name too, though this one is more me. Or, more how I would represent me. Or, something. I have not even thought about quitting for... a year or two, at least not seriously. It did run through my head tonight. And probably will a few more times in the next week(s). But this is just one of those things I do.
Good night.
I've been struck with the blahs for about a week. Depression doesn't always need a reason so, even with a new job I continue to fight that battle. I know it will pass but in the meantime, yuck.
ReplyDeleteIt isn't you, it's me.
d;-)
Oh Jean, I figured that out in my third paragraph. My paranoia and sensitivity to rejection (whether it exists in truth or not), and such reckoning simply becomes defunct when I can neither sleep or stay awake.
ReplyDeleteAnd, at this time of year, I am not alone. There are certain times of the year when the webizens go quiet. Mood changes from season, busy or fun times of the year like the spring, and hot or cold times which see people simply trying to limp by, all are times when it gets quiet. Fall it is and it is one of those times.
I notice too, as I get older, the attack of loneliness happens more often. It even happens when I have been in good relationships, so I think it is just the way of things. And, considering I am not the only one and none of us are spring chickens I must guess we all go through that. It consoles me in some odd way, knowing. I hope, if you think about it, it does you as well. Reminds me, I ought to call my Mom. She is WAY old (but I didn't say that:).