Awake, and with a little more motivation.

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Not a lot will happen today. If I can do the dishes and a load or two of laundry I will be happy. The food left over from last night was not eaten, so it will add a little boost at some point during the day. As I see it, I do need a couple of larger containers for beans. I have enough freezer stuff, and could use some of that for the refrigerator, but prefer having a larger container for the refrigerator. I threw out a medium sized one, if by needs since it was not sealing, leaving me with rancid rice in a very short period of time. The huge one allowed the beans to go rancid as well, so had to go. Two more medium sized ones, with the one I have, would work well. Then, back to having beans and rice on tap most of the time, and merely keeping meat stocked to add to one, the other, or both of those and of course being able to eat those together as a simple easy meal once in a while. I need to begin implementing vegetables in too, and fruits occasionally as well, but one step at a time. So, tomorrow when I go into town, I will do a little more shopping.

My goal this month is to spend almost nothing beyond need. Bills, of course, food and gas enough to get into town. I can shoot, though I will be only shooting the .22s. All else, from here on out, is saving. I am not exactly sure what will be the first bigger ticket item, I will worry about that when I get there. I simply do not like living month to month, even if I am adding things that are marginally useful or might be good for trade. I have to focus. Heck, I do not even have a good multi-purpose ladder yet, but that is as it is. The only extra I will work on is long term storage foods, and only slowly, beyond what is required otherwise. Well, there might be one exception. I am seriously considering a pressure cooker. Simply put, that would reduce the time and effort involved with cooking beans and rice, making the probability of keeping that going higher.

By the way, adding food and some caffeine really helps. What surprises me though is how much high blood pressure medicines, and most other medicines offered, hurt. I become even more lethargic and essentially black-out. I cannot think on the stuff, I cannot complete any goals, I cannot eat... Everything, save perhaps the potassium pills, my doctors over the years have prescribed have caused serious faults in function. Further, when informed, they just suggest taking more. I really do wonder if this is known and wanted or if they simply do not care. Anyway, getting back to the feed bucket does help a bit. So, I need to find myself back to it. Especially the, really, humble but super foods that grains, dried beans, and whole rices provide. Meats, of course, and milk and cheese and other dairy products (if you can tolerate them) are superior foods as well.

I may try, this week, to push through at getting back on track. I am never really sure how to go about it. Setting goals is one way, but it is not sure. Eating helps. Having caffeine is good, but I think I need to add more water into my diet (and am). Every time I come up to the saddle on this particular horse, it is like I have never been here before. It really is, each time, like I have just been resurrected and am having to relearn the notion of having a body and will within flesh all over again. Frustrating as it is, that is what I have. Foolish or not, I keep getting back into the saddle and trying to ride as if I knew what I was doing.

I will admit, though, that this rest was, initially, very much needed. And, in spite of my grumps and complaints, it has not been bad. I had little money to do anything much, and I did continue to research (if much of that is lost, the memory in my mind really is not). There are a few smaller tasks I could complete as well, like filling the dirt back in over what had been my garden, setting up my reloading station, and checking on the hen house again. I kept spraying for wasps and no matter how well I sprayed, there continued to be wasps! Maybe, at this time of the year, they are dead. Maybe the last spray got them finally. I do not know. A little physical work, even a lot, is wonderful.