Wouch, sleep was good.

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I quit trying to read somewhere around midnight last night. Unlike most nights, I do not remember rolling and thinking and fantasies of flying or winning a million dollars for an hour or two. First there was lights out, then there might have been 15 minutes of trying to get perfectly comfortable. Then it was a little after 6:00. I woke to use the facilities but there was no way I was getting up. I roughly remember thinking about trying. I was still half dreaming I think, because as I looked in the mirror, my face appeared to be stretched, as reflected from one of those side to side stretched mirrors they use in funhouses at carnivals. I wanted to get up though, I would like to do a few things today. Still, back to bed until 8:00. I woke, in a bit of pain and still out of sorts, so I took a few aspirin and went back to bed. I did not wake next until the alarm at 10:00. At 8:00, I only took two rather than five aspirin and I felt it. I took three more and went back to bed in pain and still asleep. I may have reset the alarm once, I cannot remember. I know I woke a few more times and tried to rally. At 13:00, I finally have my boots on the... well, not boots... ground.

Yeah, whatever else, it is not about simple willpower. It is not about want. This is actually better than it was when it started. I could sleep for days or weeks, rising only for water and whatever food I had in close proximity, if they had let me. But being in a hospital, they do not let you. They at least keep waking you up. I always worried what they did to me when I could not bring myself to consciousness. I am sure they learned that my need for sleep was not fake. I doubt if they did anything but joke about it though. They did not look or physical root causes. At least I am in a place where, when I need to, I can sleep as needed. And, I no longer usually sleep for days at a time. Still, the sleep was great. I feel somewhat rested from it, which is different from back then as well.

I have many plans for the next few days. I may really get to very little, doing almost or literally nothing. I also might hit things just right and do a dozen things an hour. Whatever happens, I simply hope I do not get right in the middle of a couple dozen things to find myself collapsing back into my rabbit hole. I suppose everyone has to worry about that. And everyone has to worry about opening a can of worms where the worms end up being far too much to handle. Still, here I sit, pondering a couple dozen cans of worms. None of them look all that appetizing, but I am motivated to get through them for peace of mind and curious about the tasks intellectually. I look forward to the challenges even in a physical way for some of them. I am not sure I can do any of them, save the mundanes of dishes and house cleaning. But I at least want to give the chores a crack. Actually, I think, I will be opening up my washing machine first. I am hoping, without ever having looked inside one, that the cold water problem will be an easy home fix. If the blockage ends up being inside some huge contraption part and without a linear throughput... Still, the darn thing will already be open, saving a repairman some time if I end up needing to call one. Hey, fifteen minutes is fift... well, $100 or more? Yeah, probably.

Yesterday was great. I am hoping to do what I can and get out again. The sun seems to be spraying warmth and light well this afternoon. I might even try to walk to the post office to pick up my mail at some point. Maybe further if I have the gumption. If nothing else, I will trot around my ward with Sam. Raking branches is another thing on my list, and looking the grass over more closely for areas where seed might come in handy. From my walks so far though, it looks like the grass is growing were it can and well, everywhere but under the conifers, which is to be expected.

Have a good day.