Highway lane warning ridges.

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Have you ever been driving on a highway and veered a bit to the left or right while distracted? Perhaps you noticed the *thump* *thump* *thump* until you corrected into your lane? I have started to think that my dreams where just that. I am out of shape, weak. I think I need to begin getting into shape. I am not sure how this will go with my heart if I think it won't actually hurt my heart. I just need to... work around the extra exhaustion. I think the dreams might have been more than just an annoyance, more than just remembrances.

I still smell the stench of that sweat. My fight sweat smells mostly like iron, along with other minerals. Too there is a touch of sulfur and sour and even a bit of gunpowder smell. The smell, for the most part, is connected with victory, usually, in my mind, so it isn't a terrible smell for me. It has infused my bedroom and bathroom. A simple cleaning won't clear it. Only time, and if weather permitted an airing out that would speed the process a bit.

No, it is time to get in shape, what shape I can get in with the time I have. How much else will have to go on the backburner though? I will have to weave and dodge as I begin readying my body. Now that I know I can use naps successfully, that may help greatly. I am too old to be an effective general combat unit. I cannot know the path to long forced marches, 20 mile runs, six mile swims. Too much cold, heat, other discomfort, and perhaps even minor wounds would harshly impact my performance. But for short distance combat, defense, or acting as a guide through less well patrolled areas I might still be useful. But not in the shape I am in. I think the dreams were a call, I am almost sure of it. Perhaps the time is coming.

Now, I can't just begin swimming long distances, lifting tons, or jumping rope. To be honest, it will begin with nutrition. I need to prepare for high protein, good solid slow burning carbs, and a good mixture of fats. I need to get back to six or seven meals a day. I might be able to find a place to begin swimming, too. I am not sure if the garage is truly too cold to do my weights or not, though perhaps a small heating unit might help. It wouldn't be bad to get a minor heating unit for prepping anyway, and have fuels and the knowledge to work the thing. Oh, sure, I am beginning this when I am just coming off a fall, if not quite over it, wouldn't you know. The dreams are compelling though.

I was given a reprieve, for Christmas. And I needed it. I hope to avoid a repeat of the dreams though. Never mind. Now, don't take this as a New Years resolution. It isn't a resolution of any kind. It is merely a choice derived from a warning. I will, at times, still stumble, and fall, on this as with all things. I must rise and continue when I can. Destiny calls.

I cannot, still, believe the peace, warmth, fellowship, and kindness I have known this Christmas. At the meal, it was like I was with long known family. The food was very good, the talk was quite entertaining, with laughs and grins and chuckles and thoughts, new and old. I gifted and was gifted. I went to God's home to thank Him in person. My world was quiet too, if the rug squirrels wouldn't quite let me have too much peace and quiet. *grrrr* *meow?* I see it as a gift from God to prepare me to do what I must do. If it is for naught, if nothing ever happens? As with prepping, so be it. To be ahead is potential, reserves. Work and storing are never lost if wisely done.

Prepare yourselves. The ride, most likely, is soon enough to get rather bumpy. Don't be caught flat footed and unaware, if you can. Yes, I know, all must sleep. Meaning that all are vulnerable. Walk in faith or walk in the dark. Good night.