Hungry as a bear!

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I'm not sure what is going on with that, but my snacks are turning into six course meals. Rather than a quarter of a salami and 12 smaller chunks of cheese, I end up eating half the salami and a quarter of the cheese before realizing how much I NEED, then putting that up, going for the Cheetos but knowing I shouldn't eat too much of those, so going on to something else. *munch!* It's been like that more and more the last few days. Has spring sprung? Is my body just ready and feeding up to go? Not sure. As long as I use it rather than just gain back weight.

I did sneak out again last night. I couldn't make it beyond the grocery store, where I simply bought a few more vittles. I still need cat food and to peruse swimming trunks. I still have severe limits. I become exhausted like rarely before and must return home. At least I am going out in spite of the exhaustion. Knowing that the problem isn't mental makes a huge difference. Being a physical thing makes the problem more... of a hurdle than a threat, or something. Still, it's a quite real and serious hurdle. No worries, I am getting out. I would like to go shooting soon, perhaps Friday or Saturday. I know my friend would like to go. He has reloaded all he has and keeps buying little bits and pieces more to reload even more. No, we have to get him out.

While I ponder what I could buy, of the things I would like to purchase, I am simply holding my breath and saving at the moment. A chainsaw? A chronograph for reloading? A new dryer? Even perhaps a dishwasher (along with my soaking, the dishes would be much easier to maintain, if they would always look shittier, which I hate). No, for now, I'll just sit on things, hold my breath, store more cash, and see where I am when I get my feet back under me. I may simply, when I get a bit more saved, pay off the last credit card. Not sure where that is, and I am already paying on it pretty well. Heck, there might not be anything to pay on it by the time I get around to thinking about it.

For now I am absolutely making sure I keep $5k in savings. That would cover four new tires, a water heater and install, and some other disaster, if they all happen at once. It is a tiny nestegg but it is the best I have ever had. If I can grow it to three times that I have some other things on my mind. Some of which I can do, some I will have to have done. I simply hated living hand to mouth in constant fear of a real crisis. Even that won't cover anything truly major. It looks like I am doing well though, clearing in the black, easily, with a little bit of care and thought through the month. But it is so very easy to just say, "Well, I have the money, why not just...", fill in the blank. I could spend that in a day, a minute, on one item. I could use it to as a down on something that could end me up further in debt! The hassles of reality, money.

Hmm, on to a few other things.