The notion of a wife?

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Sometimes this thing still pops into my head.  Reactions from some women leave me wondering, too.  While I do have some notions, the truth that I know is when you dip your toe into that type of pool you never know where you will end up.  The simple, and even complex, relationships with women have shown me this.  Women don't lead, they influence... and confuse.  A simple drive to the store, and what you would do alone, becomes some... long drive to two or three stores, the purchase of the items you were after and food for a picnic, then a day out somewhere... rather than a quick pick-up, delivery, and... nap.  A simple kiss and pat can end up with you being in traction.  :p

I do need to be sure a woman is suitable.  To me, one of the most difficult things in a relationship is... the nothing.  It is being there, day after day, having little to say or do with or for each other other than simple duties and chores.  That can become cloying, dry, empty seeming.  That is where love is tested.  It isn't just her that has to be prepared for that.  If I seem more stuck in it bodily than ready for it, I know those times.  There is no way around it.  When you know each other as well as you can, you also begin to have... less favorable opinions about some to all of what your partner does or believes, at times.  In a day where "grin and bear it" is insufferable, is it even possible to have a marriage?  Yes, if you find a woman who has been taught these things.

Oh, and I was taken aback by that young woman the other day.  If you are asking if I would marry her, the answer is... possibly.  Does her fondness stay when time passes?  Does she know what having and raising children is from seeing it at home?  Does she know what insufferable, stale, hard bores men can be at times from knowing a father?  Is she strong enough to take her own positions when her conscience calls?  Does she know the difference between conscience and want?  Though I would be hard pressed to start such a relationship, if I saw the cues I would begin pursuing vigorously.  While I would prefer to protect such a woman, from... such a man... if the fates worked a certain way, I would do more.  But not in the original intent of such thinking.  Men her age, even older, are more interested in doing what I used to do.  If she is seriously considering marriage, I would be offering what she wants.  Of course, I would be her father's age, so... extended family dinners, let alone the initial introductions, would be quite... interesting.  Potentially fatal.  But for her, I would hold her hand through her father's funeral.

There are women, close and far, who have caught my eye.  I keep it... clean... in my mind.  I can't be distracted by the wrong woman or the wrong approach.  These things start in the mind, trust me.  I can't neglect myself, and if I am going to even pretend or more actually have care for this woman, I can't neglect her, either.  Until she is a wife, she is a sister... or... at least... fourth cousin, twice removed, through marriage?  Something.  She is general kin.  Or... must be treated that way.  When she is my wife, she becomes a part of me.  Things do... change.  Oh, you wouldn't think I would know this?  Fie.

Oh, sure, I fuss about women often here.  I won't even say I am fair, if I will say I can be dead on correct.  At least my assessments of various relationships are.  I would even say I have some things down better than any psychologist, preacher, priest, and most men, but definitely better than most women.  Simply by the numbers.  Knowing more women intimately than most men or women have known in such a way as to know their middle name... sort of lends perspective.  Actually the thing I fear most about taking a bride is knowing I will have to deal with her inanity as she grows up.  Women simply aren't logical, there is no more a guide that works for any of them all the time, or even some of them some of the time, then there is an algorithm that will get you rich quick in the stock markets.  Heck, stocks are much more linearly functional.  And yet, it is that grounding that... I don't know... lends to a new lease on life and adds a deeper, less selfish, perspective.  And beauty seen in no other way.  Every woman I have known goes through this.  It never goes away, from what I have seen.  I'm not sure if those are tests of love or hormonal issues, both, or even other things.  Of course, those times tend to end the monotony.  Hmm, that might be exactly what they are either a symptom or relief from... the required occasional boredom.  And... it can be cute should you keep your wits about you (and bite your damned tongue!).  Heh.

Never mind, just... thinking.  Thoughts tumble sometimes.  Hope blooms ever eternal.  And women are gorgeous creatures, more so when they forget about such things.  I have God on one shoulder, the devil on the other, and they are both pointing in the same direction.  Huh?  *Ruh-Rho!*

Good night.